Hey kids! Great source of lecithin & beef fat!

March 5, 2007 9:50 PM

Newsweek deconstructs the ever-so smashable Twinkie of our childhoods. Mmm.
(previously)
posted by miss lynnster (38 comments total)

Growing up in Philadephia, home of the Tastykake Krimpet, we had a much healthier alternative.

I like how in the first link there is a Newsweek cover with Guliani's photo under the caption "The Real Rudy" right next to the title of the article "A new book 'deconstructs' a Twinkie and analyzes all 39 ingredients. Industrial-strength junk food, anyone?".... Industrial-strength junk food indeed.
posted by three blind mice at 10:00 PM on March 5, 2007

That list of ingredients: yuck! I can't believe people still eat this kind of crap. What irked me a little is how the Newsweek blurb (from the "deconstructs" link) mentions that there are 39 suspect ingredients in Twinkies, but then goes on to list only 9 of them. Maybe since they're reviewing (for want of a better term) a book, they don't want to give away all the info? But it's supposed to be a news magazine, it's supposed to be informative. Newsweek sucks.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:19 PM on March 5, 2007

miss lynnster is such a twinkie. She did not link to any pages that give the actual ingrediens like Wiki, or the BBC. Wiki does not say what purpose could be served by Sodium stearoyl lactylate or Calcium caseinate.

The BBC article warns:

Basically, shove your Twinkie on the plate and microwave for about one minute. One of two things will happen:

• Your Twinkie will explode, covering your microwave in countless flecks of sponge, piping hot cream and burnt cake. Do not open the oven straight away as the Twinkie is hot. Leave it for a minute or two, don your best rubber gloves and scrub away.
• If your Twinkie doesn't explode, it will burn instead, saturating your kitchen and clothes with a curious burnt plastic smell that will permeate your skin, your walls and your very dreams. If you smell the Twinkie burning, turn off the microwave and leave it alone for several minutes as it may explode for a while after.

Yum. Burnt twinkies smell like plastic.
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 10:28 PM on March 5, 2007

Yeah well. I may be a twinkie but I know how to turn my bold off... ;)
posted by miss lynnster at 10:32 PM on March 5, 2007 [1 favorite]

(sorry about the above bold.)

I also wanted to mention that the ingredients cannot be found on the Official Tiwinke site.
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 10:33 PM on March 5, 2007

Heh heh! That official Twinkie site is a laff riot! Like this:

"Many of the 500 million Twinkies sold every year spark wonderful creative impulses, as moms, dads, school teachers and kids take to their kitchens to invent gourmet recipes, including Twinkie Shortcake, Twinkie Misu and Twinkie Sushi."

Mmmmmmm!!! Wonderfully creative impulses!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:37 PM on March 5, 2007

adds "Twinkie Sushi" to the list of phrases I never dreamed I'd see...
posted by pax digita at 10:45 PM on March 5, 2007

three blind mice: Growing up in Philadephia, home of the Tastykake Krimpet, we had a much healthier alternative.

At least the Taskykak website lists the ingredients and gives allergy warnings:

Sugar, Bleached Enriched Flour (Wheat Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate-B1, Riboflavin-B2, Folic Acid), Water, Eggs, Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable Shortening (Canola, Soybean and/or Cottonseed Oils), Corn Syrup, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Cornstarch, Butter, Skim Milk, Leavening (Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Baking Soda, Monocalcium Phosphate, Calcium Sulfate), Whey (milk), Tapioca Flour, Salt, Isolated Soy Protein, Mono and Diglycerides, Food Starch - Modified, Soy Lecithin, Xanthan Gum, Pectin, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Sorbic Acid (to preserve freshness), Propylene Glycol Monostearate, Citric Acid, Nutmeg.

Manufactured in a facility that uses nuts.

Fewer chemicals and I actually understand most of those. Throw out the 'partially hydrogenated' and it would be better.

It seems Twinkies does not want to publicize their chemical ingredients.
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 10:58 PM on March 5, 2007

Never heard of Tastykake before, despite my numerous trips to Philly. Gotta try one when I can now, though I don't recall ever eating a Twinkie before...

Tastykake also gets points from me just for using the same background colour as MeFi. Nothing like loading a page and thinking something brokedown midclick.
posted by myopicman at 11:07 PM on March 5, 2007

myopicman: Tastykake also gets points from me just for using the same background colour as MeFi.

Actually that Tastykake page uses this jpeg as a background image and it doesn't have just one color - I haven't checked to see if it contains MeFi's blue.

Anyway I can't understand why that background shows One Liberty Plaza rather than Ciity Hall with its famous statue of William Penn which can be fit into the same view.
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 11:33 PM on March 5, 2007

It's very important that we eliminate all chemicals from our diet.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 12:08 AM on March 6, 2007

It's very important that we eliminate all chemicals from our diet.

Hard to argue with that, Ethereal Bligh. Just came across this guide to food additives which, though I can't vouch for it's accuracy, looks like it might be a good, clear source of info on the subject.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 12:21 AM on March 6, 2007

Then again, like the ads used to say: "Without chemicals, life itself would be impossible".
posted by flapjax at midnite at 12:22 AM on March 6, 2007

miss lynnster is such a twinkie.

