Comments on: IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO BE SURE!

IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO BE SURE!

loquacious — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 04:14:04 -0800

All these worlds are yours, save Europa. Attempt no landings he...llo! What the hell is wrong with you!? Did you just nuke Jupiter?

By: delmoi

delmoi — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 04:19:40 -0800

What a ridiculous theory.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 04:29:19 -0800

What a ridiculous theory. I don't see you working for NASA, smarty pants. Also, you obviously need to read more classic hard SF. See all those tags? They're clues to a particular book in a series of books written by one of the preeminent minds in science and science fiction. In this book the author explores exactly these possibilities. It could actually happen. The only real difference between Sol and Jupiter is about an order of magnitude of mass and density and at least a few orders of magnitude of temperature. But don't let that stop you. Smaller stars already exist in our galaxy. It could be entirely possible to ignite a suitable giant gas planet and turn it into a star. The only reason it isn't already a star is because it failed to achieve enough density for ignition.

By: sergeant sandwich

sergeant sandwich — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 04:30:40 -0800

just to head off any folks who don't catch the irony in loq's post: galileo's RTGs use ²³⁸Pu, a non-fissile alpha emitter, whereas nuclear weapons use ²³⁹Pu, which can actually sustain a chain reaction. also "jacco van der worp" !?! lol

By: delmoi

delmoi — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 04:33:27 -0800

By: loquacious

loquacious — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 04:38:13 -0800

There was only one sentence in the page you linked too about potentially starting a fusion reaction. Most of the page was about the idea that the small reactor could have gone critical under high pressure, which is what I found ridiculous. This is why explicate yourself and/or provide an argument when you make a statement like "What a ridiculous theory." "What a ridiculous theory." isn't an argument.

By: DU

DU — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 04:39:27 -0800

That dark splotch is bigger than the Earth. Even if the device was explosive, it wouldn't be THAT big.

By: Osmanthus

Osmanthus — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 04:40:26 -0800

This Jupiter/Earth comparison shows how big earth is compared to Jupiter. Now look at picture of the splotch and notice how large the expanse is compared to earth. Now ask yourself: would one plutonium bomb explosion make a splotch bigger than earth?

By: DU

DU — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 04:40:52 -0800

Scrolling down through the madness, I see there's hand-waving about a "bubble of superheated gas" expanding and whatnot. Sha.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 04:45:22 -0800

Listen. I bet if we take all this unfettered nerd umbrage and if we all start thinking really hard about squishing Jupiter we could get it to ignite in no time. Just think of the mountain-sized chunks of diamond!

By: hal9k

hal9k — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 04:47:58 -0800

I'm afraid.

By: DU

DU — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 04:48:02 -0800

So wait, are we supposed to be discussing the page or discussing how we could ignite Jupiter? Because I don't think we'd want to do the latter even if we could. We've got enough global warming as it is.

By: hal9k

hal9k — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 04:53:19 -0800

Look, did you want the hyperspace bypass moved or didn't you?

By: veedubya

veedubya — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 04:55:22 -0800

Bad science meets conspiracy theory. Fifty paragraphs where ten would do. Wrapped up with the "it happened in this book I read, so it must be true" defence. Lovely. I don't see you working for NASA, smarty pants. Maybe delmoi's from the future where everybody's a rocket scientist, and NASA is looked back on with the same sort of curiosity as people nowadays look back at alchemy. In defense of this theory, I posit that lots of science-fiction books contain stuff about time travel, and it's definitely suspicious that NASA haven't used any of their telescopes to study delmoi up close.

By: dbiedny

dbiedny — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 04:58:32 -0800

It's an article by no less than Richard Hoagland, so at least you included the batshitinsane tag. But BEST OF THE WEB?!? Maybe in a Mirsky kinda way. Tsk, tsk.

By: Sir BoBoMonkey Pooflinger Esquire III

Sir BoBoMonkey Pooflinger Esquire III — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:03:38 -0800

I actually met van der Worp at a conference in Belgium, and let me just say this--the man is the next Einstein!. All you naysayers can go straight to hell--which happens to be earth once global warming meets the second sun.

By: three blind mice

three blind mice — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:16:27 -0800

galileo's RTGs use 238Pu, a non-fissile alpha emitter, whereas nuclear weapons use 239Pu, which can actually sustain a chain reaction. The even isotopes plutonium-238, -240, and -242 are not fissile but are fissionable and can be split by high energy neutrons. A successful test was conducted in 1962, which used reactor-grade plutonium in the nuclear explosive in place of weapon-grade plutonium. The yield was less than 20 kilotons.

