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Boston at Risk!
February 28, 2007 1:46 PM   Subscribe

Boston: First Aqua Teen Hunger Force terrorizes these gentle souls, now traffic monitors are terrorizing the residents. Who are they going to get to compensate them this time?
posted by Bovine Love (56 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
Maybe the Boston police just like to blow things up?
posted by MikeKD at 1:48 PM on February 28, 2007


I also have a policy of blowing things up when I am not sure what they are. Last night I blew up something in my fridge that may, at one time, have been an upside down cake, but what if it was a bomb?
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:50 PM on February 28, 2007 [3 favorites]


Look! Is that a mailbox or a bomb? Blow it up! Is that really one of our own police cars? There are guns inside! Blow it up!
posted by nyxxxx at 1:52 PM on February 28, 2007


"it appears they detonated it by exploding the device..."
posted by phaedon at 1:53 PM on February 28, 2007 [8 favorites]


I wonder what you could get them to blow up by phoning it in as a suspicious package. Mailboxes? Probably not. Random litter, though... I bet they'd blow up an old ratty cardboard box laying on the sidewalk if they got a phone call about it.
posted by mr_roboto at 1:56 PM on February 28, 2007


I wonder what you could get them to blow up by phoning it in as a suspicious package.
dunno, I'm all for trying the Whitehouse.
posted by edgeways at 1:58 PM on February 28, 2007 [1 favorite]


What is photerror?
posted by drezdn at 2:03 PM on February 28, 2007


This has failed to reach the in credible levels of hilarity of the first event. Blah.
posted by mkb at 2:04 PM on February 28, 2007


Boston PD: Putting the Error back in Terror.
posted by lekvar at 2:04 PM on February 28, 2007 [16 favorites]


What is photerror?
Noodles, siracha sauce and little dumplings stuffed with IEDs all in a savory broth.

No wait sorry, that's terror pho.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 2:05 PM on February 28, 2007 [2 favorites]


Does UPS leave packages on your front stoop in Boston? Because if they do, and there's a neighbor that pisses you off, I see a sure-fire (hah!) way to exact revenge. Will work great around Christmas.
posted by adamrice at 2:05 PM on February 28, 2007 [1 favorite]


This has failed to reach the in credible levels of hilarity of the first event. Blah.

Well, I think it would be pretty damn funny if they blew up their own, undoubtedly expensive equipment.
posted by delmoi at 2:05 PM on February 28, 2007


Fucking what. I suggest Bostonites start calling in traffic cameras to boston police.
posted by boo_radley at 2:06 PM on February 28, 2007


Uhmmmm...brick....traffic cameras ...I did it for Nationahl Securitaeh ! I got me terror scaredh !
posted by elpapacito at 2:06 PM on February 28, 2007


photerror = faux terror?
posted by adamrice at 2:06 PM on February 28, 2007


photerror = terror in delicious Thai beef broth
posted by GuyZero at 2:08 PM on February 28, 2007


lol. It is a strange quirk of my mind. I think of a word, but my hands will write a similiar, not always identical sounding word. I often do not notice without careful review, and I did not review the tags. Doh.

Fixed
posted by Bovine Love at 2:09 PM on February 28, 2007


sorry, Vietnamese.
posted by GuyZero at 2:10 PM on February 28, 2007


The war on terror will not be abated until the Boston Police began to blow up suspicious humans. Why didn't that barista smile when she handed me my hazelnut latte? Was it because she was overworked? Or because she didn't recognize my magnanimous Caucasian splendor? Was it because she won't accept my proposition? Or was it because she had a plot to blow up Harvard Square, denying thousands of affluent Harvard students their right to loaf in the name of corporate hegemony?
posted by ed at 2:14 PM on February 28, 2007


photerror = faux terror?

Please, it's pronounced "fuh" terror.
posted by jefbla at 2:15 PM on February 28, 2007


Don't forget the ol' gold-coin-buried-in-the-historic-cemetery trick. Not even the dead are safe.
posted by bob sarabia at 2:15 PM on February 28, 2007


I can't wait for them to find a REAL suspicious chemical warfare weapon and detonate it, releasing sarin or vx into the atmosphere. Idiots. (Well, no, I'd rather they didn't but at this rate...)
posted by IronLizard at 2:15 PM on February 28, 2007


All this, on the next Farm Film Report.

