The Camel Toe Report

March 13, 2007 9:26 PM

The Camel Toe Report[some onsite ads NSFW, certainly questionable at best] is dedicated to documenting camel toe sightings in the wild. Rate My Camel Toe goes one step beyond, offering viewers the opportunity to weigh in on the "best" and "worst" camel toes. Even celebrities get camel toe from time to time.
posted by grapefruitmoon (72 comments total)

And I'll be in my bunk...
posted by peeedro at 9:34 PM on March 13, 2007

Um, about that "celebrities" link: no mentioning that $cientological Cyclops on Metafilter! We might all get sued to death!
posted by davy at 9:42 PM on March 13, 2007

I appreciate your dedication but I'm not clicking any of those links.
posted by loquacious at 9:45 PM on March 13, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

You know, I enjoy vaginas as much as anyone possibly could, but I've never really 'got' the cameltoe thing.
posted by jonmc at 9:50 PM on March 13, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

oh dear.
posted by exlotuseater at 9:51 PM on March 13, 2007

is this really a post?
posted by tonyreunion at 10:02 PM on March 13, 2007

if you see a woman without a cameltoe, consider that she might be an angel, because angels have no genitalia.
posted by bruce at 10:04 PM on March 13, 2007

I'd be interested in knowing your motivation for this post. Did you see a camel toe and think "that needs to be on metafilter"? Not that I don't enjoy camel toes, but this is pretty random.
posted by puke & cry at 10:04 PM on March 13, 2007

I was pleasantly surprised. I was expecting something pornographic and stupid, but the Camel Toe Report is actually well written and quite funny.
posted by Jasper Friendly Bear at 10:04 PM on March 13, 2007

grapefruitmoon, I suspect that were you not of the feminine persuasion, you'd be getting roundly slammed right now for posting these links to the blue...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:08 PM on March 13, 2007

You didn't check you "rate my camel" toe then, did you?
posted by puke & cry at 10:08 PM on March 13, 2007

I find that most camel toes have sand in them.
posted by tellurian at 10:09 PM on March 13, 2007

check out. And that was a reply to Jasper.
posted by puke & cry at 10:09 PM on March 13, 2007

Whoa, now that I've checked out camel to report, it's very pornographic and appears to feature a video sex chat on the front page.
posted by puke & cry at 10:12 PM on March 13, 2007

Dude, porn? Really? That's what you wanted to share with everyone?
posted by fandango_matt at 10:13 PM on March 13, 2007

Girl that’s gotta hurt
Take some time and adjust
Can’t you see people staring
And making a fuss
Could not believe my eyes
Had to take a second glance
Is your crotch hungry girl?
Cause it’s eating your pants
posted by Kwantsar at 10:14 PM on March 13, 2007

Okay, Kwantsar, I gotta know (and quick, before this post gets deleted!) Who wrote that?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:16 PM on March 13, 2007

puke & cry, you're right I didn't check out the "rate my camel" site. Looking at it now, it's what I was expecting the Camel Toe Report to be (stupid & pornographic).

On the Camel Toe Report, I though stuff like this was pretty good. On Laura Bush:

"Here we see Laura Bush and some sort of religious official who looks like Karl Rove. Maybe that is Karl Rove and they just have him shadow (sometimes in costume) the Bushes the way that Tom Cruise assigns a Scientologist 24/7/365 to think and speak for his "girlfriend". Anything to stay on message. The popularity (according to surveys) of Laura Bush is a mystery to me...what is there to like (or dislike)? This woman defines milquetoast, either by accident of birth or perhaps by design and calculation. Perhaps it is that she is so bland that anyone can project on to her whatever they want. I am not necessarily saying that she is dull or smart or interesting, just that there's no way to know if she is or isn't. A homemaker/political Rorschach all in one. This much is clear, she never really had that sexy librarian thing going on... with or without Toe... and if her husband weren't President she certainly wouldn't be stopping traffic like she is in this photo"
posted by Jasper Friendly Bear at 10:17 PM on March 13, 2007

I smoke Camels. I just placed one between my toes but was unable to bring it to my mouth. So I failed in my attempt to have a smokin' cameltoe.
posted by jonmc at 10:19 PM on March 13, 2007

Previously...
posted by dazed_one at 10:20 PM on March 13, 2007

flapjax at midnite: It's from fanny pack - camel toe.

And yeah, this isn't too cool. And besides the on-site ads, pretty much everything here is NSFW. Kind of a weak post.
posted by puke & cry at 10:20 PM on March 13, 2007

Camel pics? Where? I only saw one picture of a camel, and a person was in the way. NEXT!
posted by ZachsMind at 10:22 PM on March 13, 2007

This post is as weak as a pre-Super Serum Steve Rogers.
posted by scalefree at 10:27 PM on March 13, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

The reason this got posted is that the very existence of this site blew my freaking mind. There was mention of camel toe while watching some program at a friend's house tonight and there was a followup mention of "cameltoe dot org" and it shocked the bejesus out of me that such a thing could possibly exist. And lo.

I thought that others would have a similar "Wow. That is WEIRD." reaction.

NSFW stuff gets posted around here all the time. I mean, I get that this is not the most intelligent of posts, but I firmly defend its right to stand on the merits of being a conglomeration of webspace devoted to one stupid topic. It's been done before.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:32 PM on March 13, 2007

(Also: Karl Lagerfeld is also, er, featured in the celebrities link in a photo that made me question all that is holy about high fashion.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:33 PM on March 13, 2007

Oh, grapefruitmoon, how long have you been On The Internet?
posted by clockzero at 10:36 PM on March 13, 2007

Aw, hell. I thought we were going here with this.
posted by pjern at 10:36 PM on March 13, 2007

I liked it.
posted by brain_drain at 10:40 PM on March 13, 2007

[this isn't good]
posted by fandango_matt at 10:41 PM on March 13, 2007

THIS SHOCKS YOU. IT SHOCKS YOU.
posted by puke & cry at 10:42 PM on March 13, 2007

The reason this got posted is that the very existence of this site blew my freaking mind.

Hmm... it sure didn't take much.
posted by c13 at 10:44 PM on March 13, 2007

I saw cameltoe.org YEARS ago and it was stupid then too.
posted by davy at 10:47 PM on March 13, 2007

Has that site in the first link been updated in the last two years? I used to get it sent to me from time to time, and the commentary was fairly humorous, not every time, but often enough.

If you're not on the beach in a swimsuit, and your genitalia are clearly outlined (M or F), you have failed the "I can dress myself" test for the day. See also: Spandex.
posted by maxwelton at 10:51 PM on March 13, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

i dunno dudes, im pretty impressed there's a hot or not clone that specializes in camel toes.
posted by phaedon at 11:01 PM on March 13, 2007

Oh, grapefruitmoon, how long have you been On The Internet?

Eleven years.

The reason this got posted is that the very existence of this site blew my freaking mind.

Hmm... it sure didn't take much.

Yes and no. I mean, I'm shocked by things like "camel toe dot org" but then I go and say things outloud about twoheaded child pornography that puts other people off their feed for weeks. I guess I'm easily blindsided by the weird, whereas I sort of specialize in the mortifying.

Sorry I'm the only one amused by stupid things. I'll remember this the next time one of you guys posts a one-link youtube to some guy eating his own foot or something.

Actually, I probably won't, I have a bad memory.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:06 PM on March 13, 2007

Sorry, grapefruitmoon, I just don't think this is a very good post. It's pretty much just a bunch of porno sites that are frankly, lame as all get-out. No personal dig against you but regardless of your reasons for posting it, I don't think it's metafilter worthy.

As an aside, I look out for your posts because they're usually of a high quality. This one just falls many levels below your usual threshold, imo.
posted by puke & cry at 11:19 PM on March 13, 2007

As an aside, I look out for your posts because they're usually of a high quality. This one just falls many levels below your usual threshold, imo.

Well, thanks for that. I'll try to be less lame in the future.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:21 PM on March 13, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

I'll remember this the next time one of you guys posts a one-link youtube to some guy monkey eating his own foot splooge or something.

Fixed that.
posted by MikeKD at 11:35 PM on March 13, 2007

John McEnro cameltoe? And the First Lady, too? Best of the web.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:41 PM on March 13, 2007

Metafilter's become such a boyzone.
posted by ODiV at 11:53 PM on March 13, 2007

This reminded me of L7's appearance as the band "Camel Toe" in John Water's Serial Mom. That stuffed pants gag still cracks me up.
posted by maryh at 11:57 PM on March 13, 2007

Heh heh... in Canada guys don't have a camel toe. It's called a 'moose knuckle'.
posted by Totally Zanzibarin' Ya at 12:00 AM on March 14, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Metafilter's become such a boyzone. - I agree with this and this site is the worse for the boyzee crowd.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 12:13 AM on March 14, 2007

Does anyone remember the "Read my lips" poster that was funny back in the George Sr. days?
posted by Goofyy at 12:35 AM on March 14, 2007

[This is old]
posted by dgaicun at 12:46 AM on March 14, 2007

dgaicun writes "[This is old]"

But not as old as Goofyy's joke.

Question: Can you actually have pornography in which all of the subjects are fully dressed?

jonmc writes "You know, I enjoy vaginas as much as anyone possibly could, but I've never really 'got' the cameltoe thing."

I don't think it's something you're supposed to enjoy, jonmc. I think the aim is mockery rather than sexual pleasure. In my experience, most avid camel toe spotters tend to be heterosexual women.

