Mandingo Party
March 31, 2007 7:22 AM   Subscribe

[NSFW] “[T]onight's orgy is fairly typical. . . . Within an hour or so, the guests—23 white couples and 3 black couples—have arrived, all of them here specifically to have sex with single black men often a decade or two their junior. There are 12 such men in the house tonight. They call themselves Mandingos. And this is a Mandingo party.
posted by jason's_planet (232 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite


 
A couple of thoughts:

I can’t help but wonder if there’s a homoerotic component to this scene as well, if the white men in these couples are seeking some sort of vicarious sexual contact with the black men through their wives and girlfriends.

When I first read this at the newsstand, the lines that made the strongest impression on me were:

“And I know that Amber would never date a black man.”

And

“[T]here's seldom kissing or going down. It's a rule for some—Jared won't kiss or come unless he's with someone ‘special.’”
posted by jason's_planet at 7:22 AM on March 31, 2007


JP, I reckon some others have had the same impression concerning the homoerotic component. The first comment under your linked article (I won't quote it here) is quite to the point about it.

When I first saw that these guys call themselves "Mandingos", I thought they'd named themselves after the African tribe (whose music is great, I've been a fan for a long time), but googling the word turns up this as the top result, which, of course, makes more sense...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:37 AM on March 31, 2007


Whoa.

There are so many disturbing things about this, I don't even know where to begin. (NB: the swinging is not disturbing. Whatever floats your boat, as long as it's safe, sane, and consensual).

The racism--both overt and implied--is horrifying. Hiring young black studs to service.. ugh.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:40 AM on March 31, 2007


Ain't no party like a Mandingo Party 'cause a Mandingo Party don't stop.
posted by psmealey at 7:41 AM on March 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


In some ways, Jeff hasn't changed at all—he's the same football jock with small eyes, a wide head, and a big man's shyness; he's still a staunch Republican with a firm handshake and a solid golf game.

Of course he is.
posted by The Straightener at 7:43 AM on March 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


This is about 8 different ways of fucked up.
posted by psmealey at 7:45 AM on March 31, 2007


There has to be a similar scam for whiteboys. I dunno, a Jeremiah Johnson party or something.
posted by jonmc at 7:46 AM on March 31, 2007 [6 favorites]


The religious Italian version could be called Holy Cannoli party.

Uh oh... I think this thread is going to get worse before it gets better.
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 7:56 AM on March 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


jonmc: There has to be a similar scam for whiteboys. I dunno, a Jeremiah Johnson party or something.

From what I can tell, not really. At least, I haven't encountered a black-wife-submits-to-white-thug fantasy.

On the other hand, similar fantasties in France (both straight and queer) often rotate around a mixture of ethnicity and class. Arab men ("arabe" but also "beur" or "rebeu") as well as West/Central African men are often fetishized in similar ways--but so are certain categories of thug ("lascard"), biker ("motard" or "tarmo") among others. These class references are often white European, but can also incorporate other ethnicities.

So, in other words, there are plenty of ways to turn social inequality into sex. Hooray.
posted by LMGM at 7:57 AM on March 31, 2007


Mandingo.
posted by bardic at 7:58 AM on March 31, 2007


The women get to fuck our guys while their husbands watch, and we get to fuck rich white women, really mutt 'em out. It works!

Awesome.
posted by The Straightener at 8:00 AM on March 31, 2007


This is about 8 different ways of fucked up.

Aw, let them have their fun. Stopping this party wouldn't cure racism. It sounds like everybody's having a good time.

On preview: Yeah, "mutt 'em out" is going into my lexicon of interesting slang.
posted by Bookhouse at 8:03 AM on March 31, 2007


There's no point in listing any more great quotes from this, there's just too many of them.
posted by The Straightener at 8:04 AM on March 31, 2007


Jeff (not his real name), now 40, is telling me this while we're watching a black guy have sex with his wife, Amber (not her real name), 37, at an interracial orgy. In Jeff's house. On his bed. The man screwing Jeff's wife is Branford (not his real name), a 30-year-old massage therapist who's not holding back—this isn't lovemaking, this is a proper pounding. Forget Amber—that's just how Jeff likes it.

In some ways, Jeff hasn't changed at all—he's the same football jock with small eyes, a wide head, and a big man's shyness; he's still a staunch Republican
I like how that's put forth as if it means he's manly.

As if he's not happily watching another man fuck his wife.
posted by Flunkie at 8:06 AM on March 31, 2007



The racism--both overt and implied--is horrifying. Hiring young black studs to service.. ugh.


While some of the African-American guys receive "tips," they are charged $75 to attend.


"[Jared] describes interracial orgies as a "heightening experience," proof that prejudice may be on the wane. "I find the yin and yang of the two colors mixing very erotic," he says. "I believe the world is looking beyond color now more than ever."


Riiight. You're at an orgy whose name is an allusion to black men's hypersexuality, and that is based on the color of the attendees' skin and you're talking about looking beyond color.
posted by Jesse H Christ at 8:06 AM on March 31, 2007


Don't forget to take some time to enjoy the comments that follow the article!
posted by Jesse H Christ at 8:09 AM on March 31, 2007


When I first saw that these guys call themselves "Mandingos", I thought they'd named themselves after the African tribe

That's nothing! When I read the quote at the top of article I thought how strange it was that women would want to have sex with Kali worshiping trained assassins from Northern India.

I love the name choices. Branford, Amber, Jeff. It's like an X rated Fresh Prince of Bel Air episode.
posted by srboisvert at 8:10 AM on March 31, 2007 [6 favorites]


No mention of the n-word anywhere in the article; I wonder what role it plays at these parties.
posted by The Straightener at 8:11 AM on March 31, 2007


I feel a lot better about playing video games now, thanks.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:13 AM on March 31, 2007 [7 favorites]


Jeff's casual bigotry aside, tonight's orgy is fairly typical. Amber's two boys, 11 and 13, have been shipped off to their grandparents' house, and their rooms have been suitably modified—the posters are off the walls, the clothes have been put away, and the lightbulbs have been changed to red.

Ok, that's just not cool.
posted by SweetJesus at 8:13 AM on March 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


Flapjax, it is much more likely that they're referring to this.
posted by Flunkie at 8:22 AM on March 31, 2007


Wow, that's really disgusting.
posted by delmoi at 8:23 AM on March 31, 2007


This is great! thanks for the post.! A conservative Republican guy nearly shot to death so he now sees the need to watch his wife get fucked but remains true to conservative values. Would that all registered Republicans could have this experience.

My 18-year-od hose keeper from Asia wants to know if they can have some similar thing for registered Democrats and oriental single guys.
posted by Postroad at 8:27 AM on March 31, 2007


Wow, I can't believe the moral outrage that I'm sensing in this thread.

This is sex, people. It's supposed to be transgresive. That's what makes it fun.

And you know what? They're not hurting anybody.

So haters - yes, I'm talking to you - there's some "it" over here, and it very badly needs some sucking. Better get to it.
posted by kenoshakid at 8:27 AM on March 31, 2007


You beat me to it, SweetJesus. Even in this context, turning your child's bedroom into a temporary fuckzone still seems, you know, inapropriate.
posted by jack_mo at 8:28 AM on March 31, 2007 [7 favorites]


hose keeper

Interesting slip ;-)
posted by jack_mo at 8:31 AM on March 31, 2007


Postroad has an 18-year-old hose keeper?
posted by leftcoastbob at 8:32 AM on March 31, 2007 [6 favorites]


Even in this context? Especially in this context.

And kenoshakid, seriously, I am an enormous pervert who is a fan of some incredibly transgressive sex. My issue with this is the racism. It's repellent and disgusting.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:33 AM on March 31, 2007


We'll pass, a mule dicked brotha having his way with my wife is out of the question for HER and I.
posted by winks007 at 8:35 AM on March 31, 2007


I don't doubt that this sort of thing takes place, but I couldn't shake the feeling that this story is fabricated.
posted by davebush at 8:35 AM on March 31, 2007


kenoshakid, as far as I'm concerned, they can do anything that they mutually consent to. More power to them.

That doesn't make the thinly-if-at-all-veiled racism palatable, though.
posted by Flunkie at 8:40 AM on March 31, 2007


The story is bullshit. This is pure fiction.

This is sex, people. It's supposed to be transgresive.

I didn't realize that sex is "supposed to be" anything. That's a strangely absolute statement coming from someone who, presumably, is not God.
posted by jayder at 8:46 AM on March 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


One detail that I thought pointed toward fiction was the black dude who was both Ivy League educated and ex-Special Forces. He's both brilliant and a manly stallion.
posted by jayder at 8:50 AM on March 31, 2007



This is sex, people. It's supposed to be transgresive.


Really? Next time I'll let the goat roam freely around the room, then.
posted by jonmc at 8:52 AM on March 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


The Dark Wanderer (NSFW, text) site was born in 1996, and is one of the largest collections of free slut wife, interracial and cuckold stories in the world. A Slut Wife story is an erotic tale about a hot and sexy wife who goes outside the marriage for her fun, and a forgiving, submissive, excited or unaware husband. These stories are purely fantasy. Do not try this at home without a safety net.
posted by Dave Faris at 8:54 AM on March 31, 2007


The person reading this article, Blazecock Pileon (not his real name), sees this as just another sad example of money buying human beings.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:57 AM on March 31, 2007


One detail that I thought pointed toward fiction was the black dude who was both Ivy League educated and ex-Special Forces.

Where are you from?
posted by Pacheco at 8:58 AM on March 31, 2007


D... I... N-G-O, D... I... N-G-O, D... I... N-G-O Mandingo was his name-o.
posted by CG at 9:04 AM on March 31, 2007


The story is bullshit. This is pure fiction.

Ditto, my bullshit meter went off the scale by the second paragraph. I think the author made it all up.
posted by LarryC at 9:07 AM on March 31, 2007


mandingo fucked my baby!!
posted by pyramid termite at 9:09 AM on March 31, 2007 [22 favorites]


I'm sublimating my moral outrage into disgust at the quality of writing:

Hands rove from chicken wings to breasts, from chips to hips, from guac to cock.
posted by lyam at 9:09 AM on March 31, 2007 [5 favorites]


One detail that I thought pointed toward fiction was the black dude who was both Ivy League educated and ex-Special Forces.

Where are you from?

I had thought about writing, under my comment,

cue the people saying "how dare you suggest a black man can't be Ivy League educated and ex-Special Forces"

I guess I should have written that.
posted by jayder at 9:10 AM on March 31, 2007


Wait, is this from the April edition?
posted by lyam at 9:12 AM on March 31, 2007


From Guac to Cock: A Personal Odyssey
posted by Methylviolet at 9:17 AM on March 31, 2007 [7 favorites]


This isn't mere sex: It's fetish. The black men are being identified as sexual partners on the basis of their race, and the interactions are constructed around that identification. There's nothing wrong with that, per se, but it does point out how, for many Americans, race is still such a chasm. And it's interesting that these sexual encounters don't seem to break down people's sense of otherness based on race, but heighten them.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:18 AM on March 31, 2007


Loved the thing about "double-digit dicks."
posted by jayder at 9:19 AM on March 31, 2007


Wow, I can't believe the moral outrage that I'm sensing in this thread.

This is sex, people.


It's not the sex, it's the racism. I mean come on.

The story is bullshit. This is pure fiction.

Just because it seems like fiction doesn't mean it is. For example, this article about Lawrence Lessig and others being molested at choir school when he was a child, once you get into what actually happened to him seems entirely impossible, but it almost certainly is (I can't imagine NYMag, and one of the countries foremost constitutional lawyers would make something like that up)
posted by delmoi at 9:20 AM on March 31, 2007


One of these guys wrote in to Dan Savage a couple months ago.
posted by Partial Law at 9:27 AM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


We'll pass, a mule dicked brotha having his way with my wife is out of the question for HER and I.
posted by winks007 at 11:35 AM on March 31 [+]
[!]

See, that's exactly what I'm talking about. Is the issue that it's another man with your wife, or that he's black? If the former, say so. If the latter, that's repellent.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:29 AM on March 31, 2007


Ivy League and Special Forces do not go together. It has nothing to do with him being black. If they said one of the husbands was Ivy League/Special Forces I'd call equal bullshit.

Also, I love how this is couched as being racist and oppressive.

I wish someone would oppress me and humiliate me by letting me come to their house and bang their non-white wives.

God, that'd be horrible and stuff, you know? I'd really feel like those men thought less of me. You know, while I was banging their wives.

Somebody has to be outraged by everything I guess.
posted by Ynoxas at 9:29 AM on March 31, 2007


Naw, delmoi, I think people are saying this sounds a lot like those silly green collar things (a total hoax) or the "rainbow parties" that caused a big media uproar with very little evidence that anything ever actually happened.
posted by mathowie at 9:30 AM on March 31, 2007


"Mommy, look at this giant balloon I found!"
posted by HyperBlue at 9:32 AM on March 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


The person reading this article, Blazecock Pileon (not his real name), sees this as just another sad example of money buying human beings.

Given that everyone pays, and the Mandingo chaps pay more to attend the parties than the couples, it's hard to work out who is doing the buying.
posted by jack_mo at 9:32 AM on March 31, 2007


It's not fiction, I swear. I've never heard of the moniker "Mandingo" for any of these guys, but I've actually attended a party like this -- er, almost. I had stopped by a friend's apartment on the Upper West Side (NYC) after dinner one nite to say hello, and about an hour later, people started to arrive. Lots of people! I left so the attendees could enjoy themselves, but I've been at my friend's place for other goings-on. I generally prepare snacky gourmet foods and drinks and enjoy chatting with folks who like to do things I don't, and who don't enjoy doing things I do.

That nite's theme was a biracial one, but there have been pretty much weekly parties there with all sorts of themes -- bisexual (not everyone has to be bi, but no one can mind bi happenings happening all around), all-boy, older women/younger men, what have you.

My friend's not some kind of creep, either. He's successful in the art world, has published a couple of books that sold pretty well, and has a really silly sense of humor. He just likes to get naked a lot.
posted by houseofdanie at 9:33 AM on March 31, 2007


I'm not so sure its fake.

It's not the sex, it's the racism. I mean come on.

Good Lord, if only all racism was expressed as "ball my wife, please." To me it's no worse than the misogyny in dominant/submissive sex play. You can throw around the word "slut" (or worse) in the sack without being a woman-hater.

Also, this is a three-way street. Some white women really like having sex with black men. Some black men really like having sex with white women. Some white guys like to watch. The only people who seem to be losing out are black women.
posted by Bookhouse at 9:35 AM on March 31, 2007


Bookhouse, black women do NO lose out, at least at my friend's house. No, no, no. They have quite the following and tend to cross over from the "Nubian" parties to the bi ones.
posted by houseofdanie at 9:38 AM on March 31, 2007


Er, do NOT. Me literate, really.
posted by houseofdanie at 9:40 AM on March 31, 2007


"Staunch Republican" != "Family Values" (at least in private, when the kiddos are at the grandparents...)
posted by Robert Angelo at 9:41 AM on March 31, 2007


i'll be surprised if it's fiction, judging from the 8 years i spent selling porn over the counter. this is a very popular fantasy amongst the meathead, undercover racist white guy set. and their wives. it doesn't surprise me one bit that when they get a little money and feel like they can get away with it, they go for this sorta swingin.

it's not about the swinging thing--i mean, yeah, i think swinging is pretty base, but *shrug*. however, as was alluded to above, this is all about using black men in the way they've been used historically. the only difference this time is that they have to pay for the privilege.

i wish i could tell from the article whether there was any real awareness of what they're participating in. i mean, god i hate the term Mandingo--there was a series of books back in the early 70s or late 60s with that as the first title--all about this slave master/slave sex dynamic. that's where the movie came from, and where the porn dude got his nick. (and then again, if this was white girls at an SM slave party, i'd be defending the "slaves." so maybe i'm full of shit.) somehow i think i'd feel better if the guys were getting paid. or if at least the couples had to pay significantly more.

i guess what's also sad (to me) is that they seem to be paying money to get connected to rich white people, as if fucking the wife is going to get the "master" to fork over some good career connections. good luck with that.
posted by RedEmma at 9:45 AM on March 31, 2007


Is it just me, or did anyone else masturbate at least twice while reading this article?
posted by jonson at 9:46 AM on March 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


I think it's just you, jonson. The back hair really did me in.
posted by houseofdanie at 9:48 AM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


I presume jonson masturbates while reading any article. When you're a jonson, it's your metier.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:50 AM on March 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


Apologies in advance...

This is my real wife.
This is my fantasy.
Interracial sex acts:
An escape from reality -
Open my eyes
Look away from the pies and see -
Jared with my wife, in an dom-sub scenario -
Easy come! Easy go!
Did she just shout "Geronimo!"?
Anywhere his wang goes doesn't really matter to me.
To me.

My wife will grill this man,
I'm getting off my head,
Watching others in my bed.
"Mamma!" My Wife's just begun,
And now she's gonna throw it all his way!
"Mama!" "Ooo-ooo-e-oooh!"
It was mean of her to cry
"Can you come back about this time tomorrow?"
Carry on. Carry on. But make sure nothing really splatters.

We saw - the advertisment,
"We'll sends shivers down her spine"
"Interracial every time."
"Come on, Jeffrey-darling. We've got to go!"
"If we don't try this out at all we'll never know."
"Mama!" "Ooo-ooo-e-oooh!"
I think I want to try,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born ma-le...

