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That better be a Trekkie you're dating!
January 31, 2007 12:15 PM   Subscribe

According to a recent Zogby poll, parents would rather their daughter meet a date at a bar or a Star Trek convention than through online dating.
posted by Afroblanco (44 comments total)

 
In other words, they'd rather they meet face to face. Or do you have something against bikers and Trekkies?
posted by billysumday at 12:20 PM on January 31, 2007


The article rather misleadingly asserts that mom and pop would rather their daughter met someone at a biker bar, but if you read more, you see that apparently it's just "someone met at a bar", not specifically a biker bar.

Still, I agree with the sentiment. Meet 'em in person.

/old guy
posted by Mister_A at 12:23 PM on January 31, 2007


I would totally date and marry a woman I met at a science fiction convention.

In fact, I did.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:25 PM on January 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Both of my roommates (both 26-27, straight, male, NYC-residing, attractive, socially-capable people, i.e., socially typed as "normal") are dating women they met on the internets. Not only that, I'm pretty sure at least one of the two couples will get married and have babies by next month. This (internet dating) is a new development in my social circle. Although so is babies.
posted by taliaferro at 12:27 PM on January 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


According to the parent (me) of a recent daughter, I would absolutely rather she met a date in the physical world rather than the internet, but I also realize that my thoughts on the matter will be quaintly archaic at best by the time it's an issue.
posted by lekvar at 12:28 PM on January 31, 2007


get married and have babies by next month

They're not wasting any time, I see.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:29 PM on January 31, 2007


biker bar, trekkie convention, online: all as bad as each other.
posted by dydecker at 12:29 PM on January 31, 2007


I met my wife online, but will only allow my future children to date through alternative weekly ads.
posted by drezdn at 12:32 PM on January 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


taliaferro, are your friends rodents or what? That's not much time for gestation.

And Faint of Butt, c'mon, a woman at a science fiction convention? It strains credulity.
posted by Mister_A at 12:32 PM on January 31, 2007


No, they are wasting no time. She's doing an excellent job of hiding the pregnancy, I must say. But I'm firmly convinced that it will happen.
posted by taliaferro at 12:33 PM on January 31, 2007


My wife had a baby only one month after we got married; 'twas a miracle I tell ye!
posted by Mister_A at 12:34 PM on January 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


For the record, I'll state that I have absolutely nothing against online dating. In fact, I think that, in some ways, it is better/safer then meeting in person, since it gives the dater the chance to "filter" their potential mates. My guess is that the parental prejudice against online dating has to do with a lack of familiarity.
posted by Afroblanco at 12:36 PM on January 31, 2007


Wait until their daughters are 31 and still single. Then they will happily embrace, nay, encourage them to pursue online dating. Trust me.
posted by amro at 12:37 PM on January 31, 2007


"parents would rather their daughter meet a date at a biker bar or a Star Trek convention" and after that only date online?
posted by Merlin at 12:42 PM on January 31, 2007


Bar vs. internet doesn't make any difference. Good people use both. I've often had friends opine that they're unlikely to meet someone nice in a bar - often while they themselves are in a bar. Merely pointing out that fact ("Well, YOU'RE in here, right?") is enough to illustrate the point. Same goes with teh interwebs. It's no longer just a geekfest out there.

Crack alleys, however, are not babe magnets.
posted by jimmythefish at 12:45 PM on January 31, 2007


lekvar, that assumes that the path between online dating and marriage does not include some phase of courtship and interaction in 'the physical world' ... though, perhaps, as a parent, imagining a phase of 'physical interaction' involving your daughter might be psychologically scarring.

All the same, it's not like internet dating sites have a "Marry Now" button ... unless, of course, said site involves candidates from the Philippines or Romania.
posted by bl1nk at 12:48 PM on January 31, 2007


Just hours ago I had a discussion in one of my classes about this very topic. The parents in this poll have nothing to fear--my 18-24 year-old college students were thoroughly creeped out by the idea of online dating. They all said they preferred meeting a prospective date f2f. And why not--they're surrounded by a pool of potential mates every day, they don't have problems finding people to date. But as several of them noted, it's their older siblings and (divorced) parents who are using online personals, match.com, and all the rest of the online dating services.