"That blowed up real good!"
posted by evilcolonel at 2:18 PM on February 28, 2007 [1 favorite]


Beantown Blows Another One
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:18 PM on February 28, 2007 [1 favorite]


It's pretty scary living in a world filled with unidentified objects, but some how, I think we'll one day learn to deal with that fear.
posted by Citizen Premier at 2:33 PM on February 28, 2007 [5 favorites]


ironically, not five minutes after laughing at this story this morning, we had to evacuate our building here in spokane.

apparently, the AOL customer service call center upstairs received a bomb threat.
posted by sxtxixtxcxh at 2:33 PM on February 28, 2007


During the ATHF scare, I read a few comments from people who put these things in the field who mentioned they'd seen/heard of more than one traffic monitoring box destroyed by bomb squads.

Still, don't they have bomb sniffing dogs or something to cut down on the false positives?
posted by inthe80s at 2:35 PM on February 28, 2007


Good thing it's only the third time that would make them a laughingstock.
posted by dhartung at 2:40 PM on February 28, 2007


Ya know, it just goes to show that the terrorists have accomplished EXACTLY what they wanted to do: instilling the populace with a constant sense of fear.

Of course, they had help in this from:

A. BushCo

B. The media

C. Law enforcement

It's really pretty sad.
posted by birdhaus at 2:57 PM on February 28, 2007


Right on Birdhaus
posted by Cycloptichorn at 2:59 PM on February 28, 2007


More detailed story here
Apparently, they knew it was a traffic-monitoring device, but decided it was suspicious because it was "a different color" than the ones they usually use.
Also, I see they're still insisting on referring to the ATHF advertisements as a "hoax."
posted by designbot at 3:04 PM on February 28, 2007


So when do they start firing people for being completely fucking retarded?
posted by empath at 3:07 PM on February 28, 2007


Aha! From designbot's comment, we see that a patsy is already being lined up, a "private company is at fault"! Damn those guys, leaving things out in the public!

I am curious as to their definition of "fault".
posted by Bovine Love at 3:11 PM on February 28, 2007


apparently, the AOL customer service call center upstairs received a bomb threat.

How do you ever get any work done? I would imagine this happens EVERY DAMN DAY.
posted by Ynoxas at 3:33 PM on February 28, 2007 [1 favorite]


So, when can we expect some of our Boston MeFites to call-in a parked police car as a "suspicious object"?
C'mon guys! We're countin' on ya...
posted by Thorzdad at 3:35 PM on February 28, 2007


The "terrorizing" link and designbot's both go to the local Fox News orifice, wouldn't you know.

Fox News deserves its own place on birdhaus's list.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:38 PM on February 28, 2007


"Fox News deserves its own place on birdhaus's list."

Actually, they get the lion's share of credit for #2 . . .
posted by birdhaus at 3:50 PM on February 28, 2007


Actually, they get the lion's share of credit for #2 . . .

They get some credit for #1 as well.
posted by Mikey-San at 4:22 PM on February 28, 2007


So on President's Day, I was at lunch at a bar in Davis Square where I met a member of the Boston PD Bomb Squad. I asked him if they had anyone on staff that was under 30 that could, like, actually recognize ATHF characters. He said that he was 40 and the youngest guy on staff. He then asked for a bunch of websites that I could recommend where he could look up stuff like that.

As for the ATHF stuff, that was mostly media howling. The Bomb Squad knew the devices were not dangerous, but because of all the attention (plus the actual bomb threat that was going on that day), they couldn't leave it be. Plus, they were pretty sure they'd get a mint from whomever put the Ignignokts that could be used to help bolster their bottom line.

Real nice guy. I went in for lunch, but he kept ensuring a full Guinness before me, so I didn't leave til well after dinner time.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:35 PM on February 28, 2007 [1 favorite]


Why do people even respond to bomb threats at all? The vast majority of them are fake, and if people ignored them as a rule, the real ones would be completely ineffective.
posted by tehloki at 4:36 PM on February 28, 2007


Why do people even respond to bomb threats at all?

