Tough Titty Said The Kitty
March 2, 2007 6:56 PM   Subscribe

"Cats milk has long been a popular gourmet food in eastern Europe and it is a highly-prized and precious commodity." Horse milk too, apparently.
posted by mr_crash_davis (30 comments total)
 
Has anyone actually clicked on those links yet? Because I sure have not.

I don't think I will, either. I might do it for twenty bucks. While the internet has certainly made me jaded it has also made me wary.
posted by loquacious at 7:10 PM on March 2, 2007


I mean, I guess cat milk isn't much weirder than cow milk, but WTF? How the fuck do you milk a cat? No. No, see, that's curiosity manifesting itself. Not going to click. No. No.
posted by loquacious at 7:12 PM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


Fake, nuff said.
posted by Octoparrot at 7:23 PM on March 2, 2007


"Cat-Sip"? "Pussy Whip"? Hey, those would taste great on a big baloney sammich!
posted by maryh at 7:25 PM on March 2, 2007


Not fake, there was a cat dairy on a farm near where I grew up.
posted by grytpype at 7:27 PM on March 2, 2007


Excellent usage of the sadly underused click it loquacious tag.
posted by wander at 7:34 PM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


How the fuck do you milk a cat?

Carefully?
posted by carter at 7:44 PM on March 2, 2007


I like to wash down my morning Havidol pills with a tall glass of cats milk.
posted by scblackman at 7:46 PM on March 2, 2007


Cat milk is apparently Lactaid for kitties.
posted by scblackman at 7:49 PM on March 2, 2007


I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?
posted by fusinski at 7:58 PM on March 2, 2007


How the fuck do you milk a cat?

Restrict kitten access to allow milk to build up. Inject oxytocin to stimulate milk ejection. Then manually massage the area around teat and collect milk into an appropriate container. The same way you milk a mouse really.

(yes, I have a friend who occasionally collects milk from mice as part of his job)

Here's a relevant reference:
"Milking a queen is typically difficult, and the total volume collected is often small. The following techniques were utilized to allow the collection of large sample volumes. A queen was separated from her kittens for a period that mimicked the natural nursing interval observed for her kittens' age to ensure that her glands were full at the time of collection, and the milk collected was not merely residual. These separation periods were 30 min for litters 2-weeks-old and younger, and 45–60 min for older litters. Frequent massaging of the mammary glands during milking helped to sustain ejection without administering additional oxytocin. A queen objecting to the sitting position often would quickly settle down, 'recline' with all legs stretched out, and knead once her glands were massaged, simulating the natural kneading by the kittens. The process of milking a single queen required approximately 45–60 min, volumes collected amounted to 12–15 ml. However, between 20 and 25 ml were collected from several queens.

Each queen was subcutaneously injected at the scruff of the neck with 5 units of oxytocin (0.25 cc of a solution containing 20 units of oxytocin per ml) using a 2.54 cm, 25-gauge needle was used for all injections. Milk collection started 10 min following the oxytocin injection. Milk was collected by manual expression into preweighed 5-ml plastic tubes. Volumes of 1 ml were collected at a time, with the front teats being collected separately from the back teats. All functional teats were milked, with an attempt to maintain a constant amount from each teat for a given 1-ml volume. "
K. L. Jacobsen, E. J. DePeters, Q. R. Rogers, S. J. Taylor (2004)
Influences of stage of lactation, teat position and sequential milk sampling on the composition of domestic cat milk (Felis catus)
Journal of Animal Physiology and Animal Nutrition 88 (1-2), 46–58.
doi:10.1046/j.1439-0396.2003.00459.x
http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1439-0396.2003.00459.x
posted by shelleycat at 8:19 PM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


I should mention I've never milked anything smaller than a cow. And I have a hilarious picture in my head of a little rotary milking shed with the mice lining up to take a turn.
posted by shelleycat at 8:22 PM on March 2, 2007


"Milking a queen is typically difficult,

There's the lesè majesté problem for one thing...
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:39 PM on March 2, 2007


And I was concerned about the first person to try out cow's milk.
posted by inconsequentialist at 8:47 PM on March 2, 2007


SQUEAKY FARMS
BRAND

GENUINE ANIMAL
M I L K
posted by chimaera at 10:08 PM on March 2, 2007


there would be irony in baiting a mousetrap with cat cheese.
posted by bruce at 10:22 PM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


there would be irony in baiting a mousetrap with cat cheese.

Wouldn't it be more ironic to bait a mousetrap with mouse cheese?
posted by inconsequentialist at 10:37 PM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


This must be the only cat post on Metafilter that has not been overrun by cat people.
posted by jouke at 10:40 PM on March 2, 2007


A poison has been introduced into you, Thufir Hawat. By milking this smooth little cat body each day you receive your antidote... it must be done each day....
posted by dreamsign at 12:46 AM on March 3, 2007


Milking a queen is typically difficult.

Surely this is overbroad. Queens are a varied lot.
posted by owhydididoit at 12:53 AM on March 3, 2007


fusinki beat me to the reference, but...

You tried to milk him, didn't you you sick son of a bitch?
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:50 AM on March 3, 2007


Ugh. No points for you guys referencing a terrible, terrible movie.
posted by psmealey at 5:19 AM on March 3, 2007


mr_crash_davis: I think I wouldn't like to drink horse milk, thank you very much. Mare's milk may be a different matter...
posted by Skeptic at 5:56 AM on March 3, 2007


Monkey butter?
posted by Rhomboid at 6:20 AM on March 3, 2007


"Filly Cream Cheese" Snort.
posted by xod at 11:25 AM on March 3, 2007


Tiger's Milk.

Not fake: donkey milk, moose milk, yak (dri) milk.
posted by nickyskye at 10:31 PM on March 3, 2007


Do see the Illinois Pork Producers Association response to the question of why you can't buy pig milk.
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 12:45 AM on March 4, 2007


I feel the need to inject a little stranger-than-fiction truth into this: nomadic groups across Asia have been milking horses forever, and better yet, they ferment it. One of my art history instructors claims that it's delicious, and of course a mandatory hazing ritual for visitors.

Apparently Mongolian warriors may also have invented powdered milk. Again, from horses.
posted by medialyte at 1:04 AM on March 4, 2007


Dreamsign, you weren't the only one thinking that. :D
posted by Vamier at 6:03 AM on March 4, 2007


medialyte, you might want to check out Genghis Blues, a documentary about a blind blues singer who travels to Tuva to compete in a Tuvan throat singing contest. One of the scenes is his host introducing him to fermented mares milk (Kumis).
posted by BrotherCaine at 10:27 PM on March 4, 2007


« Older Enriched uranium unearthed from man's garden   |   Fair and Balanced Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments