oh you fuckers. It would have been so funny to not make any comments at all - what a missed chance. Because he's right you know - without a "first post", there can't be any later ones. posted by freebird at 5:11 PM on April 5, 2007
I just want to say that AICN is scuzzhole run by fuckwit and this fictional depiction of a first poster is probably not far off from the average talkbacker there. posted by GavinR at 5:20 PM on April 5, 2007 [1 favorite]
Fucking Salon. First I get an Ad, then I try to apple-click the comments while it's playing, and fuck it up so lose the video, get taken to another ad and when I hit back, I get taken back here.
ATTENTION FLASH, AJAX and AD-HUNGRY DEVELOPER FUCKS: MAKE MY BACK BUTTON WORK, DICKS. posted by bonaldi at 5:21 PM on April 5, 2007 [6 favorites]
Seventh post! posted by grouse at 5:22 PM on April 5, 2007
and oh, I didn't fuck it up. They won't allow me to use tabs.
ATTENTION JAVASCRIPT-LINK-CREATING DICKS: MAKE MY NEW TAB CLICKS WORK, BAWBAGS posted by bonaldi at 5:23 PM on April 5, 2007 [1 favorite]
Agreed. Plus, the video didn't even show up in Firefox for me, had to use IE. posted by knave at 5:23 PM on April 5, 2007
last post! posted by empath at 5:23 PM on April 5, 2007
Frist! posted by Freen at 5:23 PM on April 5, 2007
That was better then I thought, you bitches. You ballbags. posted by strawberryviagra at 5:29 PM on April 5, 2007
no video for me. using firefox. posted by bhouston at 5:35 PM on April 5, 2007
I'm using firefox, and I had no problems at all. It's a flash video, so if youtube works this should work too. I didn't see a salon interstitial advertisement when first hit the page, so that might be screwing something up. posted by delmoi at 5:37 PM on April 5, 2007
SALON HATES YOU. posted by Artw at 5:37 PM on April 5, 2007
From the comments here I gather this must be a really, really great link and I'm definitely for sure going to click it, but maybe after I watch the next MeFi post, which is a 2 hour video of the inside of some guy's ass. posted by DU at 5:41 PM on April 5, 2007 [13 favorites]
At least it's not a chain-letter poster that would say something like an Australasian toddler died fourteen years ago today at the hands of a first-poster and you will die the same way unless you make fourteen first posts within fourteen minutes! posted by cowbellemoo at 5:47 PM on April 5, 2007
MetaFilter: A two-hour video of the inside of some guy's ass. posted by fandango_matt at 5:53 PM on April 5, 2007 [1 favorite]
Whatever happened to posting insightful things like
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! posted by Muddler at 5:55 PM on April 5, 2007
After convincing Adblock Plus to let FIRST! through the velvet rope, I had a good laugh. Thanks, delmoi! posted by EatTheWeak at 5:56 PM on April 5, 2007
...after I watch the next MeFi post, which is a 2 hour video of the inside of some guy's ass.
What's with the lameass coat? It woulda been funnier if he dressed up like a geek... or maybe a terrorist... or your mom. That woulda been funny. posted by ZachsMind at 6:10 PM on April 5, 2007
my fucking god, there should be an ability to favorite something many times just so i can favorite du's comment until my finger stops being able to click. posted by shmegegge at 6:13 PM on April 5, 2007
I want to be the second to his first.
I love how he stifles his crackup during the mull-it-over bit.
(Firefox, no problem, Salon, no ad.) posted by iguanapolitico at 6:18 PM on April 5, 2007
I dunno, I think they glamorized it too much. Now all the kids are gonna want to be doing it. posted by mediareport at 6:23 PM on April 5, 2007
It was funny at first (haha, get it?), but if anything deserves the old "this went on for x minutes longer than it should have" it's this. posted by the other side at 7:22 PM on April 5, 2007
I like "first" posts because they clue you in immediately as to the nature of the site's community, and usually that's a reflection of the quality of the site itself.
(Please don't pop my bubble and tell me the Trinity here spends any time at all deleting "first" posts...) posted by maxwelton at 7:27 PM on April 5, 2007
Well, here it is... a bad video, by a poor actor, about a concept that is fairly stupid to begin with. Followed by fairly meaningless comments about a bad video, by a poor actor, about a concept that is fairly stupid to begin with. I'm only hoping that this will all be followed by a metatalk callout about the comments about the bad video by the poor actor, about a concept that is fairly stupid to begin with.
Once that happens, could someone please post an askmefi about how to do a bad video, by a poor actor, about a concept that is fairly stupid to begin with. Followed by fairly meaningless comments about a bad video, by a poor actor, about a concept that is fairly stupid to begin with.
