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March 8, 2007 1:50 AM   Subscribe

Calvin Klein is releasing a new fragrance for our "technosexual" generation: A typical line from the press materials for CK in2u goes like this: “She likes how he blogs, her texts turn him on. It’s intense. For right now.
posted by monaco (65 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
One suspects the sit at home and brood generation needs a variety of smells, not just one.
posted by vbfg at 2:07 AM on March 8, 2007


Is there anything in this world more pretentious and phony as fragrance marketing?
posted by Rhomboid at 2:11 AM on March 8, 2007 [2 favorites]


eau d'blogger

rotflmao
posted by johnny novak at 2:13 AM on March 8, 2007


but is it eau d'warblogger? I suppose that would be the smell of stale sweat, cheetos, and parent's basement?
posted by Justinian at 2:15 AM on March 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


Hmm..
wake me when they make the ROFLWAFFLE Iron and then maybe I'll buy into this whole "technosexual" thing.
posted by revmitcz at 2:20 AM on March 8, 2007


what. the. fuck.
posted by liquorice at 2:23 AM on March 8, 2007


Eau d'Allen-Bradley (i.e., the smell of burnt resistors) is what real technosexual men smell like.
posted by three blind mice at 2:26 AM on March 8, 2007


They should get Michael Richards to promote it.
posted by veedubya at 2:41 AM on March 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


The Idiocracy is coming faster as I expected.
posted by homodigitalis at 2:43 AM on March 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


Metafilter...pour homme
posted by oh pollo! at 2:45 AM on March 8, 2007 [5 favorites]


I love the smell of blogging in the morning. Smells like ... free coverage in the NYT.
posted by imperium at 2:53 AM on March 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


> She likes how he blogs, her texts turn him on. It’s intense. For right now.

He's 47, she's like totally 13.
posted by jfuller at 2:59 AM on March 8, 2007 [11 favorites]


Is there anything in this world more pretentious and phony as fragrance marketing?

If there is, you'd be hard-pressed to find it.
posted by VirtualWolf at 3:00 AM on March 8, 2007


One suspects the sit at home and brood generation needs a variety of smells, not just one.

BPAL.
posted by Slithy_Tove at 3:07 AM on March 8, 2007


Why does it take until paragraph seven before they even mention the name of the perfume? Couldn't this have been written in about two paragraphs (and had more impact).
posted by Summer at 3:09 AM on March 8, 2007


The NYT article is actually quite an interesting read. I wonder if anyone at CK realises that their target market can also be amazingly caustic and aggressively anti-marketing. And, thanks to the 'techno' in 'technosexual' the means of ridiculing their attempts at being hip can be made seen by more people than the actual adverts themselves.

The snark already here (and more to come) is just a little taste of how people are going to react to this. Props to CK for trying, but I can't see this being a runaway success like the original. CK2.0 just won't cut it, especially as they're not hiding the fact that it's a sequel to a popular fragrance.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:13 AM on March 8, 2007


CK2.0 just won't cut it

Yeah. No geek with any sense is going to wear it until CK2.3.
posted by eriko at 3:17 AM on March 8, 2007 [4 favorites]


> (and more to come)

He's 47, she's a 37 year old guy trolling MySpace for the LAPD.
posted by jfuller at 3:26 AM on March 8, 2007


Is there anything in this world more pretentious and phony as fragrance marketing?

If there is, you'd be hard-pressed to find it.


Have you looked anti-aging products lately? At least perfumes don't pretend to be anything other than smelly lifestyles. Last I checked I could be purified, sanctified, deified and immortalized by a facial scrub that contains more pseudo elements than there are real elements on the periodic table. That was about 100 years ago and I don't look a day over 44.
posted by srboisvert at 3:27 AM on March 8, 2007


If they develop a Cologne d'Internet Tough Guy, I am so there.
posted by psmealey at 3:56 AM on March 8, 2007


a name like eau de bum fight would sell better than ckin2u.
it's got its own cachet, doesn't need costly rationalizing with advertisements. it is what it is.
posted by nj_subgenius at 4:12 AM on March 8, 2007


iSmell
posted by Elmore at 4:14 AM on March 8, 2007 [3 favorites]


How to Bottle a Generation

Just get it to smell like lazy entitlement and moral indifference and you're there.
posted by psmealey at 4:19 AM on March 8, 2007


Is there anything in this world more pretentious and phony as fragrance marketing?

Blogging!