By: papercake

papercake — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:19:09 -0800

Will I dream?

By: seanyboy

seanyboy — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:19:59 -0800

I wouldn't worry too much about igniting Jupiter. I'm sure that its far enough away for it not to make an impact on global warming.

By: smoothvirus

smoothvirus — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:20:05 -0800

Utter nonsense. I see Mr. Hoagland continues to make his living by duping the gullible. Read this article if you want to find out why all of this is hogwash.

By: hal9k

hal9k — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:21:48 -0800

actually met van der Worp at a conference in Belgium, and let me just say this--the man is the next Einstein! Over here in the U.S. they say he's the current and past Einstein. But never in any two states at once.

By: sonofslim

sonofslim — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:23:21 -0800

Do you like my Easter bonnet? I made it from tinfoil!

By: seanyboy

seanyboy — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:24:53 -0800

Some distance and size based context

By: geos

geos — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:27:52 -0800

But, television is replete these days with highly publicized legal cases where a defendant is tried -- for murder, no less – based on strictly circumstantial evidence alone ... like, a single strand of hair. The case for "something extraordinary" happening to Jupiter -- with NASA inadvertently behind it -- is based on a chain of far more solid evidence at this point. if it's good enough for TV it's good enough for me. All hail our new sun!

By: mr_book

mr_book — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:30:07 -0800

This is being taken seriously? I thought it was a joke post. Because, I dimly recall NOT incinerating years ago. Maybe it was just me.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:30:59 -0800

now it's down in the atmosphere and drops of jupiter are everywhere, hey, hey it feels like summer and blackened rain with light so bright it hurts my brain, hey, hey i bet those martians and men in the moon are gonna sing a different tune, hey, hey tell me, how ya like our second sun? did europa get overdone? did titan get all blistered? and io get all black and kippered? tell me, should we nuke saturn too? turn the rings to burning goo? ah, you're gonna miss 'em when you go looking for them way out there next we're going to vent frustation and change the shapes of constellations, hey hey a big assed hand with middle finger will teach those sirians not to linger, hey hey now let's go to the atmosphere of uranus and neptune and burn em clear cause it's urban renewal on a system wide scale and screw whatever might have been there tell me, are five suns quite enough? don't you love a world where it's always day and you never see the milky way? tell me, did venus blow your mind when we shoved it up the sun's behind? ah, you're gonna miss 'em when you go looking for them way out there can you imagine looking like deep fried chicken every time you go out walking in winter even though you know it's wrong? can you imagine photons dancing, electrons prancing, neutrons burning inside your body feeling just like a microwaved cup of coffee?

By: DU

DU — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:34:41 -0800

Say the second sun is 1/10th the power of Sol. And say it is 4 times farther away at minimum distance. 4 times the distance is 1/16th the power, so the total is about 1/160th the power of Sol, or .6% of the Sun's power. Which sounds tiny, but what about the Maunder Minimum?

By: tehloki

tehloki — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:37:00 -0800

The fact that the first atom bomb test could have theoretically ignited the atmosphere (they didn't know the activation energy of N2 at the time) is a bit closer to home, and much scarier to boot.

By: kisch mokusch

kisch mokusch — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:49:46 -0800

I say we should light it up, and watch the muthafucka burn.

By: killdevil

killdevil — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 05:54:22 -0800

Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? Stop, Dave. I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.

By: pax digita

pax digita — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 06:01:03 -0800

Feeling sorta nostalgic for the Art Bell show....

By: dbiedny

dbiedny — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 06:10:21 -0800

Feeling sorta nostalgic for the Art Bell show.... Screw Art Bell, my show is MUCH better... (self-link, with all due apologies)

By: sidereal

sidereal — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 06:18:02 -0800

Another kook site! YAY!

By: delmoi

delmoi — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 06:20:35 -0800

This is why explicate yourself and/or provide an argument when you make a statement like "What a ridiculous theory." "What a ridiculous theory." isn't an argument. Argument about what though? You seem to be talking about something entirely different then your link. _{If you're wondering, I think It's a ridiculous theory because in order to start a fusion reaction, the pieces need to be lined up perfectly, that's not going to happen with the battery on the probe. Also, it's a completely different isotope in the first place!}

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 06:27:33 -0800

The real scandal was in downgrading Pluto from planet status, so NASA families couldn't receive overtime benefits. Where's Lou Dobbs to defend those Americans?

