Surprisingly, "fargin' bastage" doesn't count.
January 29, 2007 2:24 AM   Subscribe

The Profane Game. Got a pottymouth? Test your curse word vocabulary with this simple game. You have one minute to enter as many naughty words as you can. (via)
posted by zardoz (55 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
I was confident I would do well, but I did, well, shit. 30. Pathetic. Although I was hampered by the fact that it doesn't know many Australian profanities, and is also fairly conservative on racist terms.
posted by Jimbob at 2:46 AM on January 29, 2007


Is 'cunt' really considered the most offensive/profane of all words? I think this is being adjudicated by a bunch of smegma crusted cunting arses.
posted by strawberryviagra at 2:58 AM on January 29, 2007


I get the impression seppos Americans consider "cunt" the worst of all words, but it's fairly common in Britain, Australia etc.
posted by Jimbob at 3:03 AM on January 29, 2007


As a quick aside:
Which came first - this one (Alan Jones - famous Australian cunt)
or this one (the most total cunt)?
posted by strawberryviagra at 3:05 AM on January 29, 2007


The relevance of the above is, BTW, based on the link from the profane game for the same word (cunt).

Plus, I get a kick out of typing cunt.

/cunt
posted by strawberryviagra at 3:07 AM on January 29, 2007


With all due respect to the game, yer average English numpty can swear more creatively than it can. FFS, it doesn't even know what frottage means. No self respecting owner of a washing machine doesn't know what frottage means.
posted by vbfg at 3:09 AM on January 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


frottage cheese n. The sticky end product of a successful act of frottage at, say, a railway station or bus stop. (via)
posted by strawberryviagra at 3:17 AM on January 29, 2007


Fuck this fucking shit.
posted by psmealey at 3:22 AM on January 29, 2007


Frottage? Why the need for such a fancy word. In my day, we called it "dry humping."
posted by Brittanie at 3:51 AM on January 29, 2007


Dry humping doesn't cover all the ground that frottage does though. I've achieved frottage on the upstairs deck of a bus, just from the vibrations of the engine ticking over. That wasn't dry humping. I don't think it's a fancy word either, it's just one you have to either independently discover. Few indeed are the grown ups who'll correct your English in that context.
posted by vbfg at 4:06 AM on January 29, 2007


I don't get it, apparently my curse words were either not curse-y enough or too unusual for it because I couldn't get above '0' after scoring 2/3rd negative points. I started with basic stuff like 'Faggotron' and 'shitcunt' and I'm quite sure both of those should count as profane...
posted by Jezztek at 4:11 AM on January 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


"Frottage" is not a synonym for "dry humping" and is therefore not a PAW as you seem to be implying.

"Frottage" has the connotation of surreptitiousness or furtiveness about it, as well it might since it usually denotes a solo, and almost by definition unwanted, act. Two people, fully clothed, trying to get off - dry humping. Pervy dude on a packed commuter train using the swaying of the train to disguise the way he grinds his crotch against the attractive stranger in front of him for his own pleasure - "frottage".
posted by kcds at 4:13 AM on January 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


"Frottage," as distinct from garden-variety "dry humping" -- wow, the radio was right, I do learn something new every day. Thank yew MetaFilter!
posted by pax digita at 4:26 AM on January 29, 2007


Clearly these guys don't know what they're talking about. I don't want to be a winner if that means that "cockhole" and "fuckbag" aren't profane enough.
posted by mckenney at 5:37 AM on January 29, 2007


Humbug
posted by CaptMcalister at 6:19 AM on January 29, 2007


What does it say about carwash cunt?
posted by spicynuts at 7:21 AM on January 29, 2007


I was allowed "fuckwit", which has a certain elegance. I think my low score came from thinking too hard...there should be points for the creativity of those who take pride in their insults.

