And half of Iraq, the western, northern portion of Iraq, is going to be called…. the Iraq State of Islam, something like that.

February 23, 2007 10:38 AM

Bachmann on Iran: “There’s already an agreement made. [Iran is] going to get half of Iraq and that is going to be a terrorist safe haven zone.” Claims made by Minnesota's freshman 6th district representative Michelle Bachmann during a taped interview. Bachmann is previously known for her compelling arguments in favor of intelligent design (YouTube), getting attacked in a Scanida bathroom, opposing same sex marriage, and, perhaps most famously, catching President Bush in an awesome death squeeze.
posted by Astro Zombie (60 comments total)

Allow me to be the first to remark that, as a Minnesota voter, I am ashamed to have this wack-job representing my fine state.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 10:43 AM on February 23, 2007

Is that "terrorist-safe haven zone" or "terrorist safe-haven zone"?
posted by exogenous at 10:46 AM on February 23, 2007

Terrorist safe haven-zone.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:47 AM on February 23, 2007

or "terrorist safe haven-zone"
posted by DU at 10:47 AM on February 23, 2007

Damn zombies and their undead posting speed
posted by DU at 10:47 AM on February 23, 2007

Its like you can't go a week with out an American leader saying something classic.
posted by chunking express at 10:49 AM on February 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

Its like you can't go a week with out an American leader saying something classic.
posted by chunking express at 10:49 AM on February 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

Bachmann is not a leader. She's a crackpot who got herself elected. There's a difference.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 10:51 AM on February 23, 2007

I have never been in the Presidential limousine before so I was a little unsure what to do when the limousine stopped at the custard stand. I wasn't sure if I should exit with the President or get out of my side of the car. Karl Rove told me I would exit out the door on my side after The President steps out and someone would open the door for me. I could not believe I was discussing what flavor of custard to order with the President of the United States!

hugging bush like he's Justin Timberlake and you're 13 == gross

sitting next to Karl Rove in an enclosed space for any period of time exceeding 1 nanosecond == way, way grosser
posted by contessa at 10:52 AM on February 23, 2007

What's up, Minnesota? I thought you guys were all smart and liberal and shit, but you elect people like this and Jesse Ventura.

Just a little joshin' with us or have you got the stupid?

Oh, and even though he's all liberal, don't go voting for Al Franken, okay dere?
posted by briank at 10:53 AM on February 23, 2007

Nice, you can have your picture taken with a cardboard cutout of Reagan playing pocket pool.
posted by NoMich at 10:53 AM on February 23, 2007

Apparently it is possible to get dumber and crazier than Coulter. Americia has reached a new low.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:54 AM on February 23, 2007

What's up, Minnesota?

Well, we did simultaneously elect Keith Ellison, the nation's first Muslim congressman.

We are large and contain crazy ass multitudes.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:55 AM on February 23, 2007

Apparently it is possible to get dumber and crazier than Coulter. Americia has reached a new low.

This hypothesis has already been tested and proven by the existence of Katherine Harris. Unfortunately, until now I thought she was an isolated case.
posted by contessa at 10:57 AM on February 23, 2007

Besides being monumentally unfunny, what's wrong with Al Franken?
posted by DU at 10:57 AM on February 23, 2007

Wait, are we talking Earth First!-type safe haven or Ducks Unlimited-style safe haven?
posted by oats at 10:59 AM on February 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

but you elect people like this and Jesse Ventura.

What's wrong with Jesse Ventura? I don't agree with him on everything, but he seems like an interesting guy. Certainly not a loon like this lady.
posted by brundlefly at 11:02 AM on February 23, 2007

Republican says something stupid, news at 11.
posted by empath at 11:03 AM on February 23, 2007

Man, I was already in favor of partition, "Iraq" is a total fiction to begin with, but crazy like this makes it even easier.

Hear that Michelle? In fact, I now favor cutting Iraq up into six different nations: one for Shiites, one for Sunnis, two for the Kurds (one for real and one just to piss off the Turks), one for the Chaldeans (that one's mainly to get fundy buy in), and one for everybody else (call it Misc.istan or something). HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 11:06 AM on February 23, 2007 [2 favorites]

Wow. Just wow.

