Comments on: cheap cheesy local legends

cheap cheesy local legends

Melinika — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 12:57:53 -0800

The 50 (Greatest/Worst) Local TV Commercials (That Could Be Found On YouTube). A pretty good collection of weird, awful, hilarious, and just plain WTF local commercials.

By: puke & cry

puke & cry — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 13:15:38 -0800

I didn't see this one on there.

By: Dr-Baa

Dr-Baa — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 13:19:44 -0800

Montgomery "Just Like a Mini Mall" Thrift Outlet- Check. Eagle Insurance- Check. I approve of this list.

By: evilangela

evilangela — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 13:22:00 -0800

Been over three years since living in Chicago, and I almost had the Empire Carpet jingle out of my head... now I'll have to start all over again!

By: 23skidoo

23skidoo — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 13:29:21 -0800

Five Eight Eight, Two Three Hundred, EMPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 13:30:47 -0800

You gotta see the special man!

By: 23skidoo

23skidoo — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 13:33:59 -0800

Moo and Oink!

By: Ogre Lawless

Ogre Lawless — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 13:41:56 -0800

Is that the guy from the Geico commercials?

By: doctorschlock

doctorschlock — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 13:45:08 -0800

Peppertree farms gotta lotta heart...

By: ericb

ericb — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 13:46:30 -0800

1-800-54-GIANT...'Jordan's, No Longer Confused with Jordan Marsh...Main Street to Moody Street...left on Daniel Webster Highway'...'Bernie and Phyl's, Quality, Comfort and Price. That's Nice'....'My Name is Ernie Boch...Come on Down!'

By: grateful

grateful — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 13:48:04 -0800

Didn't we just talk about this a couple of weeks ago?

By: champthom

champthom — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 14:28:27 -0800

I can't believe they forgot Jack "The Hammer" Shapiro. Responsible for words of wisdom like "Need an SOB? I'M YOU'RE SOB!" and "I SUE DRUNKS!" I miss that man's commercials.

By: nola

nola — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 14:30:48 -0800

" Rax! Let us rack your balls" Hehe.

By: Target Practice

Target Practice — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 14:31:29 -0800

What the... fuck... was up with that Lincoln Auto Insurance commercial? I mean, they obviously had a bit of money for production. How did they manage to make a commercial that makes absolutely no sense? ...actually, a lot of these seem to fall under the category of "What the fuck were they thinking?" I like how the "The Game Store" commercial was clearly not actually done in the store, unless it's a 5'x10' room with like 20 games in it. ...so far, my favorite one is Luciano's Pizza, with the guy in a suit delivering pizzas. "Hey y'all, here's y'alls pizza." Mattress Ranch. Mattress Ranch. Who would buy a bed at a ranch? The only one I really don't think belongs there is the GCO one. It's not like it was poorly done or anything. The band was a little strange, but I'm pretty sure that was on purpose. Also, the BPR one was pretty great until the 500-pound owner of the company comes on screen. The lack of commercials from my area is kinda saddening. What, no Howie's World? (The guy acts like a cowboy on furniture, then makes gun sound effects as he points with his fingers saying he, "Psh! Psh! Shoots down the competition!") On another note, isn't the Norton Furniture guy who Senor Cardgage's voice is based off of?

By: Target Practice

Target Practice — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 14:32:33 -0800

nola I went in there once. Long story short, I'm suing them for false advertisement.

By: Mayor Curley

Mayor Curley — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 14:53:21 -0800

'Bernie and Phyl's, Quality, Comfort and Price. That's Nice' Do you remember the one with Robert Parish? Bernie is talking to a conference room of suits about their "Zero down, zero interest" plan and asks how they can publicize it. Then The Chief walks in a just-not-Celtics-enough-for-royalties jersey and asks "Did someone say 'double zero'? Then they cut to the jingle.

By: eyeballkid

eyeballkid — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 15:01:04 -0800

I was just going to watch one page and now I can't stop.

By: Marky

Marky — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 15:22:23 -0800

How on earth did they skip the "Great, Great House of Guitars?"

