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Greased Up Deaf Guy, we Barely Knew Thee.
January 31, 2007 1:12 AM   Subscribe

Police Officer Tasers a High School Streaker, twice. This actually looks to be more funny than outraging. It looks like he was actually breaking some sort of outdated law about "public nudity", or something.
posted by tehloki (108 comments total)

 
Apparently not one kid thought to capture the event on his or her phone-cam.

I despair for the youth of today.
posted by dansdata at 1:20 AM on January 31, 2007


Thank god the cops didn't have tasers, or really care, in my hometown that one night.
posted by Kudos at 1:21 AM on January 31, 2007


I just look forward to the day where you can sit naked on a street corner, blasting pirated tunes and smoking a joint. That is all.
posted by tehloki at 1:27 AM on January 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


The charges seem a tad ironic.
posted by strawberryviagra at 1:38 AM on January 31, 2007


Was the police officer's name Sting? Hey-oh!

Boo!

*Ducks*
posted by chillmost at 1:39 AM on January 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Shocking.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:56 AM on January 31, 2007


Don Knotts may have passed away, but the legacy of Barney Fife lives on.
posted by GavinR at 2:20 AM on January 31, 2007


See also Taylor Killian's Talk Page.
posted by unmake at 2:56 AM on January 31, 2007


What a take-charge kind of guy!
posted by loquacious at 3:03 AM on January 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm sure he would rather be charged with battery.
posted by strawberryviagra at 3:29 AM on January 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Well, they certainly charged his battery.
posted by loquacious at 3:31 AM on January 31, 2007


And in the parallel dimension of Silly Comic Book Superhero Land a new star was born: Grape Juice.
posted by loquacious at 3:32 AM on January 31, 2007


Clearly, we have too much time on our sides
posted by strawberryviagra at 3:35 AM on January 31, 2007


I think it is sad that some moron that does something completely odd but unimportant captures national media attention. Talk about a desperate grab for 15 minutes of fame...

Don't encourage him.

Plus, the guy should be charged and convicted. What would you do if some crazy, naked, lubed-up guy came screaming into your school or workplace - it sounds like he scared the hell out of people and then resisted arrest. Life is too short to consider this dipshit a hero.
posted by Muddler at 3:42 AM on January 31, 2007


I would carefully retrace his steps, dropping articles of clothing akimbo.
posted by strawberryviagra at 3:46 AM on January 31, 2007


it sounds like he scared the hell out of people

That might just be the wording of the article. It doesn't make it clear whether they were "screaming" out of fear or out of "OMG streaker".

(also, police officers in high school cafeterias? WTF America?)
posted by cillit bang at 3:56 AM on January 31, 2007


> Plus, the guy should be charged and convicted. What would you do if some crazy, naked, lubed-up guy came screaming into your school or workplace...

After the initial shock? Point and laugh. It's not like he's going to carry concealed weapons.
posted by ardgedee at 4:20 AM on January 31, 2007


dropping articles of clothing akimbo.

with arms crossed?
posted by quonsar at 4:24 AM on January 31, 2007


What would you do if some crazy, naked, lubed-up guy came screaming into your school or workplace

Get someone else to take that customer.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:29 AM on January 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


Usually, in this context, "resisting arrest" means "the cop tasered you for some reason". It's really hard to comply with requests when you're on the floor writhing uncontrollably.
posted by tehloki at 5:04 AM on January 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Unless that's the request, tehloki. "Get on the ground and writhe! Now, godsdammit, now!"
posted by cgc373 at 5:10 AM on January 31, 2007


Sort of an anti-sobriety field test, then?
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:17 AM on January 31, 2007


I'm all for greased, naked, students, but bearded?

Ewwww...

None the less, nudity is healthy. The cop should be paraded naked down Main Street at the next Homecoming Parade.
posted by Goofyy at 5:38 AM on January 31, 2007


Were the kids huddled in a corner because of the streaker or the out of control cop?
posted by substrate at 5:42 AM on January 31, 2007


Yeah, this is silly. The kid put himself in a position where that was probable. If he was a few years older, I doubt this would hit the international news.

Can't we just be done with the Tasers as horrible things debate? Yes, they have caused a few deaths.

As big a supporter of Amnesty International as I like to think myself, do they really have a better solution? People die in police actions, period. Guns, physical restraints, hell, force feedings. Not that AI has criticised this case, but it seems a general complaint from them.

Is the use of a less-lethal - or a less than 95% lethal - alternative weapon something to criticise?

If you do criticise it, please, engineer something better. A shower of really heavy pillows, perhaps? Oh, wait, the suffocations. Think of the sorority lesbian casualties.
posted by converge at 5:44 AM on January 31, 2007


Uh, not that there was a death here, but, I'm hoping y'all know what I'm getting at.
posted by converge at 5:45 AM on January 31, 2007


He covered himself in oil so police or anyone else couldn't grab hold of him. Given the alternative would have been clubbing him in the head with a nightstick or shooting him in the leg, taser seems like a sensible option at this point.