The ironic thing is, the people with the strongest ideological and material ties to Iran (SCIRI and Dawa) are the major powers in the Iraqi government. al Sadr may be Shia, but he's nationalist, while the Sunnis are anti-Iranian.

The sickening thing is that people like this have power.
posted by graymouser at 11:07 AM on February 23, 2007

What's wrong with Jesse Ventura?

Ask Garrison Keillor, he'll tell you.


What's wrong with Al Franken?

Not only is he monumentally unfunny, he is monumentally unqualified. At least Jesse Ventura had been the mayor of some town. Being able to make fun of Republicans (sort of) is not a qualification for national office.
posted by briank at 11:07 AM on February 23, 2007

> And half of Iraq, the western, northern portion of Iraq, is going to be called…. the Iraq State of Islam, something like that.

This post has been a ray of sunshine on an otherwise cloudy day.
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:07 AM on February 23, 2007

1. Ventura was elected by ~1/3 of voters
2. Bachmann is from a conservative district
3. As mentioned MN also elected Ellison AND Ann Klobuchar who defeated that nutcase Mark Kennedy.
4) In 1984 we where the only state who voted against Regan.

5) yeah there are many conservatives here, but Bachmann is as wacky beyond normal conservatism.
posted by edgeways at 11:09 AM on February 23, 2007

Miscistan. I like that.
posted by odinsdream at 11:09 AM on February 23, 2007

and yeah, I'm totally voting for Franken. Not like qualifications mean shit nowadays.
posted by edgeways at 11:11 AM on February 23, 2007

In 1984 we where the only state who voted against Regan.

That's misleading. Reagan's opponent in 1984 was Walter Mondale, whose home state was Minnesota. It's not like the entire state decided to cast protest votes against Ronald Reagan.
posted by cribcage at 11:16 AM on February 23, 2007

Being able to make fun of Republicans (sort of) is not a qualification for national office.

You can say that again! Unfortunately!
posted by DU at 11:17 AM on February 23, 2007

Americia has reached a new low

Meanwhile, on the other end of the bell curve we all get to root for Justin Trudeau!
posted by CynicalKnight at 11:17 AM on February 23, 2007

Bachmann's platform (via her website) is also a hoot:

- Making President Bush's tax cuts permanent
- Personal tax rate reductions
- Permanent repeal of the Death Tax
- Further reduction of the Marriage Penalty Tax
- Elimination of the Alternative Minimum Tax
- Capital gains tax reduction
- Simplification of the tax code

Once y'all get this pesky paying-taxes thing taken care of, all of America's problems will be solved.
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:20 AM on February 23, 2007

Ah, the always beautiful eloquence of Michelle Bachmann ..... I feel sorry for you folks who live in the Sixth District.
posted by blucevalo at 11:25 AM on February 23, 2007

Not like qualifications mean shit nowadays.

Qualifications? What sort of qualifications are required for Senators? I see ignorant, hard-headed, corrupt Senators from nearly every state in the Union and someone is saying that Franken is unqualified?

I'd wager he knows more about America than at least 75% of current US Senators. I'd also wager he knows more about Minnesota than that import Norm Coleman.
posted by unixrat at 11:30 AM on February 23, 2007

I was listening to Rush Limbaugh on the way back from lunch today and he was reporting that Michelle Bachmann was a Democrat. He wasn't totally sure, but he thought it was because he can tell liberals just by looking at them. He was also playing it up as a reason to stay in Iraq, because if we don't then there is already a plan in place to turn it into Terroristan.
posted by ND¢ at 11:30 AM on February 23, 2007

On the bright side, Keith Ellison and Tim Walz have really been impressing me; I didn't really expect much from either, but both look like they have the potential to be unusually good legislators. And Bachmann at least gives us our best shot at a flamboyant MetaTalk-style congressional flameout. She'll be threatening to cut her own hand off on the House floor before 2007 is up, mark my words.
posted by COBRA! at 11:31 AM on February 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

Oh and Jesus Christ, some of the comments in the first link are fucking depressing.
posted by COBRA! at 11:33 AM on February 23, 2007

That's misleading. Reagan's opponent in 1984 was Walter Mondale, whose home state was Minnesota. It's not like the entire state decided to cast protest votes against Ronald Reagan.

