Comments on: Is that a crotch-to-air missle in your pocket or are you just OH MY GOD RUN

Is that a crotch-to-air missle in your pocket or are you just OH MY GOD RUN

loquacious — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 16:50:31 -0800

The Codpiece [coral cache] - An illustrated review of what is quite possibly one of the worst comic books of all time. (Not safe for anyone.)

By: nola

nola — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 16:55:37 -0800

Does this load slow for anyone else?

By: loquacious

loquacious — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 16:59:48 -0800

Yeah, the server looks like it's going to tip over. For slow servers, please use this Coral Cache link.

By: Steven C. Den Beste

Steven C. Den Beste — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 17:08:25 -0800

BOOBIE MISSILES! In the anime Mahoromatic Mahoro, the title character, is a retired combat android working as a maid. (It's a long story.) At one point when it's thought that she's in danger, her parent organization issues her a special bra, and when she says "Boobie Missiles" the bra cups transform into missiles which strike the enemy and destroy it. I can't get this site to load, but it can't be any stranger than that was. (It was animated!)

By: grobstein

grobstein — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 17:14:48 -0800

BOOBIE MISSILES! Don't forget the video for Supercar's "White Surf Style 5" (mefi, youtube). Also, I think the boob-missiles there are lifted from some early robot anime, but I'm not sure.

By: terpsichoria

terpsichoria — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 17:16:09 -0800

Pollack's Doom Patrol never lived up to the Morrison glory days, of course, but this is still some grade-A comic crack. I'm not sure I can entirely imagine a world in which this is 'one of the worst comic books of all time', but I'm certainly glad I don't live there. More (Morrison) Doom Patrol Marvellousness.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 17:21:42 -0800

Ain't no Beard hunter, that's for damn sure. *Curls up into a ball, whispers "Doom Patrol ended with #63, yesyesyes, #63, no Doom Patrol after that, no sir, nonono..."* MeFi FunFact #40784: MetaFilter's Very Own^TM Superfrankenstein edited the last 20 issues or so of Teh Bestest Comic Series Evar.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 17:23:47 -0800

Curse your eyes, terpsichoria! How did you know forgetting to preview my comments was my one weakness?!?

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 17:31:39 -0800

Upon non-preview, I see that your Scans_Daily links aren't the same as mine. *Retracts curse, shuts up, slinks off*

By: empath

empath — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 17:39:37 -0800

That book is in now way the worst comic of the 90s, let alone of all time. There's absolutely no way that a Vertigo comic would be in that category.

By: empath

empath — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 17:39:58 -0800

(is in no way)

By: terpsichoria

terpsichoria — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 17:40:52 -0800

Beard Hunter = enormous win, I was lazy and picked the first three posts.

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 17:43:56 -0800

More worst comic books ever. Still more worst comic books ever. Yet still more worst comic books ever. Even yet still more worst comic books ever. Lamest superheroes ever. Comic. Book. Guy.

By: zabuni

zabuni — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 17:50:52 -0800

And who could forget Mr Kitty's Stupid Comics

By: anthill

anthill — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 17:54:23 -0800

Cock punch!

By: Artw

Artw — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 18:00:28 -0800

Hmm... you know mocking something that is already a satire of something fairly crap for being itself being crap is poor form, even if the satire is written by Rachel Pollack and therefore a bit rubbish.

By: empath

empath — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 18:05:04 -0800

Yeah, it's kinda like making fun of Scary Movie for not being scary.

By: jessenoonan

jessenoonan — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 18:10:40 -0800

Artw wins. There are plenty of comic books that are unintentionally bad. Making fun of something that makes fun of those just makes it look like you "don't get it."

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 18:54:13 -0800

It is pretty funny though.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 19:08:53 -0800

Artw wins. There are plenty of comic books that are inintentionally bad. Making fun of something that makes fun of those just makes it look like you "don't get it." And whom, exactly, is not "getting it" here? The satirer or the satiree? Evan Dorkin would cockpunch these half-assed tracing-artists into a bukakke-coma. Just because it's satire doesn't mean it, itself, is free from mocking. Please. That dude has scissors coming out of his robotic crotch. That's not satire. That's the fevered imaginations of someone who has been huffing paint thinner a bit too long.

By: infini

infini — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 19:30:29 -0800

Reminds me of Carter Nash... "Captain Nice".. yes I'm old but not that old.

By: kickback

kickback — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 19:41:10 -0800

In my mind, anything other people say to him are just hallucinations he's having. i think it's great. Taking the one hillariously bad comic, and making it a badge for his misspent youth. eskimo. es-ki-mo~

By: jason's_planet

jason's_planet — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 19:43:04 -0800

Do not let superpowered transgendered individuals who used to be prostitutes wearing frog masks touch your willy. Holy shit. In my neighborhood, there are, like, A WHOLE BUNCH of superpowered transgendered individuals who wear frog masks AND they hang out two blocks from my train station. If I hadn't encountered this web page, I might actually have let one of them touch my willy. Thank you for posting this, loquacious. Whew!

By: whir

whir — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 19:45:58 -0800

That dude has scissors coming out of his robotic crotch. That's not satire. Huh? I just can't agree. I mean, to criticize it as weak satire is fine, but to criticize it because the very idea of it is absurd seems a bit off the mark. It seems to me that the comic is mocking the whole idea of superpowers / supersuits as juvenile male fantasy inspired by feelings of inadequacy, and that's the whole point of the super-penis. (Uh... If you will.)

By: verb

verb — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 19:49:27 -0800

Keep in mind, this was Doom Patrol.