Bruce Schneier explains why here.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 5:01 PM on February 28, 2007 [1 favorite]


Why do people even respond to bomb threats at all? The vast majority of them are fake, and if people ignored them as a rule, the real ones would be completely ineffective.

That's an excellent question, and I must admit, one I've never pondered. I wonder how many bomb threats have actually resulted in a bomb detonating as promised.

Are bomb threats just life imitating art ... er, TV and movies?
posted by itchylick at 5:04 PM on February 28, 2007 [1 favorite]


Doh, hit post 10 seconds too late.
posted by itchylick at 5:05 PM on February 28, 2007


I've got a suspicious "package" right here.

In my pants.
posted by pivotal at 5:26 PM on February 28, 2007


The chief of the Cartoon Network resigned (or was forced to resign) over the first incident. I think he should get his job back, immediately, with back pay, given that the culprit seems to be municipal stupidity.
posted by raysmj at 5:40 PM on February 28, 2007


Someday, someone will take note that suspicious devicesTM never seem to get the water cannon treatment until after the camera crews are on scene.
posted by paxton at 5:40 PM on February 28, 2007


Boston is just dying to get its own terror scare. They want so hard to be like NYC.
posted by Eideteker at 5:46 PM on February 28, 2007 [1 favorite]


I've got a suspicious "package" right here.

In my pants.


Does it, too, run off of batteries?

I kid, I kid. You're a good sport, fella.
posted by Mikey-San at 5:47 PM on February 28, 2007


Sounds like Boston's cops ride the short bus to work.

People should be calling in all sorts of shit as "suspicious." Let's see how loopy the cops get before they finally grab a clue.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:37 PM on February 28, 2007


Now, eideteker, by posting to a post that signs off "uber alles", haven't you inderectly violated Godwin's rule?
posted by noble_rot at 5:38 AM on March 1, 2007


The Newsreader got it wrong. The setting wasn't Post Office Square (where there is no longer a post office). It was Newspaper Row, where there is no longer any newspapers. This is about two blocks from the Boston Traffic Dept. offices.

IANABSM, but wouldn't it take all of two minutes to call the Traffic Dept?
posted by Gungho at 7:17 AM on March 1, 2007


The problem is that we've got all these people who's full-time job is take care of situation that only crop up once in a blue moon. Seriously, when was the last time the Boston PD found an actual deployed bomb? Or heck, when was the last time the local PD of ANYWHERE IN AMERICA actually found a deployed bomb.

I mean look for "bomb squad" in the news, and you see false alarm after false alarm.

I did find an article about a "pipe bomb" in Eastern Idaho claims they found a bomb that the police "confirm that this was an actual pipe bomb and it may have had the potential to destroy an entire city block and make a huge crater, had it gone off as intended." Is this even remotely plausible? Now, maybe I shouldn't be surprised the last paragraph of our story might give us a little understanding,

"The City of Idaho Falls is planning to create its own bomb squad within a year from now, so it won't have to wait several hours for other bomb squads to take care of these type of situations. The department is working now on grants for funding to pay for the training and equipment."

Which is obviously necessary because this happens all the time, as Lt. Joe Cawley puts it, "I think it is an isolated incident. I mean, everything points that we don't have any other explosive devices out there and we haven't had for some time, so yeah, it's isolated."
posted by betaray at 9:28 AM on March 1, 2007


Seriously, when was the last time the Boston PD found an actual deployed bomb?
August 30, 2006
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:26 AM on March 1, 2007


Um, training (that is not live but replica) hand-grenades may look like actual weapons, but still aren't actual weapons. Even without a bomb squad, that situation would have turned out just fine.

If Boston's biggest threat is fake hand-grenades, I can see why all the guys are eager to blow old thing they find chained to public property. Watch out bicyclers!
posted by betaray at 11:31 AM on March 1, 2007


it was determined that the object was a possible improvised, working explosive device.

I read that as it being a working explosive device, possibly improvised from a training grenade. There's that comma there...
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:52 AM on March 1, 2007


Ba-boom!
posted by ericb at 1:56 PM on March 1, 2007


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