Comments on: The coming of Jizzus

The coming of Jizzus

mock — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 16:38:28 -0800

Scene 3: Jizzus in the temple. The world truly needs more faith based porn. What better way to bring the story of jesus to the sinners?
(all links NSFW)

By: mock

mock — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 16:41:32 -0800

And if you happen to be in Vancouver, there's a meetup tonight.

By: Brittanie

Brittanie — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 16:41:34 -0800

From the "Jesus" link: "These two nutty kids are demons in the sack." Ha!

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 16:43:34 -0800

"The set inaudibly gasped in awe of the filthy magnificence of Maya, as she purposefully coughed her urine back up over her own face, and drank it down like it was lemonade on an August afternoon." Poetry. Pure poetry.

By: matteo

matteo — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 16:46:06 -0800

it's a good idea, but aren't the production values a bit too low -- no-budget porn always looks kind of grody to me? and condoms are a big anachronism in 30 CE

By: Brittanie

Brittanie — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 16:48:56 -0800

"and condoms are a big anachronism in 30 CE" Hello? Lambskin!

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 16:49:03 -0800

LOL XXXIANS

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 16:51:16 -0800

And if you happen to be in Vancouver, there's a meetup tonight. Oh, to be a Vancouverite tonight.

By: malaprohibita

malaprohibita — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 17:21:35 -0800

Oh my. Porn is weird enough, but this....

By: skammer

skammer — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 17:46:42 -0800

I've, er, seen my share of porn, but this was the first behind-the-scenes blog account I've ever read (I'm sure there are plenty out there if I'd ever looked.) Jizzus aside, I was fascinated by the on-set details of what goes into a lo-budg porn production -- by (sorta)first-timers, no less. (I work in "non-porn" lo-budget film production, so the parallels are interesting.) I hardly noticed the religious element, and doubt that it would be found offensive (by anybody who didn't already find porn offensive.) Thanks, great read! (MetaFilter: I read it for the articles, I swear)

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 17:51:47 -0800

Hot diggity. Jesus--ahem, Jizzus--is hot like fuck.

By: mock

mock — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 17:57:03 -0800

I believe his contact details are posted. Maybe you can hire him for your own production.

By: pax digita

pax digita — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 18:08:05 -0800

I understand that for folx of the Hebrew persuasion, there's an Old Testament-oriented version too: "Let My People Come!"

By: mazatec

mazatec — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 18:12:27 -0800

Wow, I've never really seen a behind-the-scenes blog about porn production either. The crew seems really close and friendly, actually... I always figured the guys shooting porn would be kinda creepy. (I don't know why I think that; it's not like I have anything against porn, it just seems like that would be the case.)

By: four panels

four panels — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 18:18:06 -0800

Rollicking in the land of herpes and gonorrhea.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 18:31:35 -0800

Wait until the scene where he throws the gender-changers out of the temple. It's epic.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 18:40:51 -0800

A decent look behind the scenes of zero-budget porn but kind of unsatisfying in terms of creativity. Like scammer said, the religious element really is neglible. The dead girl and the pee/wine shtick were okay, but they could have done so much more and gone so much further with it. As it is, it feels as though someone made a Jizzus pun while taking bong hits and they thought that and some fake beards were enough.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 18:43:50 -0800

I couldn't bear to look. Did they at least get a circumcised male to portray the lead? He did follow strict Mosaic law.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 19:23:26 -0800

No they didn't. Hooray!

By: Cyrano

Cyrano — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 20:11:31 -0800

You know those charts, the stock market-looking ones, that go up and down and up and down through time? And then they throw in arrows with little annotations to tell you what events happened along the way? "Good Thing Good!" "Bad Thing Baaad!!!" In the far off future, when people/aliens are looking at the same kinds of charts, I think there's going to be an arrow pointing to, "Post of A Livejournal Showing A Picture of Teabagging on Metafilter."

By: ook

ook — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 20:17:37 -0800

Yes, but will that be a high or a low on the chart?

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 20:28:11 -0800

Do you really need to ask?

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 20:33:08 -0800

Years ago, I attempted to write a play called Bad Nun, about a nun who was having obscene visions of Jesus and his disciples. In one of her visions, Mary Magdalene fellates Jesus on the cross while Peter looks on, crying out, amazed, "He is risen!" This stuff is bush league.

By: Brittanie

Brittanie — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 20:45:56 -0800

This stuff is bush league. Ahem. Pun intended?

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 21:54:54 -0800

I think there's going to be an arrow pointing to, "Post of A Livejournal Showing A Picture of Teabagging on Metafilter." Right next to an arrow pointing to Regis & Kelly.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 23:20:22 -0800

I hear there are openings for Jesus' fluffer.

By: afu

afu — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 00:17:39 -0800

jesus could definltly pull some hotter chicks than those.

By: mkb

mkb — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 06:22:30 -0800

I find it endearing that all the female crew is topless for the shoot. Is that solidarity? /rose-colored glasses

By: Zero Gravitas

Zero Gravitas — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 08:14:47 -0800

The jism of Christ compels you! The jism of Christ compels you!!

By: creeptick

creeptick — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 08:58:57 -0800

afu: two words - wine goggles. Zero Gravitas: keeerist.. (made me laugh tho).

By: Sparx

Sparx — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 12:46:32 -0800

Ah. The Passion of the Christ. He is risen! But Metafilter is still only $5 bucks.

By: chrominance

chrominance — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 14:38:37 -0800

I find it endearing that all the female crew is topless for the shoot. Is that solidarity? Well, seeing as how one of them's the director, probably. (Though I did note that the whole "everyone's topless!" thing works out way better for the guys...)

By: carsonb

carsonb — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 20:32:10 -0800

I find it endearing that all the female crew is topless for the shoot. Is that solidarity? It was mentioned in two of the links above that the set was strictly topless. You know, in the text.