Black Velvet Cheney

April 2, 2007 12:00 PM

The Velvet Republican. (ebay link)
posted by anticlock (34 comments total)

God is that bad!

"museum-quality black velvet paintings"..heh
posted by HuronBob at 12:04 PM on April 2, 2007

I know it says something about me, but part of me WANTS this. It splits the streams.
posted by cavalier at 12:09 PM on April 2, 2007

No thanks. I'd rather spend the extra money for the constipated Ashcroft portrait.
posted by Dr-Baa at 12:10 PM on April 2, 2007

I'd buy a version with scary clown makeup.
posted by Chinese Jet Pilot at 12:12 PM on April 2, 2007

Nothing says class like a rendering of neo-con demigods in black velvet.
posted by smackwich at 12:13 PM on April 2, 2007

Cavalier, I think you mean it crosses the streams.
posted by shmegegge at 12:15 PM on April 2, 2007

I wish this painting of Dick Cheney was dead.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 12:15 PM on April 2, 2007

I'd hit it.
With a two-by-four.
posted by Dizzy at 12:16 PM on April 2, 2007

Ghouls don't photograph well, but paintings of them seem to come out positively photorealistic!
posted by interrobang at 12:22 PM on April 2, 2007

"museum-quality black velvet paintings"..heh

Elvis Museum?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:22 PM on April 2, 2007

I like the little guy with a hammer jumping up and down and saying "Isn't it time you paid your respects?"
posted by OmieWise at 12:23 PM on April 2, 2007

From the FAQ:
Q: What is this thing?!?
A: This thing is an original Limited-Issue Velvet Republican black velvet painting from Tijuana, Mexico of Vice President Dick Cheney.
posted by moss at 12:28 PM on April 2, 2007

Lots of other good stuff in the same category on eBay:

2000 GOP Convention Barbie Doll

1980 Reagan Cowboy Hat Poster

Who is Dick Cheney and Why Is He Running for Congress? (includes rare picture of Cheney resembling a human being).
posted by unSane at 12:30 PM on April 2, 2007

Before the judge and the jury
Next morning I had to appear
The judge he says to me: "Young man,
your case it is proven clear
We'll give you seven years penal servitude,
to be spent faraway from the land
Far away from your friends and companions,
betrayed by the black velvet band"
posted by pyramid termite at 12:30 PM on April 2, 2007

Dartboard!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 12:38 PM on April 2, 2007

I think you guys are missing the sheer awesomeness that is the description of this thing. I can't tell if this is actually some frothing-at-the-mouth neo-con nutjob writing the copy, or if it's some prankster trying to come off as one. Either way, the acute desperation apparent in the writing is..well.. delicious.

Let me quote:

"Get Your Patriot Portrait Collectibletm Genuine, Original, Hand-Painted, Authentic Mexican, Limited-Issue Velvet Republican,tm Presidential-Style, Tijuana black velvet painting from Indignico Inc. today! But you must act soon, move quickly. Buy it now. Supplies are strictly limited. Resources are dwindling. Life is very short. Get your Limited-Issue Velvet Republicantm presidential-style black velvet portrait right now--before it's too late."
posted by Parannoyed at 12:39 PM on April 2, 2007

shmegegge, absolutely right and thank you. I think his evil eyes drew me in and made me forget my Ramis.
posted by cavalier at 12:41 PM on April 2, 2007

Because the Alan Greenspan oil portraits were popular.
posted by peeedro at 12:47 PM on April 2, 2007

But it now price - $350! Bwahahahahahaha.....
posted by tristeza at 12:51 PM on April 2, 2007

What a rip off. The velvet yoda elvis I got in Tijuana was only $50.
posted by miss lynnster at 1:05 PM on April 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'd like it if it were a more natural representation of his visage...such as this
posted by horsemuth at 1:09 PM on April 2, 2007

Who, this image on flickr is linked in the ebay listing and it's a story onto itself.
posted by mathowie at 1:15 PM on April 2, 2007

Who, this image on flickr is linked in the ebay listing and it's a story onto itself.

Wow, check out the Tijuana black velvet Pat Buchanan in the background. It's like cognitive dissonance, but in Pog form!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:18 PM on April 2, 2007

Outsourced patriotism is best kind!
posted by R. Mutt at 1:21 PM on April 2, 2007

I'd really like to see a black velvet painting of Cheney wearing the artist Romero's Che t-shirt
posted by hwestiii at 1:55 PM on April 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

Che-ney
posted by jaronson at 2:13 PM on April 2, 2007

Check out this framed print I saw for sale in the mall a few years back.
posted by phearlez at 3:12 PM on April 2, 2007

horsemuth: no problem!
posted by papalotl at 3:58 PM on April 2, 2007

smackwich, I sincerely hope you meant "demagogues" and not "demi-gods."
posted by piratebowling at 3:59 PM on April 2, 2007

Oh shit...that is really disturbing.
posted by horsemuth at 7:17 PM on April 2, 2007

I wonder if they made any sales at that convention? Or through their full page ad?
posted by Jilder at 8:45 PM on April 2, 2007

They should do one of Bush as "Dan Quayle in cowboy boots."
posted by homunculus at 9:14 PM on April 2, 2007

That's not Dick Cheney, that's Lee Iacocca!
posted by dirigibleman at 9:45 PM on April 2, 2007

Metafilter: No American Citizen Should Be Without One.
Metafilter: Genuine Original Authentic Mexican
Metafilter: Isn't it Time You Paid Your Respects?
posted by NewBornHippy at 9:35 AM on April 3, 2007