Imagine what he smelled like getting fried in all that oil.

And yes, I agree with the FPP that this was more funny than outrageous. I'm not outraged at a complete fucking moron facing the consequences of being a complete fucking moron, and I find a complete fucking moron being tasered by cops hilarious.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 5:59 AM on January 31, 2007


If you do criticise it, please, engineer something better.

How about a camera and a database full of pictures and addresses? Really, who's been hurt if this guy gets away? Sometimes force will be appropriate, sometimes if you can't restrain someone easily and the offence is minor then no big deal.

What would you do if some crazy, naked, lubed-up guy came screaming into your school or workplace

I work at a university, this isn't uncommon, I don't think shooting the person or electrocuting them is an appropriate response.
posted by biffa at 6:01 AM on January 31, 2007


Imagine what he smelled like getting fried in all that oil.

I thought the story was faintly amusing until I read that, and now I'm chortling. Thanks XQUZYPHYR!
posted by ob at 6:07 AM on January 31, 2007


If you do criticise it, please, engineer something better.

They could have thrown stuff at him that would stick to the oil and weigh him down. Towels, foam, loose change... eventually they just roll him out of there like a giant Katamari.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 6:10 AM on January 31, 2007


If I can't run around in public naked and greased up, then the terrorists have already won!
posted by clevershark at 6:10 AM on January 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Well, when a taser is used instead of a gun, maybe it's not such a horrible thing.

But do police regularly shoot streakers? And if so, perhaps they should be using those bullets on, I dunno, actual criminals who hurt people rather than jackasses being goofy. It seems to me that this police officer would have found some other way to stop the guy had he not had a taser on him.

I'm concerned about today's youth if a whole group of high school kids are actually afraid of a (clearly unarmed) 18 year old streaker, particularly one they apparently go to classes with.
posted by Hildegarde at 6:11 AM on January 31, 2007


But he had a full beard!
posted by humannaire at 6:12 AM on January 31, 2007


First they came for the crazy, naked, lubed-up bearded guys...
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 6:21 AM on January 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


Yeah tazering him was better than beating him to death. Good point.
posted by washburn at 6:24 AM on January 31, 2007


The problem with tasers is that they are supposed to be an alternative to deadly force, not a tool for forcing compliance. If the guy wasn't threatening anybody, deadly force certainly was uncalled for.

("[S]hooting him in the leg"? Are you insane???)

Here's my alternative: Double the pay for cops, educate them in citizen civil rights, don't hire bullies, etc.

Crazy, I know.
posted by LordSludge at 6:36 AM on January 31, 2007


There, but for the grace of God....
posted by LarryC at 6:42 AM on January 31, 2007


XQUZYPHYR : I find a complete fucking moron being tasered by cops hilarious.

What a bizarre viewpoint! Me, I find disproportionate violence commited by an armed police officer to be pretty sobering.

the alternative would have been clubbing him in the head with a nightstick or shooting him in the leg

Um.
posted by Drexen at 6:53 AM on January 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


Nothing ever goes quite right went Hank the Tank goes streaking down in the Quad.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:07 AM on January 31, 2007


The problem was that the cop didn't realize the kid was a student, if he had, he might not have tazered. But as far as the cop knew, the kid was just some insane homeless man or something.
posted by delmoi at 7:19 AM on January 31, 2007


An insane homeless teenage man.
posted by NationalKato at 7:32 AM on January 31, 2007


from link: "Police said that an administrator ordered Killian to stop, but that the student made a sexual gesture and kept running."

I think now's the time to lay down bets: what precisely was the "sexual gesture" this kid made?
posted by koeselitz at 7:37 AM on January 31, 2007


But wait! The guy had 'long hair' AND 'a beard.'
posted by sfts2 at 7:46 AM on January 31, 2007


I think now's the time to lay down bets: what precisely was the "sexual gesture" this kid made?

$50 says he grabbed his balls and shook em at the officer.

Nothing says semi-lethal beatdown more than disrespecting a cop.

Seriously, should there be a law against disrespecting a police officer? That's the quickest way to get yourself arrested and charged with, well, whatever they can come up with on the way to the station. Seems to me that if they're going to treat taunting a police officer as illegal, in practice, it ought to be codified as such.

More seriously... will Greased Up Deaf Guy get tasered in an upcoming episode of Family Guy?

Oooooo, I can see it now: Joe, the wheelchair cop, is accused of using excessive force after tasering Greased Up Deaf Guy. Hilarity ensues, "profit", YMMV, and IANAL (but she likes it!).
posted by LordSludge at 7:57 AM on January 31, 2007


I'm concerned about today's youth if a whole group of high school kids are actually afraid of a (clearly unarmed) 18 year old streaker, particularly one they apparently go to classes with.

