Comments on: NOT still in the running to become America's Next Top Model

NOT still in the running to become America's Next Top Model

onlyconnect — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 17:04:10 -0800

Elyse Sewell (some language NSFW), the nerdy, smart-mouthed, pre-med athiest who lost the first season of Tyra Banks' America's Next Top Model ("ANTM") to Adrianne Curry, has since arguably achieved more success as a model than any actual ANTM winner. Her blog is the only internet site I'm aware of that provides mordant commentary on very strange modeling jobs , odd local food variants, ANTM, dating a Shin (bus, SNL, Christmas, album, tour), and the heretofore sadly underexplored existentialist moments of modeling. (ANTM previously.)

By: bz

bz — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 17:10:13 -0800

She's impressive. I like.

By: geoff.

geoff. — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 17:14:25 -0800

Models are evolving. Soon they will be smarter than us. Then the whole world will be analogous to a Dolce and Gabanna tableau.

By: ludwig_van

ludwig_van — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 17:14:36 -0800

Atheist.

By: ao4047

ao4047 — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 17:16:04 -0800

I always like how they call them 'cycles' instead of 'seasons.' It seems so Wagnerian. Maybe this is all really Tyra's gesamtkunstwerk (granted sometimes it does give me verfremdungseffekt).

By: Hildegarde

Hildegarde — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 17:21:37 -0800

I love Elyse! None of the others have ever been as good as the first cycle. And I've been following her lj for a while now, too; she's always entertaining.

By: geoff.

geoff. — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 17:21:58 -0800

Of course this reminds me of my favorite, well only, pick up line for the tragically beautiful woman at the party dressed in the latest fashion: "Is that Gaultier you're wearing?" It works every time with the right girl, but you'll have to converse as to why you thought it was from Gaultier's collection (keywords: proto-punk, counter-fashion). Marc Jacob's is another one. If it works I want a personal e-mail of gratitude.

By: davejay

davejay — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 17:25:18 -0800

Best of the ~~web~~ crap my wife likes to watch on television that makes me leave the house.

By: lekvar

lekvar — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 17:30:23 -0800

She said dimetrodon. I think I'm in love.

By: Suparnova

Suparnova — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 17:33:16 -0800

Elyse is awesome. My borther and fellow mefite tuned me into her lj about a year ago and I've been hooked ever since.

By: Bora Horza Gobuchul

Bora Horza Gobuchul — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 17:46:54 -0800

Should I take some significance from the fact that every second photograph in her blog is packaged, untouched food?

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 17:59:46 -0800

lekvar, she also describes a new hair style as "an awesome trilobite on top of my head." Count me in on the love thing.

By: petsounds

petsounds — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:00:19 -0800

god shes cute

By: Sparx

Sparx — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:00:47 -0800

I, too, watched the first season of ANTM because it was just great to watch the dribblingly idiotic fundies get shafted in favour of Elyse - by crikey, it was almost as if God wasn't looking out for them! I mean, they pointed out in their Bibles where it says "The fool in his heart says that there is no God" as if it were an argument that they then congratulated themselves for winning. Death was too good for them - snark was the least they deserved. Of course, they couldn't let the athiest [sic] win. They're just too athy for the American Public. I did google her once, to see what what happened after the show, and came across this - fairly old - interview. Best answer - for those who have yet to feel the lerve:

When did you first start to realize you had what it takes to model? At the age of 16, I was perusing the silk slipper selection in the open-air markets of Bangkok when an orange was thrown from a second-story window and struck me on the back of the head. As I tenderly caressed the contusion, it began to throb rhythmically. I whipped out my Morse Code decoder ring and deciphered this message: "Elyse, you have what it takes to model." I raced up a narrow staircase into the room from whence the orange had flown, but found only the remains of a Dionysian feast and six jet-black hairs plucked from the bonny head of the princess. As our ship was to leave port in five minutes, I was forced to abandon my sleuthing and race up the gangplank, for otherwise how could I gain passage back to Cape Hatteras? The source of the message remains a mystery to this day.

By: maggiemaggie

maggiemaggie — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:02:04 -0800

Wait, she's modeling? On the show she said she hated modeling and was done with it forever and she couldn't wait to go to med school. What happened?

By: washburn

washburn — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:05:41 -0800

What's this, Loveliness? Bah!

By: Hildegarde

Hildegarde — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:10:12 -0800

Should I take some significance from the fact that every second photograph in her blog is packaged, untouched food? I suppose visual commentary is just lost on some people.

By: brain cloud

brain cloud — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:12:40 -0800

Elyse's blog is one of my favorites. She's crazy smart to boot. I take a bit of vicarious satisfaction that of all the women to strut through the junkfood TV that is ANTM, she's probably the only one getting steady work as a model. Elyse is the one who declared that if she didn't find work as a model, she'd go to medical school instead -- a statement that made Miss J. make a face like he'd just licked a turd.