By: b1tr0t

b1tr0t — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 06:43:02 -0800

+ for the title and tags. Quality post!

By: Pastabagel

Pastabagel — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 07:13:00 -0800

also "jacco van der worp" !?! lol posted by sergeant sandwich at 7:30 AM on April 9 Vanderworp sounds too much like Zarniwoop. Which infuriates me, because if anyone should be on vacation in their office, it should be me. Screw Art Bell, my show is MUCH better... (self-link, with all due apologies) posted by dbiedny at 9:10 AM on April 9 Until you get your own Area 51 caller, you will always live in the shadow of the master.

By: CynicalKnight

CynicalKnight — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 07:20:43 -0800

We totally popped a cap in that gasbag. We also front-ended a comet, dissed Pluto, snapped some upskirt shots of Saturn, and turned Mars into a scrap yard. Earth is the sorriest one of all - the slum planet. We're bringing down the real estate value of the whole solar system.

By: bru

bru — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 07:42:45 -0800

Thanks, loquacious, great post: a few images, a detective story and science facts (real or bogus, it doesn't matter: only plausibility matters). That was fun.

By: robocop is bleeding

robocop is bleeding — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 07:51:20 -0800

It was Thursday night, stormy and bleak, when she walked through my door. Her lab coat was soaked and she shivered as she peeled it off. The red blouse she had on beneath wasn't much drier and I could see the outlines of her considerable assets poking up at me through the thin fabric. I wouldn't be much of a detective if I didn't notice her shaking hand as she knocked a cigarette loose from a battered pack. I ushered her to a seat, the nice leather job across from my desk. I leaned forward to light her smoke and take another quick glance at her curves. She had the sort of body that would make an astrophysicist turn the Hubble planetside just to get a closer look. I saw the ring on her finger, a mountain of a diamond, and thought that this dame was makin' some fella a lucky man. How right I was. "I'm here about my husband," she said. Her voice was soft, husky with a hint of an Eastern European accent. Russian? Czech? I couldn't tell. Ever since the Wall came tumbling down, broads like this one - all curves and smiles and PhDs in observational astronomy - have been flooding the market, looking for any half-wit with a research budget and two dimes to rub together. "Really? Somehow, I don't think anybody'd be so stupid as to step on your orbit, toots, but stranger stuff has happened. I've seen things you wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in-" "No. I trust my husband. He would never do anything to hurt me." I shrugged and settled down on the corner of my desk. I hate it when they interrupted my stories, but what's a guy to do? I'm just a gumshoe with a degree in solar astronomy, a bare Masters at that. Judging by the ID badge hanging off her lapel, she was big time. Full boat grants, Nobel Prize material, the sorts that can flip the science on its head with nothing more than a conference and a Nova special. People like that, they call the tune and fellows like me, we just dance to it. "In fact," she continued, pausing only to take a drag off her coffin nail, "I'm here because I think he's trying to protect me." She smiled. "He's so proud, so noble.." "So why come to me? If your husband doesn't think it's something to worry about..." "Because I worry anyways. My husband is.. is a powerful figure. He has lots of enemies... Can I trust your discretion, Mr...?" "Kepler. Jack Kepler." Her brow rose at my name. They always do when I tell'm my name. I may have been a piss-poor scientist, but great-great-great grampa gave me a hell of a business card. "Mr. Kepler," she sighed, her green eyes obscured by a cloud of smoke and a wayward lock of hair, "Somebody took a shot at my husband. Someone is trying to kill him." I leaned back, interested, but playing hard-to-get now would help run up my fee. "So? That's the sorta thing for the cops, not me.." "You do not understand. My husband is Jupiter-" I'm not sure if I coughed or just plain choked at the name. Jupiter. Holy Helios. This was big. "Whoa, whoa, lady.. M'am. I'm strictly small beans here. Planetoids at best, maybe a comet or two. Guys like your husband should have the NASA pros out watching his back, not a shamus like me." "That is why I come to you, Mr. Kepler. I do not trust the NASA men. Just last year, that Pluto scandal, where were they? One minute Pluto is a planet, the next.. what? Just because he is seen near Kupier belt." She shook her head, dark locks shaking off drops of water onto my floor. "No, I do not trust NASA men." She looked back up at me. "So, will you help me, Mr. Kepler? Will you-" "One hundred a day, plus expenses." She paused, her eyes brightening. I think I saw a smile tremble across her lips. "So you take the case?" "Yeah," I said, resting my chin on my fist as I turned to look out the window. My mind was turning a mile a minute. Someone took a shot at Jupiter. This was big time. "I'll take the case." In the distance, thunder rolled. * * * Tune in next time for the continuing adventures of Jack Kepler, Celestial Gumshoe!