He could have a gun hidden in his ass. You have to err on the side of caution these days.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 7:57 AM on January 31, 2007


The police in the U.S. are completely out of control.
posted by wfc123 at 8:00 AM on January 31, 2007


"I just look forward to the day where you can sit naked on a street corner, blasting pirated tunes and smoking a joint. That is all."

I don't. Most people are ugly.

"Given the alternative would have been clubbing him in the head with a nightstick or shooting him in the leg, taser seems like a sensible option at this point."

Or letting him get away.

"I think now's the time to lay down bets: what precisely was the "sexual gesture" this kid made?"

Flipping the bird, five'll getcha ten.

And as a long-haired bearded naked man, this cuts me to the quick.
posted by klangklangston at 8:01 AM on January 31, 2007


I think now's the time to lay down bets: what precisely was the "sexual gesture" this kid made?

I hope he goatse'd the cop.
posted by Totally Zanzibarin' Ya at 8:07 AM on January 31, 2007


The kid tried to give the cop a yeti [see definition #6].
posted by yeti at 8:15 AM on January 31, 2007


We are all crazy, naked, lubed-up bearded guys today.
posted by dorisfromregopark at 8:16 AM on January 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


First they came for the hairy, naked, bearded, greasy deaf guys, and I said nothing...
posted by ardgedee at 8:28 AM on January 31, 2007


You're all worried about the taser? The kid probably can't live within 1000' of a school, playground, park, pool, video store, or house for the rest of his life.
posted by noble_rot at 8:34 AM on January 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


There will come a time when everybody who is lonely will be free to sing & dance & love
There will come a time when every evil that we know will be an evil that we can rise above
Who cares if you're so poor you cant afford to buy a pair of mod a go-go stretch-elastic pants
There will come a time when you can even take your clothes off when you dance

posted by Meatbomb at 8:47 AM on January 31, 2007


Muddler writes "What would you do if some crazy, naked, lubed-up guy came screaming into your school or workplace"

Keep a desk between him and me and grab my camera.

Hildegarde writes "But do police regularly shoot streakers? "

If they are otherwise engaged in actions that would require lethal force. We of course aren't getting the full picture from this story.
posted by Mitheral at 8:50 AM on January 31, 2007


I don't want to interrupt the taser-hatin', here is no mention of a taser in the article.

And honestly, if you were a cop with the responsibility to remove this greased, naked person from a public place, how would you proceed? Stun gun seems pretty reasonable given the attitude of the perp.
posted by chundo at 9:15 AM on January 31, 2007


I too am tired of the Taser debate... the guy was an asshole, he didn't follow reasonable directions from people legally in authority trying to do their job, he disrupted a school, if he was crazy enough to do what he did, the assumption should be he'll continue to do crazy stuff....if the cop or the school administrator had said "oh well, let the naked guy do what he wants." they would have lost their jobs.... hell... he got off easy.
posted by HuronBob at 9:15 AM on January 31, 2007


Tasers and possibly badge-heavy cops aside, 1974 called and said they wanted their fad back.
posted by pax digita at 9:17 AM on January 31, 2007


Is the use of a less-lethal - or a less than 95% lethal - alternative weapon something to criticise?

I would argue that blows to the leg with a baseball bat are far less than 95% lethal and yet, somehow, I'm pretty sure that if I went down the street dispensing such blows for no particular reason, my local law enforcement officers would be pretty critical. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

If you do criticise it, please, engineer something better.

How about having enough presense of mind to respond to the situation with an apropriate level of force?

My opinion would change dramatically if it were to come out that the kid was also brandishing a machete, but unless that happens....
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 9:30 AM on January 31, 2007


Chundo, I don't play the lottery, but I'd be willing to bet a pretty good chunk that, in the minds of most CNN reports stun gun = taser.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 9:32 AM on January 31, 2007


Seriously, should there be a law against disrespecting a police officer? That's the quickest way to get yourself arrested and charged with, well, whatever they can come up with on the way to the station.

Alternately, rather than giving police officers effectively absolute power, could we maybe require them to behave reasonably? If you can't handle a little disrespect, you shouldn't be walking around with weapons.
posted by moss at 9:53 AM on January 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


If you do criticise it, please, engineer something better.

Hello, lasso? If all the cop wants is for an unarmed person to hold still, then lasso is clearly the answer. Train cops in trick ropin'. Non-lethal, non-vital-organ-damaging, cool.
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:57 AM on January 31, 2007


The idea that the cop responded in an excessive fashion or that it would have been reasonable to just let the perpetrator carry on is frankly ludicrous, and I am disappointed that some members of this forum are so quick to condemn cops for anything they do. RTFA, people!