By: evilcolonel

evilcolonel — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 15:26:03 -0800

I like the claymation House of Guitars spot better. Did anyone else think, as they watched that first self-defense spot, "That's my purse! Ah don't know you!!!"

By: Clay201

Clay201 — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 15:40:54 -0800

I clicked on the "comments" link intending post that I hadn't yet looked at the list but that I was sure I'd find the "Just Like A Mini-Mall" commercial there. Someone beat me to the punch. Alas. I live in Montgomery and I've been subjected to this monstrosity on countless occasions. Worse, I've been to this "thrift market" place. (In fact, I worked for two different businesses headquartered in the same strip-mall). These are not people selling used furniture and old books and shit. Rather, its a bunch of sleazy retailers who can't afford actual retail space pimping extra-crappy furniture and knick-knacks and shit. You know, the kind of stuff they won't even stock at Wal-Mart. The only good part about it: a big courtyard/sidewalk area with rows and rows of bins and bins of dollar-tree type stuff at near dollar-tree prices. In fairness to the mini-mall people, I should point out that there are three car dealers in town who insist on subjecting us to equally idiotic advertising. Oh, and then there's the funeral home commercial which featured the young (maybe nine or ten years old) son of the proprietors as announcer. Why these other fine specimens haven't ended up on youtube or Ellen, I couldn't tell you One other note regarding the thrift market operation: it's on Seven Bridges Road. Yes, the Seven Bridges Road. It's called something else now, but it is, I'm assured, the actual road in question.

By: Clay201

Clay201 — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 15:46:44 -0800

Oh, and re: Stinky's Septic... Don't know whether you noticed, but the tune for the jingle is very close to that used for the the childhood favorite "The Diarrhea Song."

By: meech

meech — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 16:07:45 -0800

Vern Fonk is great and turns up in another very odd comercial with Corky - "living in a world of kindness".

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 16:25:29 -0800

Five Eight Eight, Two Three Hundred, EMPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE NAtional 2-9000, NAtional 2 9... thou-ou-sand. Stuck in the brains of everyone who's ever had WGN on their cable system.

By: notswedish

notswedish — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 16:30:11 -0800

I'm just popping in to remind the Chicagoans on this thread that, while Eagleman and Empire are surely classics, nothing beats Peter Francis Geraci.

By: patricio

patricio — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 16:33:13 -0800

truly awesome. The Eagleman "huge male eagle laying an egg on a car roof which then hatches a freaky "low quote" giving chick" spot is inspired.

By: nooneyouknow

nooneyouknow — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 16:42:49 -0800

I'm just popping in to remind the Chicagoans on this thread that, while Eagleman and Empire are surely classics, nothing beats Peter Francis Geraci. I beg to differ. Do remember Erik A. Martin? His bankruptcy commercials were completely ridiculous. Peter Francis Geraci is just boring.

By: Muddler

Muddler — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 16:44:21 -0800

How can you possibly forget Crazy Eddie? His prices are INSAAAANE! Versus this Crazy Eddie, who is just an idiot, or this guy, who is crazy about big stuffed animals.

By: wfc123

wfc123 — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 16:50:25 -0800

Five videos per page. Enough said. Awful website.

By: wfc123

wfc123 — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 16:51:57 -0800

At least the Crazy Eddie Guy is doing schtick. He's in on the gag. These midwestern/southern rubes are all earnestly being scary/lame.

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 16:53:13 -0800

Melinika! I love these cheesy tacky ads - thank you! Some of these are seriously disturbing. I used to work in advertising in Maine, and I spent a fair bit of my time talking clients out of being in their own ads. And making your employees be in the spots too, as some of these did - that is simply too, too abusive! Here are a few more gems that must be seen: I want to get rid of my spouse 80s Estonian meat commercial The tiddy bear Supertimor inseticida Feelings

By: ericb

ericb — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 16:55:16 -0800

Palisades has the rides... Palisades has the fun... Come On Over.

