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The Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act of 1837??!?
March 1, 2007 11:36 AM   Subscribe

"A man who was found dressed in latex and handcuffs brought a donkey to his room in a Galway city centre hotel, because he was advised “to get out and meet people,” the local court heard last week...." (Via)
posted by mosk (52 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
I managed to stifle a laugh until the second-to-last line:

"He was fined €2,000 for bringing the donkey to the room under the Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837."

Oh my word.
posted by popkinson at 11:41 AM on March 1, 2007


The GalwayFirst reader comments that follow the article are also pretty good and worth perusing.
posted by mosk at 11:45 AM on March 1, 2007


Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837: "Wherin, beit advized that no man shall enter into an inne half-assed..."
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:48 AM on March 1, 2007 [2 favorites]


The donkey swallowed the key? Do I even want to know how that happened?
posted by DU at 11:49 AM on March 1, 2007


He was also charged with damage to a mini-bar in the room, but this charge was later dropped when the defendant said that it was the donkey who caused that damage.

...

Receptionist Irina Legova said that Mr McCarney had told her that the donkey was a breed of “super rabbit” which he was bringing to a pet fair in the city.

How do so many idiots fit into one story?
posted by justkevin at 11:52 AM on March 1, 2007


I'm not going to comment, I'm not going to comment, I'm not going to comment...ah crap

brahhahahahahahhahahaha!

Donkey, latex, handcuff, young desk clerk that didn't speak english... (I think he missed the boat on that one, if she believed the ass was a rabbit, he could have talked her into going up to his room...!)
posted by HuronBob at 11:53 AM on March 1, 2007


For the record, this story is too good to be true.
posted by justkevin at 11:54 AM on March 1, 2007


Of course, the "Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837" does not exist, amusing as it sounds.

The Irish Free State was established in 1922. In 1837, Ireland was part of the United Kingdom. In 1922, all laws of the UK that did not conflict with the new Irish constitution were continued. So an 1837 act regarding donkeys would have been passed in the UK parliament. According to this list, it was not.

Also, the only Google results for "Unlawful Accom..." are for this particular story.
posted by Aloysius Bear at 11:58 AM on March 1, 2007


I hope you don't think me an ass for pointing that out; you can now carry on horsing about.
posted by Aloysius Bear at 11:59 AM on March 1, 2007


After the "guy having sex with the week old dog corpse next to a daycare center", I thought, holy crap anything is possible. I couldn't have even made that up. However, I call bullshit on this one.
posted by Mr_Zero at 12:02 PM on March 1, 2007


First they came for the donkey fuckers.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:04 PM on March 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


I can't believe that Jimbo Wales thinks it is okay that this donkey has passed itself off as having the credentials of a super rabbit.
posted by srboisvert at 12:05 PM on March 1, 2007 [2 favorites]


hysterical! Mr. Shrek! a Super Rabbit! : >
posted by amberglow at 12:07 PM on March 1, 2007


Although the link to the story does appear on the first page of the GalwayFirst website (in the "Most Popular" section), I am willing to believe it is too good to be true, an April Fools story published on 2/26. (A quick Google search for "Sharon Fitzhenry solicitor Galway" returned links to the above article, and some reprints of same, but no other links.) So it probably is a hoax. Sorry...
posted by mosk at 12:08 PM on March 1, 2007


Sweet Baby Jebus, the guy who dresses in latex and handcuffs in a hotel room with a donkey looks positively normal next to the dead dog sodomizer.
posted by DU at 12:09 PM on March 1, 2007


Aloysius - it does list a "Cruelty to Animals (Ireland) Act 1837 " there, which may have accommodated donkeys.
posted by Abiezer at 12:10 PM on March 1, 2007


I'm with Zero on this one. I think the Galwegians are pulling our collective "Legova" with this hilarious yarn.

Yet one must salute the truthiness of the pseudo-verisimilitude provided by details like:

"He was also charged with damage to a mini-bar in the room, but this charge was later dropped when the defendant said that it was the donkey who caused that damage."
posted by rdone at 12:11 PM on March 1, 2007


I keep thinking I will be able to put my incarceration in a Dublin prison due to The Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act of 1837 behind me, but stories such as this keep bringing those horrible memories back.

Damn you, Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act of 1837!
posted by mcstayinskool at 12:12 PM on March 1, 2007


mirror?
posted by mrgrimm at 12:14 PM on March 1, 2007


And metafilter kills another local paper web site...
posted by 2sheets at 12:14 PM on March 1, 2007


Good point, Abeizer. My donkey-work on Wikipedia may have been in vain.
posted by Aloysius Bear at 12:28 PM on March 1, 2007


Have you ever been to the Galway city centre? Hordes of stinky backpackers all milling about like zombies holding signs that direct other stinky backpackers to places where they can earn some money by holding signs to direct future, yet unborn backpackers. When I close my eyes at night, I can still see them. By the time backpackers reach Galway, the shine has come off the Irish Adventure and that slow realization that this is what they signed up for has begun to creep into their every expression.