"greased, naked student who ran around screaming and flailing his arms..."

"Taylor Killian, 18, had rubbed his body with grapeseed oil to keep from being caught, and got up after the first time he was shocked to continue running toward a group of frightened students huddled in a corner..."

The first and second paragraph tell you everything you need to know, to understand that the cop acted in exactly the manner that the situation called for. Whether this "kid" was recognized as a student or not is utterly irrelevant - he was behaving EXACTLY like he was out of his head on drugs or for some other reason, he was deliberately menacing the younger children in the hall, and was refusing to comply with the orders of a school administrator and, presumably, a uniformed cop.

If the cop hadn't had a taser, the kid would have been obliged to have been clubbed to the ground because usual restraint techniques would not work on his greased limbs. This probably would have resulted in painful injuries which would take days if not weeks to recover from.

As it was, the Taser was an entirely appropriate action, and I invite the "all cops are dumb bully brutes" crowd to dig their heads out of their asses.

Tasers are a great tool and greatly reduce the incidence of injuries resulting from police confrontations. I would MUCH rather be living in a city with cops equipped with tasers than not.


On preview - lassos are extremely dangerous in uncontrolled situations - serious rope burns, strangulations, and other injuries result from their use on humans. And it takes a LOT of practice to use them correctly.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 10:07 AM on January 31, 2007


There was no indication of substance abuse or a medical problem.

Except for that one time. You know, when he went streaking covered in grapeseed oil and didn't stop until the cops tazed him twice.
posted by autodidact at 10:13 AM on January 31, 2007


Seriously, should there be a law against disrespecting a police officer? That's the quickest way to get yourself arrested and charged with, well, whatever they can come up with on the way to the station.

In Hattiesburg, MS (c.1987) it was referred to as "ridiculing a police officer". It was a friend of mine and I had to bail him out. I forget what the bail was but the charge was based on a comment made in the police car on the way to jail. According to the police report he said "I got an uncle who's a cop...he's an asshole too."
posted by whatever at 10:19 AM on January 31, 2007


Again, please read carefully:

"Police said that an administrator ordered Killian to stop, but that the student made a sexual gesture and kept running."

There is nothing in the article that indicates the kid was disrespectful at the cop.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 10:22 AM on January 31, 2007


...Other than, you know, refusing to comply with the cop's orders.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 10:23 AM on January 31, 2007


If you break the law and expect not to get arrested, you're an idiot. If you resist arrest and are shocked you are tasered, natural selection would have gotten around to you at some point.

And yes, if a guy came in screaming, naked, greased up, and flailing (as described) I would be scared. I've seen lots of deranged people do lots of things to harm other folks, and weapons are not needed...The description didn't make this out to be some happy guy running about after a touchdown. If that were the case, and it were obvious he was playing a joke, I wouldn't get scared, just distracted.

But anyway, back to my initial point, fuck him for being stupid in the first place.
posted by Muddler at 10:30 AM on January 31, 2007


BigLankyBastard: "I am disappointed that some members of this forum are so quick to condemn cops for anything they do. RTFA, people!

Who's doing that? We're talking about a specific action here, one outlined in the article which some of us have actually "fucking read."

he was behaving EXACTLY like he was out of his head on drugs or for some other reason, he was deliberately menacing the younger children in the hall, and was refusing to comply with the orders of a school administrator and, presumably, a uniformed cop.

None of those things warrants a potentially fatal and definitely very painful tasering.

If the cop hadn't had a taser, the kid would have been obliged to have been clubbed to the ground because usual restraint techniques would not work on his greased limbs.

I'd say the cop's overriding obligation here is to only use force within reasonable limits - which (since, despite your hyperbole, the situation was pretty harmless) doesn't include clubbing or tasering.

Tasers are a great tool and greatly reduce the incidence of injuries resulting from police confrontations.

Doesn't seem that way to me, but feel free to produce evidence.
posted by Drexen at 10:57 AM on January 31, 2007


Previously (off-topic, but related) -- UCLA student tasered for not having ID.
posted by ericb at 11:00 AM on January 31, 2007


"behaving EXACTLY like he was out of his head on drugs or for some other reason, "

Christ, the retarded obsequiousness and deference to any authority is hilarious here. This wasn't a serious prank, and didn't present any real harm, and yet all you keyboard cowboys are salivating over moral justifications for zapping some naked kid.

"If you break the law and expect not to get arrested, you're an idiot. If you resist arrest and are shocked you are tasered, natural selection would have gotten around to you at some point."