We've been repressed and in denial all this time:
It's the truth! It's the truth! "I want to try a mandingo!"
"Impotence is not exciting, I want impalement with some biting - me!"
"Shall we go-oo? Shall we go-oo?"
"Make it so-oo!" "Make it-soo!"
Yes we'll go, in a mo "Magnifico!"...

But I'm just a lawyer and nobody loves me.
Here is a stud with a 12-inch wangdanglebry.
Spare me and my wife from his monstrosity!
"It'll fit, it'll go, will you let him show?"
It'll fill you! No! I will not let him show! "Let him show!"
It'll kill you! I will not him show! "Let him show!"
It's like a pillar! I will not let him show! "Let him show!"
Will not let him show - "Let him show!"
Will not let him show - "Let him show!"
No, no, no, no, no, no,no!
"Jeffrey-dear, Jeffrey-dear, Jeffrey-dear, let him show"
"All this time I've had a dildo in the sideboard, see? For me? For me?" [okay...]

Do you think you could please her - God knows I've tried!
Do you think you could spank her while I eat my pie?
"Oh baby!" "Now do this to me, baby!"
I'd like you to shout, and then if you could come out in my beer... [thanks...]

Nothing really matters,
Everyone can see,
Nothing really matters-, nothing really matters to me.

Anywhere his wang goes...

posted by nthdegx at 9:53 AM on March 31, 2007 [24 favorites]


paging cortex?
posted by empath at 10:02 AM on March 31, 2007


Naw, delmoi, I think people are saying this sounds a lot like those silly green collar things (a total hoax) or the "rainbow parties" that caused a big media uproar with very little evidence that anything ever actually happened.

Yeah, I suppose that's possible too. I guess Men's Style is hardly a bastion of journalistic integrity. But unlike the rainbow party thing, the reporter actually claimed to attend the party, right? This isn't like the rainbow party thing where kids would have to all know each other before deciding to have the party, rather people with this specific fetish could find each other over the internet and arrange parties. There is a lot of "black guy white women" fetish porn out there, so I imagine that the fetish is common enough.

Look, even people involved in pony play manage to get together and have parties/orgies. I have to think that fetish is a lot more rare then this one. The amount and variety of sexual goings on in the world is really staggering.

Good Lord, if only all racism was expressed as "ball my wife, please." To me it's no worse than the misogyny in dominant/submissive sex play. You can throw around the word "slut" (or worse) in the sack without being a woman-hater.

I guess, after thinking about it just seems more silly and absurd then anything else, but I have to say my initial reaction was not pleasant. It seems really humiliating for the men, but maybe these guys like to be humiliated, like a submissive. But the fact that that these husbands get off on humiliating black men in particular is pretty gross.
posted by delmoi at 10:02 AM on March 31, 2007


"ball my wife, please."

One of Henny Youngman's early jokes, from his 'blue' period.
posted by jonmc at 10:03 AM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


RedEmma said: i guess what's also sad (to me) is that they seem to be paying money to get connected to rich white people, as if fucking the wife is going to get the "master" to fork over some good career connections. good luck with that.

Yes, that's the feeling I had. These guys aren't really in it to live the dream of fucking several unattractive white women in front of their husbands. (Well maybe the bitter divorcé is.) They must have issues themselves to be there, I'm thinking, unless they thought this were a means to an end. Surely, an Ivy league Special Forces six-foot big-dick chiseled whatever would be able to find unattractive white women to sleep with him if that was all he wanted.
posted by Methylviolet at 10:08 AM on March 31, 2007


... And maybe we have the solution here to this guy's AskMe.
posted by Methylviolet at 10:13 AM on March 31, 2007


If these staunch Republicans really wanted transgressive sex, they'd allow the Mandingo guys to unionize, demand a fair wage and recieve full medical benefits. And they'd welcome the random vegan in, too.


Did I just write that filth?! OH NOES11!! Someone ammend the constitution, stat!!
posted by maryh at 10:14 AM on March 31, 2007 [4 favorites]


Methylviolet: They must have issues themselves to be there, I'm thinking, unless they thought this were a means to an end.

Couldn't that be said about almost any sexual encounter? Almost any encounter at all really.
posted by stinkycheese at 10:17 AM on March 31, 2007


posted by SweetJesus at 5:13 PM on March 31
Jeff's casual bigotry aside, tonight's orgy is fairly typical. Amber's two boys, 11 and 13, have been shipped off to their grandparents' house, and their rooms have been suitably modified—the posters are off the walls, the clothes have been put away, and the lightbulbs have been changed to red.

Ok, that's just not cool.
From the article
"No one's having sex on the sofas," he says, looking pleased. "I left the throw cushions on to encourage people to use the bedrooms—a little something I learned at the last party. Especially because we've got a couple of squirters here tonight. You don't want that on the microfiber. Not good."
Ewww.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 10:18 AM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


How revolting.

I'm thinking of the wives. Never mind what color the participants are, this is just cheap and tawdry. No selfrespect on the part of ANY of the participants.
posted by konolia at 10:21 AM on March 31, 2007


Ivy League and Special Forces do not go together. It has nothing to do with him being black. If they said one of the husbands was Ivy League/Special Forces I'd call equal bullshit.

Here's one reference.

Here's another.

I mean, It's not like these guys are falling out of trees, but they do exist. Special Forces tends to look for bright people.
posted by Snyder at 10:22 AM on March 31, 2007


The most racist and potentially fiction-exposing quote: "Each guest at Hammer's parties pays an annual membership—couples pay $30 and Mandingos $75."
posted by Toekneesan at 10:26 AM on March 31, 2007


...seem to have largely replaced sexuality with aggression.
Have you seen what passes for porn these days? From the way this article reads, it sounds like everyone involved took sex-ed glued to a tv, watching BangBus vids.
posted by Thorzdad at 10:31 AM on March 31, 2007


Huh. So Mandingo isn't Australian for Werewolf after all.
posted by Grangousier at 10:31 AM on March 31, 2007 [7 favorites]


The most racist and potentially fiction-exposing quote: "Each guest at Hammer's parties pays an annual membership—couples pay $30 and Mandingos $75."

That doesn't seem that bad. From what I've read and heard, you aren't going to find a swinger party that doesn't charge single men more than they charge couples (if they let single men in at all).

Alternatively, if these guys are getting tips for their services, then paying an entry fee to the "pimp" makes sense as well.

(When I got up this morning, I never suspected I'd have spent so much time defending interracial gangbangs.)
posted by Bookhouse at 10:36 AM on March 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


"Hands rove from chicken wings to breasts, from chips to hips, from guac to cock."

!!
posted by Zosia Blue at 10:37 AM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Oops, already quoted. But I think it bears repeating.
posted by Zosia Blue at 10:45 AM on March 31, 2007


Jeez, I'm not getting out enough.
posted by squidfartz at 10:45 AM on March 31, 2007


My 18-year-old hose keeper from Asia wants to know if they can have some similar thing for registered Democrats and oriental single guys.

Oh, you know the democrats are more open about rice-queenery than the republicans could ever be about this.
posted by taursir at 10:48 AM on March 31, 2007


You people. You really have no idea what goes on, do you?
posted by ikkyu2 at 10:51 AM on March 31, 2007 [6 favorites]


Rich people use poor people for sex, news at 11.

Seriously Metafilter, best of the web? Can I have my $5 back.
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 10:52 AM on March 31, 2007



Seriously Metafilter, best of the web? Can I have my $5 back.


It was good of jason's_planet to email all the MetaFilter members for approval before posting this so that we could share the responsibility
posted by nthdegx at 10:56 AM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Belle, been here two weeks and only now want a refund? What took you so long?
posted by imperium at 10:59 AM on March 31, 2007


CAR-LS-JUN-IOR-MILK-SHAKE CAR-LS-JUN-IOR-MILK-SHAKE
posted by Balisong at 11:01 AM on March 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


As a totally gratuituous shit stir, replete with over the top quotes and awful turns of phrase, this article ranks top notch in my book.
posted by The Straightener at 11:05 AM on March 31, 2007


Not everything that deals with race is racist. I'm just shaking my head at why this is racism. It's not racist to want to have sex with black dudes. It's not racist to want to have sex with white women. It's not racist to watch someone bang your wife. It's a bunch of people getting together and having sex. It's not like white people are getting to beat black people or throw shit at them, or verbally degrade them, or anything at all. It's just people fucking.
It is, however, racist because:
I know that Amber would never date a black man.
posted by Flunkie at 11:13 AM on March 31, 2007


Given that everyone pays, and the Mandingo chaps pay more to attend the parties than the couples, it's hard to work out who is doing the buying.

We're not talking about a cover charge for the KY. Doesn't sound like a good old-fashioned orgy to me, but it sure sounds like commodity trading.

Adam Smith can keep his decrepit, wandering, invisible hand off my body, thanks. /rant
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:15 AM on March 31, 2007


Ew.
posted by trip and a half at 11:30 AM on March 31, 2007


nthdegx, that was fourteen flavours of awesome.

Am I the only person who noticed that there was not a single POV in the article from one of the women involved? Not one single quote? It might be interesting to get their perspective.
posted by jokeefe at 11:35 AM on March 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


Adam Smith can keep his decrepit, wandering, invisible hand off my body, thanks. /rant

So you are in favour of subsidies then?
posted by srboisvert at 11:38 AM on March 31, 2007


there was not a single POV in the article from one of the women involved?

I just assumed that was because it is rude to speak with your mouth full.
posted by srboisvert at 11:42 AM on March 31, 2007 [4 favorites]


I only go to Mandingo parties if there's cock-fighting.
posted by DenOfSizer at 11:43 AM on March 31, 2007


HEY-O!
posted by The Straightener at 11:45 AM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


On further reflection, I don't know how this can be seen as not being racist. One of the classic stereotypes of blacks is that the men are unthinking sexual dynamos, and these parties exist to bring in men to act out that fantasy. What if it were a party where Jews were brought in to cackle as they counted bags of money, or a Chinese man was brought in to go pee pee in the Coke?
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:45 AM on March 31, 2007 [6 favorites]


MetaFilter: You don't want that on the microfiber.
posted by Spike at 11:47 AM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


It's interesting watching some people in this thread who are nominally against interfering with people's sex lives but more than willing to do so here because there are "racist" fantasies being acted upon.
posted by oaf at 11:50 AM on March 31, 2007


oaf
It's interesting watching some people in this thread who are nominally against interfering with people's sex lives but more than willing to do so here because there are "racist" fantasies being acted upon.
Who has suggested interfering with this?

Exactly who?
posted by Flunkie at 11:51 AM on March 31, 2007


"What if ... a Chinese man was brought in to go pee pee in the Coke?"

Yeah! Or a Russian with office stationery sellotaped to his elbows!
posted by nthdegx at 11:56 AM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


The most racist and potentially fiction-exposing quote: "Each guest at Hammer's parties pays an annual membership—couples pay $30 and Mandingos $75."

I agree with bookhouse. Please explain how this is racist.

If anything, I think it's very explicitly un-racist. The difference in membership fees makes it clear that these men are not being sold.
posted by roll truck roll at 12:00 PM on March 31, 2007


And yet the fact that they don't kiss or cum hardly suggests their on hand for pleasure or intimacy.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:08 PM on March 31, 2007


They're, rather.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:09 PM on March 31, 2007


Flunkie: Read the thread and tell me that no one is saying that this is immoral.
posted by oaf at 12:11 PM on March 31, 2007


oaf
Flunkie: Read the thread and tell me that no one is saying that this is immoral.
I didn't ask you to tell me who was saying it was immoral. I asked you to tell me who was saying it should be interfered with.

Not coincidentally, I asked you this because you stated that people were saying it should be interfered with.
posted by Flunkie at 12:12 PM on March 31, 2007


Wow, I can't believe the moral outrage that I'm sensing in this thread.

Wow, I can't believe the amount of jealousy implied in this thread. Poor repressed Americans.
posted by Twang at 12:14 PM on March 31, 2007


I asked you to tell me who was saying it should be interfered with.

Saying that something is wrong implies that one thinks it should be fixed. That is interfering with it.
posted by oaf at 12:20 PM on March 31, 2007


I just assumed that was because it is rude to speak with your mouth full.

I'm not so sure it's a matter of rudeness -- I think it's impossible to speak when you've got so much double-digit African sausage crammed down your yapper.
posted by jayder at 12:21 PM on March 31, 2007


Wow, I can't believe the amount of words in this thread! Poor people with time to kill on a Saturday.
posted by jonmc at 12:21 PM on March 31, 2007


Saying that something is wrong implies that one thinks it should be fixed. That is interfering with it.
Oh, please. That's such a weak attempt at sophistry.

For example, I think that cheating on your spouse is "wrong".

But I also think that you have every right to do it.

Does that mean I want to "interfere" in people's adulterous relationships?

No one is calling for this to be stopped. That people express distaste at it doesn't mean they want to "interfere" with it, and pretending that the two are the same is ridiculous.
posted by Flunkie at 12:25 PM on March 31, 2007


It's not that it's adulterous. It's that it's "racist." Somehow, I doubt that the people denouncing this practice as such are not in favor of stopping racism.
posted by oaf at 12:29 PM on March 31, 2007


Saying that something is wrong implies that one thinks it should be fixed. That is interfering with it.

That is unabashedly untrue. There are lots of things I find distasteful or even immoral but I don't think I have a right to interfere with it.
posted by Falconetti at 12:30 PM on March 31, 2007


It's not that it's adulterous. It's that it's "racist."
My "adulterous" example was not referring to the article. It was an example of how someone can think that something is "wrong" but not want to interfere in it.

This was directly related to your claim that "Saying that something is wrong implies that one thinks it should be fixed. That is interfering with it."
Somehow, I doubt that the people denouncing this practice as such are not in favor of stopping racism.
I just want to get this straight: You're now pretending that being against racism is equivalent to being in favor of interfering with the right of people to have these parties?

Somehow, I doubt that the people denouncing this practice are in favor of breaking into these people's bedrooms and telling them to stop.

If you seriously want to continue equating "being against racism" with "interfering with Mandingo parties", OK, good for you, but I'm done with this conversation.
posted by Flunkie at 12:35 PM on March 31, 2007


I just want to get this straight: You're now pretending that being against racism is equivalent to being in favor of interfering with the right of people to have these parties?

You really can't read, can you?
posted by oaf at 12:36 PM on March 31, 2007


Wow, I can't believe the amount of words in this thread! Poor people with time to kill on a Saturday.

This is metafilter. People here get off on snarkery. Or in my case, meta-snarkery.
posted by sebastienbailard at 12:36 PM on March 31, 2007


You really can't read, can you?
You really can't find anyone in this thread who said that they wanted to interfere with this, can you?
posted by Flunkie at 12:38 PM on March 31, 2007


I can't believe how many people are seriously discussing this article as if it describes a real phenomenon. It reads like that article about "Monkeyfishing." In fact, I bet the author of the Mandingo party piece is some smirking, ex-frat-boy, asshole racist who was thinking, "monkeyfishing? I'll give 'em monkey fucking!"

The problem with this type of article is that it stirs up emotions, engenders controversy, and gets everyone talking --- while remaining absolutely unverifiable.

And all you people are sincerely talking and debating about it like it has been described in the New England Journal of Medicine.
posted by jayder at 12:38 PM on March 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


And here is where the thread devolves.
posted by rbs at 12:38 PM on March 31, 2007


Flunkie, let me put this in terms you might be able to understand.

You have a preference for tall men? Fine by me.
You have a preference for older men? Whatever floats your boat.
You have a preference for black men? You horrible, horrible racist!
posted by oaf at 12:40 PM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


And Flunkie, you still haven't read the thread.
posted by oaf at 12:41 PM on March 31, 2007


Oaf, my question to you was not "explain how this is not racist".

It was "Point out someone who said they wanted to interfere with it".
posted by Flunkie at 12:41 PM on March 31, 2007



Exactly. Not everything that deals with race is racist. I'm just shaking my head at why this is racism. It's not racist to want to have sex with black dudes. It's not racist to want to have sex with white women. It's not racist to watch someone bang your wife. It's a bunch of people getting together and having sex. It's not like white people are getting to beat black people or throw shit at them, or verbally degrade them, or anything at all. It's just people fucking.
(23Skidoo)


On further reflection, I don't know how this can be seen as not being racist. One of the classic stereotypes of blacks is that the men are unthinking sexual dynamos, and these parties exist to bring in men to act out that fantasy. What if it were a party where Jews were brought in to cackle as they counted bags of money, or a Chinese man was brought in to go pee pee in the Coke?
(Astro Zombie)

I was going to say basically what Astro Zombie said, though I was going to ask if --since no one is beaten or has shit thrown at them--it in 23Skidoo's view it would not be racist to play on other stereotypes by saying, "Having trouble with your calculus? What you need is a Chink to help you figure it out." Or to laud the beaners for their hard work.

How is this better than throwing a party that appeals to the stereotype of black men as fuck-machines, and to call the studs Mandingos, an overtly racist term?

The fact that the black men go willingly makes this no better, since oppressed people often side with their oppressors. Anyway, it sounds like some of these men see it as a means for making contact with "rich folks." It's pathetic all around.
posted by Jesse H Christ at 12:49 PM on March 31, 2007


You have a preference for tall men? Fine by me.
You have a preference for older men? Whatever floats your boat.
You have a preference for black men? You horrible, horrible racist!
posted by oaf at 2:40 PM on March 31 [+]
[!]



1- There is not an established system of stereotyping and oppression of either tall or older men. (Though age discrimination does exist, it is not nearly as widespread a problem as racism--a black man can be the subject of racism his whole life, then have the problem compounded by age, for example.)

2- If there were such problems, then perhaps having powerful tall and/or old men using their influence to watch their wives cuckold them (with men who are as a group referred to by youth- and height-appropriate slurs) would be a problem.
posted by Jesse H Christ at 12:56 PM on March 31, 2007


It's still not racism for a woman to have a sexual preference for black men.
posted by oaf at 12:58 PM on March 31, 2007


dirtynumbangelboy writes "We'll pass, a mule dicked brotha having his way with my wife is out of the question for HER and I.
"posted by winks007 at 11:35 AM on March 31 [+]
"[!]

"See, that's exactly what I'm talking about. Is the issue that it's another
man with your wife, or that he's black? If the former, say so. If the latter, that's repellent."

So is it the emotion that you find repellent, dnab, or just the expression of it?

Because political correctness tends to go out of the window when it comes to the stuff that does or doesn't floats your boat -- and I'm not sure that people have any choice in the matter.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:58 PM on March 31, 2007


So if that guy was asked to take his wife and leave, then it would be okay?
I am okay with it happening even as is. Everybody involved is a consenting adult.

All I was saying in that bit that you quoted is that that guy is racist, and moreover that he portrays his wife as racist as well. Do you disagree?

I furthermore suspect that a lot of these people, not just him, are going in to this with racism being a major part of the attraction.
posted by Flunkie at 1:00 PM on March 31, 2007


Powerful penis envy.
posted by semmi at 1:03 PM on March 31, 2007


oaf - It's not as simple as that. What's going on here is that white people believe black men are a certain way when it comes to sex. When you say that it's totally acceptable for them to carry on with that belief, and when you equate it to a preference for "tall men" or "older men" your just empowering this attitude.

It'd be like organizing an investment portfolio workshop and specifically inviting Jews because they're so cunning with financial issues. It's ridiculous and racist.

These parties are disgusting and disgraceful and while I don't believe we should pass laws against them per se I would love to see some very high-profile, public shaming take place.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 1:03 PM on March 31, 2007


It's still not racism for a woman to have a sexual preference for black men.
Yet that's not all that's going on here.

It is racism to say that "I know she would never date a black man". The fact that you are saying this while in the context of watching her fuck a black man is, at the very least, additionally interesting.
posted by Flunkie at 1:04 PM on March 31, 2007


wow, on preview, eleventy billion people just said what I said.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 1:05 PM on March 31, 2007


It's still not racism for a woman to have a sexual preference for black men.
posted by oaf at 2:58 PM on March 31 [+]
[!]


Of course not. But this statement is far too limited to encompass what is presented in this article.

Is it racist to indulge in the Mandingo stereotype, and ensure that black men's only role in your life is as fucktoys in a controlled environment?

It's a means of control for the white men to have the black men functioning as their cuckholders. Safely within their role, under the husband's watch, they seem manageable.

Do you wonder if the husband would be OK with his wife meeting and having sex with a black man (much less a dozen black men) without his presence?
posted by Jesse H Christ at 1:07 PM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Xpost, and amen.
posted by Jesse H Christ at 1:08 PM on March 31, 2007


It'd be like organizing an investment portfolio workshop and specifically inviting Jews because they're so cunning with financial issues. It's ridiculous and racist.

It would be like organizing an orgy where white men could have sex with Asian women, because they know how to "love you long time."

Amazing how people will defend any kind of contemptible stereotype, as long as it is a matter of sexual freedom.
posted by jayder at 1:16 PM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Anytime a new sexual titillation "scene" gets written about I think of how I first heard about bluetooth, and how it was used on commuter trains to anonymously hook up with people to have sex. It had people going for quite awhile, but pure fiction. Then there was the ... green shirts (was that the color?) where if you wore a shirt of a particular color and put the collar up whomever came up to you and "popped your collar" wanted to have sex with you.

So, yeah I'm a bit skeptical. Sure it's possible, but jeeze on ballance I'd vote bullshit
posted by edgeways at 1:23 PM on March 31, 2007


"Hands rove from chicken wings to breasts, from chips to hips, from guac to cock. One couple grind by the sink and feed each other meatballs."

I can't tell if the author is a horrible writer or a great one. Rhyming "guac" with "cock"...masterful.
posted by voltairemodern at 1:23 PM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


jayder - not quite the NEJM but this one's got white nurses and African Americans. Housewife porn is just a passing fad, nurses are classic.
posted by porpoise at 1:28 PM on March 31, 2007


This whole damn "Mandingo Party" thing is an extraordinary claim without extraordinary proof. Sure it's possible, and sure there are orgies of every discription, no doubt. But the specifics and the facts of this case are - lets say - unsubstantiated.
posted by Richard Daly at 1:29 PM on March 31, 2007


has anybody else had that awful Sinead O'Connor song going through their head this whole thread, or is that just me?
posted by jonmc at 1:32 PM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


This is truly bizarro world.

Some of you are actually arguing that it is racist to allow some single black men to go to a party and fuck some white women.

What would make it not racist? Some said they were being "bought" but yet the black men pay for the privilege of being there. Someone even suggested the women are racist. Yes, that makes perfect sense. They hate black people so much they are paying for the privilege of getting a black dick shoved up in them.

About 1/2 of you people have actually lost your damn minds.

I'm serious. You look for a boogieman behind every door, to the point that FUCKING A BLACK MAN is now being a racist.

Unbelievable. Next thing you know there'll be a racist uproar over banks that grant black people mortgages.
posted by Ynoxas at 1:32 PM on March 31, 2007 [11 favorites]


has anybody else had that awful Sinead O'Connor song going through their head this whole thread, or is that just me?

black toys on ho beds?
posted by pyramid termite at 1:38 PM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


The story is bullshit. This is pure fiction.

Yeah, totally agreed. See Glass, Stephen and Blair, Jason.

I'd have liked to see the fact-checking on this one. "So, was this a real Mandingo pounding, or just a run-of-the-mill hard-swap orgy...?
posted by frogan at 1:40 PM on March 31, 2007


Ynoxas wins.
posted by tkchrist at 1:45 PM on March 31, 2007


"Embrace the suck".
posted by Dizzy at 1:59 PM on March 31, 2007


Lots of you are calling bullshit on this. While I personally believe that the author fudged details and did not allow the facts to get in the way of telling a good story, I do think that this is a real organization and that such parties do take place.

From a Florida newspaper:
A pornographic Web site advertising sex parties from May 6 to May 12 for members of a club was traced last week to a Holmes Beach residence that was used as the site for the parties. . .

The party Web site featuring the Hopps home listed Art Hammer of the Florida Mandingos Club as a contact and gives a telephone number with a 239 area code. Area code 239 is in the Fort Myers/Naples area. The newspaper's efforts to reach Hammer for comment were unsuccessful.
posted by jason's_planet at 2:01 PM on March 31, 2007


"Having trouble with your calculus? What you need is a Chink to help you figure it out."

That's not the preferred nomenclature, dude.
posted by spiderwire at 2:04 PM on March 31, 2007 [4 favorites]


The argument of those who are saying this is not racist seems to be mostly along the lines, "It's not racist for a white woman to want to fuck a black man." The subject of the article is not, "White women like to fuck black men." Yes, that is one part of the whole story, but there are bigger issues here. Such as the aforementioned stereotypes of the hypersexualized black man, and the racist name that the men are collectively known by.

Seriously, would it be clearer if they called it a Nigger Party? (Or is that not racist too since "they call each other that"?)


Is it racist to indulge in the Mandingo stereotype, and ensure that black men's only role in your life is as fucktoys in a controlled environment?

There's no evidence that the only role that black men have in these couples lives is as fucktoys in a controlled environment.

One man says that his wife would never date a black man. And the reasonable assumption that rich, staunch Republicans who even the author refers to as "casually racist," and who go are members at exclusive country clubs, and who have a history of fearing black men just might not have too many black men in their lives!


It's a means of control for the white men to have the black men functioning as their cuckholders. Safely within their role, under the husband's watch, they seem manageable.


Except for the part in the article where dudes stop fucking women when the husband is too controlling. If it's about control, then it's not doing a very good job at it.

The fact is that the husband's intention was to control the guy who was fucking his wife. Whether he succeeded or not is not at all the issue. What is important significant is that his wish is to have these men compartmentalized into the role of studly savages (again, "Mandingo" for god's sake!). Whether or not the Mandingo in his gaze is willing to put up with being actually told what to do is irrelevant.

