Holding out for a hero

February 16, 2007 6:09 PM

The world is never as perfect as we wish it was. When injustice strikes, everyone wishes they had a hero to turn to... so some people take the direct route and become a superhero themselves. Meet Captain Ozone, Angle Grinder Man, Super Hero Monkey, Zora the Wonder Woman, Superbarrio, Polarman, Terrifica The Anti-Cupid, and the team of Tothian, Squeegee Man and Dark Guardian.

What superhero would you be? What would you fight against? What would your superpowers be? Can't decide? Well, here's a quiz.
posted by miss lynnster (53 comments total)

Whupps, just noticed that Polarman is mentioned in the 18th paragraph or so in the article on his link. Some of the others are mentioned in that article above him though.
posted by miss lynnster at 6:13 PM on February 16, 2007

Geez. And I forgot to include the most obvious link of all... Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co.
posted by miss lynnster at 6:19 PM on February 16, 2007

I'm a superhero in real life, but on MeFi I use my secret identity as Devil Hunter Yohko.
posted by yohko at 6:24 PM on February 16, 2007

According to the quiz results:

You are Spider-Man You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Darn, I want to be Wonder Woman!
posted by amyms at 6:40 PM on February 16, 2007

Flight or invisibility?
posted by lekvar at 6:42 PM on February 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

I want to be the landlord in Kung Fu Hustle.
posted by homunculus at 6:50 PM on February 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Catwoman? God damnit.
posted by bob sarabia at 6:53 PM on February 16, 2007

Here kitty kitty kitty!
posted by lekvar at 6:55 PM on February 16, 2007

Super Kitty plays piano.
posted by homunculus at 7:01 PM on February 16, 2007

So, is the piano playing cat the new elephants pissing?

Spiderman? You know, I kinda dug the landlord's daughter who was trying to win his affection in the movie. So, sure.
posted by maxwelton at 7:29 PM on February 16, 2007

Equal parts Iron Man and Hulk.

Holy shit, I'm awesome.

Either that, or this is a mental health test masquerading as a superhero test, in which case: holy shit, I have serious issues.
posted by logicpunk at 7:30 PM on February 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

I would be Awesome Man.
posted by Mikey-San at 7:40 PM on February 16, 2007

The Gov't Manual for New Superheroes (and its accompanying site, the first link in the FPP) are projects from MeFi's own yankeefog. Both are also pretty funny.
posted by kyleg at 7:42 PM on February 16, 2007

I wanna be Son Goku. Kamehameha!
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 7:52 PM on February 16, 2007

I'm the Hulk! I can't wait to tell my boyfriend!
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 7:55 PM on February 16, 2007

75% Hulk.
33% Supergirl.

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. *bursts into tears*
posted by dreamsign at 8:09 PM on February 16, 2007 [2 favorites]

I was 80% Spider-man and also 80% Superman. That doesn't seem right. They're not even remotely the same hero.

The redhead question might have tilted it, though.
posted by Cyrano at 8:17 PM on February 16, 2007

I wonder if The Big O is still running around London. He sounds like a fun date...
posted by miss lynnster at 8:31 PM on February 16, 2007

The Hulk! I'm pretty damn cool.
posted by 6550 at 8:41 PM on February 16, 2007

95% Iron Man.

I am ...Iron Man (POWERCHORD!!!).

Thank god. I was trying really hard not to be Spiderman. I really fucking hate Spiderman. Peter Parker is a fucking loser.
posted by daq at 8:48 PM on February 16, 2007

Cyrano, I was 75% on both of those (Spider-man and Superman). Must be the inner sadness/lonlineness or something. Or maybe it's just the super strength and the colour red.
posted by Kickstart70 at 8:53 PM on February 16, 2007

68% Supergirl.
65% Superman.
I think it's the hair.
posted by reventlov at 8:55 PM on February 16, 2007

I imagine I'm not superhero material just by nature of my numbers. My highest number was 65% (Hulk/The Flash/Spiderman tie) and my lowest number was 40% (Catwoman), with 11 total superheroes in the range.

I'm thinking an average of all of those superheroes is just that: I'm an averagehero.
posted by Brak at 9:05 PM on February 16, 2007

That's weird. I'm 100% wonder woman and 100% super girl. How is that possible?
posted by cytherea at 9:14 PM on February 16, 2007

How did you all get percentages on yours? My only result was Spiderman! *sob*
posted by amyms at 9:16 PM on February 16, 2007

100% Iron Man
Maybe I should actually read one of those.
posted by SAC at 9:18 PM on February 16, 2007

Well, at least I'll have a killer rack. *meow*
posted by bob sarabia at 9:20 PM on February 16, 2007

That's weird. I'm 100% wonder woman and 100% super girl. How is that possible?

I don't know, but evidentally you're more woman than any one man can handle.
posted by davejay at 10:06 PM on February 16, 2007

Stupid fricking Spider-Man... those redheads'll be the undoing of me.

I've always thought of myself as a Guy Gardner crossed with John Constantine and a soupcon of Squirrel Girl, myself.

