Regime change for the Big Orange.

April 1, 2007 7:50 PM

Hear our demands: give us back New York. Just think of the possibilities! Join the struggle. Or else.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (35 comments total)

FYI regarding the last link: a "draaiorgel" is a barrel or street organ, commonly seen in Dutch town market squares and streets.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:50 PM on April 1, 2007

If the Dutch filled in the East River, where would the mob dump their bodies? The Meadowlands?
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 8:05 PM on April 1, 2007

Just the ocean, probably.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:06 PM on April 1, 2007

they've already got holland and grand rapids and haven't done shit with it ... what do they need new york for?
posted by pyramid termite at 8:06 PM on April 1, 2007

Fantastic!
posted by Miko at 8:08 PM on April 1, 2007

*invests in wooden shoe futures*
posted by jonmc at 8:29 PM on April 1, 2007

I can get behind this.
posted by teferi at 8:34 PM on April 1, 2007

Of course, if the Dutch took over, the comedy clubs would immediately have to close.
posted by etaoin at 8:42 PM on April 1, 2007

Shouldn't it be "Give us back New Amsterdam!" ?
posted by porpoise at 8:44 PM on April 1, 2007

Of course, if the Dutch do take over, we can simply buy Manhattan back for $23 worth of tulips.
posted by frogan at 8:44 PM on April 1, 2007

Shouldn't it be "Give us back New Amsterdam!" ?

No, it should actually be "Give us back Nieuw Amsterdam!"

But the reason we got it from the Dutch a few hundred years back is cause it was such a pain in the ass to have to spell "new" with five frickin' letters, fer chrissake.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:49 PM on April 1, 2007

Might be kinda cool to spell it "Haarlem" again, though...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:50 PM on April 1, 2007

Actually, screw the Dutch. Let's just add extra vowels to every place in the five boroughs. Flaatbuush. Fluushing. Aastoria. Staaten Islaand. Centraal Paark. Cooneey Islaand.
posted by jonmc at 8:54 PM on April 1, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

You guys have never had DeRuijter Chocolate Sprinkles on bread and butter, have you? If you had, you'd want the Dutch back, pronto.
posted by maxwelton at 9:11 PM on April 1, 2007

Next they'll want their ovens back, and then we won't be able to have any cake.
Give the Dutch something shiny, toss in a coupla Bjork CDs; they'll never know the difference.
posted by Dizzy at 9:15 PM on April 1, 2007

Awesome! I just took a vacation to Europe (inculding Amsterdam) last month. Makes me wish I was there again. Despite this, I must say that I like New York the way it is (although canals all over the city would be cool).
posted by ChestnutMonkey at 9:15 PM on April 1, 2007

You guys have never had DeRuijter Chocolate Sprinkles on bread and butter, have you?

Overrated. It's all about the stroopwafels.
posted by Caviar at 9:23 PM on April 1, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

You'll have to take if from my cold, dead yuppie-condo-building chainstore-multiplying homogenizing douchebaggy twunt hands.

yes, I know, grind grind grind. except there's nowhere you can grind an axe outside of the sharper image and duane reade. And they only accept Yax brand* axes. And they** only sharpen them enough to cut jobs, not trees or much less arguments. Because there's no arguing with the free market, now is there?

I welcome the dutch. Coffeeshops. Waffles. Canals. Herring. For the love of god, sweet herring. Praatjes vullen geen gaatjes!!

*Yuppie axes of course.
** They won't let you sharpen your own ax. For fear of lawsuits.
posted by lalochezia at 9:35 PM on April 1, 2007

You'll have to take if it.......
posted by lalochezia at 9:36 PM on April 1, 2007

Sweet Mother of God I forgot about the herring.
Give 'em all a couple of "Best of a-ha" bootlegs and make sure they leave enough jars for every man-jack of us.
posted by Dizzy at 9:41 PM on April 1, 2007

It'd be nice if they knew how to resize images. The images in the second link are all multi-megapixel buggers quasi-resized with height and width attributes. Not even proportionately in some cases.
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:56 PM on April 1, 2007

so this means New York would have even more fingers being put into dikes?
posted by drjimmy11 at 9:21 PM on April 1, 2007

heh, the big orange
posted by jouke at 10:22 PM on April 1, 2007

gnfti, what is a kroket? If it is good to eat, then I say you can have the Big Orange/New Amsterdam if you people will just learn a little restraint in the use of vowels.
Would you be interested in having Texas too?
posted by Cranberry at 10:54 PM on April 1, 2007

Why did Constantinople get the works?

That's nobody's business but the jerks.
posted by Colloquial Collision at 11:21 PM on April 1, 2007

a little restraint in the use of vowels
koeieuier!
posted by jouke at 11:24 PM on April 1, 2007

Cranberry writes "gnfti, what is a kroket? If it is good to eat, then I say you can have the Big Orange/New Amsterdam if you people will just learn a little restraint in the use of vowels."

You'll be able to taste them for yourself when Febo re-open all the old Horn and Hardart automats.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:04 AM on April 2, 2007

Screw the Dutch, indeed. Give it back to the Lenape instead. The REAL owners. (Now that is a tribe that got screwed.)
posted by metasonix at 12:48 AM on April 2, 2007

They can have New Amsterdam - but not New Utrecht, Brooklyn will forever remain ours
posted by Flood at 3:15 AM on April 2, 2007

They can have New Amsterdam - Brooklyn will forever remain ours.

But maybe as a gesture of goodwill to your neighbors to the north, you can start spelling it Breukelen again.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:39 AM on April 2, 2007

At last New Yorkers will be able to get decent rijstaffel.
posted by languagehat at 5:19 AM on April 2, 2007

New Amsterdam, I love you, but you're bringing me down.
posted by Remy at 5:19 AM on April 2, 2007

It's become much too much.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:23 AM on April 2, 2007

: >
posted by amberglow at 5:40 AM on April 2, 2007

maxwelton writes "You guys have never had DeRuijter Chocolate Sprinkles on bread and butter, have you?"

You forgot the most awesome part: that's BREAKFAST.
posted by blag at 9:24 AM on April 2, 2007