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The ozone layer was just jealous.
March 5, 2007 11:49 AM   Subscribe

There are holes in the earth's crust! It turns out that the ozone layer was just keeping up with the Jones's; in the middle of the Atlantic ocean, there is a patch of several thousand square kilometers where the mantle is exposed. 'The team of scientists from Cardiff University stress there is no need for the public to panic about the giant hole even though they describe it as "a gaping open wound in the Earth's skin".' The scientific team departs today to investigate the hole. They will be detailing their progress on a blog. And you can ask them questions about their project, which they may answer online.
posted by louigi (67 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite

 
is their ship made of unobtainium?
posted by bl1nk at 11:51 AM on March 5, 2007 [2 favorites]


i thought we already had a giant gaping hole in the earth's skin called hawaii?
posted by spicynuts at 11:56 AM on March 5, 2007


Maybe this will help explain some of the phenomena associated with the Bermuda Triangle.
posted by inconsequentialist at 11:57 AM on March 5, 2007


Has anyone seen the Technodrome lately?
posted by Space Coyote at 11:57 AM on March 5, 2007


They say the sea isn't going to be sucked away - although they admit the discovery defies science.

So modest!
posted by phaedon at 11:58 AM on March 5, 2007


they describe it as "a gaping open wound in the Earth's skin".'

Stop picking at it!
/My mom
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:06 PM on March 5, 2007 [2 favorites]


Wait, I've seen this movie before.

I think it had Hilary Swank in it.
posted by generichuman at 12:06 PM on March 5, 2007


Question: Are we all gonna die?
posted by DU at 12:07 PM on March 5, 2007 [1 favorite]


DU: Yes.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:09 PM on March 5, 2007


"The USA continent is pulling away from Europe and Africa at the rate of 2cm a year - the same rate as a fingernail grows," he said.

Somehow, I find that entire phrase a little strange.
posted by malaprohibita at 12:10 PM on March 5, 2007


So all the extra water from the melting polar ice will be counteracted with this gaping hole of mantle, so we have nothing to worry about right?

Right??

stocks up on canned food, lives in old fallout shelter
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 12:10 PM on March 5, 2007


A three hour tour...
a three hour tour.
posted by hal9k at 12:15 PM on March 5, 2007 [1 favorite]


Here come the Mole Men!
posted by Dizzy at 12:22 PM on March 5, 2007 [1 favorite]


Don't touch the soft spot!
posted by CynicalKnight at 12:22 PM on March 5, 2007


Cool. The mid-ocean ridges have a new friend -- or, maybe not new. I'm surprised we didn't already know this was there. I thought the ocean bottoms were thoroughly mapped. Clearly not.

From the first two links: "Was the crust never there? Was it once there but then torn away on huge geological faults? If so, then how and why?"
posted by Listener at 12:22 PM on March 5, 2007


"The USA continent is pulling away from Europe and Africa at the rate of 2cm a year...

Obviously flawed science. The casual observer clearly sees Europe and Africa pulling away. The USA stands firm and never wavers.
posted by hal9k at 12:25 PM on March 5, 2007 [13 favorites]


I think that the black hole that crashed at Tunguska kept on going and shot back out through this hole.
posted by brundlefly at 12:25 PM on March 5, 2007


speaking of "The team" Sam Unsworth pretty hot, but she dosn't hold a candle to Chris Mallows
posted by delmoi at 12:33 PM on March 5, 2007


I think I speak for all Americans when I ask: "Can we dump our trash in it?"
posted by boo_radley at 12:51 PM on March 5, 2007 [6 favorites]


Yeah, that Mallows gent is a real dream boat.
posted by brundlefly at 12:53 PM on March 5, 2007


There is a USA continent?
posted by uncle harold at 12:54 PM on March 5, 2007 [4 favorites]


Liquid hot MAGMA!
posted by spicynuts at 12:56 PM on March 5, 2007


Clearly, this is where Mother Earth has been hiding her WMD's.
posted by mkultra at 12:57 PM on March 5, 2007


I think I speak for all Americans when I ask: "Can we dump our trash in it?"