By: jonp72

jonp72 — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 17:15:15 -0800

Yessss!!!! Wet Pets San Pablo is Number 9! That commercial makes me homesick for the Bay Area.

By: jonp72

jonp72 — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 17:15:41 -0800

Metafilter: only one place where fish and lizards hang out with cats and chinchillas.

By: itchylick

itchylick — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 17:26:36 -0800

I love the we'll give you cash for your clunker ad. "Victory has ten acres of used parts" ... as the camera pans across what was probably once a scenic view.

By: Falconetti

Falconetti — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 17:32:35 -0800

I was very happy to see Eastern Motors on there. I remember trying to explain why it was funny to someone, but it was impossible without actually seeing the commercial. Now I have proof!

By: rob511

rob511 — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 17:40:17 -0800

Thanks for nothing! Where's Dr. Zizmor?

By: tristeza

tristeza — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 17:43:18 -0800

Sadly, Empire Carpets isn't limited to Chicago - I'm in Seattle and if I hear that fucking jingle one more time I'm'a rip someone's face off. They're in Boston, too :shudder:

By: the other side

the other side — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 17:43:53 -0800

Here's a fun parody of the Norton commercials.

By: Dave Faris

Dave Faris — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 18:33:01 -0800

More of the same from Sarah Hepola over at Morning News.

By: RobbieFal

RobbieFal — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 18:36:05 -0800

Does your home need a little repair?

By: delmoi

delmoi — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 18:59:55 -0800

A lot of filler in the middle.

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 19:42:55 -0800

I actually have a fondness for Crazy Gideon... his accent reminds me of my ex boyfriend who moved back to Yugoslavia. So do dracula movies, though. My all time favorite local commercials are from long ago... anybody remember Federated's Fred Rated commercials? Honestly, they were total acid trips! He was played by Shadoe Stevens, who is now the announcer on the Craig Ferguson show. (And who -- apropo of nothing -- I share my birthday with. Yay for us.)

By: evilcolonel

evilcolonel — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 21:04:50 -0800

Let's hear it from you Detroiters... "Call TYler 8-7100. Call NOW! WE... DO... GOOD... WORK."

By: ninjew

ninjew — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 21:40:42 -0800

lol Peter Francis Geraci. I think he's still trying to hawk those fucking infotapes. With that creepy inflexible upper lip. In 2007.

By: ninjew

ninjew — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 21:46:39 -0800

Yowza. Those Fred Rated commercials. The walls, they're melting.

By: Ynoxas

Ynoxas — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 21:58:35 -0800

That Wet Pets San Pablo commercial (#9) is simply inspired.

By: jonp72

jonp72 — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 05:06:48 -0800

I actually have a fondness for Crazy Gideon... his accent reminds me of my ex boyfriend who moved back to Yugoslavia. I personally though Gideon had to have been the inspiration for the Count von Count from Sesame Street. One stereo, two stereos, three stereos, ah ah ah....

By: kneelconqueso

kneelconqueso — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 07:04:12 -0800

anyone else remember the bobby denning furniture commercials in eastern north carolina during the early-mid nineties (maybe they still show them). they were so awesome. it basically consisted of bobby (who is physically handicapped, maybe a palsy?) driving his powered wheelchair around the showroom floor, while people would say 'where's bobby?' i presume he was driving around slashing prices but i can't remember. whats significant here was that the commercials weren't funny because of a handicapped guy driving around in a furniture store - but because of the horrible voices of the others in the commercial. truly a local legend in the bbq belt.

By: agropyron

agropyron — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 08:11:31 -0800

The list was truly great, with a few duds. Why was Sanford Brown Medical Institute on the list? Just because the guy says "a million years"?

By: trbrts

trbrts — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 09:14:48 -0800

Oh man that first commercial from the Jhoon Rhee Martial Arts School brings back some memories.

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 11:24:56 -0800

YOU'RE KILLING ME LAARRRRRYYYYYY! Ooof... I was looking for the Sit & Sleep commercials, but instead I found THIS! He's a hot dancer, no?