OK, not really. Well, pretentious definitely but probably not phony. Unless you count fake accounts.
posted by DU at 4:26 AM on March 8, 2007


"they are post-Abercrombie, post-Juicy Couture and over any number of scents derived from the essences of Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton."
Ewww. Did anyone here see 'Perfume'?
posted by vhsiv at 4:44 AM on March 8, 2007


MetaFilter is easier, cheaper and already has its own smell.
Sign up, paypal five bucks and urine!
posted by hal9k at 4:45 AM on March 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


I dunno, I looked at the picture in that Times link and this Zach dude looks like he smells like dirty underwear to me.
posted by The Straightener at 5:07 AM on March 8, 2007


The women’s scent includes notes of pink grapefruit, bergamot and red currant with a core of neon amber, the common denominator of all Calvin Klein scents. The men’s version of CK in2u is more beachy, with a salty mix of lime, cocoa and musk.

What is neon amber?
posted by pracowity at 5:20 AM on March 8, 2007


Ewww. Did anyone here see 'Perfume'?

Hey, if wearing their scent is all it takes to get 'em killed and boiled down, I'd be glad to take one for the team.
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:21 AM on March 8, 2007


im in ur pants, bloggn ur sex

(Damn, that's hot!!)
posted by LordSludge at 5:41 AM on March 8, 2007


She lustfully admired his muscular fingers as they moved gracefully over the keyboard, thinking to herself how gratifying it could be if only she could lure him away from the computer for a short while.

[meanwhile in the real world]

The odor of dirty laundry, mixed with dank basement and three days of unwashed body didn't faze Glenn Hugh Reynolds Hewitt as he munched Cheetos and pounded his pudenda while his pimply face reflected back from the monitor displaying a most perverted animal porn flick.
posted by nofundy at 5:41 AM on March 8, 2007


Pink grapefruit, bergamot, and red currant? Ridiculous.

The real geek perfume would be a subtle blend of styrofoam, musty used bookstore, and the fresh scent of a just-opened pack of Magic cards.

Mmmm.
posted by rifflesby at 5:48 AM on March 8, 2007


Yeah, and they'd call it like Gygax's Lotion of Extra Strength or some shit.
posted by The Straightener at 5:52 AM on March 8, 2007


Nerds being the least pretentious people in the world of course. ;-)
posted by i_cola at 6:03 AM on March 8, 2007


On the internet, no one knows what you smell like.
posted by macadamiaranch at 6:27 AM on March 8, 2007


The cool kids won't be into this at all. They'll stick with Axe.








;-)
posted by mds35 at 6:34 AM on March 8, 2007


Applied fragrances should be reserved for private playtime. Bringing that reek into a public area (like a movie theater or orchestra hall) is offensive. You can "shush" a noisy person, but what can you do about someone who stinks?
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:52 AM on March 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


The best part of this whole sordid affair is the website they've put up. Go on, register for an account on CKIN2U! They ask the hard-hitting questions:

I'm IN2 drinking:
* sparkling water
* beer
* champagne
* caipirinha
* dark coffee

I can't help but think they may have missed their target market here, because I see no option for Mountain Dew, Tang, or "coffee made with Water Joe and high-test beans." Dilettantes.
posted by Mayor West at 6:55 AM on March 8, 2007


Rhomboid wrote: "Is there anything in this world more pretentious and phony as fragrance marketing?"

Have you seen the ad claiming that your watch is the most important thing in your wardrobe? Nothing says more about yo and your personality than your fucking watch? That one just pisses me off with its banal stupidity.

I'm also thinking that trademarking the term "technosexual" is going to end up backfiring. From what I've seen, the terms most often used by the technically inclined are the ones that crop up by accident (such as "internets" and "pwned" for example) rather than crap invented as crass marketing ploys.

Then again, MySpace was a huge hit, so I could be wrong.
posted by caution live frogs at 6:59 AM on March 8, 2007


Oh man, caution live frogs, I immediately thought of that exact same commercial! I mean, your fucking watch? Arrrggghhh!
posted by saladin at 7:06 AM on March 8, 2007


She likes how he blogs, her texts turn him on.

Oh god. Does stringing together a bunch of trendy buzzwords for its own sake ever work? Memo to advertisers: nothing conveys the fact that you aren't "hip" and "with it" more effectively than that. Blogging and texting aren't novel to your "target market" the way they are to you. It's pretty insulting, actually, that you think you can just mention "tech-no-logy" and watch us swarm to you like flies to honey. Give us a little credit, sheesh.
posted by AV at 7:20 AM on March 8, 2007


"The name is written in the shorthand of an instant message, a casual invitation to sex so immediate as to imply there was no time to spell it out: 'in to you.'"