By: Hogshead

Hogshead — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 07:52:53 -0800

It's Richard 'Face on Mars' Hoagland. For heaven's sake.

By: nathancaswell

nathancaswell — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 07:58:46 -0800

WILL WRITE STORIES FOR FAVORITES.

By: WPW

WPW — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 08:02:57 -0800

My God - it's full of chocolate. /Easter "Van der Worp" - excellent

By: edgeways

edgeways — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 08:21:52 -0800

What has this to do with 9/11?

By: zarq

zarq — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 08:24:13 -0800

Great post, tags and title, loquacious! Now, would you mind going EVA and checking the AE-35 unit? It seems to be malfunctioning.

By: anotherpanacea

anotherpanacea — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 08:24:36 -0800

I have a friend named van der Werff... not sure if it's a tragic tendency or an absurdist inclination, but it's Dutch through and through.

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 08:56:13 -0800

Nice work robocop is bleeding but Ruby makes for a much better celestial gumshoe. ...Galactic, actually. *smirk* Her voice is sexier and she arrives with her own soundtrack.

By: jeffamaphone

jeffamaphone — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 09:14:57 -0800

Anyone that has pure HTML centered on a page with that background cannot be trusted. I think I could write a small program that uses naive baysean filtering to detect this.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 09:24:53 -0800

locquacious cracked me up. this is good shit, thanks. also, did anyone else notice that Art Bell's radio show makes a prominent appearance in the 3d Realms FPS game Prey?

By: thecaddy

thecaddy — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 09:29:57 -0800

I thought they were going to wait until 2012 to ignite Jupiter?

By: taosbat

taosbat — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 09:49:15 -0800

I'm ok with the thought of NASA trying to preserve the sanctity of some possible life-forms on Europa and unintentionally lighting Jupiter up with an ersatz nuclear bomb named Galileo and thereby boiling away any possible life-forms on Europa in a puff of celestial steam and then helping turn Earth into a raisin. It seems like an appropriate ending. ♫ Goodnight Irene ♫

By: Artw

Artw — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:38:14 -0800

If Jupiter can take a multi-megatonnage comet impact I'm sure it can take a few chunks of hot metal. Meanwhile: Physicist needs $20,000 for time-travel experiment

By: bruce

bruce — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:49:00 -0800

this would be a richer lode for comedy if we had nuked uranus.

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:00:17 -0800

My God. It's full of kooks.

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:02:20 -0800

Oh, and I saw that in the demo, shmegegge. I hung around that room for a while just to see how far it would go. Cracked me up. Also, nice title on this post.

By: Artw

Artw — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:12:22 -0800

bruce - Uranus has rings.

By: storybored

storybored — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:21:12 -0800

Unfortunately for this theory, you can't detonate a plutonium bomb by just mashing chunks of Pu together. It's a precision operation requiring exact timing, which doesn't happen when the probe disintegrates will-nilly on re-entry. Oh well. Great thread though. Thunderous Applause for robocop-is-bleeding and CynicalKnight, "We totally popped a cap in that gasbag." has to be funniest thing i've read all week.

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:22:07 -0800

Not to lend any credence to this utter insanity, but just outta curiosity, not that I believe this could remotely happen anyway, but IF Jupiter were to ignite and go solar, would that not increase its density, causing it to have a greater gravitational pull, upsetting the delicate orbits that all planets around Sol have enjoyed for millenia? I mean, wouldn't Earth suddenly just lose its orbit around the sun and fly out into space and we'd all die anyway? Maybe the orbit is losing cohesion already which is why it's the first week of April and in Texas there were reports of snow this weekend. ...I'm just sayin'...

By: lord_wolf

lord_wolf — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:38:11 -0800

i don't work for NASA, and i don't know much about planetary physics, but i think something's going to happen. something wonderful.

By: andywolf

andywolf — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:39:44 -0800

haven't previewed everyones remarks yet... but i've just gotta ask. any of you consider the possiblity of an invasion from europa? what if they take this as a pre-emptive strike?!?!?!?!?!?