By: joegester

joegester — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:12:48 -0800

OhmygodIloveher.

By: Dataphage

Dataphage — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:14:00 -0800

Happy puffy nips just flew over someone's head.

By: onlyconnect

onlyconnect — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:15:23 -0800

maggiemaggie, I don't have a link offhand, but somewhere she explained it as deciding that she had the rest of her life to go to med school and a limited amount of time to be 20 and make money/tour the world modeling.

By: brain cloud

brain cloud — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:16:22 -0800

maggiemaggie -- I think she realized she could milk the modeling thing for a while and do med school later if she still wanted to. She has a very healthy attitude about the whole industry and she seems to be doing modeling mostly for the adventure of it. Definitely check out the LJ, it's a great read.

By: four panels

four panels — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:16:47 -0800

Every Ladytron song is about this very girl.

By: micketymoc

micketymoc — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:39:19 -0800

She was here last week. Damn it. Lost a major stalking opportunity. Oh, and she ate kentekoy (deep fried ducks' eggs) without shame. I'm in leeerve.

By: smackfu

smackfu — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:52:03 -0800

She's always been my favorite.

By: gergtreble

gergtreble — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:52:09 -0800

Good brain. But too thin.

By: schoolgirl report

schoolgirl report — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 18:57:01 -0800

Step 1: Press button. Step 2: Get bacon. Step 3: Eat bacon. Brilliant.

By: flibbertigibbet

flibbertigibbet — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 19:10:34 -0800

I fav'ed this even though I'm a devout follower of her blog, damn if you didn't recap it well, and this thread brought up so many good moments of her blog. "Eat bacon!" And damned if she isn't hot, too!

By: Bqaggie87

Bqaggie87 — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 19:15:18 -0800

I admit I've been reading her blog for over a year as well.

By: dhartung

dhartung — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 19:18:40 -0800

Atheist. No. Her disbelief is stronger than yours -- hence, athiest.

By: muddgirl

muddgirl — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 19:24:11 -0800

I admit that I stalk Elyse. In case anyone didn't know, she's dating Marty Cranwhatever, "the cute one" from the Shins. The best episode of ANTM is when he visits her, and everyone gives them the evil eye for being so happy.

By: ThePinkSuperhero

ThePinkSuperhero — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 19:49:36 -0800

AWESOME POST! Anyone watch tonight's season premiere? Is it just me, or are the girls getting uglier and uglier? Only Natasha (the russian girl) struck me as anywhere near model material.

By: ThePinkSuperhero

ThePinkSuperhero — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 19:58:56 -0800

Some interesting ANTM gossip: Adrienne Curry and Tyra Banks had a falling out, as Curry felt winning ANTM didn't live up to what Banks said it would be. As a result, Curry is never mentioned on the show. Seriously, they'll mention every other winner, and leave her out completely. Not a shot, not a word. And here Elyse is out there being a real model. Go figure.

By: brain cloud

brain cloud — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:07:29 -0800

[gossip] IMO Natasha is ten kinds of creepy, with the mail order bride thing going on and her drag queen walk. And none of the girls this cycle look remotely modely, except maybe the photog one and the black girl with the megahair.[/gossip]

By: ThePinkSuperhero

ThePinkSuperhero — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:34:52 -0800

That photog girl is totally a bitch, though, and the bitch never wins.

By: brain cloud

brain cloud — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:38:47 -0800

TPS I've got 1 word for you -- Eva.

By: ThePinkSuperhero

ThePinkSuperhero — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:42:32 -0800

Was she THE bitch, or just a bitch? Most of the girls have their bitchy moments, but there's usually one girl the editors pick to be THE bitch of the season. Like Melrose. I seem to recall Eva being edited a bit more favorably.

By: fenriq

fenriq — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:58:10 -0800

I can't watch ANTM, aside from the content giving my hives, Tyra Banks scares me. But Elyse seems nice, a tad skinny though.

By: arialblack

arialblack — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 21:41:32 -0800

eerie: adrianne is is the digital model for the new line of nvidia cards.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 22:15:50 -0800

I've been reading Elyse's blog for a while, and it's totally great. Somehow I didn't think it would go over this well on The Filter. Just goes to show that pretty girls can win the hearts of even the interblag curmudgeons. I uh, do some modeling occasionally and I'm totally addicted to ANTM. Go CarrieDee!!!

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 22:17:09 -0800

Oh, and, my favorite non-winner is Kahlen from Cycle4 whose MySpace is totally findable if you search by her full name (Kahlen Rondot). I hesitate to link MyCrack because, well, it creeps me out.