Or Harvey Pekar, without the jazz music.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:07 PM on February 16, 2007

"What superhero would you be?"

Would be? I am Smedleyman!

(I've always thought Letterman from the Electric Company would be a great superhero to be)
posted by Smedleyman at 10:26 PM on February 16, 2007

Superhero Generator
posted by amyms at 10:27 PM on February 16, 2007

Don't miss Fray Tormenta, the socially-engaged superhero that inspired Nacho Libre. Real Life Superheroes are fascinating creatures. (80% Robin, 75% Hulk)
posted by carsonb at 10:51 PM on February 16, 2007

(as a villain I'm Doctor Doom...yeah, go figure)
posted by Smedleyman at 10:55 PM on February 16, 2007

Previously.
posted by luftmensch at 11:33 PM on February 16, 2007

HULK SMASH!!! or as a villian Impudent Gnat!
posted by Grimgrin at 11:41 PM on February 16, 2007

Spider-Man 100%
Catwoman 65%
Superman 55%
Wonder Woman 50%

Finally, a quiz I can trust.
posted by Superfrankenstein at 12:27 AM on February 17, 2007

Bicycle repair man
posted by DreamerFi at 1:59 AM on February 17, 2007

I wonder if The Big O is still running around London?

Hmm. Says in that link that The Big O operates in Tunbridge Wells.
Tunbridge Wells is in Kent.
Angle Grinder Man also lives in Kent.

The Big O = Angle Grinder Man?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:17 AM on February 17, 2007

Supergirl 62%
Spider-Man 60%
Robin 57%
Well, now, I'm just going to go home to my cave, sweep out the webs, and, what, brush out my silky super hair, I guess. Sheesh.
posted by Wolfdog at 6:17 AM on February 17, 2007

Some of the articles above, which might be overlooked in favor of a fun quiz, are kinda interesting. Terrifica sounds a bit overwrought, poor girl. Superbarrio sounded interesting but the intro text was on the link was incomprehensible (and I'm a professional academic). I liked the last link best probably although it was brief. It seemed to be three guys who really wanted to do good deeds and really wanted to be superheroes. Not because they want to beat up people they don't like, which is the primary motivation behind being a superhero (and hey, I feel it, too), but because they have a dorky belief in doing good. I think.

Anyway, on the quiz I got Green Lantern (80) Flash (80) and Spider-Man (60). I can assure you I'm not a DC hero. I would basically identify with Spider-Man minus the childhood tragedy. Or I could identify with the Human Torch minus the popularity. My supervillain results were a bit more accurate with Apocalypse, Dr Doom and Magneto all getting pretty much equal scores. I would definitely be a self-righteous doin-it-for-the-kidz villain. Can't you see I'm just keepin' my Latverians safe?!
posted by Slothrop at 6:44 AM on February 17, 2007

Superman 70%
Green Lantern 65%
Supergirl 65%
The Flash 55%

Just what I like--a definitive answer.
posted by fuse theorem at 6:44 AM on February 17, 2007

Spider-Man 85%
The Flash 75%
Green Lantern 65%
Superman 65%
Supergirl 60%
Robin 55%
Hulk 55%
Batman 55%
Wonder Woman 45%
Catwoman 40%
Iron Man 30%


Sigh. I was hoping for Catwoman.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:22 AM on February 17, 2007

Angle Grinder Man's site is down, poor guy. But he's been discussed here before.

There's also, inevitably, the Wikipedia entry on real-life superheroes.
posted by ardgedee at 7:36 AM on February 17, 2007

hey, bob, i'll trade you my Hulk for your Catwoman?
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 8:56 AM on February 17, 2007

you forgot the underdog lady
posted by onkelchrispy at 9:20 AM on February 17, 2007

Evidently I'm Spider-Man. I was hoping for Super Grover.
posted by brundlefly at 9:44 AM on February 17, 2007

Anybody remember Super Goof and his magic peanuts? Or am I just old? On second thought, don't answer that...
posted by miss lynnster at 10:27 AM on February 17, 2007

85% Flash Here...fast, athletic, and flirtatious!

But if you'd rather make your own hero, there's always:

The Hero Machine.
posted by mapalm at 11:28 AM on February 17, 2007

I am Obscure Reference Man!!! Oh no, wait...

75% Spiderman
70% Flash

(And all the good references have been taken. My powers must be fading...)
posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 12:28 PM on February 17, 2007

75% SpiderMan, 80% Kaylee Frye. I guess it's the geek in me.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 2:05 PM on February 17, 2007

Oh great, I'm 80% Boone from Lost. And he's dead. Thank God I'm also 70% Daniel Craig/Sean Connery. Awesome! (If I ended up finding out I was George Lazenby I'd have to be really depressed right now...)
posted by miss lynnster at 3:43 PM on February 17, 2007

The Age described Polarman of Iqaluit, Canada, whose primary interests are shoveling the snow off of sidewalks during the day, and patrolling the streets for criminals at night.

Ha -- I love that.
posted by dreamsign at 10:45 PM on February 17, 2007

My favorite superhero is still Captain Vegetable. With his carrot and his celery!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 1:12 PM on February 18, 2007