By: Catfry

Catfry — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:54:51 -0800

ZachsMind, gravity follows linearly from mass, i.e number of atoms. Jupiter consists of a set amount of atoms. The only way to increase the gravity of Jupiter would be to add mass. Altering the density would not alter the gravity. Keeping the mass the same, it would merely make Jupiter smaller.

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:58:49 -0800

Ah.. Okay.. Thanks Catfry! =)

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 12:01:10 -0800

The Jupiterians are enormous and don't have anything to fear from Earthlings' devisings.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 12:04:25 -0800

OTOH, if you densified Jupiter and stellated it, it would affect the shape or steepness of Jupiter's gravity well. Earth wouldn't notice, but if any of Jupiter's moons were far enough to survive ignition, they might find themselves subject to real motherfucker-level tidal forces and ripped into bits.

By: robocop is bleeding

robocop is bleeding — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 12:11:40 -0800

The Jupiterians are enormous and don't have anything to fear from Earthlings' devisings. I think they prefer the term 'Jovian-Americans,' Burhanistan. NOT EARTHIST!

By: Artw

Artw — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 12:14:33 -0800

Is Obama Jovian-American?

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 12:19:32 -0800

Gotta nuke somethin' *Munzfilter*

By: sergeant sandwich

sergeant sandwich — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 12:21:04 -0800

OTOH, if you densified Jupiter and stellated it, it would affect the shape or steepness of Jupiter's gravity well. nawww.. would it? i thought the gravitational potential of a spherically symmetric distribution was the same outside of the body whether all the mass was concentrated at a point in the center, or in a shell, or anything else. moons wouldnt feel anything different, would they?

By: Megafly

Megafly — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 12:28:56 -0800

Those who make flat pronouncements that "this can't happen" or "that can't happen" are displaying their stunning knowledge of fission physics and the planetary atmosphere of Jupiter. Two things very few laymen or even many scientists know much about. I don't know enough to make such strong assertations!! To me, this scenario seems very unlikely, But, that said, any large quantity of PU238 will contain "weapons grade" PU239 and PU240 in small quantities. the cross contamination issue is what results in PU239 often having so much 240 in it that the mass pre-detinates too easily. This contamination is was brought about the whole implosion concept in the first place. If they could have used a simple projectile and target with PU the same way they did with U 235 the could have saved millions of dollars and months of development. As for the Atmoshpere of Jupiter I don't know enough about it to judge what it would do to a super tough pellet with a crunchy Plutonium center falling through it but I bet is isn't any fun for the pellet. All in all this sounds very unlikely, but not so unlikely as to be deemed impossible.

By: Catfry

Catfry — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 13:09:23 -0800

We need more cosmologists among the metafilter population. Wasn't Andrew Cooke something with something with some telescope or something?

By: sen0rjon3s

sen0rjon3s — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 13:16:23 -0800

"The Physicists" ("Die Physiker") by Friedrich Duerrenmatt comes to mind in thinking about the reach of science exceeding our moral grasp. Has anyone else read this? I tried to find the text on the web, but no luck.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 14:18:53 -0800

nawww.. would it? Yeah, looking further it appears that it would only affect objects going into the space that had been occupied by big ol' gassy Jupiter but is now empty.

By: stenseng

stenseng — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 15:18:10 -0800

"The Jupiterians are enormous and don't have anything to fear from Earthlings' devisings." Humans are the scariest motherfuckers in the universe. I guarantee it. We're good at breaking things, we breed like rabbits, and we're willing to die in droves for all sorts of stupid reasons. DON'T MESS WITH US, WE'RE FUCKIN CRAYZEE, MAN...

By: storybored

storybored — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 17:17:07 -0800

Come here and say that. -- Large Jupiter dude.