They did better than Tennessee did in 2000.
posted by flarbuse at 11:34 AM on February 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

You can't blame Minnesota for Bachmann (the tags to this thread do not lie)...only her district. The state had two major disappointments in the last election-- the incumbent Governor Pawlenty barely squeaked by, and Bachmann. Aside from those two blunders, the state as a whole, like the rest of the country, dumped every Republican they could.

That woman is just crazy loco. It's just stunning somebody that detached from reality could win a congressional election.

Hilarious that Limbaugh thought she was a Dem. She's more right wing than he is...
posted by mcstayinskool at 11:36 AM on February 23, 2007

Crazy for feeling so lonely. . .
posted by EarBucket at 11:37 AM on February 23, 2007

and yeah, I'm totally voting for Franken. Not like qualifications mean shit nowadays.

Well there's your problem right there!

Qualifications? What sort of qualifications are required for Senators? I see ignorant, hard-headed, corrupt Senators from nearly every state in the Union and someone is saying that Franken is unqualified?

So is it your proposition that you should vote for Franken because he's just as corrupt, ignorant and hard-headed as the rest of them?

Here's the problem with electing political dilettantes: they don't know how to legislate. They know how to showboat, how to get attention, how to spout spin on the talk shows, but they don't know jack shit about legislation.

This is exactly how we've gotten stuck with such a bunch of morons in Washington right now, and why the decent ones keep retiring in droves.

At least with people like Bachmann, they last a couple of years and then get dumped, but senators last for six years at minimum.

So saying it's okay to vote for Franken because people don't care about finding and voting for qualified individuals is tautological at best and idiotic at worst.
posted by briank at 11:47 AM on February 23, 2007

Bachmann’s really turning in overdrive on this. She’s takin’ care of business. I don’t know if you would cry if I told you she lied and would you say goodbye or would you let it ride?
But we ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:55 AM on February 23, 2007 [3 favorites]

I can't understand why Bachmann is so against the same sex thing when she obviously loves her some bush.
posted by nofundy at 11:56 AM on February 23, 2007

(I don’t particularly like Franken’s show. And I’m not on board with all of his views, but he seems far more honest than nearly any politician I’ve heard speak. Critical - ‘cause you can argue/reason with a principled individual and perhaps come to some accord. A duplicitous person only paying lip service to a given body of thought there’s no dealing with)
posted by Smedleyman at 11:58 AM on February 23, 2007

Let
Me
Be
Clear,
Michelle
Bachmann
Is
A
Certifiable
Nut
Job.
posted by Muddler at 12:02 PM on February 23, 2007

So is it your proposition that you should vote for Franken because he's just as corrupt, ignorant and hard-headed as the rest of them?

Um, straw man much?
posted by pax digita at 12:14 PM on February 23, 2007

Oh, and Smedleyman...nice one!
posted by pax digita at 12:15 PM on February 23, 2007

See Bachmann is a perfect example for not electing qualified candidates, she's served at the State level legislator for years, worked on presidential campaigns, has a Juris Doctor, and despite all of this she is still a flake and a bit whacked out.

Cheney, Rumsfeld... and many many more in the current admin are SUPREAMILY qualified to hold office. They also seem to exhibit the morals of opportunistic rat-bastards. I would vote for my drunken local mayor over these people any day, despite qualifications.

Trouble with wanting qualifications is, who gets to decide what those are? Personally I consider someone smart, kind and perceptive to be infinitely more qualified to hold office then any number of degrees and time in office. I am not sold on the idea of professional politicians, yet that seems to be what people mean when they refer to qualified.