I'm sorry, you're obviously so fucking retarded that I'm surprised you haven't drowned in a rainstorm. Try to keep your rote bootlicking off of my internet.
posted by klangklangston at 11:01 AM on January 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


BTW -- update to the UCLA taser incident:
UCLA Student Shocked in Taser-Gun Incident Sues University.
posted by ericb at 11:04 AM on January 31, 2007


By the way, I guess this issue highlights a difference in mentality between those who believe that the police have the right/obligation to escalate the violence of any situation, no matter how minor, until they "win"; versus those who believe that they should excercise discretion and try to keep minor, nonviolent incidents minor and nonviolent, using negotiation and the threat of more clerical punishments than a stun-gun or a billy club.

The kid's imprisonment and the fact that he's presumably been placed on the sexual offenders register is just as bad, too.
posted by Drexen at 11:05 AM on January 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


Colorado Officer Dismissed after Tasering Elderly Homeless Woman.
posted by ericb at 11:10 AM on January 31, 2007


Let's see.

1) Ask students who the nekkid idiot is.
2) Write it down right good.
3) Take video and/or pictures
4) Let students out
5) Camp the doors till the guy chills.
6) Arrest.

If camping is getting too boring,
6) Chase the guy outside. Let him go home
7) Arrest him at home later. Or school later. If he runs away and goes underground, well, it was a pretty mickey mouse charge anyway, no great loss.

Not every offender has to be arrested *right now* and not every crime is so horrendous that it must be *immediately* stopped. Good god people, he was just running amok naked. *No* force was called for; it is a minor crime at worst.

Not every infraction has to be stamped on with the jack boots of The Law.

And the kinds huddling in fear? Very sad. We have way too much culture of fear.
posted by Bovine Love at 11:14 AM on January 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


It's also striking that it takes only a few cases of unreasonable tasering before people start getting "tired" of the issue and assuming that anyone who's anything other than a robot in the presence of a cop deserves to be briefly (or not so briefly) tortured. That's not what cops in a civilised country are supposed to be for, and it's our job as responsible citizens to take them to task when they go too far.

"Life's too short," indeed. Why waste time excercising judgement when you've got 50,000v in your hand, right?
posted by Drexen at 11:16 AM on January 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


"behaving EXACTLY like he was out of his head on drugs or for some other reason, "

Ever-more-reason to subdue them in another manner.
"'I think Tasers are still of unproven safety,' [Mark] Silverstein [Legal Director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Colorado] said.

Silverstein wrote in the 2004 letter that the ACLU was aware of almost 30 deaths associated with Tasers in the three previous years. He also stated that 'in at least two-thirds of the recent in-custody deaths associated with electroshock weapons,' the suspect who died was 'extremely agitated, psychotic, [had] ingested large quantities of drugs, or [had] a pre-existing heart condition.'

Silverstein cites a 1992 journal report in which a doctor stated that people in those conditions may be at a 'substantially' increased risk of fatality. The doctor goes on to point out that, 'Persons being Tasered are usually agitated and hyperactive.'"*
posted by ericb at 11:17 AM on January 31, 2007


Oops -- Police Officers From Five States Sue Taser International for Serious Injuries Suffered During Stun Gun Training Classes.
posted by ericb at 11:21 AM on January 31, 2007


moss writes "rather than giving police officers effectively absolute power, could we maybe require them to behave reasonably? If you can't handle a little disrespect, you shouldn't be walking around with weapons."

Not that I disagree: but, good luck with that.

LobsterMitten writes "Hello, lasso? If all the cop wants is for an unarmed person to hold still, then lasso is clearly the answer. Train cops in trick ropin'. Non-lethal, non-vital-organ-damaging, cool."

A lasso requires lots of practice, quite a bit of space to use, and could result in injury or even death if it closes on a limb or neck. (or on preview what BigLankyBastard said).
posted by Mitheral at 11:23 AM on January 31, 2007


@ Drexen: "Who's doing that?"

Tehloki, Goofyy, Substrate, LordSludge, Lordsludge again.

While I'm pleased you are so unimpressed by what would seem to observers to be a gibbering, menacing madman, the fact remains that keeping order and protecting these kids was exactly what that cop was posted there to do. He employed a technology that is almost always harmless (the article you link cites five cases over four years where the Taser was concluded to have been the cause of death. I'll wager suffocation and other beating-related trauma cause a much higher butcher's bill than that, on both cops and perpetrators).

And the situation was resolved with no injuries to anyone, which is way better than it could have gone.

I have yet to see any reason cited for the cop to have taken any other action in this case. This kid wasn't streaking a ballgame, he was invading a highschool cafeteria, terrorizing children, and behaving erratically. I agree with the other here who state he needed to be restrained and arrested.