By: teece

teece — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 17:21:50 -0800

You can't ignite Jupiter and make it go solar, even with an intentional and very powerful nuclear bomb. You'd need to add mass to it, equal to about 80 times the mass of Jupiter, to have that happen (I suppose. No one has ever done that experiment, but from my understanding of astrophysics, that's "all" you need to do). So until we find 80 Jupiters, and get them into Jupiter, all the matches in the world won't be making Jupiter into a sun. Fusion reactions blow themselves apart and burn out -- unless there is something very powerful holding them together. In a star (and Jupiter, were it to "go solar"), lots and lots of mass would be the force holding the fusion reaction together. Galileo did not weigh in at 80 Jupiters, I'm pretty sure ;-) Assume Galileo was powered by a fission bomb (how would that work? who cares). Suppose Jupiter happened to have the exact kind of heavy hydrogen and other crap needed to form an H bomb just floating around in its atmosphere. An that Galileo had some crafty way of getting all the timing and geometry right on this ad hoc H-bomb. Guess what? It'd still be a pimple on a fly's ass. Assuming you could get a nuclear reaction to happen, it would explode and blow itself out of existence. It would not continue and consume Jupiter. I kind of doubt we could even see the damn explosion.

By: storybored

storybored — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 18:33:14 -0800

Assume Galileo was powered by a fission bomb .... whoa, whoa, hold it right there....you mean he wasn't an Italian with a telescope? Oh my god.

By: chrismear

chrismear — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 19:12:24 -0800

you can't detonate a plutonium bomb by just mashing chunks of Pu together. It's a precision operation requiring exact timing and to start a fusion reaction, the pieces need to be lined up perfectly Is this true? I thought you just needed to get a sufficient mass together in a lump.

By: lekvar

lekvar — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 19:47:14 -0800

This thread has been a comedy goldmine.

By: Kid Charlemagne

Kid Charlemagne — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 20:16:12 -0800

So let me get this straight, these pellets, individually wrapped in boran (sic) all fall through a couple earth diameters of Jovian atmosphere over the course of a month. Then they all detonate at the same time, causing a single dark patch in the upper levels of Jupiter's atmosphere. What a ridiculous theory. As for Mr. Clarke, one too many deus ex machina. Just saying.

By: davy

davy — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 20:53:24 -0800

Oh, this just reminded me of my favorite Sci Fi character.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 21:56:14 -0800

Unfortunately for this theory, you can't detonate a plutonium bomb by just mashing chunks of Pu together. It's a precision operation requiring exact timing That's true for Pu-239. But Pu-36 (aka "illudium") can be detonated with a simple burning fuse.

By: lekvar

lekvar — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 22:09:00 -0800

Pu-36 was obviously not used in the Galileo as there was no Earth-shattering Kaboom.

By: psmealey

psmealey — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 04:55:27 -0800

Galileos head was on the block The crime was looking up for truth And as the bombshells of my daily fears explode I try to trace them to my youth And then you had to bring up reincarnation Over a couple of beers the other night And now Im serving time for mistakes Made by another in another lifetime How long till my soul gets it right Can any human being ever reach that kind of light I call on the resting soul of galileo King of night vision, king of insight And then I think about my fear of motion Which I never could explain Some other fool across the ocean years ago Must have crashed his little airplane How long till my soul gets it right Can any human being ever reach that kind of light I call on the resting soul of galileo King of night vision, king of insight Im not making a joke, you know me I take everything so seriously If we wait for the time till all souls get it right Then at least I know therell be no nuclear annihilation In my lifetime Im still not right I offer thanks to those before me Thats all Ive got to say cause maybe you squandered big bucks in your lifetime Now I have to pay But then again it feels like some sort of inspiration To let the next life off the hook But shell say look what I had to overcome from my last life I think Ill write a book How long till my soul gets it right Can any human being ever reach the highest light Except for galileo God rest his soul (except for the resting soul of galileo) King of night vision, king of insight How long (till my soul gets it right) [til we reach the highest light] How long (till my soul gets it right) [til we reach the highest light] How long

By: slimepuppy

slimepuppy — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 07:39:14 -0800

By: Kwine

Kwine — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 11:38:04 -0800

MetaFilter: I don't know enough to make such strong assertations!!

By: zoogleplex

zoogleplex — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 12:34:24 -0800

Get a brain, borans!!

By: storybored

storybored — Sat, 14 Apr 2007 21:00:23 -0800

But Pu-36 (aka "illudium") can be detonated with a simple burning fuse I stand corrected. However, we should also mention that the burning fuse must reach a core temperature of 11M degrees Kelvin otherwise there is an inverse proportionate thermal collapse. In that case Jupiter's surface temperature would plunge to -2M degrees K. The side of earth that faces Jupiter would freeze up from the negative thermal radiation. The sudden change in the earth's center of gravity (cold matter has higher density) means that continental drift turns into continental lift on the warm side and basically Mount Everest gets blown off the earth and ends up in orbit around Mercury.