A guy bringing a donkey back to his hotel must have been seen by the clerk as some sort of super stud for having lured what must have been one of the cleanest, most alert creature on the street home.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:29 PM on March 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


mirror?
» Google Cache

Story is spreading like wildfire. Not sure how true. Can't find any other sources to verify.
posted by Webbster at 12:37 PM on March 1, 2007


One of the stories linked from that page is a gem too:

The eldest son of the late John “Frog” Ward has this week hit out at the decision of his mother to marry a Sudanese refugee, saying that the wedding has ruined his life in the Traveller community.
posted by jamesonandwater at 12:40 PM on March 1, 2007


thanks, Webbster. yes, i am lazy.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:42 PM on March 1, 2007


You see what happens, Larry?
posted by designbot at 12:42 PM on March 1, 2007


Second post this week about my home town Galway - wow. (See the Fr Ted one earlier)

As for evidence of whether its a hoax or not, Galway First is a brand new paper, trying to make a name for itself. Their reference to "The Lads in The Galway Arms next door" (to the police station on Mill Street) having a laugh about the incident over a pint is an obvious clue. No-one has darkened the doorway of that pub since its disastrous renovation nearly ten years ago.
posted by Sk4n at 12:47 PM on March 1, 2007


OK so the Islands are not part of Galway city, but near as dammit to claim them when Fr Ted's involved.
posted by Sk4n at 12:48 PM on March 1, 2007


Aloysius Bear: I hope you don't think me an ass for pointing that out; you can now carry on horsing about.

Uhuh, no we don't think that, but we do note that you share at least one first name with Mr. Thomas Aloysius McCarney, the donkey shagger, and have a suspiciously furry sounding last name. Are you perhaps trying to defend a relative of yours?
posted by sour cream at 12:57 PM on March 1, 2007


This is coming from a paper that publishes the urinary problems of U.R. Unal as well as an article that states The Government has been warned to move to avoid a nurses strike because they are standing exactly on a spot the placard brandishing nurses and midwives are planning to walk through.

About as believable as the Weekly World News -- and a good example why newspapers shouldn't get involved in the fiction business.
posted by cgs06 at 1:08 PM on March 1, 2007


what a couple of asses.
posted by jonmc at 1:10 PM on March 1, 2007


Eyre Square - the Center of Galway City that Robocop Is Bleeding so accurately refers to above hosts a statue of Paraic O'Conaire, an Irish poet from the early 1900s. His most famous work is "M'asal beag dubh". The title refers to his time spent travelling the roads of the West of Ireland as a storyteller and musician. His method of transportation? A donkey and cart.

The title of his famous work translated into English would be "My little black ass".
posted by Sk4n at 1:12 PM on March 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


The thing that's weird to me, apart from the obvious situation, is that he kinda probably worked up to this. Maybe started out normal. I did a post on this in my blog, but the upshot is: I'm really curious to know what the little baby steps were that took him from normal to this ...
posted by chinese_fashion at 1:27 PM on March 1, 2007


Down with this sort of thing
posted by Elmore at 1:38 PM on March 1, 2007


You can't make this stuff up.
posted by iconomy at 1:57 PM on March 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


True or not, this is the greatest news story I have ever read. And I have gotten drunk out of my mind in both Galway and the Islands, so I know whereof I speak.
posted by languagehat at 1:59 PM on March 1, 2007


There's a touch of the Flann O'Brien's to this.
posted by carter at 2:01 PM on March 1, 2007


i'm in ur mini-bar partying with ur donkey.
posted by bruce at 2:11 PM on March 1, 2007


When I was in Omagh, the folks I was staying with told me a story about how a local prankster had taken a picture of sheep milling outside of a old building and put it on a fake newspaper with a headline saying, "Omagh's First All-Sheep Brothel Shut Down!" And people believed it. My hosts seemed to find this hilarious. I, on the other hand, began to re-think my view towards the British for driving my great-great-grandparents out of Omagh a hundred and forty years ago.
posted by Football Bat at 3:12 PM on March 1, 2007


And if there ever was any kind of 'Unlawful Accomodation of Donkeys Act' it probably had more to do with Anglicizing rural Irish than anything else, as way back in the day it was common and not necessarily sexual to sleep under the same roof as your farm animals. (way back in the day = seventeenth century, by the way)
posted by Football Bat at 3:16 PM on March 1, 2007


The Irish Free State was established in 1922. In 1837, Ireland was part of the United Kingdom. In 1922, all laws of the UK that did not conflict with the new Irish constitution were continued. So an 1837 act regarding donkeys would have been passed in the UK parliament. According to this list, it was not.

Killjoy.
posted by jokeefe at 3:54 PM on March 1, 2007


wasn't this a scene in clerks 2?
posted by quarter waters and a bag of chips at 3:55 PM on March 1, 2007


Fehrman had said in previous written and oral arguments that a dead dog is not an animal and therefore cannot be violated against its will.

Sheeran said the purpose of the sodomy law is not to protect a specific victim, necessarily, but 'to prevent people from debasing and dehumanizing themselves.' Such laws also protect society, Sheeran said, and 'prevents people from acting like animals themselves.'


Because it's well known that all animals sodomize other dead animals. I can't tell you the number of times I have seen squirrels humping away on dead voles.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:00 PM on March 1, 2007


Zombie voles are whores. They was asking for it.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:07 PM on March 1, 2007


"I'll punch a donkey in the streets of Galway."
posted by monosyllabic at 4:55 PM on March 1, 2007


Christ, what an ass.
posted by fandango_matt at 5:30 PM on March 1, 2007


I'm stumped, what's being virally marketed here?
posted by b1tr0t at 8:01 PM on March 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


Apparently, the GalwayFirst paper itself. If they're a new paper, as Sk4N states, the viral spreading of the story and resulting surge in page views will help boost their profile and future ad revenues.

OTOH...between the implied bestiality, the destroyed mini-bar, and the Unlawful Accommodation of Donkey Acts, it's still a good read.
posted by mosk at 8:12 PM on March 1, 2007


Wickedly funny read. Thank you.
Gold star for iconomy too!
posted by peacay at 10:39 PM on March 1, 2007



Everything about this..
posted by bukharin at 10:56 PM on March 1, 2007


Casts a whole new light on what those Irish are all about, I'll tell you that.
posted by Goofyy at 7:00 AM on March 2, 2007


was he just haveing the craic
posted by baker dave at 8:21 AM on March 2, 2007


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