Baby You Can Drive My Car

February 23, 2007 11:33 PM

Drive Thru Church Service? Check. Drive Thru Wedding? Check. Drive Thru Funeral? Check. Drive Thru Strip Club? Huh? If you're too lazy or too tired to get out of your car, Fogonazos has a list of convenient drive-thrus for you.
posted by amyms (28 comments total)

Drive "thru" car crusher?
posted by mr. strange at 12:50 AM on February 24, 2007

Drive "thru" car crusher?

Here ya go, mr. strange... I'm not sure if you'd want to remain in your car for the actual crushing, though.
posted by amyms at 1:00 AM on February 24, 2007

An Orthodox priest I used to work with talked about buying an old bank building to use as his parish church -- he joked about using the drive-through lanes for "speed Eucharist." And I once taped a sign to our Lutheran church's minibus, which we used on Sundays go bring in the older shut-ins to worship: "Free Pickup And Deliverance."
posted by pax digita at 3:33 AM on February 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

In my city, a local church holds a drive-thru nativity for a weekend every December. The organizers rent camels and assorted livestock, dress up in elaborate costumes, and construct large sets in an empty lot behind a supermarket. The whole setup is a circular drive-thru (unlike the drive-in church referenced in the original post).

I'm not sure if this is common elsewhere, but growing up in Southern California, I remember my family occasionally buying items from drive-thru convenience stores (Alta Dena).
posted by rmannion at 4:16 AM on February 24, 2007

"Free Pickup And Deliverance."

That's cute, pax digita. Did the riders notice or comment?
posted by amyms at 4:26 AM on February 24, 2007

Well, the older genration seemed to appreciate it, but I think my (eventually-to-be-ex) wife and (ditto) MIL found out about it and found it embarrassing that, quel horreur!, husband/SIL was making jokes about church. I think the former administratively disappeared it before any of her friends saw it. Sigh.

Maybe the next Mrs. Pax will lighten up a little....

And amyms, I'll never forget the first time I saw a drive-thru beer store in Dallas. Kinda flew in the face of the general opprobrium toward drinking and driving...must be a Texas thang.
posted by pax digita at 5:50 AM on February 24, 2007

The first time I drove into the Canadian Rockies I passed through Wisconsin. There was a drive through liquor store kind of out in the middle of nowhere, the only reason for it's existence I could see was for travellers. Of course, also in Wisconsin we saw "The Long Haul" which advertised cold beer and made sure to "Welcome Truckers!". My impression was that Wisconsin cried out for an intervention.
posted by substrate at 5:50 AM on February 24, 2007

I drove by a topless oil-change drive-thru on my way to work back in the 80's in Des Moines, Iowa. I suspect it was the first of its kind. It was winter and the building looked like a former car wash with garage doors. Never went in and I regret that decision. There were many questions that demanded an answer.

Like: Is Quaker State better than Pennzoil? 10-40w or 10-30? I'd be standing there trying to be cool about this and she's shaking it and asking me stuff a guy is supposed to know about his car.

Probably not standing. Maybe you have to stay in your car? Obviously the hood is up. But then the technician (ASE certifed, 44DD) is obscured. Maybe there's a little space near the hood hinges where you peak through? But then you'd have to keep your windshield defrosted. To keep it defrosted, your engine would have to stay on. Do they allow that while they're working? Doubt it. Do they use clipboards? Probably carry them close to their chest. That would mean further obstruction. Even in the best of circumstances, its damn cold and I'd feel sorry for her - I'm making an assumption. I HOPE it would be a her - standing there freezing her... nevermind.
posted by hal9k at 6:11 AM on February 24, 2007

This post brought back a memory, something I hadn't thought about for a very long time: back around 1976, in my old home town of Birmingham, Alabama, I once needed to cash a check: the lines for the tellers inside my bank were very long, and I was in a hurry, so I walked out of the building, went around the corner and stepped up to the drive-thru teller window. There I presented the check and my bank book and ID. The teller informed me that I couldn't use the window because I wasn't in a car.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:26 AM on February 24, 2007

don't forget the drive through liquor stores, which are fairly common in parts of the south.
posted by cubby at 6:41 AM on February 24, 2007

Not just drive-thru liquor stores, but drive thru Daiquiri Shops, known locally as "drive-and-die" shops. After all, it's not necessarily insane to speed up your pickup of a warm 6-pack and bottle of jack, it's quite another to get a frozen daiquiri ready to drink that will melt if you wait until you get home. Right.
posted by localroger at 7:17 AM on February 24, 2007