Apparently "pissant" only sounds rude
posted by cardamine at 7:34 AM on January 29, 2007


Pissant does only sound rude.
posted by vbfg at 8:04 AM on January 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


I must admit though, "fuckwit" is one of the triumphs of swearing culture.
posted by vbfg at 8:05 AM on January 29, 2007


The trick is conjugation. "Fuck," "fucks," "fucking," "fucked," "fucker," "fuckers," "fuckings," etc.
posted by ErWenn at 8:24 AM on January 29, 2007


Catastrofuck is, I think, the highest current triumph of swearing culture. Thank you once again, Jon Stewart.
posted by The Bellman at 8:37 AM on January 29, 2007


Bullshit. No bullshit.
posted by motty at 8:39 AM on January 29, 2007


And swearing can be so useful...

"Fuck, the fucking fucker is fucking fucked! Fuck!" is so more expressive than its polite equivalent:

"O bother, the machine gun is jammed. Now we're in trouble!"
posted by DreamerFi at 8:59 AM on January 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


This thing's shit. It kept stripping the first letter off of every single word. Plus, it only recognizes distinct, mainstream, mono- or bi-syllabic profanities. I guess whoever wrote the program calls people "shitfuckers" and "dicklickers" all the time.. he doesn't seem to think they're profane.
posted by tehloki at 9:02 AM on January 29, 2007


Paging lalochezia...
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:07 AM on January 29, 2007


There's "bullshit," and then there's the way people from Texas all the way to West Virginia can pseudomusically drawl a simple two-syllable compound word out into a third and even a fourth extra syllable -- it sounds like a perverse alleluia of sorts.
posted by pax digita at 9:38 AM on January 29, 2007


Is 'cunt' really considered the most offensive/profane of all words?

I get the impression Americans consider "cunt" the worst of all words, but it's fairly common in Britain, Australia etc.


I don't know if it's the worst of the worst, but yeah, "cunt" is a very profane word in America... But, profanity in the ears of the beholder... I've always been mystified as to why Brits think "fanny" is such a naughty word.
posted by amyms at 9:53 AM on January 29, 2007


Fanny = cunt in the UK, no? I mean in anatomical terms.
posted by spicynuts at 9:59 AM on January 29, 2007


'cunt' is still pretty rude in Britain, where 'fuck' is now standard parlance. I'd say that to be truly offensive you'd have to replace each 'fuck' in DreamerFi's example with 'cunt'. I reckon you could probably call someone a fuckwit in the office but not a cuntchops.

amyms, if you are genuinely mystified
posted by patricio at 10:00 AM on January 29, 2007


I'm tempted just to use George Carlin's "Five Dirty Words" monologue (which has grown exponentially since he first started using it.)

Plus I'm surprised that I'm the first person to mention it.
posted by dragonmage at 10:01 AM on January 29, 2007


Thanks spicynuts and patricio... I knew about the fanny definition in Britain... I meant I was mystified as to how the word "fanny" came to mean the same thing as "cunt" in two different English-speaking countries... Kind of a "which came first?" question rather than a question of definition.
posted by amyms at 10:06 AM on January 29, 2007


I got 36
posted by ob at 10:16 AM on January 29, 2007


Note to Self: Stay off Buses in the UK.
posted by tkchrist at 10:30 AM on January 29, 2007


I thought it was Carlin's "Seven Dirty Words", as in: Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits. With the optional fart, turd, and twat.
posted by LooseFilter at 10:31 AM on January 29, 2007


(That routine made an indelible impression on my 15 year old brain, back in the day. It was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. My friend and I stayed up half the night transcribing his entire extended list of profanities. And yet I could only come up with 31 for the quiz....)
posted by LooseFilter at 10:32 AM on January 29, 2007


I think people are getting away with "fart" on TV in the US fairly routinely now...it's on a par with "son of bitch" or "bastard," both of which horrified my mother when she and Dad took us kids to see Patton in 1970.
posted by pax digita at 10:34 AM on January 29, 2007