On preview: "Ever more reason to subdue him in another manner."
HOW, exactly! The cop was there alone, he had his hands, his taser, his baton, and his gun. Wrestling with perps, alone, is dangerous for everyone involved under the best of circumstances. For a naked oiled crazy man, physically fighting him is a recipe for disaster. The cop is not being paid to risk himself unecessarily, and the taser is the fastest most reliable way to bring the situation under control. This kid had NO excuse to ignore the cop. He got off lightly.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 11:24 AM on January 31, 2007


"and not every crime is so horrendous that it must be *immediately* stopped"

So which ones *should* be stopped immediately then? Wait until what appears to be a crazy homeless guy stabs someone in the throat?
Just curious.

I see the UCLA guy was mentioned. In the previous threads, everyone was saying how horrible tasers were because they incapicate you for 10-15 minutes.

This guy got tased and kept going. FTA: "and got up after the first time he was shocked to continue running toward a group of frightened students huddled in a corner"

I think that he should have taken the hint the first time and ceased his "prank" immediately. Getting up and continuing your activity after a cop hits you with a taser the first time really isn't the best course of action. The guy is lucky he doesn't have a few bullet holes in him.
posted by drstein at 11:27 AM on January 31, 2007


Here's what Killian himself had to say (it's removed now):

I used my superfast track skills to run quickly through the lunch room at Westerville North High School, at approx. 12:10 P.M. on Monday January 29. I was naked, and greased up, but I danced very well, even for Mr. Will. Unfortunately, I was shot twice with a taser, and then taken to jail.

I think I speak for all bearded, long-haired men everywhere that this is the kind of thing we all dream of doing. And I know that there are many beard-fearers who fantasize about tasering us even when we have our clothes on. I will donate to the Taylor Killian Defense Fund. (Especially if they offer T-shirts. Or grapeseed oil.) Now, somebody tell me why he is described as "deaf".
posted by CCBC at 11:28 AM on January 31, 2007


I find it odd that this bearded fellow is being charged with "inducing panic." I wonder how "panic" is legally defined?

That said -- WTF are cops doing tazering schoolkids, particularly those who are not engaged in violent activity? Seems fucking dreadful.
posted by undule at 11:31 AM on January 31, 2007


Um, drstein, how is he gonna stab someone if he is unarmed? And I am pretty sure he didn't have a concealed weapon.

The guy is lucky he doesn't have few bullet holes in him???? What planet do you live on? Are you some kind of fascist?
posted by Bovine Love at 11:37 AM on January 31, 2007


"Taser International has now issued a training bulletin warning that repeated blasts of the Taser can 'impair breathing and respiration.'

According to a posting on Taser’s website, for subjects in a state known as excited delirium, repeated or prolonged stuns with the Taser can contribute to 'significant and potentially fatal health risks.'

The three-page bulletin appears to counter instructions in a training manual Taser International issued only last year. It also departs from Taser’s previous dismissals of safety concerns raised by groups such as Amnesty International, which has documented 129 U.S. and Canadian deaths of people stunned by Tasers.

The Houston Police Department (HPD), Taser’s biggest U.S. customer, has formed a review committee of police officials and community leaders, including representatives from the NAACP and League of United Latin American Citizens, to study the use of Tasers in the city of Houston.

The committee started by reviewing the HPD use-of-force policy, training sessions that officers receive, and the first 200 incidents in which Tasers were used in Houston.

Houston will also be involved in a study of Taser use conducted by a national police-research organization according to a report in the Houston Chronicle.

Obviously, a non-lethal weapon becomes a problem when it starts killing people. Many experts and critics of the Taser stun gun believe that time has long since passed.

For example, using a number of sources, The Arizona Republic has now compiled a list of 144 cases in the United States and Canada since 1999 where a death followed the use of a Taser stun gun.

The sources used included autopsy reports, computer searches, police reports, media accounts, and Taser International’s own records. To date, the research indicates that medical examiners have cited the Taser to some extent in 18 deaths. In four cases it was a cause of death, in 10 it was a contributing factor, and in four it could not be ruled out as a cause of death.

This, however, seems to be just the 'tip of the iceberg' when it comes to Taser International’s mounting problems with respect to its approximately 100,000 stun guns now being used by some 7,000 U.S. law-enforcement agencies.

....From the very beginning, many experts questioned the safety of the 50,000 volt 'non-lethal' weapon. A lack of adequate testing and independent medical evidence supporting the company’s bold marketing claims have been cited by such diverse critics as Amnesty International, the American Civil Liberties Union, and a consulting electrical engineer as reasons for removing the stun guns from the market until more extensive testing is done especially with respect to how the device affects pregnant women, people on drugs, or those with heart conditions.

Even the International Association of Chiefs of Police have suggested that further testing is needed. The organization advocates using the device only to subdue violent suspects; not to use it on handcuffed persons unless they are 'overly assaultive;' to use it the least number of times; and to seek medical attention for anyone who has been shocked.

In addition, all types of Taser-related lawsuits abound."