You can even own one!
posted by localroger at 7:19 AM on February 24, 2007

And amyms, I'll never forget the first time I saw a drive-thru beer store in Dallas. Kinda flew in the face of the general opprobrium toward drinking and driving...must be a Texas thang.
posted by pax digita

I've never been to Texas, but here in Tennessee if you drive out in the country you can find those little drive thru beer shacks. People have cute names for them, but i can't remember any at the moment.
posted by nola at 7:48 AM on February 24, 2007

Oh, "suds shack". That was one name I remember.
posted by nola at 7:50 AM on February 24, 2007

That strip club is so dismal.
posted by thirteenkiller at 7:52 AM on February 24, 2007

That strip club is so dismal.

It's out in the middle of the corn fields in rural Pennsylvania, there's not much else to do there. It's about fifteen miles down rt. 22 from where I live but no, I've never driven thru.
posted by octothorpe at 8:07 AM on February 24, 2007

Field trip?
posted by thirteenkiller at 8:21 AM on February 24, 2007

The strip club is immaculately depressing. I wonder how many people have died in its parking lot on overcast days, and rotted in their car for months before the car was impounded and crushed.
posted by lostburner at 8:55 AM on February 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

I've only been to the South once, and the drive-thru liquor stores are what brought it home for me that no, Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore.

(Though I've actually never been to Kansas, maybe they have drive-thru liquor stores there too.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:03 AM on February 24, 2007

(Though I've actually never been to Kansas, maybe they have drive-thru liquor stores there too.)

One of my hometown liquor stores (in Kansas) just installed a drive-up window, with great fanfare and lots of advertising... I've seen them elsewhere in Kansas before, but they don't seem to generate the interest, and patronage, that they do in the South.
posted by amyms at 11:13 AM on February 24, 2007

I drove by a topless oil-change drive-thru on my way to work back in the 80's in Des Moines, Iowa.

When I lived in Colorado (late 80s/early 90s) there was a topless carwash (in an enclosed building)... Men in their cars (sometimes a whole carload of frat-boy-types, but mostly single men) would line up for what seemed like miles, even on rainy days...

There was a zoning problem, and the women were eventually required to wear bikinis while doing their work, but it didn't seem to hinder the steady stream of traffic...

My husband and some neighbors went and said it was disappointing... They were expecting it to be like a slow-motion soft-core dream sequence; instead it was just a group of normal looking women working as quickly as possible to keep the line of cars moving... lol.
posted by amyms at 11:26 AM on February 24, 2007

Drive through beer distributors are pretty common in PA but it being Pennsyltucky, you can't buy six-packs, just full 24 pack cases and kegs. Yes, the state forces you to buy more been than you want. (Six-packs are only bought in bars and of course liquor and wine are only sold in state stores.)
posted by octothorpe at 11:45 AM on February 24, 2007

I thought that the church in Daytona Beach Shores may be featured, I live right down the street. I'm not a church goer, but I've heard good things about it. It's been here forever..
posted by LoriFLA at 1:17 PM on February 24, 2007

Heh, LoriFLA, I work just a couple miles away on Beach Street.

I actually went to many Boy Scout summer programs at that church as a boy. It's where I saw my first atlatl.
posted by dozo at 7:11 PM on February 24, 2007

How about a drive through taxidermists?

So you can stuff your pussy.

/Billy Connolly
posted by Samuel Farrow at 12:16 AM on February 25, 2007

The church is a "drive-in", not a "drive-through". Important distinction.

...still weird, but nowhere near as stupid.
posted by Target Practice at 10:33 AM on February 25, 2007

The teller informed me that I couldn't use the window because I wasn't in a car.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:26 AM CST on February 24

I don't remember how long you've been out of the states, but signs at drive-thru windows now at banks, fast food joints, etc, stating "We can only serve those in vehicles" or similar are now pretty much ubiquitous.

I can only imagine it is a legal liability thing.
posted by Ynoxas at 5:29 PM on February 25, 2007

Well, like I mentioned in the comment, my car-less attempt to circumvent the long lines and go to the drive-thru window on foot happened in the 70's, which was a less litigatious time, for sure, and I don't recall seeing that type of sign. I can see where businesses would want to protect themselves from lawsuits, of course: people on foot would be run down regularly, I'm sure, at drive-thru windows...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:34 PM on February 25, 2007