I think that the potential of "twat" has been seriously untapped. There's a vast resource there for an enterprising young person. Maybe I can get someone started:

twatknocker
posted by spicynuts at 10:37 AM on January 29, 2007


"Bum" gets you negative 1 point.
posted by wfc123 at 10:40 AM on January 29, 2007


If you say "cunt" in the states, people will look at you like you are some kind of escaped mental patient.
posted by wfc123 at 10:44 AM on January 29, 2007


OK now that I've got 58 I'm done
posted by ob at 10:46 AM on January 29, 2007


I would be much better at this game if it was voice-activated. My typing sucks.
posted by sharpener at 10:49 AM on January 29, 2007


I'm rather fond of recockulous, but it isn't in the game's dictionary.
posted by Muddler at 11:06 AM on January 29, 2007


They really should accept "cumdumpster".
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 11:26 AM on January 29, 2007


If you say "cunt" in the states, people will look at you like you are some kind of escaped mental patient.

As I said on a different thread recently, though I forget which, in the UK it is quite common to use it as a term of endearment. You would need to be genuinely ggod frinds I think, but it is definitely possible:

"Now then me old cunt" would be a fairly common greeting.

I think my favourite corruption of a swear word into something inoffensie though has to be the transformation of "fuck off" into something akin to "very", i.e.:

"That's a big fuck off building".

Top quality swearing imo.
posted by vbfg at 11:35 AM on January 29, 2007



'Wankstain' is a fave, 'bawbag' another, 'fannybaws' too, all Scottish swearwords refused by the machine.

I heard this classic the other day (after a rough tackle in a game of five-a-sides),

"What the fuck do you think yer up tae? You wouldnae get a job on a ghost train yan ugly cunt!"
posted by ClanvidHorse at 12:00 PM on January 29, 2007


Wot? No Badger-fingerer?
posted by Sparx at 12:04 PM on January 29, 2007


What's hysterical about this is that in my line of work, I recently had a need for a list of profanities for filtering software. I had a difficult time finding a good one. I didn't think to make it into a game where people could continually be sending me new ones.
posted by frogan at 12:13 PM on January 29, 2007


I use Roger's Profanisaurus and the Insultmonger's Swearsaurus (images NSFW) when I need some fcukinspiration.
posted by Webbster at 12:43 PM on January 29, 2007


Wow, my curse-fu is really weak these days. Back when I drove a cab regularly, all my friends noticed that my day-to-day speech started sounding like "Deadwood" outtakes. I seem to have drifted back to normalcy with my desk job...damn it!

Also, in what universe is "frottage" a profane word? It might refer to a naughty concept, but the word? I don't think so.
posted by Banky_Edwards at 12:59 PM on January 29, 2007


Carkfum
posted by Smedleyman at 1:46 PM on January 29, 2007


Also, in what universe is "frottage" a profane word? It might refer to a naughty concept, but the word? I don't think so.

What makes it not a swear word? It has double the requisite number of letters?
posted by vbfg at 2:04 PM on January 29, 2007


Aw, shit.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:00 PM on January 29, 2007


Is 'cunt' really considered the most offensive/profane of all words?

Yes.

I think my favourite corruption of a swear word into something inoffensie though has to be the transformation of "fuck off" into something akin to "very"

I admire this too. Doesn't make much sense though, and you wouldn't use it in front of the parents.
posted by cardamine at 3:38 PM on January 29, 2007


Bah, the bloody tossers don't even recognise cumsucker or shitcock. Nor muff, fanny, pubes, felcher, bugger or the basic knob or bonk! They really need to brush up on their British profanity.
posted by ArkhanJG at 4:25 PM on January 29, 2007


it didn't like cooch... as in Britany's cooch is all over the Internets.

lame, i want to find out how I did against all you fuckers.

it looks like someone's attempt at leaning Flash.
posted by spish at 8:44 PM on January 29, 2007


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