[continued]
posted by ericb at 11:39 AM on January 31, 2007


In the days before tasers and stun guns -- say 1974 --, how should/would Barney Fife on cafeteria duty have acted when a greased streaker came running by?
posted by ericb at 11:40 AM on January 31, 2007


Here's the offending streaker's, Taylor Killian's, entry at X-box-Linux.org.
posted by ericb at 11:43 AM on January 31, 2007


"While I'm pleased you are so unimpressed by what would seem to observers to be a gibbering, menacing madman,"

Really? Where, exactly, in the article was he gibbering or menacing?
I would hold the straw man for you to beat further, but he appears to be greased up.

"fact remains that keeping order and protecting these kids was exactly what that cop was posted there to do."

And you're criminally retarded if you think a) this guy was a real threat and b) that the situation justified the level of force in the response.

"I have yet to see any reason cited for the cop to have taken any other action in this case."

Then you're both retarded and illiterate. I weep for the social worker assigned to you.

"This kid wasn't streaking a ballgame, he was invading a highschool cafeteria, terrorizing children, and behaving erratically."

I retract my offer to hold the straw man for you; you seem to have caught him yourself. ("TERROR!")

"So which ones *should* be stopped immediately then? Wait until what appears to be a crazy homeless guy stabs someone in the throat?"

Yeah, stabs them with his dick. Now, if we're done arguing from paranoiac fantasies of the great wave of naked, unarmed stabbings sweeping this country...
posted by klangklangston at 11:45 AM on January 31, 2007


the great wave of naked, unarmed stabbings

You mean sex?
posted by undule at 11:47 AM on January 31, 2007


Too bad Biff Tannen wasn't in that cafeteria. He and other bullies (along with a football jock or two) could have cornered Taylor and punched him in the face, knocking him to the ground. No harm, no foul.
posted by ericb at 11:48 AM on January 31, 2007


Here's the offending streaker's, Taylor Killian's, entry at X-box-Linux.org.

On preview -- what CBBC said above!
posted by ericb at 11:50 AM on January 31, 2007


Just imagine chasing a naked guy.
posted by Totally Zanzibarin' Ya at 11:55 AM on January 31, 2007


There's a comment on the Talk page to the effect of "Is Westerville really that boring?"

Yes.

Yes, it is. Sorry, Columbus. You're boring your kids so much they gotta resort to this.

First they came for the crazy, naked, lubed-up bearded guys...

Which pretty much describes most Ohio State fans during the season. Ba-dum-BUMP!
posted by bitter-girl.com at 12:18 PM on January 31, 2007


Y'know, it's kind of amazing that neither the cop nor another student tripped the guy. It would've been less painful than the tasering plus there'd be the added amusement of watching the dude slide along the floor on his greased ass.

(serioulsy, this is basically high school prank, nudity is fun for crying out loud. it's hilarious watching some our supposed champions of freedom skwawk with glee here. I guess exposed penises give them issues).
posted by jonmc at 12:21 PM on January 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


I think I would have been too busy laughing to really care.

So... is it okay if a cop just tasers you whenever the hell they feel like doing so? Instead of asking for your license and registration at a traffic stop, just zap the shit out of you and take it out of your pocket. It's obviously easier and safer, for the cop anyway.

See this is the problem. Tasers are supposed to be used IN PLACE OF GUNS. Not just whenever the situation isn't as easy and predictable as on a training video.

So, if you would shoot to kill a kid committing an obviously stupid prank, then I guess a taser does seem reasonable. Just let me know before you get that kind of authority so I can make sure to never visit whatever hellhole that wants that kind of mentality.
posted by Talanvor at 1:16 PM on January 31, 2007


I'm surprised that with all the questionable tazer incidents in the news recently there actually seems to be an increase in the number of people who'll come even to "lefty hangout" metafilter to basically say that any tasering is good and fine and acceptable because it's "not as bad as shooting the guy". Well don't mind if I let the air out of your tires while you're not looking -- it's not as bad as slashing them.
posted by clevershark at 1:36 PM on January 31, 2007


Back at my old highschool, we once had a student streak naked through the quadrangle at lunchtime.

Students LOLed, teachers dragged his arse to the principals office, he was suspended, later became a figure of local myth and legend.

No harm done. I can't figure out why this situation needs to be different.
posted by Jimbob at 2:18 PM on January 31, 2007


"So which ones *should* be stopped immediately then? Wait until what appears to be a crazy homeless guy stabs someone in the throat?"
If the naked guy's gonna stab anyone, I dread to think where he stashed the knife. Musta been running very gingerly indeed... :)
posted by kaemaril at 2:36 PM on January 31, 2007


One of the keys to a prank like this is that when the authorities show up, you make one last taunt and high tail it out of there. Though the cop overreacted, I have no pity for the guy-- what kind of idiot sticks with the joke long enough to get tasered twice?
posted by InfidelZombie at 2:53 PM on January 31, 2007


Perhaps the sort of guy who isn't thinking straight because he's just been zapped by the sort of high-voltage device that normally leaves you quivering on the floor?
posted by kaemaril at 3:22 PM on January 31, 2007


I'm sorry, you're obviously so fucking retarded that I'm surprised you haven't drowned in a rainstorm. Try to keep your rote bootlicking off of my internet.