BTW, lots of women go to science fiction conventions, myself included.
posted by DiscourseMarker at 12:52 PM on January 31, 2007


Define "meet". My GF and I found each other online but met in person.
posted by JJ86 at 12:53 PM on January 31, 2007


There's creepy people everywhere: bars, conventions, the internet.
There's nice people at all of those places, too.
For me the internet was easier than hanging out in bars,
so that's how I got my sweetie.
My parents are both fine with this. And not because they're scared I'm going to be an old maid, either.
I'm 25, and marriage was never pushed as a life goal in my house when i was growing up.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 12:57 PM on January 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Of course they do. All parents want their children to find that special someone to Klingon to forever.

Or until the Organian Peace Treaty collapses. Whichever comes first.

(Hah! And I managed to avoid any mention whatsoever of Uranus.)

Oops.
posted by Mike D at 12:58 PM on January 31, 2007


Haven't they heard? Nowadays bikers are all respectable professionals. (Whew, that's a relief.) Not to mention comfortably well-to-do. Most new Harleys cost upwards of $11,000.
posted by scratch at 1:11 PM on January 31, 2007


the parental prejudice against online dating has to do with a lack of familiarity.

Agreed.

it's their older siblings and (divorced) parents who are using online personals, match.com, and all the rest of the online dating services

Also agreed. I'm in my 30s and have used dating sites. Geez, there's just an efficiency to it! I'm a busy person, and I don't meet a lot of eligible people in my line of work or in my social scene. At least online, you know everyone's actually available and looking (+/- a few skeevy married trollers), saving you a lot of time wading through the real world where the majority of people in their 30s are already linked.
posted by Miko at 1:12 PM on January 31, 2007


I don't think it has to be a dichotomy. As people have mentioned, online dating has become a legitimate place to meet good, decent people, no longer the haven of child-raping serial killers...apparently. But, even so, given a choice I still think it's better to meet face to face. There's more to a person that just pure conversation, and physically seeing someone can convey a lot that can't be done through other, more filtered mediums. I don't think it's just old-fogeyism behind this.
posted by Sangermaine at 1:17 PM on January 31, 2007


The premise is flawed. Like there'd be a woman at a Star Trek convention.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 1:35 PM on January 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


(i'd go to a star trek convention, if someone would go with me.)
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 1:37 PM on January 31, 2007


I'm trying to understand the dichotomy here -- wouldn't the concerns over online dating and meeting someone with eccentric interests be somewhat orthogonal?
posted by elvolio at 1:59 PM on January 31, 2007


GEM, want me to send contact info? I'm a few hours east of you on 70 and haven't been to one in a good long while.

I love it when teenage geekettes in Klingon makeup me...it's adorable!
posted by pax digita at 2:05 PM on January 31, 2007


given a choice

Well, you don't really get a choice in dating, exactly. In cold numbers, you're trying to maximize your pool of contacts in the hope of increasing the odds of finding a good match. Choosing one system (face to face vs. online) to the exclusion of the other reduces the overall likelihood that you'll find someone good.

Anyway, what most people mean by 'online dating' is really 'online introduction' or plain old acquaintance-making. It's somewhat akin to having a friend set you up, only you do the screening yourself. If you think there's anything to it, you make an effort to meet ASAP so you can get a sense of those indeterminable qualities before proceeding.
posted by Miko at 2:20 PM on January 31, 2007


The premise is flawed. Like there'd be a woman at a Star Trek convention.

But Star Trek has promised us that in the future, women will all look like Seven of Nine and will be cheap and plentiful!
posted by Midnight Creeper at 2:23 PM on January 31, 2007


(i dunno. maybe?)
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 2:40 PM on January 31, 2007


Lots of girls come to con, it's a great place to meet geeks of all flavors.
posted by Tenuki at 2:52 PM on January 31, 2007


Lots of girls come to con

And to pillage, rob, and maim.
posted by four panels at 3:04 PM on January 31, 2007


There's creepy people everywhere: bars, conventions, the internet.
There's nice people at all of those places, too.
For me the internet was easier than hanging out in bars,
so that's how I got my sweetie.
My parents are both fine with this. And not because they're scared I'm going to be an old maid, either.
I'm 25, and marriage was never pushed as a life goal in my house when i was growing up.