So, by MY definition of qualified I think Franken is qualified.
posted by edgeways at 12:17 PM on February 23, 2007

Man. I miss the happy, innocent, carefree days when we believed that if more women were elected, things would just naturally get saner and less militaristic.
posted by jokeefe at 12:21 PM on February 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

3. As mentioned MN also elected Ellison AND Ann Klobuchar who defeated that nutcase Mark Kennedy.

Is Ann Amy's sister? 'Cause I thought I voted for Amy.

I have never been in the Presidential limousine before so I was a little unsure what to do when the limousine stopped at the custard stand. I wasn't sure if I should exit with the President or get out of my side of the car. Karl Rove told me I would exit out the door on my side after The President steps out and someone would open the door for me. I could not believe I was discussing what flavor of custard to order with the President of the United States!

Ashamed, so ashamed...
posted by Mental Wimp at 12:25 PM on February 23, 2007

Bachmann's track record in the legislature reads like a parody of right-wing talk radio. She has introduced or signed onto bills that would make English the official state language, halt grants to clinics that perform abortions, make proof of citizenship a requirement at voting booths, and allow stillbirths to be officially designated as births by the state.

That's an odd item to fold into that list, especially alongside that last entry.

I think we should require ID at voting booths. I have to show ID to buy cigarettes, alcohol, and airplane tickets; but when election day rolls around, I just tell my name and address to a town official and she hands me a ballot. Nothing prevents me from giving my neighbor's name, or from driving to the next town and picking a name out of the phone book. Particularly in a country rife with election fraud where a sizable percentage of the populace believes the 2000 election was stolen, trusting ballot security to "the honor code" doesn't seem particularly wise.

It's hardly the sort of lunatic position that belongs sandwiched next to suggesting that stillbirths be recorded as citizens.
posted by cribcage at 12:27 PM on February 23, 2007

Darn! Why did this have to happen on Jon Stewart's week off?
posted by sea at 12:31 PM on February 23, 2007

I thought you guys were all smart and liberal and shit

Minnesota is very divided (and a recognized partisan battleground that both sides are very eager to get a firmer hold on), and we've got a classic urban/rural split. Minneapolis is a very liberal metro for the midwest, but there is a lot of deep conservatism in the suburbs and rural areas (I grew up in the latter)

Ventura's governorship is really a category unto itself, since he split the middle in a three way race where neither major party candidate ran a compelling campaign. Ventura ran a smart, funny campaign with several clever, well-placed TV ads. He leaned hard on the "no special interests" aspect in an election where there was a lot of sentiment against political insiders.

With Bachmann, I think there are redistricting issues that have made the sixth a harder race for a liberal, and I also think that unfortunately Patty Wetterling is just not a particularly compelling politician. I think we are going to need a fresh face, and somebody dynamic with a new message, to win back the sixth.

I'm going to wait and see on Franken. I don't think he by any stretch of the imagination has the nomination wrapped up. Experience isn't everything, but Coleman has developed into a very strong, savvy politician and it will take a strong candidate, running a hard, smart and probably nasty race, to unseat him. I don't know that Franken has the political chops to take him on but we'll see.
posted by nanojath at 12:41 PM on February 23, 2007

I have never been in the Presidential limousine before so I was a little unsure what to do when the limousine stopped at the custard stand.

I just wanted to pause the thread so we could all take a moment and enjoy that sentence.
posted by PlusDistance at 1:24 PM on February 23, 2007

Minnesota is very divided (and a recognized partisan battleground that both sides are very eager to get a firmer hold on), and we've got a classic urban/rural split. Minneapolis is a very liberal metro for the midwest, but there is a lot of deep conservatism in the suburbs and rural areas (I grew up in the latter)

We have exactly the same issue across the border (you know, the good looking side) here in Wisconsin. Everything on the southern end of the state, travelling between the Madison/Milwaukee corridor, is liberal. Everything else, and you're dangerously close to getting shot by a guy that thinks you're gay because you wore something other than a Land's End hunting jacket.

Russ Feingold's office is about 5 blocks away from where I live, and we just had a primary last week where we overwhelming re-nominated the incumbant Democratic mayor.