And, could someone then post "first" to that askmefi? please? posted by HuronBob at 9:24 AM on April 6, 2007
Look, ask anybody on metafilter, I'm the king of adding useless comments after-the-fact for no reason. You cannot win. I will fight you on the threads, I will fight you on the interblags. Last will be mine! posted by tehloki at 1:48 PM on April 14, 2007
Doctrine & Covenants of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Section 88:59 posted by miss lynnster at 9:55 PM on April 14, 2007
Is that so? Well, we can trade old scripture verses like a couple of lightweights, or we can sit here until 7:03 PM on May 5 and see who can post Ω before the thread gets auto-archived. posted by Burhanistan at 10:03 PM on April 14, 2007
Oh don't tell me you're giving up! Damn, people are just no damn fun. I didn't even get to quote anything from the Watchtower or I-Ching! posted by miss lynnster at 11:27 PM on April 14, 2007
20 days left, lynnster. You might think you have fortitude, but your limits haven't been tested as you might believe. posted by Burhanistan at 12:05 PM on April 15, 2007
So you say. Ahhh but I am a stubborn one, you see! Just ask any of my ex-boyfriends. Or relatives. Or friends. Or coworkers. Or acquaintances. Or... posted by miss lynnster at 1:24 PM on April 15, 2007
We're probably really pissing off everyone who has this on their my comments page. posted by tehloki at 7:33 PM on April 15, 2007
anybody for a game of tic-tac-toe? posted by tehloki at 1:34 AM on April 16, 2007
We could recreate the Kasparov vs. Deep Blue chess match a la the tweakers in an earlier post. posted by Burhanistan at 8:51 AM on April 16, 2007
Not much for chess, really... posted by miss lynnster at 9:21 AM on April 16, 2007
How about making one of those really long sub sandwiches, then? posted by Burhanistan at 9:22 AM on April 16, 2007
Yeah, that sounds good. Or Dizzy can serve some of those kickass date bars he's so known for. posted by miss lynnster at 11:27 PM on April 18, 2007
White Knight to E4, Check posted by tehloki at 6:35 PM on April 22, 2007
I just like raw dates. Perfect food. I have some medjool. Medjool date takes white knight. No check! posted by Burhanistan at 7:30 PM on April 22, 2007
Ok. If you want to play dice we'll first have to carve them out of date pits. posted by Burhanistan at 6:20 AM on April 23, 2007
Can't we have dizzy do that? I'm sure he has a zillion spare date pits lying around. posted by miss lynnster at 9:09 AM on April 23, 2007
He might, unless he's using those dried and pitted baking dates from a pouch. He'd better not be using those dried and pitted baking dates from a pouch. posted by Burhanistan at 9:40 AM on April 23, 2007
Hmmmm. Should we ask him? [Still last.] posted by miss lynnster at 6:30 PM on April 23, 2007
You were last, but you won't last. posted by Burhanistan at 2:22 PM on April 24, 2007
You underestimate me, grasshopper. posted by miss lynnster at 7:51 PM on April 24, 2007
If Dizzy runs out of dates he can substitute frozen grasshoppers. posted by Burhanistan at 8:38 PM on April 24, 2007
Entomophagy for the progeny so they don't go hungry. posted by Burhanistan at 2:11 PM on April 25, 2007
Dammit, I keep forgetting to have progeny.
[Adds to list of "things to do."] posted by miss lynnster at 3:01 PM on April 25, 2007
BTW, I'm going to be out of town & not online much until 5/1. So don't be lulled into a false sense of "I'm last! She gave up!" within the coming week.
No, no, I'm not done... I shall not be defeated without a battle, my friend... posted by miss lynnster at 3:04 PM on April 25, 2007
Nope. Was thinkin' Scarface but his uzi wasn't a squirt gun that I remember... posted by miss lynnster at 11:59 AM on May 4, 2007
"How much for the speedboat, man?"
"Ho ho! Da speed boat ees very expensive, man. Da speedboat ees feefty thousan' dollars."
recent "scandal" involving principal...if I mentioned the background 004D73 that would just be giving it away posted by Burhanistan at 1:34 PM on May 4, 2007
Nah, it probably wouldn't be. Giving up coffee so I am not even sure of my own name today. Head hurts.
I'm now thinking maybe you're quoting Glengarry Glen Ross... which, I must confess, I've never seen. Yes, I know that makes me lame. But... while I may be lame, I'm still last! Yeah! posted by miss lynnster at 3:03 PM on May 4, 2007
Giving up the coffee is rough. You'd best drink some lightly steeped green tea for the time being to get a little bit o'caffeine in your blood instead of punishing yourself. posted by Burhanistan at 7:49 PM on May 4, 2007
So what were you quoting?
BTW, I caved in & gave up on giving up. Coffee is my friend... posted by miss lynnster at 11:32 PM on May 4, 2007
niwa niwa niwa niwa tori ga iru posted by tehloki at 12:46 AM on May 5, 2007
Giving up giving up is better. Like the old generic monk thing about being proud of abstaining from the passions and pleasures of this world but unable to give up the pride of giving things up.
posted by drleary at 5:09 PM on April 5, 2007