Racism doesn't have to be as wide-open as slavery in o
posted by Jesse H Christ at 2:12 PM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm with ikkyu2 -- you people need to get out more.

It's fucked up, sure, and probably involves a Venn diagram of subtly racist men with a cuckold fantasy (the psychology of which trivially involves reinforcing their own masculinity, because they own a wife who's so damn hot that superstuds want to fuck her). And the article obviously involves some level of obfuscation beyond the fake names.

But this sort of thing has been around for 20 years if when I first heard of it is any measure. Heck, there was a big deal case around here in the 80s where a white couple from an ultra-white city went to a black bar in a black town and the woman claimed she was gang-raped with a gun to her husband's head, but with no real explanation as to why they went to this bar in this town and ended up on the back staircase anyway. The story went around that they made a habit of it, although nobody knew what made this particular one go wrong.

And Mandingo, the novel, had a lot of imitators in the 1970s, so this isn't some recent extreme porn invention either. (Good Lord -- Long Dong Silver, people!)

Nancy Friday, if memory serves, reported on white women fantasizing about black men in her first sexual fantasies book, and in the sequel a decade later, said that she was getting fewer such reports, and speculated that as societal racism declined, the taboo declined, and more women had chances to date black men in college and so forth. These Mandingo parties are primarily a male fantasy, but I think the same metric holds.

Heck, it's even in that notorious Catherine Millet book, as excerpted in the Telegraph.
posted by dhartung at 2:13 PM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Some of you are actually arguing that it is racist to allow some single black men to go to a party and fuck some white women.

"Allow?" Seriously??
posted by Jesse H Christ at 2:19 PM on March 31, 2007


I would never argue that these parties should be made illegal. But the fact that there is freedom at stake does not change the racial dynamic of white control that makes this a microcosm for society at large.

The issue is not whether or not to "allow" this to go on (though I am still amazed that the object of the word "allow" in that sentence by Ynoxax was the black man!). The real issue is people's reaction in deeming perfectly benign, and by not recognizing the harm that is being done here and taking a stand, tacitly condoning and encouraging it.


What would make it not racist? Some said they were being "bought" but yet the black men pay for the privilege of being there. Someone even suggested the women are racist. Yes, that makes perfect sense. They hate black people so much they are paying for the privilege of getting a black dick shoved up in them.


Again, you could argue that it's not racist to call Mexicans "Spics" and praise them for their hard work on the lettuce fields, or call Asians "Chinks" and hire an Asian as an accountant. Calling someone a "Mandingo" and letting him fuck you? Still reduces that person to a 1-dimensional non-person, and is therefore demeaning and racist.
posted by Jesse H Christ at 2:27 PM on March 31, 2007


Next thing you know there'll be a racist uproar over banks that grant black people mortgages.

fuck, i wish i'd known about mandingo mortgages before i bought my house. i'll bet there's lots of white bankers who fantasize about dudes like me pricking that housing bubble...
posted by lord_wolf at 2:35 PM on March 31, 2007


Anytime a new sexual titillation "scene" gets written about I think of how I first heard about bluetooth ... green shirts (was that the color?)

Toothing and Greenlighting.

"It was immediately speculated to be a hoax by many users at Metafilter, where the first external link to the forum was posted. The hoaxers abandoned their attempt on the morning of July 6 after information about the deception was posted to Wikipedia."*
posted by ericb at 3:11 PM on March 31, 2007


I think the fact that people have had to "go outside" for their kicks (key parties in the 70s, orgies in the 80s, spin the bottle in the 90s and so on), indicates that they have really boring sex and no imagination about it whatsoever, certainly not interesting or god forbid "hot" sex.
posted by psmealey at 3:16 PM on March 31, 2007


Also -- "This Greenlighters post looks like a hoax."
posted by ericb at 3:16 PM on March 31, 2007


... now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for my latex and leather ball.
posted by psmealey at 3:16 PM on March 31, 2007


Good Lord, if only all racism was expressed as "ball my wife, please." To me it's no worse than the misogyny in dominant/submissive sex play. You can throw around the word "slut" (or worse) in the sack without being a woman-hater.

No smoke without fire, in either of those scenarios.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 3:19 PM on March 31, 2007


"or a Chinese man was brought in to go pee pee in the Coke?"
That's how we swing in San Francisco.

Seriously, anybody who is shocked by this must not have much exposure to what passes for "upper class" in this country. Why do you think they had a hard time distinguishing Abu Ghraib from just another frat party?
posted by 2sheets at 3:27 PM on March 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


Oh for God's sake.

Let me try in simpler terms:

1) Wanting to fuck a black man != racist
2) Perpetuating the stereotype of the black man as a hypersexualized stud and using him solely for that purpose = racist.

And that said--this is directed right at you, oaf--what consensual adults do amongst themselves is their own damn business, and I would never interfere, nor want to. That doesn't mean I can't find it disgusting. I think scat fetishist are abhorrent and disgusting, but would I ever want to interfere? Of course not. You're being asinine.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 3:49 PM on March 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


The most racist and potentially fiction-exposing quote: "Each guest at Hammer's parties pays an annual membership—couples pay $30 and Mandingos $75."

I agree with bookhouse. Please explain how this is racist.

If anything, I think it's very explicitly un-racist. The difference in membership fees makes it clear that these men are not being sold.
posted by roll truck roll at 3:00 PM on March 31


It's racist because each individual black man has to pay more than twice as much as a white couple to participate. Two white people are getting off for less than half the cost of one black man. Those double digit white women seemingly are getting off more than once. If this were Sam's Club or a country club, that would clearly be a racist membership policy. And the supposition that young, chiseled black men are willingly paying 5 times ($30 minus husband's $15 times 5 equal $75) what the fat, old, Republicans their fucking are makes this story all the more specious.

Unless of course Art Hammer has read Hayek and decided not to tell the parties what the others are paying.
posted by Toekneesan at 3:57 PM on March 31, 2007


I think some of you folks are missing something about swinging in general. There is a higher barrier of entry for single males regardless of race for what should be obvious reasons.
Not that I don't think racism plays a part in this story, if it isn't bullshit, but the membership fee issue isn't about race.
And besides $75 a year for any kind of action is a pretty good deal.
posted by 2sheets at 4:03 PM on March 31, 2007


The "benefits" of the white men and women are perhaps a given ( be they "power", "danger", "Mingling with 'The Other'", etc--- sort this out for yourselves), but I've yet to see an exploration of what the African-Americans receive out of this transaction.
Thoughts?
posted by Dizzy at 4:12 PM on March 31, 2007


You all need to get over yourselves.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 4:15 PM on March 31, 2007


Higher prices for single people than for couples in swinger clubs is common. Well, for single men, anyway, single women usually don't have to pay at all.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 4:17 PM on March 31, 2007


Metafilter: You all need to get over yourselves.
posted by psmealey at 4:19 PM on March 31, 2007


I've yet to see an exploration of what the African-Americans receive out of this transaction.

That would be: lots of fucking.
posted by TypographicalError at 4:30 PM on March 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


When I was a child, after a visit to Grandma's, I'd always return home to find cum on my Legos. Now it all makes sense.
posted by ColdChef at 4:31 PM on March 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


I meant besides the fucking.
posted by Dizzy at 4:40 PM on March 31, 2007


I meant besides the fucking.

What else matters?
posted by jonmc at 4:43 PM on March 31, 2007


Generally I'm a pretty liberal person, and whatever goes on between consenting human adults is usually okay with me.

But in the kids bedrooms? Ew. That's just not nice.
posted by Zinger at 4:52 PM on March 31, 2007


I meant besides the fucking.

Chicken wings?
posted by the other side at 4:54 PM on March 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


you'd prefer the kitchen, maybe?
posted by jonmc at 4:54 PM on March 31, 2007


i've got a great idea for a new parker brothers game ... doo

was it mandingo in the kitchen with a chicken wing?

or johnny wad in the library with a french tickler?

could it be colonel cumwad in the hot tub room with a dildo?

or miss spentyouth in the bedroom with a cat o nine tails?

wander around the house and gather the clues together to find how who fucked mrs white!
posted by pyramid termite at 5:00 PM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


you'd prefer the kitchen, maybe?

Fair point, but shipping kids off to grandma's house to have an orgy is bad enough... it just seems to me like you don't think much of your own kids, much less respect them as individuals, if you use their bedrooms as spare screwing space.

Furthermore, these same parents would probably have a coronary if they came home early one night and found their kids having a drunken party and local teens using their bed.
posted by Zinger at 5:02 PM on March 31, 2007


I find Jeff at the end of the night, busy cleaning up the kids' bedrooms—their grandparents will be returning them in a few hours, and the sheets need to be changed, the lightbulbs switched, the evidence removed. Shining a flashlight underneath the 11-year-old's bed, he tuts and tsks. "There, look, a condom wrapper! I missed one of these once, and the kids found it. You know, I leave a trash can in every room, but still, some people . . ."