God bless the NYT for their dotage to the slow and out-of-it. In this article I can't tell if they're mocking the fragrance or walking behind the elephant with a broom and bucket.
posted by hermitosis at 7:21 AM on March 8, 2007


mds35: The cool kids won't be into this at all. They'll stick with Axe.

Hmmm.. I don't know...[Not safe for work]
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:35 AM on March 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


She likes Crystal Pepsi, her foot-wide fake gold earrings turn him on. It's the smell of a new generation.
posted by griphus at 8:11 AM on March 8, 2007


If only I could smell it over the internet.
posted by jon_kill at 8:16 AM on March 8, 2007


Then there's te ads for hair-coloring products that encourage you to show the world THE REAL YOU.
posted by BeerFilter at 8:19 AM on March 8, 2007


Sorry, CK, just not that in2u.
posted by klangklangston at 8:26 AM on March 8, 2007


bloggstarr: hey
lectricpanteez: hi 8-D
bloggstarr: got this new colone
lectricpanteez: sweet
lectricpanteez: cant wait 2 smell U
blogstarr: ismell like salty choclate
lectricpanteez: like on south park?
lectricpanteez: gross dude :P

posted by oneirodynia at 8:41 AM on March 8, 2007


any1 IN2 INXS?
posted by davebush at 8:51 AM on March 8, 2007


Their first draft was Calvin Klein A/S/L?
posted by klangklangston at 8:56 AM on March 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


My throat just exploded.

Carry on.

Also: technosex. [more-or-less SFW]
posted by Drexen at 8:57 AM on March 8, 2007


"Gee, you sure do stink purty!" [imagined Deliverance line]
posted by nofundy at 9:20 AM on March 8, 2007


Is there anything in this world more pretentious and phony as fragrance marketing?

Fragrance ads are the worst. Most are self-parody, especially Calvin Klein. This actual parody pops into my head all the time [youtube].
posted by peep at 9:53 AM on March 8, 2007


Metafilter: It’s intense. For right now.
posted by unSane at 10:22 AM on March 8, 2007


I'm sure this fragrance will hit the "technosexual" mark just as well as CK One evidently hit the "grunge" mark.
posted by hypocritical ross at 11:09 AM on March 8, 2007


But will it be able to compete with Vulva!
posted by inconsequentialist at 11:26 AM on March 8, 2007


Ewww. Did anyone here see 'Perfume'?

I read it instead.

*kicks it old skool*

...and my flatmate had a kitten called Suskind - about whom I have a number of innapropriate stories.

But anyhow. I reckon a fragrance called LonelyGirl15 would sell by the metric shitload.
posted by Sparx at 1:14 PM on March 8, 2007


How much will the MAKE crowd have to grow before they try to market a fragrance that's reminds you of rosin core or 5 minute epoxy.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 3:02 PM on March 8, 2007


This "technosexual" fragrance, it...comes with hot pockets?
posted by Smedleyman at 3:27 PM on March 8, 2007


Too late?
posted by Smedleyman at 5:01 PM on March 8, 2007


Calvin Klein's Dogfucker -- for the animal in you.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:29 PM on March 8, 2007


I imagine they're after the folks who think MySpace is a critical component of their social lives -- people to which ad copy like "she likes the way he blogs," etc, probably seems at least somewhat less trite than it does from our perspective.

That said, it's still a pretty crappy idea. In terms of pretentious perfume marketing, I have to give the Demeter people a nod for having pretentious perfume marketing that's at least amusing. I mean, they can sell women on a smell called "funeral home." That's got to count for something.
posted by Alterscape at 6:14 PM on March 8, 2007


I think this would have been kind of interesting had it come out in, say, 1999. Now it feels like an ad targeted at that new hot demographic, the telephone generation! Say "Hello, Operator?" to passion!

I'd totally be turned on by a girl wearing scent-of-used-bookstore or hot-electronics, though. Not so much 5-minute epoxy --- that stuff smells like poison to me.
posted by hattifattener at 7:25 PM on March 8, 2007


My blog's so sexy you couldn't handle it.

BlogFeisty - For women on the virtual prowl!™
posted by liquorice at 8:12 PM on March 8, 2007


Is there anything in this world more pretentious and phony as fragrance marketing?

Ever watch C-SPAN?
posted by ZenMasterThis at 11:02 AM on March 9, 2007


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