By: vhsiv

vhsiv — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 23:28:20 -0800

And of course Adrienne Curry's biggest shots after ANTM were her Playboy appearance (nsfw) and her reality show. I suppose it's no surprise that the winner of a reality show would make a bigger splash on more reality shows rather than in the career she was supposed to be serving. Or is this simply a re-definition of 'modeling' and what Tyra's show is meant to accomplish? Elyse has definitely come out ahead of the pack.

By: MonkeySaltedNuts

MonkeySaltedNuts — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 03:03:10 -0800

I had never heard of her before but her blog is a hoot. Unfortunately many women who make their living from their beauty are total airheads and/or become coke addicts. (I recall the several times times I've seen Playmates on TV when they open their mouths). Then again I once sat next to an a great model on a transatlantic flight - She even helped me reading a French tabloid - Q: "why are you reading such crap?" A: "my French isn't great but this stuff is written for a 10 year old, so what does this word mean?". Anyway I liked this post. An excerpt:

Oh fucking goddammit, in the time it took me to write that fucking sentence, they have busted out a HARMONICA and a little dog has started yapping along furiously. I have never heard them with a harmonica until this moment. But that's not even the point! Get this: across the airshaft and one floor down lives a single man whom I and my roommates have observed stirring up dinner in his kitchen, butt-nekkid. Just one paragraph ago, when I was about to write a sentence about the gross new shit they have at Kentucky Fried Chicken, I glanced out the window and down across the airshaft at Monsieur Nude, who was standing nakedly in his kitchen and looking out his window just in time to make eye contact with me. Butt, but butt naked, Monsieur Nude looked into my eyes and made an extravagant, Italian-style hand gesture of "what the fuck?" in the direction of the guitar-blasting male models' apartment, clapped his hands to his ears dramatically, and, penis aswing-- penis aswing!!-- reached to his boom box and started blaring Li'l Kim. Li'l Kim! And now he's cooking! I am looking right at his naked ass RIGHT NOW.

By: MonkeySaltedNuts

MonkeySaltedNuts — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 03:49:55 -0800

Anyway the above great model I flew with spoke maybe 6 languages. Somehow when the flight crew was having problems communicating with a passenger they came to her and she went off to resolve the communication problem, almost like it was her job. I don't know how the crew knew to find her. Maybe she was registered with the airline and flies for free or at a large discount. And no, the woman did not have the sort of gorgeous that prompts strangers to say "you should be a model". She just looked like an attractive skinny 20ish woman - a blank canvass upon which cloths, makeup, hair, and lighting can work wonders. I've seen similar working at the local supermarket.

By: horseblind

horseblind — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 08:29:21 -0800

onlyconnect, you have brought a righteous start to my day. The photos and comments have really brought levity to an otherwise bitch of a week. well, that and "Koalas aren't hard they some little bitches". Thanks. I can just imagine the perfesser's face whilst seeing a picture of her. Damn, she is pretty darn cute.

By: clango

clango — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 08:40:02 -0800

Been following her LJ for a while and it's always worth the read. She's a weird, weird person. That is my highest compliment.

By: The corpse in the library

The corpse in the library — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 08:55:48 -0800

Just goes to show that pretty girls can win the hearts of even the interblag curmudgeons. And sometimes the pretty girls are the interblag curmudgeons. P.S. Don't talk about burping! I'm normal!

By: Methylviolet

Methylviolet — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 09:16:07 -0800

This is very cool. I have never seen ANTM (because I don't watch TV, and am better than you) but she has an entertaining take. We need more hot atheists, and if they make analogies to O-chem lab banana flavoring, bonus.

By: xod

xod — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 10:51:12 -0800

I think the woman on the left best summarizes my feelings toward all things Elyse.

By: muddgirl

muddgirl — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 12:47:35 -0800

I think the woman on the left best summarizes my feelings toward all things Elyse. Admiration mixed with lust?

By: xod

xod — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 13:12:21 -0800

Close. Apprehension mixed with disgust.

By: somersault

somersault — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 14:27:59 -0800

Elyse Sewell is definitely a secret vice of mine for oh so many sheepish reasons including these: "I was shocked and ashamed to witness and remember the toxic waste that came out of my mouth in the infamous Episode 2 tirade. I got all hopped up on rage-o-hol [sic] and let the bitch flag fly." [NSFW, Youtube] "...but it's obviously someone's shit so it's wrong." [semi-NSFW, video] "Does someone really want to see the fat and glands hang off my chest? If they do, I mean, that's fine with me." [video, Elyse-related footage is 2 minutes in] "It takes facial and body symmetry, and facial features indicative of high estrogen level, such as a small jaw. " [video, one again Elyse-related footage is 3 minutes in]