Huh? What kills me is that you didn't respond AT ALL to the subtance of the comments. If you haven't learned this moral yet, small minds revert to oversimplifcation of arguments and insults instead of rational responses.

Instead, you have a knee-jerk reaction against authority (bootlicking? Come on...) and pounce on anyone suggesting that a guy running naked, screaming, greased up, making obscene gestures, and avoiding arrest just MAYBE should expect BAD things to happen to him.

And I'm retarded...

You're the same kind of guy that would condemn the cops if this guy turned, attacked a student, and fled where there was an opportunity to stop him before there was any harm. This is the typical reaction of people that aren't in a situation (never have been and spend their lives avoiding such responsibility) but just love to second guess authority figures who, unlike yourself, actually have to make decisions in these situations.

Oh, and cowboy, it isn't your interent.
posted by Muddler at 3:51 PM on January 31, 2007


Further proof he's an idiot -

He seems to have tried to remove comments he made about the incident from his website, and as one user stated, probably due to advice from counsel.

Unfortunately, since he wasn't creative enough to design his website using anything but the standard wiki format, all changes are visible by looking at the diffs. This is not to mention the Internet Archive.

He seems completely unharmed, and bragging...
posted by Muddler at 4:05 PM on January 31, 2007


Muddler writes "What would you do if some crazy, naked, lubed-up guy came screaming into your school or workplace"

Depends. Is he cute?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 5:08 PM on January 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


Muddler: You're the same kind of guy that would condemn the cops if this guy turned, attacked a student, and fled where there was an opportunity to stop him before there was any harm. This is the typical reaction of people that aren't in a situation (never have been and spend their lives avoiding such responsibility) but just love to second guess authority figures who, unlike yourself, actually have to make decisions in these situations.

Your strawman is retarded.

Ya know, "just to be safe" I'm gonna start tasering any cop that comes near me. I mean, it's non-lethal, he'll be fine when he stops twitching, it's better than shooting him, for goodness's sake, and I'm protected. Everybody wins!

Hell, I really should start tasering everybody. Just to be safe. Ya never know who might have a weapon, a bad attitude, or the urge to make "a sexual gesture" at me. There's no permanent damage, so it shouldn't even be considered assault, right?

Right?
posted by LordSludge at 9:44 PM on January 31, 2007


Since some here appear to be too full of themselves to understand the nature of my humor, let me explain:

The cop was wrong, which is why I called for him to be punished--However funny my suggested punishment may have been.

The cops are using tasers as a means to inflict sumary corporal punishment on those they dislike, whether real non-compliance is taking place, or not.

This isn't something I consider acceptable in "The Land of the Free", or any other civilized country. This is entirely apart from the level of real danger posed by a taser.

Tasers are real easy to use. Usually non-lethal. This just makes it too easy for the cops to act now, justify latter. Cops are not public masters. They are public servants. If they don't like that little fact, they can find another job. I hear McDonalds is always hiring.
posted by Goofyy at 12:07 AM on February 1, 2007


This isn't something I consider acceptable in "The Land of the Free", or any other civilized country.

Haha! You say that as if America was still civilised. You're not in the club anymore, didn't you get the memo?
posted by The Monkey at 2:06 AM on February 1, 2007


"the great wave of naked, unarmed stabbings

You mean sex?"

Hah!

As for Muddler, LordSludge already wrote my reply.
posted by klangklangston at 6:16 AM on February 1, 2007


I should probably temper my previous posts a bit; it's not like I'm sitting here fuming over this. I completely see the humor in the situation, at least in concept if not in actuality. I mean, naked greased up deaf bearded guys and tasers go together like peanut butter and jelly, at least in the humor department.

The rest -- cops using tasers to facilitate abuse of authority -- it's just simmerin on the back burner. (But there are a few particular cops in my past that I'd pay good money to taser.)

And I really do want to see this on Family Guy.
posted by LordSludge at 7:00 AM on February 1, 2007


So, if you would shoot to kill a kid committing an obviously stupid prank, then I guess a taser does seem reasonable.

Just wanted to repeat that.

For anyone who doesn't see what's really, really wrong with this, enjoy your slide in to a police state.

Yeah, I'm being strident. If you don't like it, TASER me, I guess.
posted by poweredbybeard at 10:18 AM on February 2, 2007


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