Last election, we kicked most of the wackos to the curb, but they managed to get the state to vote in the Gay Marriage ban and keep 3 Republican congresspeople in the house.
posted by thanotopsis at 2:43 PM on February 23, 2007

That's nothing when compared to the power of (then) Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien and his awesome Chrétien Clutch!
Of note, the victim, Bill Clennett, is now running in a provincial election.
posted by furtive at 3:26 PM on February 23, 2007

So is it your proposition that you should vote for Franken because he's just as corrupt, ignorant and hard-headed as the rest of them?

No one is saying that Franken is hard-headed, corrupt, or ignorant. They are saying that those things are worse then being unqualified.

Anyone who is reasonably smart can be a senator, and Franken seems to fit that qualification. The staffs are the ones who actually write the legislation, they just review it.

---

I think we should require ID at voting booths. I have to show ID to buy cigarettes, alcohol, and airplane tickets;

None of those things are fundamental rights.

Nothing prevents me from giving my neighbor's name, or from driving to the next town and picking a name out of the phone book.

They don't compare signatures? In most states, voter fraud is a felony, and if you did that, and were caught, you would probably go to jail. It's the risk of jail time that keeps people honest.

Particularly in a country rife with election fraud where a sizable percentage of the populace believes the 2000 election was stolen, trusting ballot security to "the honor code" doesn't seem particularly wise.

This country is not "rife" with people voting illegally, it almost never happens. Yet, thousands and thousands of people without driver's licenses are registered to vote. These people would be disenfranchised, thousands of others would be annoyed, all to satisfy the aesthetic sense of paranoid people, without solving any real (i.e. measurable) problems with the election system.
posted by delmoi at 4:08 PM on February 23, 2007

I heard a hilarious slip of the tongue on MPR a month or so ago, just after Ellison, McHell Bachmann and the others had taken office. One of the announcers said (remembering as best I can):

"Now, we'll hear from the representative from Minnesota's Sith dist -- er, Sixth district..."

That's how I refer to her now: McHell Bachmann, representative from Minnesota's Sith district. Darth Bachmann works, too.
posted by jiawen at 4:44 PM on February 23, 2007

U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann is declining to be interviewed about her statement that an agreement was in place to divide Iraq and create an Iranian-controlled terrorist safe haven there.

But she has issued a statement in which she says she’s “sorry if my words have been misconstrued.”
posted by ltracey at 5:08 PM on February 23, 2007

I see a long car ride involving a diaper in her future.
posted by notmydesk at 9:48 PM on February 23, 2007

Thank you, delmoi.
posted by jaronson at 9:50 PM on February 23, 2007

None of those things are fundamental rights.

True. Relevance?

They don't compare signatures?

No. There is no form to sign. You tell them your name and address; they find that name and address on their list and place a checkmark beside it, and then they hand you a ballot. You vote.

It's the risk of jail time that keeps people honest.

Google for "US prison statistics."

Yet, thousands and thousands of people without driver's licenses are registered to vote. These people would be disenfranchised...

I said "ID," you said "driver's licenses." If you've ever volunteered at a food bank, you know that plenty of people who don't drive or can't afford cars nonetheless carry valid ID.

I'm not going to debate the meaning of the word "rife," but you're right that there are more prevalent types of electoral fraud. That's not a valid reason to avoid fixing this problem, however, which is what Bachmann was apparently addressing.
posted by cribcage at 11:08 PM on February 23, 2007

Belatedly, I have to correct this: Minnesota didn't dump all the Republicans. Last I checked, Jim Ramstad and John Kline were still in Congress.

The redistricting didn't help--the 2nd District, for example, is mostly rural with a really odd bit of suburbs at the north, and its southern border is just slightly north of Rochester. It also didn't help that the Democrats ran incredibly weak candidates in the 2nd, 3rd, and 6th Districts, and only in the latter did the Democrat not have to run against an incumbent.
posted by Electric Elf at 12:14 AM on February 24, 2007