By: maryh

maryh — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 19:50:12 -0800

I'm sort of partial to Manuel Pacifico, Tuna Fisherman, who stops at nothing to bag the tuna. Or something. Okay, maybe he's not that super, but his name makes me snicker. I'm so immature.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 19:55:35 -0800

Worst? People don't understand what the word "worst" means. This is clearly the greatest comic of all time.

By: dhartung

dhartung — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 19:57:12 -0800

I agree, there's something amiss in mocking satire without acknowledging the essential satire. Yes, it's absurd. It's absurd because it's pointing out the absurdity of the thing by making it impossibly absurd. Ripping apart a satire for being a bad satire, though, that's something different -- he should try it sometime.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 20:08:02 -0800

Huh? I just can't agree. I mean, to criticize it as weak satire is fine I am. However, I can't speak for the writer of the review.

By: bruce

bruce — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 20:28:40 -0800

one time in law school i dropped into a little chinese place for lunch, and there was the special du jour on the blackboard: sweet and sour cod pieces

By: squidfartz

squidfartz — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 20:31:37 -0800

Wow. I followed Doom Patrol back when the Scissor Men appeared and loved it, but this was a suprise. Not a good one.

By: gorgor_balabala

gorgor_balabala — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 20:33:47 -0800

Thanks to ZachsMind, I fell in love tonight -- with Arm Fall Off Boy. But the funniest thing is when comicbook geeks get all bent out of shape and start foaming: "God, that 'Arm Fall Off Boy' -- He had the balls to try to get into the Superpower League??? With what 'powers', exactly? He was WEAK, people! Utterly WEAK!!!"

By: loquacious

loquacious — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 20:40:24 -0800

sweet and sour cod pieces Oddly enough I just saw a store who had those for sale. In the window, no less. They looked like they might have been cherry flavored. They certainly were... red. And codpiece-y. Granted, I just moved to San Francisco and I was on the #24 crosstown MUNI bus going through the Castro District, so your particular storefront mileage may vary.

By: sweet mister

sweet mister — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 20:43:07 -0800

You remember that magazine ASTOUNDING SCIENCE FICTION? The Codpiece is more Astounding.

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 21:11:41 -0800

Thank you for this. Grant Morrison is a cod among mortals. Also, the premise behind the superhero known as The Quiz amuses me to no end.

By: hattifattener

hattifattener — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 00:10:41 -0800

Dunno, my previous encounters with Rachael Pollack were Unquenchable Fire and Temporary Agency — both of which I liked — and The Codpiece was really nowhere as odd as I expected from those.

By: metasonix

metasonix — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 00:56:27 -0800

Cool....never seen the Codpiece before. That gives me an idea for a comic....

By: Grangousier

Grangousier — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 01:20:41 -0800

The piece of cod that passeth all understanding.

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 06:08:38 -0800

That was sheer brillance. I want it made into a movie.

By: phaedon

phaedon — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 14:48:27 -0800

Puts a whole new meaning to "Sugar Tits". Fuck me, that site rocks.

By: mkhall

mkhall — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 15:54:24 -0800

I liked Pollack's run on DP. Sure, she was no Morrison, but really, who is? Morrison isn't even the same Morrison he was then. Also, anyone who thinks this is one of the worst comics of all time is operating with a very small sample.

By: Superfrankenstein

Superfrankenstein — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 16:37:29 -0800

I was the editor who hired Rachel to write Doom Patrol--my favorite title, and hers, too--and I'd do it again. I expected that, hit or miss, she'd express her own personality, her own sensibility, and not some warmed-over, received, karaoke comic book bullshit. DP deserved no less, and she delivered. I wish she'd write more comics.

By: Superfrankenstein

Superfrankenstein — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 16:41:30 -0800

I forgot to add: The Codpiece could beat the Mirror Master with one ball tied behind his back. Which would hurt.

By: lekvar

lekvar — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 17:08:41 -0800

Really, there is/was nobody who could have taken filled the gap that Morrison left when he quit the Doom Patrol. Rachel Pollack did a good job, considering the shoes to she had to fill. And if people thought the Codpiece is weird, they never read Flex Mentallo, Man of Muscle Mystery.

By: Ritchie

Ritchie — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 20:01:43 -0800

Agreed, phaedon:

Rules of the Brain Worm: #1: Don't do drugs. #1a: Don't perform oral sex on people with an alien in their pants. #2: Don't ever join a Fraternity or a Sorority. #2a: Never store mass quantities of human brains in your basement. #3: Do not poke alien larva with a stick. #4: Do not poke alien larva with a stick. #5: See that stick? It's not for poking alien larva.

By: phaedon

phaedon — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 20:18:16 -0800

Ritchie, from the swamp thing review: Get this: The Leech-Thing has a random goofy guy pinned to a tree. His horrible fanged maw is about to suck moist tissue right off the guy when he hears a noise. Now instead of just turning his head to see what it is, the Leech Thing pushed the guy away and takes a step back as if he wasn't doing anything wrong. It's a classic "Oh Crap, it's the Cops....act cool" moment. You see, Leech Thing has obviously heard this noise before. He knows what's coming. (On a related note, I really wish the Leech Thing could talk. I can just imagine it trying to pretend it wasn't just about to eat the guy: "No, everything's cool, officer. I was....uh...just helping this guy look for his glasses. Really.") But what the hell could a giant Leech monster have to be afraid of?

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 21:22:49 -0800

Doom Patrol creator Arnold Drake died yesterday. .

By: Methylviolet

Methylviolet — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 10:19:21 -0800

This is fantastic. Excellent, wonderful, great.