This is the only offensive part to me. The rest is just sex with weird fetishes and slightly racist, but harmless, overtones.
posted by lazaruslong at 5:03 PM on March 31, 2007


well, find out who ... you know ...
posted by pyramid termite at 5:03 PM on March 31, 2007


Mommy, why does my GI Joe smell like poop?
posted by 2sheets at 5:03 PM on March 31, 2007 [4 favorites]


I think that it is possible in a theoretical sense for a cuckhold fantasist to want a black man to have sex with his wife for reason's that aren't implicitly racist. However, in the real world in which we live it is damn unlikely. I know my own interracial (non-cuckold thank you) fantasies are partially aesthetic, but sometimes include elements that I would say are racist or at least classist. I'm not proud of that, but the hind brain does not always behave in ways that one likes. Should we bring back the word wittol?

Also, on ageism and racism...

Findings observed in seven years of operation of the Project Implicit web site

* Implicit biases are pervasive. They appear as statistically "large" effects that are often shown by majorities of samples of Americans. Over 80% of web respondents show implicit negativity toward the elderly compared to the young; 75-80% of self-identified Whites and Asians show an implicit preference for racial White relative to Black.

posted by BrotherCaine at 5:05 PM on March 31, 2007


he was trying to eat an mre
posted by pyramid termite at 5:05 PM on March 31, 2007


if you use their bedrooms as spare screwing space.

what you never had sex with somebody in their parents bedroom before you had your place? worse? better? why?
posted by jonmc at 5:06 PM on March 31, 2007


"Look, dad. I think it's fair to warn you: I'm going to fuck black chicks on your bed one of these days and you'll only have yourself to blame."
posted by ColdChef at 5:14 PM on March 31, 2007


From guac to cock.

Heh. Cos the former is kind of the noise they make when the latter prods their tonsils.
posted by RokkitNite at 5:14 PM on March 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


So the smoke rising from the cozy chimney in Thomas Kinkade's pastoral fantasies? That's really steam, baby!
posted by rob511 at 5:39 PM on March 31, 2007


what you never had sex with somebody in their parents bedroom before you had your place? worse? better? why?

Nope, I didn't. And anyway, for a teen to do that is a kid's trick - a way to be rebellious. As I said, for adults to do that their kids indicates they don't think much of their kids. To say nothing of putting their children in harm's way. A condom wrapper is one thing. A used condom is quite another.
posted by Zinger at 5:42 PM on March 31, 2007


Racism is the worst thing ever! Boy. It feels so good to purge it where ever we find it, doesn't it.

Remember. There are no degrees of it. No spectrum. Just one dark black chasm of... er...

oh... SHIT that was racist.

I must punish myself. But first I will protest myself.

Hey hey ho ho
racist TK has got to go.
posted by tkchrist at 5:48 PM on March 31, 2007




Where are the pictures? All I get is a fat-ass white chick and a black guy who thinks he's Montell Jordan with her fat-ass hubby wrapped in a towel jerking off in the mud room? For gods sake, are those bagel chips in the foreground?

Puh-leeze.
posted by phaedon at 5:58 PM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


I own the god damned house. If I want to fuck in my kids room then god damned it I have every right. Bad enough you can't take a shit without the stupid idiot kids pounding on the door because they can't find the remote to watch that inane Sponge Fucking Bob. IN A MINUTE YOU LITTLE TWERPS! WHO OWNS THIS GOD FORSAKEN HOUSE ANYWAY!
posted by tkchrist at 6:07 PM on March 31, 2007


I think some of you folks are missing something about swinging in general. There is a higher barrier of entry for single males regardless of race for what should be obvious reasons.

While this is true, you have to see the difference here. The reason those barriers are in place at all is too keep ugly, sleazoid dudes from showing up expecting free sex with hot women.

This is different.

The only reason these parties are even happening in the first place is for white women to have sex with black men, so your example does not really scan.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 6:20 PM on March 31, 2007


You kids better behave or I'll make you clean the microfiber again!
posted by spiderwire at 6:23 PM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


No, but it IS racist to say "I'm ok with my wife fucking black men because it's not like she would ever date one of them!"
posted by arcticwoman at 6:24 PM on March 31, 2007


Zinger
for a teen to [have sex on their parents' bed] that is a kid's trick - a way to be rebellious.
I didn't do that to be rebellious. I did that because, hey, look baby, bigger bed!
posted by Flunkie at 6:40 PM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


So ... next meetup anyone?
posted by macadamiaranch at 6:45 PM on March 31, 2007 [4 favorites]


I should hire the Mandingos to come up to the Okanagan for a party. There are virtually no black people up here (as with most of Western Canada). There are, however, enough swingers that the frickin' alternative newsrag has done articles on it. Hell, I know a couple swingers.

I'll be I could turn a nice dollar on the event, and I bet the Mandingos would be handsomely tipped for their services. Win-win-win!
posted by five fresh fish at 6:50 PM on March 31, 2007


jason's_planet, great job adding the "fromguactocock" as a tag; that's perfect.

But you forgot this one:

doubledigitdicks
posted by jayder at 7:11 PM on March 31, 2007


jason's_planet, great job adding the "fromguactocock" as a tag; that's perfect.

But you forgot this one:

doubledigitdicks


Thank you. You're too kind.

But I've picked another catchphrase for a tag. I hope you like it.
posted by jason's_planet at 7:37 PM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Let me know when they put out the call for semi-scrawny white guys to bang lots of hotties for no strings attached. My $75 is ready.
posted by Justinian at 7:44 PM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


"There has to be a similar scam for whiteboys. I dunno, a Jeremiah Johnson party or something."

Actually, there is. All that's allowed it oral sex.

They call it a Donner party.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:48 PM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Mommy, why does my GI Joe smell like poop?

No matter how many times you say it, your poop is not a GI Joe.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 7:56 PM on March 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


I think this story is a well-crafted plant in order to bring about the perfect storm of MeFi comments to be favorited into oblivion.

The blue does not disappoint, carry on!
posted by dr_dank at 8:08 PM on March 31, 2007


but there is just one thing I don't get: why were the posters taken off the wall in the bedroom? I mean, what is that?
posted by bluesky43 at 8:55 PM on March 31, 2007


Oh my god. I remember my sister and I being shipped off to a sleepover once in a while. Were there Mandigos in my bedroom? TEH HORRUHS!

Excuse me now, I'm going to go spend some time feeling slightly traumatized.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:03 PM on March 31, 2007


bluesky, you don't want Ernie and Bert watching Mandingo and Mom go at it. It wouldn't be proper. Lacks decorum.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:05 PM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


but there is just one thing I don't get: why were the posters taken off the wall in the bedroom? I mean, what is that?

In my experience, it's difficult to get your nut while looking at "Bob the Builder." Not impossible, but difficult.
posted by ColdChef at 9:07 PM on March 31, 2007


no, really. that little detail is, to me, more bizarre than the entire article. These nutcakes are worried about "bob the builder" and bert and ernie spoiling the *mood*? pfft.
posted by bluesky43 at 9:11 PM on March 31, 2007


Especially because we've got a couple of squirters here tonight. You don't want that on the microfiber. Not good.

If you don't want it on the microfiber, you definitely don't want it on Bert N' Ernie.
posted by jason's_planet at 9:38 PM on March 31, 2007


ha ha. I haven't even read a word of the article yet, but I just clicked it and realized it was from Details.

I don't know if you have ever read that magazine before, but I am embarrassed to admit I have. It's a fiction magazine.
posted by drjimmy11 at 9:38 PM on March 31, 2007


Jay-Z ... Sean Paul ... Kathy Ireland


this is the hippest article I have ever read.
posted by drjimmy11 at 9:44 PM on March 31, 2007


MeTa.
posted by Eideteker at 10:05 PM on March 31, 2007


No, but it IS racist to say "I'm ok with my wife fucking black men because it's not like she would ever date one of them!"

Oh Please. When I was an Idiot Twenty Something there were a significant number of chicks I fucked that I never would have "dated" and for all sorts of idiotic and superficial reasons. Not the least of which it would have never "worked" outside a bedroom.

Fucking and "Dating" are very different things. At least they USED to be before you upstart kids, with your crazy hip hop and reality TV, got all Christian and afraid of AIDS and shit.
posted by tkchrist at 11:27 PM on March 31, 2007


I'm pretty squarely in the "whatever will middle aged surbanites think of next" (and why do I care) camp but I do find it interesting that in all the discussion of race no-one has mentioned the fact that some of the couples are black too.
posted by fshgrl at 11:38 PM on March 31, 2007


B. A. Baracus wants his haircut back.
posted by breezeway at 11:39 PM on March 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


arcticwoman writes "No, but it IS racist to say 'I'm ok with my wife fucking black men because it's not like she would ever date one of them!'"