"Oh my God! Did you check out the toe on her? Leave the spandex back in the eighties where it belongs, honey..."
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:58 AM on March 14, 2007

grapefruitmoon writes "I guess I'm easily blindsided by the weird, whereas I sort of specialize in the mortifying. "

Heh. Thanks for that.
posted by peacay at 4:02 AM on March 14, 2007

The Camel Toe Report: 1 user marked this as a favorite: sluglicker
posted by peacay at 4:11 AM on March 14, 2007

The best of the web? REALLY?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:30 AM on March 14, 2007

Blindsided by the weird? This isn't really all that weird, is it? I mean, compared to some of the stuff I've seen in the blue, this is pretty pedestrian, straight-on and accessible.

Although I like to look at women as much as the next (hetero) guy, the concept seemed a little on the banal, fourteen-year-old-boy side of titillating -- much as we used to joke about "pressed ham" back in the day. But the socially observant, frequently mordantly funny writeups saved it for me.
posted by pax digita at 4:55 AM on March 14, 2007

Even though I didn't read any of the links, this post is fine grapefruitmoon.
posted by Captaintripps at 4:59 AM on March 14, 2007

The Camel Toe Report: 1 user marked this as a favorite: sluglicker

But he didn't favorite the FPP on snails, just below this one. That's odd.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:05 AM on March 14, 2007

Metafilter: I'll try to be less lame in the future.



FWIW, I have a friend who is prone to getting drunk in a bar and yelling at the top of his lungs:

CAMEL TOE!!!!

...or, alternatively,

MOOSE KNUCKLE!!!!

He would probably like this post.
posted by LordSludge at 6:45 AM on March 14, 2007

What about camel toads?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:51 AM on March 14, 2007

On my web site, the most hot linked picture is one of a 250lb Elvis impersonator with a skin-tight jump-suit and some sort of mutant camel toe. The second most hot-linked pic (and it's a distant second) is a photo of Maria Andersson from Sahara Hotnights. That tells me how America feels about its camel toe.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:02 AM on March 14, 2007

I just don't think this is a very good post.

We heard you the first seven times.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 7:31 AM on March 14, 2007

I came in here for this?

Man, after reading the post I was sure there would be a shitstorm in here.
posted by chundo at 7:40 AM on March 14, 2007

Always ready for a shitstorm.
posted by davy at 7:49 AM on March 14, 2007

Um. Okay, well, now that Metafilter is Fark, let's start in with the penis and breast posts too.
posted by kalessin at 8:45 AM on March 14, 2007

I just don't think this is a very good post.

We heard you the first seven times.


No kidding Puke & cry, give it a rest. We read ya loud & clear.
posted by aacheson at 9:56 AM on March 14, 2007

Metafilter has already become Fark, more or less.
posted by Tenuki at 10:25 AM on March 14, 2007

The reason this got posted is that the very existence of this site blew my freaking mind.

Stop.

Back slowly away from your computer, disconnect your network cable. Call your ISP and ask them to discontinue service.

If this shocks you, you simply should not be connected to the intertubeweb. I mean after goatse and tubgirl this is positively lame. On preview - 11 years and you are still shocked by things on the internet?
posted by jkaczor at 11:18 AM on March 14, 2007

You know, I enjoy cameltoe as much as anyone possibly could, but I've never really 'got' the vagina thing.
posted by hatchetjack at 12:32 PM on March 14, 2007

wow...this is a bad post in so many ways....
posted by HuronBob at 2:00 PM on March 14, 2007

There's this really great website with mullets on it. It's called MulletsGalore.com. Men and women can have mullets. Even celebrities.
posted by Frank Grimes at 6:31 PM on March 14, 2007

[not even close to being the best of the web]
posted by gen at 7:17 PM on March 14, 2007

This thread was redeemed by Mr. Crash Davis, with a small but supporting roll from Davy.

(Mmmm! Hot buttered bog rolls!)
posted by Goofyy at 7:34 PM on March 14, 2007

Hey, did anybody else notice this?

and hosted from Uranus March 14, 2007 7:01 AM PST
and hosted from Uranus March 14, 2007 7:01 AM PST

Favorited twice! I wanna do that!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:57 AM on March 15, 2007

I have a very important question.

Camel toe is a bifurcation observed on the ventral side of the subject. If the possessor of cameltoe turns around, and possibly bends over to make the area under discussion more clearly visible, is there a name for what can be seen?
posted by booksandlibretti at 9:54 PM on March 17, 2007

breakfast?
posted by peacay at 10:47 PM on March 17, 2007

As strongly as I agree with that sentiment, I was hoping for a term that's a bit more Googleable.
posted by booksandlibretti at 12:27 AM on March 18, 2007

I would love to help but either I don't know or I abide by the logic that says that all responses given in not-Askmetafilter must neither answer the question nor be helpful.
posted by peacay at 3:32 AM on March 18, 2007