Man, there's a card for everything.

March 14, 2007 1:25 PM

When flowers won't cut it.Do you know someone who’s had an abortion? Are you having trouble knowing what to say? Do you want to let them know you care? Send them an e-card.
posted by John of Michigan (32 comments total)

I just send them little plastic fetuses, praise heaven.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:35 PM on March 14, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

So an e-card is supposed to let people know that you care more than actual flowers?

That's rediculous.
posted by DMan at 1:39 PM on March 14, 2007

"The promise of God is to be with us through all of life's transitions. God will never leave you or forsake you."

Good grief. This might not be the ideal sentiment in the circumstances.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 1:39 PM on March 14, 2007

Dear Miss Manners,

My friend Polly just had an abortion, does proper etiquette dictate that I send her a thoughful gift with a hand-written note, or is merely sending an e-card appropriate?

Clueless in Kansas
posted by psmealey at 1:40 PM on March 14, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

*Pulls up lawn chair and waits for the fireworks display.*
posted by MasonDixon at 1:40 PM on March 14, 2007

This is actually a good idea. I like this.
posted by mr_book at 1:47 PM on March 14, 2007

Those treatments are far too somber. What about this one?

CONGRATULATIONS!! You are NOT a mother!
posted by psmealey at 1:49 PM on March 14, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

psmealey - Do you work for Hallmark?
posted by Cranberry at 1:52 PM on March 14, 2007

Throw an abortion party. As the old joke goes, it's like a baby shower, except the mother can drink.
posted by rhymer at 1:53 PM on March 14, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

this is a TERRIBLE idea. Let's take our friends e/mail address and give it to some site so they know she's had an abortion.....

If someone did this to me (were I a woman), I would find them and beat them senseless!
posted by HuronBob at 1:53 PM on March 14, 2007

furthermore...if you care about me, bring me a bowl of soup and sit with me for a while...
ecards, in general, suck.... our way of saying I'm too fucking lazy and cheap to even go to the corner store, but you mean a WHOLE lot to me..

/end rant
posted by HuronBob at 1:55 PM on March 14, 2007

I am going to post my "Thanks, and plan on getting stabbed in the eye next time I see you" reply e-card to projects.
posted by Mister_A at 2:01 PM on March 14, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Do you work for Hallmark?

No, but I was thinking of going down there and pitching this idea to them.

The thing that took me aback about this whole idea, is that like many of us I'm sure, I have known (no, not in that way) five different women my age that have had abortions over the years. This subject was something that was *ONLY* ever discussed in person, and more than likely in very hushed tones. I can't think of a more private matter than this.

The idea of sending a fucking e-card is stunning to me. Have attitudes about abortion changed so much in the last 10 years that such a think is thinkable now, or is idea borne of a marketing genius with asperger's syndrome?
posted by psmealey at 2:02 PM on March 14, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Thanks for the rant HuronBob. You hit the nail on the head.
posted by nola at 2:12 PM on March 14, 2007

eCards: when you care enough to send the very best, except for all that walking and postage and actual signing and stuff, and giving something to somebody that they can hold in their hands and remember.
posted by Lady Penelope at 2:14 PM on March 14, 2007

I would be so friggin' offended if someone sent me one of these after an abortion. What a stupid idea and so cheap and lame. Oooo you really care!
posted by agregoli at 2:18 PM on March 14, 2007

I've always been a fan of these STD Notification E-cards myself...
posted by Dr.James.Orin.Incandenza at 2:18 PM on March 14, 2007

Oh!!! and the cream on the cake is the 'send anonymously' option...
posted by Dr.James.Orin.Incandenza at 2:22 PM on March 14, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

That's like saying, "I KNOW YOU HAD AN ABORTION HA HA HA."
posted by agregoli at 2:28 PM on March 14, 2007

I send soap so that they can wash away the sin! I'm going to hell aren't I?
Seriously though, I agree with psmealey that this is a subject to be treated as very private. On the other hand, that tense untalked of state can be stigmatizing and/or shame inducing. I'm not a fan of therapy through venting, but sometimes one has to do it, and a friend has to help initiate the process.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:18 PM on March 14, 2007

How to lose a friend.
posted by chillmost at 3:25 PM on March 14, 2007

I have known people that I truly believe would send one of these cards. No, they are not my friends!
posted by The Light Fantastic at 3:33 PM on March 14, 2007

I've always been a fan of these STD Notification E-cards myself...

Convenient, actually. Saves the trouble of figuring out what colour of roses are appropriate to send along with those "you might have the clap" notes.
posted by CKmtl at 3:39 PM on March 14, 2007

So where's the eCard for?

"So sorry to hear you were convicted of pedophilia."

"My condolences on the loss of your husband and your arrest for murder."

"My deepest sympathies for you at this terrible time since your failed attempt to assassinate the President."
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:55 PM on March 14, 2007

"My deepest sympathies for you at this terrible time since your failed attempt to assassinate the President."

having that one available could crash the intertubes some day.... not a good idea!
posted by HuronBob at 4:21 PM on March 14, 2007

I think a card with a stem cell recipe is more appropriate.
posted by srboisvert at 4:36 PM on March 14, 2007

I did receive an Condolences e-card from a friend when my first cell-phone died of kebab sauce to the innards

/sniff - little black brickie...how I miss you
posted by Sparx at 5:53 PM on March 14, 2007

I am fiercely pro-choice, but I find this part of their "core values" to be fucked up:

Exhale believes abortion can be a normal part of the reproductive lives of women and girls.

Abortion, however sadly necessary it may be, is not, and should not be a normal part of anything. Especially for girls. Girls shouldn't have a "reproductive life" for heaven's sake. If a girl is pregnant and needs to have an abortion, it is most likely the result of a decidedly non-normal circumstance.

I suppose they're trying to say it shouldn't be a shameful or stigmatizing experience, but that is not the connotation of the word normal.
posted by Biblio at 6:09 PM on March 14, 2007

There's nothing at all very unique about the wording on the cards. They each sound like everyday sympathy cards, save for the one that explicitly mentions abortion.
posted by inconsequentialist at 11:37 PM on March 14, 2007

Is there a sympathy card for every one?
posted by cenoxo at 11:59 PM on March 14, 2007

Y'know, I can see myself sending the more blatantly worded cards to my friends... who haven't had abortions... y'know, for laughs.

But that's because I'm a bad person.

The actual cards - I get what they're trying to do. It's not a bad idea, it's just the actual follow-through, well, as mentioned it causes more problems than it solves.

If you're close enough to someone to KNOW that they've had an abortion, you're either going to be at their house bringing them soup and flowers, or you're just not going to talk about it at all. I don't see this as one of those "I just don't know what to send!" crises because, as mentioned, it's so freaking private.

Or maybe I'm just jealous that no one sent me any "sorry about your miscarriage" e-cards.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 1:03 AM on March 15, 2007

Ecards is the tech-savvy way of saying "I couldn't even be bothered to go and shop for a card for you!"

Seriously, this is a pretty bad idea. If you must say something say it in person at least.
posted by clevershark at 8:12 AM on March 15, 2007