Even if it happens to be the truth?

I still can't figure out which bit is racist. The saying of it, or it's being true?
And if the latter, how does it differ from a statement like this:

"I'm OK with my wife fucking hot young working class studs, because it's not like she would ever date one of them."

See, if the hot young working class stud had an income equivalent to the republican cuckold, perhaps the dowdy missus *would* be happy to date him -- if any such young man had sufficiently peculiar wiring that would let him countenance such an idea.

If that's the case, well, the statement about her not dating a black man may well be about the statistical improbability of her meeting one that meets her criteria, rather than being a statement that's racist per se.

And while I'll grant you that the likelihood is somewhat slim, personally, I'm a little bit relucant to start labelling people racists on fairly slight evidence when there are alternative explanations.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:27 AM on April 1, 2007


"Has anybody else had that awful Sinead O'Connor song going through their head this whole thread, or is that just me?"

"Black toys on ho beds?"


Nothing Compares to Mandingo Tool
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:43 AM on April 1, 2007


HA, you wish Eideteker.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:36 PM on April 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


No thanks, I'll keep my sanity. ;)
posted by Eideteker at 3:23 PM on April 1, 2007


All of this and no one has mentioned the movie by the same title. I have no idea why (well, I guess I kind of do - ha!) I remember seeing it on HBO a lot when I was younger.
posted by heartquake at 3:50 PM on April 1, 2007


Flunkie mentioned the movie.
posted by kirkaracha at 4:23 PM on April 1, 2007


[i]Irrellevant my ass. I can go into the public library with the intention of getting lapdances from strangers, but that doesn't make the library a stripclub. It's not important what one dude thinks, it matters how the system is set up. And there doesn't seem to be a system set up where white people are given carte blanche to control black people. For most people, it seems to be about hot fucking, not about domination.[/i]

That's not a very apt analogy. If you said you went into the public library and made moves on woman in order to try to get lap dances, that would fit.

Or if this library had Hot Slut hour where the female librarians were presented as simply fuck-toys and you tried to get a lap dance and the a librarian chose not to engage.

The system of a Mandingo party is exactly the problem--while the white men in attendance are not given carte blanche to control every aspect of the Mandingos' actions, they are clearly the dominant force here.

The problem, in a nutshell, is that the effect of a Mandingo party is that it denies the Black men agency, and relegates them to the status of objects.

posted by Jesse H Christ at 8:36 PM on April 1, 2007


And suggesting a working-class stud party in which construction workers fuck the wives of rich men is a great addition to the discussion. By taking race out of it, and replacing it with class, it becomes very clear how much of a power imbalance exists in a situation of privleged people reducing a person to a single quality.
posted by Jesse H Christ at 8:41 PM on April 1, 2007


I've actually been to one of these parties (although not at someone's house but at a public venue rented out for private use). They're real. So are the terrible snacks.

It's racist because each individual black man has to pay more than twice as much as a white couple to participate. Two white people are getting off for less than half the cost of one black man.

= ignorance of swinger culture. Single men always pay a higher price to come in, regardless of race.

The Senor Cardgage comment is dumb; why, exactly, is it different?

And, did the kneejerk racist accusers read this part: "And if they should see each other at the mall, they'll usually look the other way—it's all part of the swingers' pact."

That really is how it is. You do NOT acknowledge. You do NOT interact socially. Whether these white people have any black friends in their public lives or not is a different topic. But that they aren't best buddies with the hired studs when the lights come up is another, and race doesn't have anything to do with it.

There are Mandingo parties (they have a different name in my area, but it's the same idea: white couples get to meet up with pre-screened single black men who bedhop). There are messy parties. There are hotwife parties. There are golden unicorn parties. There are BBW parties. There are costume parties.

There are LOTS of kinds of parties out there, where consenting adults get off on something that other people might find weird. Does that mean that someone is always being demoralized or oppressed or degraded?
posted by Side Pony at 9:07 PM on April 1, 2007


I've actually been to one of these parties (although not at someone's house but at a public venue rented out for private use).

Hey, there, Side Pony! Welcome to MetaFilter.

If you don't mind my asking -- were you one of the single black men or were you in one of the couples? Do you have any fun stories to share? What do you think about this thread? It's nice to hear from someone who has actual real-life experience of this scene.

If you're comfortable sharing more, please tell us what you've seen. I think it would be fascinating.
posted by jason's_planet at 9:14 PM on April 1, 2007


Hmm, okay, sounds a bit like LOL PREVERTS to me... but I'll humor you. Yes I do have fun stories to share, but this isn't that kind of site and I only registered this account because I wanted to speak to the idea being thrown around that a white married woman + being hot for a black man = racism.

I was one of the couples at the aforementioned party, but FWIW, the WM-WF-BM thing wasn't the only aspect of the party (it was a relatively big party, 120+ people, kind of a B.Y.O.Kink, and there were also Sybian demos, squirt training, roleplay tableaus and BDSM equipment demos). Therefore, since I did not partake in the "Mandingo" offerings, I can't speak about it from the side of an active participant.

But from what I witnessed first hand, the black men were very much in control of the scene. They got to select the couples they played with, and cruised the room overtly assessing possible partners, like bidders previewing the offerings at a livestock auction. If anything it seemed like these guys felt they were the ones doing the humiliating. Maybe THAT is their motivation... the opportunity to turn the tables and stick it back to The Man. So to speak.

Also, whoever suggested that the black guys were doing this in order to get connections from the rich white men, that's LUDICROUS. The guys I know of who are on the call lists for "Mandingo"-type parties are graduate-degreed professionals who just like no-strings sex... and $75 to get in to a party is chump change.

From this one girl perv's POV, psychologically it's usually white men who like being cuckolded, and they do it for the same reasons anyone likes to be submissive: for the humiliation. Watching your wife get had by another dude, especially a hot chiseled young one with a 10-inch schlong, seems to be more about the cuckold than about race.

And if it is about race, maybe it's more about literally just skin color than about culture/heritage/history/prejudice. If you're fat, old, sagging, balding, back-furred and pasty, maybe the allure is watching your exact opposite bed your wife.

Obviously I'm not in anyone else's head, but I do not have the impression that the white husbands in this story are sitting back thinking, "Ha, ha, I'm repressing the negros again." I think it's far less nefarious, and far more complicated (and at the same time, far more primitive, and carnal) than that.
posted by Side Pony at 9:15 PM on April 1, 2007 [3 favorites]


Somebody page me when there is a Mundungus party.
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:56 AM on April 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


A badly framed and overdetermined article, perfect for getting me hot and bothered.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:55 AM on April 2, 2007


So, if it's racist to have a sexual preference for someone of a particular race ... is is sexist to have a preference for someone of a particular gender?
posted by yohko at 7:54 PM on April 2, 2007


two things, first Details is now basically a rag for homosexuals so that homoerotic slant is not surprising AT ALL.

second, the head honchos at CondeNet are LOVING all the page views (and advertising revenue) they are getting from shite content like this. Believe me, I know, I used to work in ad sales there.
posted by lannanh at 8:37 PM on April 2, 2007


yohko: Yes. Obviously.

Not all sexism is bad.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:48 PM on April 2, 2007


Doh. Bumped a button there.

I'm rethinking that. It's not sexism so much as physical specifications. Not sure what the difference is, though...

Is the firemen physical requirements standard a sexist document? It does effectively eliminate women from the force. OTOH, it also ensures they are physically capable of carrying a 250lb man down ten flights of stairs wearing full armour.

If that's a sexist spec, I'm a supporter of (some) sexism.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:54 PM on April 2, 2007


eh. the thing that bothered me the most was that they let people have sex in their kids' rooms. that should be off limits implicitly.
posted by misanthropicsarah at 8:11 AM on April 3, 2007


five fresh fish:
You miss my point here.
It's meant as an ironic comment on all the racism issues people have brought up in the thread, just pointing out how this other preference might be viewed in a different way. I don't have intent to say anything negative about anyone's sexual preferences for anything here.

Oh, and there are female firefighters, they have to pass the same tests that men do.

I think the people involved in these parties are sexyist, i.e. only want to have sex with people they find sexy. Aren't we all?
posted by yohko at 8:27 AM on April 3, 2007


I'm too sexy for my bicycles.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:57 PM on April 3, 2007


Who wants to be 250th Mandingo in line to bang the soccer mom?!
posted by spiderwire at 11:32 PM on April 3, 2007


*attaches rope to ass*
posted by pyramid termite at 5:36 AM on April 4, 2007


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