Sure, start dumping your trash onto R'lyeh. See where that gets you.

Devoured, that's where.

Unless, of course, Dread Cthulu gets his tentacles caught in one of those plastic beer can holder things.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:57 PM on March 5, 2007 [10 favorites]


We broke it. This is why we can't have nice things.
posted by cairnish at 1:04 PM on March 5, 2007 [4 favorites]


Darkseid!!!!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:04 PM on March 5, 2007


The crust is missing!
from my sandwich.
posted by ninjew at 1:04 PM on March 5, 2007


Although parts of the mantle are as hot as 4,300 C, the mantle they are talking about is not some kind of undersea lake of lava (like I first pictured); it's a plain serpentine rock. The mantle differs chemically from the crust because of, I gather, temperature and pressure changes as deeper material wells up during crust formation. I'm not a geologist, but "gaping open wound" may not be the best metaphor for this situation.
posted by zennie at 1:06 PM on March 5, 2007


The scientific team isn't ragtag enough to make this compelling to me. Can't they include at least one guy who was just recently in jail or something?
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 1:10 PM on March 5, 2007 [5 favorites]


The earth is a giant egg ready to hatch a space dragon. Sorry to be the one to tell you.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 1:10 PM on March 5, 2007


That's totally where God's wanger goes.
posted by saysthis at 1:11 PM on March 5, 2007 [1 favorite]


It may not be the best metaphor, zennie, but it's certainly the AWESOMEST.
posted by brundlefly at 1:12 PM on March 5, 2007


I'm worried about this expedition. So many redshirts.
posted by cairnish at 1:12 PM on March 5, 2007


I understand there’s a bucket in the hole that is in disrepair also...

Y’know, very few people seem to notice we live in about a 1 - 2 mile thick band around the earth. We keep getting these reminders how damn fragile and precariously balanced life is. I mean, frick. The mantle. That just scares the hell out of me.
posted by Smedleyman at 1:12 PM on March 5, 2007


Can't they include at least one guy who was just recently in jail or something?

Totally, and he has to be a grizzled veteran who's been out of the game ever since "the accident."

"I have blood on my hands."
*downs shot of whiskey*
posted by brundlefly at 1:15 PM on March 5, 2007 [4 favorites]


I saw this mentioned the other day in the comments of the awesomest map evar.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 1:18 PM on March 5, 2007


Listener writes "I'm surprised we didn't already know this was there. I thought the ocean bottoms were thoroughly mapped. Clearly not."

Maybe when they say no crust they mostly mean crust only a few centimetres to metres deep. It would be tough to see that without actually looking for it, especially at 5000m.
posted by Mitheral at 1:20 PM on March 5, 2007


Great. On April 17, a thupooky photo will appear on their blog. It will be a hand stretched up from the murky depths. Followed by no updates.

Ha ha, Trent. We get it, okay?
posted by hal9k at 1:39 PM on March 5, 2007


They better watch what they do there, or we all might learn the true meaning of the word "earth shattering orgasm."
posted by The Light Fantastic at 1:39 PM on March 5, 2007


Finally, a catastrophic environmental event that humanity DIDN'T cause! Hooray!

I takes my blessings where I can finds 'em.
posted by emjaybee at 1:44 PM on March 5, 2007


A determatologist recently told me that I should fill skin fissures with super glue; it completely seals the wound and will get pushed out as the skin heals.

So here's a vote for a super tanker full of super glue and a really long applicator.
posted by The Straightener at 1:46 PM on March 5, 2007


I think it must be infected. There are waves of pus washing up all over the east coast. Oddly it seems to be gravitating to Washington DC.
posted by tkchrist at 1:55 PM on March 5, 2007


Voyage au centre de la terre
posted by jouke at 2:09 PM on March 5, 2007


I really want to ask a serious question about this discovery, but it looks like the peanut gallery has taken the helm here.
posted by rolypolyman at 2:17 PM on March 5, 2007


I'm so sorry.