LOL. miss lynster rocks because she knows it's unhealthy to lard on the links in the FPP.

Anyway I can't understand why that background shows One Liberty Plaza rather than Ciity Hall with its famous statue of William Penn which can be fit into the same view.

Out with the old and in with the new maybe? Used to be a "gentlemen's agreement" that no building could be taller than Billy Penn's hat. One Liberty Plaza was the first building to break that barrier. It is the tallest building in Philadelphia and dominates the new skyline.
posted by three blind mice at 1:10 AM on March 6, 2007

T.W.I.N.K.I.E.S. stands for Tests With Inorganic Noxious Kakes In Extreme Situations.


Yeah, it's old, but still funny.
posted by Violet Hour at 1:20 AM on March 6, 2007

I've never had a twinkie. Are they yum?
posted by The Monkey at 3:11 AM on March 6, 2007

From Flapjax's link: "(Caffeine) also may make it harder to get pregnant (but don’t use it as a birth-control pill!)."

Uh oh. Now they tell me.
posted by miss lynnster at 4:58 AM on March 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

Ettlinger received no help from Hostess and its parent company, Interstate Brands Corp., despite appealing directly to the Vice President of Cake.

At long last, I have found my true calling in life.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:18 AM on March 6, 2007

MonkeySaltedNuts : your link is borked. background
posted by twine42 at 5:25 AM on March 6, 2007

The "deconstructs" is pretty classic "let's scare you so you'll buy our book/magazine". I mean, trying to make cornstarch look scary by saying "But it's more often used to make cardboard and packing peanuts"? That's just silly.

Also, trying to say that lecithin is bad because "It's also used in paint to keep pigments evenly dispersed"? What does it matter what else a product is used for? You know, I hear that water is often used in the production of sulfuric acid...

There are some real possible issues with food chemicals used, but cornstarch isn't one of them.
posted by skynxnex at 5:39 AM on March 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

Wood can be used for fires, and fires are deadly, so don't use paper!
posted by smackfu at 6:28 AM on March 6, 2007

Mmmm. Paper is yummy.
posted by miss lynnster at 6:30 AM on March 6, 2007

Probably yummier than Twinkies!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:41 AM on March 6, 2007

Right before y2k, I bought a box of special-edition Millenium Twinkies. They're in a silver foil box, and the twinkie cowboy is riding a rocket ship. I figure I'll put 'em on ebay in about 10 years, or eat them on our first trip to Mars.
posted by ericbop at 7:23 AM on March 6, 2007

Hard to argue with that, Ethereal Bligh.

I think you missed the joke, flapjacks.
posted by OmieWise at 7:43 AM on March 6, 2007

x
posted by OmieWise at 7:43 AM on March 6, 2007

That Newsweek writer is seriously out of touch if they
think that shortening, artificial vanilla, artificial butter,
and cornstarch are not commonly found in the pantry.
posted by the Real Dan at 10:18 AM on March 6, 2007

Also, trying to say that lecithin is bad because "It's also used in paint to keep pigments evenly dispersed"? What does it matter what else a product is used for?
Right on. The writer comes off as a total luddite. Lecithin is also an essential component of everyone's cellular membranes, but I guess that would be a little too wholesome sounding.
posted by exogenous at 11:12 AM on March 6, 2007

I nominate Dizzy for the post of Vice-President of Cake.
Is the motion seconded?
posted by Dizzy at 11:27 AM on March 6, 2007

I second the motion! I believe Dizzy would be an excellent Vice-President of Cake!
posted by Dizzy at 11:28 AM on March 6, 2007

I humbly accept this great honor and will assume all the rights and responsibilities of the Vice-President of Cake.
posted by Dizzy at 11:29 AM on March 6, 2007

Cake
posted by miss lynnster at 11:48 AM on March 6, 2007

I have it on pretty good authority that some of those ingredients in Twinkies are there for the sole purpose of protecting the world from being conquered by evil spacemen. Probably best that they remain secret.
posted by billyfleetwood at 12:13 PM on March 6, 2007

Too bad the office of Vice President of Cake is largely ceremonial. Maybe in 2009 you can get Bush to accept the President of Cake position.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 12:45 PM on March 6, 2007

bfwood--
I have seen these protocols. They are of the elders of muffins and have been largely discredited.
EthBli--
if by "ceremonial" you mean "I get to LICK THE BOWL whenever I WANT", then, yes, it is "ceremonial".
VPoC over and out!
posted by Dizzy at 12:49 PM on March 6, 2007

Nobody bakes a cake as tasty as a Tastycake.
posted by psmith at 9:15 PM on March 6, 2007

That is crazy talk, psmith.
VPoC orders you to drop and give me 20!

(20 packs of Delicious Tastycakes with Real Fruit Fillin', that is!)
posted by Dizzy at 1:22 AM on March 7, 2007

Tastykake rocks. Viva Philadelphia. Supposedly, it's the one thing that people who leave the region get a serious hankerin' for.

The only time I've ever had a Twinkie and ever thought of it as anything resembling cake was this one time that my girlfriend and I split a Twinkie dipped in dark chocolate. Beyond that, it was always "sponge food thing."
posted by graymouser at 8:01 AM on March 7, 2007