Did your mom get scared and say you're moving in with your auntie and uncle in bel air? Did you whistle for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror? If anything, could you say that this cab was rare, or did you forget it and say 'Yo homes, to bel air!'. Did you pull up to the house around 7 or 8, and tell the cab driver you would sense his odor later? Then you looked at your kingdom, right, because you were finally there, to sit on your throne as the prince of belair?

LOL BELAIR'D
posted by jake3456 at 3:34 PM on January 31, 2007


I've actually heard pretty good things about some online dating sites. I have several friends who, while not procreating as quickly as some mentioned above, seem to be moving along very happily. Baffles me, but hey, if it works.

And plenty of women go to geeky conventions, ST or otherwise. Heck, thats what kept all of us nerdly folks going! The opportunity to actually MEET and perhaps *gasp* TALK to a real living geek-girl (we had heard they simply myths).

A brief anecdote: years back, a friends very pretty sort of Goth-Geek GF came with us to a some con somewhere and she made like $100 by just willing to stand and have her picture taken with various lonely nerds. Pathetic I know, and probably larcenous, but it bought us all breakfast at Denny's on the long ride home.
posted by elendil71 at 3:44 PM on January 31, 2007


I met my live-in GF on myspace and contemptuously air this 'dirty laundry' whilst cocktailing it with DC's jeunesse doree. They're sooo 90's...
posted by Dr.James.Orin.Incandenza at 3:53 PM on January 31, 2007


I'm trying to understand the dichotomy here -- wouldn't the concerns over online dating and meeting someone with eccentric interests be somewhat orthogonal?

Is that, like, tentacle sex?
posted by hal9k at 4:26 PM on January 31, 2007


Did your mom get scared and say you're moving in with your auntie and uncle in bel air...

unfortunately, no.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 4:29 PM on January 31, 2007


I met my first wife at a biker bar in Montana. I was the bass player in town for a week, on the last date of a doomed tour. She was the babe. And owned a car. That was 23 years ago.

Still, you have to live with the times. If she messes up, I'll try the online dating thing.
posted by hal9k at 4:31 PM on January 31, 2007


I know a chick who got laid at a star trek convention. by a klingon. He didn't keep his ridges on. She said this was a disappointment.
posted by jonmc at 4:37 PM on January 31, 2007


GEM -- I guess I can't -- there's no E address listed on your page.

Soonest con that's anywhere close is the one in Columbus, OH, in July; may not suit you. But if it does and/or you're curious, I've got an email address you can play with on mine...see profile.
posted by pax digita at 5:55 PM on January 31, 2007


Well yeah, have you seen how many atheists there are online?
posted by revgeorge at 6:53 PM on January 31, 2007


Someone should tell these parents that online dating is way safer than cruising the bars. After all, if you meet a weirdo in a bar, can be hard to get away quietly/politely, and then you've got to be careful they don't find out where you live. If you meet a weirdo online, you just delete their messages. Plus online dating is far less random - you've got more tools at your disposal to find someone you're likely to click with.

/met my husband online
/just celebrated fourth anniversary
posted by Zinger at 9:17 PM on January 31, 2007


I met my partner on-line, on irc, 10 years ago. I suppose it's a bit different for 2 guys, but no reason it has to be.

I strongly recommend anyone searching the internet for a partner meet in the meat as soon after meeting online as possible. When you spend much time just on-line w/someone, you build an idea in your mind of what they're like. That almost certainly will part with reality, and create difficulty when you do meet in meatspace.

Funny thing is, I invited my now-partner to stay with me a few days, then was all worried he might prove to be boring and/or too weird. LOL! When I pulled up to pick him up at the train station (Long Island), I was totally dazzled, and have remained so the entire time since.
posted by Goofyy at 11:29 PM on January 31, 2007


I met her at a Star Wars convention.
Did I mention she was looking for love?

posted by sparkletone at 5:32 AM on February 1, 2007


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