Truly, I am.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 2:18 PM on March 5, 2007 [2 favorites]


See also Project Mohole and Chikyu Hakken. Guess an expensive hole in the ground is no longer necessary to study the mantle.
posted by humanfont at 2:19 PM on March 5, 2007


rolypolyman: I really want to ask a serious question about this discovery, but it looks like the peanut gallery has taken the helm here.

Then be the first person to take a step in a serious direction. Both serious conversation and Teh Funnay can coexist on the blue.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 2:23 PM on March 5, 2007


Everyone, everyone. Quiet down now. You two in the back, ninjew and brundlefly--hush up. Saysthis, don't think I'm afraid to send you to Mr. Haughey's office.

I have everyone's attention? Good. Rolypolyman has something to say.

Rolypolyman?
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 2:24 PM on March 5, 2007


Hooray! Now that we know the real cause for global warming, we can let the car manufacturers get us back to the good ol days of 8 mpg.
posted by asfuller at 2:31 PM on March 5, 2007


You put your weed in there!
posted by staggernation at 2:50 PM on March 5, 2007 [2 favorites]


Is this really a problem? Hasn't this "wound" been there for a long, long, long time? Are there really any disastrous ramifications?
posted by inconsequentialist at 2:58 PM on March 5, 2007


When the pictures came back, they found...
a fly on the wart on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea

(repeat)
posted by evilcolonel at 3:12 PM on March 5, 2007


A scientific team from Cardiff, huh? I wonder if the hole is of alien origin…
posted by Fenriss at 3:31 PM on March 5, 2007


A determatologist recently told me that I should fill skin fissures with super glue; it completely seals the wound and will get pushed out as the skin heals.

Provided you don't leave any gaps under it, where an infection could abcess. Abscess? Something like that.
posted by five fresh fish at 3:34 PM on March 5, 2007


Notify craigslist. If we're lucky, Galactus will offer us a deal within a week.
posted by Smart Dalek at 3:45 PM on March 5, 2007


As any fan of Pizza Hut pizza knows, you always eat the crust first.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:55 PM on March 5, 2007


Serious: I suspect some department flunky is exaggerating this for effect.

My understanding from the press release is that what has been discovered is a section of the mid-Atlantic ridge system with rocks formed by a previously unknown process millions of years ago.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 4:00 PM on March 5, 2007


Looks like our Celestial is finally ready to hatch. It's up to the Eternals to save us! Or possibly Franklink Richards.
posted by Midnight Creeper at 4:02 PM on March 5, 2007


Neat. I meant to post this myself as I've been following this for a while.

Looks like the first entry in the diary is finally up!:

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
posted by Anything at 4:38 PM on March 5, 2007


There was a mission under ground,
so the sent some explorers down.

But the crewmen of any worth,
died on the journery to the center,
of
the
earth!

So we're left with Johnny Tamberine
A grumpy robot machine
and Saul Malone
the defacto leader of the team!

He's Saul of the molemen x 3

I'm sorry
posted by The Power Nap at 5:04 PM on March 5, 2007


Hopefully David Stevenson doesn’t plant a nuke in it.
Also they’re mixing their Jules Verne up, bit more Professor Lidenbrock than Nemo.
posted by Smedleyman at 5:06 PM on March 5, 2007


This is a very interesting geological item -- thank you louigi -- such a pity that the press releases are such melodramatic crap.
So far I haven't located a more informative (and less breathless OMG!) description of the project.
posted by speug at 5:38 PM on March 5, 2007


The second article says that the discovery defies science. Nothing defies science. That's the point of science: to figure out things you don't understand. Not to say that anything you don't understand defies understanding. These journalists suck.
posted by number9dream at 6:03 PM on March 5, 2007


The proper name for the hole is The Scar.
posted by dhruva at 6:21 PM on March 5, 2007


SWEET.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 7:34 PM on March 5, 2007


Very cool and interesting post, and actually, pretty funny comments here too.
posted by serazin at 9:21 PM on March 6, 2007


Welcome to planet goatse
posted by qvantamon at 11:25 PM on March 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


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