Agent ZigZag

February 15, 2007 5:26 AM

James Bond eat your heart out - the name's Chapman, Eddie Chapman. A German spy who was awarded the Iron Cross and a yacht. A British spy who probably saved vast chunks of London from bombs. But above all, a conman with a penchant for "prostitutes, cognac, gambling, Savile Row tailoring and fast cars" according to his spymasters (warning - PDF). Read the book. Or the other book. Or see the biopic he reportedly didn't like. He died aged 83, in case you're wondering.
posted by MuffinMan (12 comments total)

I like this quote from an MI5 officer: Chapman loved himself, loved adventure and loved his country, probably in that order.
posted by Pendragon at 5:41 AM on February 15, 2007

James Bond could eat his heart out, motherfucker. He could tear it our of his chest and eat it raw, and then enjoy a nice side dish of avocado pear with French dressing and a carafe of vodka. Afterward, without anyone knowing his heart was gone, he could kill a dozen agents from SMERSH while simultaneously bedding down two blonds, a brunette, and one girl whose hair color we don't know, because she's always dressed in those 60s outfits by Pierre Cardin that look like some sort of silver space suit with a hood and big buglike goggles, and while doing so, heartlessly, Bond is always quipping, quipping, quipping.

He was just that cool.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:24 AM on February 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

James Bond was, indeed, that cool - but Chuck Norris would own him.

Thanks MuffinMan. Good read. And, I now know what louche means.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 6:28 AM on February 15, 2007

but Chuck Norris would own him.

Surely you aren't referring to Sean Connery as Bond? Cause Chuck Norris is to Sean Connery as Kenny G is to John Coltrane.

And Sean Connery was never seen in the Christian Area.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:40 AM on February 15, 2007

But the restless Chapman Jimmythefish courted contradiction as keenly as he embraced adventure. Inside the traitor lay a patriot; inside the villain, a man of conscience. The problem for Chapman Jimmythefish, his spymasters and his many lovers was to know where one ended and the other began
posted by jimmythefish at 6:44 AM on February 15, 2007

flapjax:

Joke.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 6:52 AM on February 15, 2007

Yeah? Moe Berg played for the Cards and the White Sox! What did Chapman play? Penuckle?
posted by Smart Dalek at 6:58 AM on February 15, 2007

Benny:

Hey, no sweat, I figured it must've been! I was just glad to have a chance to link to the Christian Area.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:02 AM on February 15, 2007

Oh no you di'nt dis Sean Connery. Nuh uh! Don't you DARE dis my wetsuit-clad Bond fantasy!
Gotta admit, i unexpectedly found Daniel Craig a pretty hot Bond tho. I liked that he was less metrosexual. (And defibrillating his own heart? Damn. That's hardcore.)
posted by miss lynnster at 9:25 AM on February 15, 2007

That was enjoyable. And the Wikipedia article is unusually artful. I like this quote:
Immediately before his arrest, he had been dining with his lover, Betty Farmer at the Hotel du Plage and made a spectaular exit through the dining room window (which was shut at the time), when he saw undercover Police coming to arrest him for crimes on the mainland.
posted by serazin at 10:25 AM on February 15, 2007

Ha, I see your Eddie Chapman and raise you one Sidney Reilly, né Shlomo Rosenblum, spy to four countries and also a known template for Bond through firsthand stories told to Ian Fleming through a mutual good friend.

Something I just noticed in Reilly's wikipedia bio: one of the witnesses to his extremely sketchy first marriage (to a woman whose husband had just died), in London, was Joseph Bell. I don't suppose it could have been the same Joseph Bell who famously inspired Arthur Conan Doyle...? If so, then Reilly could also have been a template for Sherlock Holmes...or Moriarty...
posted by Asparagirl at 11:35 AM on February 15, 2007

More on Sidney Reilly, chez MeFi.
posted by BLDGBLOG at 2:01 PM on February 16, 2007