Comments on: When the original just isn't enough

When the original just isn't enough

Xere — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 00:50:50 -0800

When the usual fanfiction fare just doesn't cut it ... there's shipping and then there's slash, with coined terms such as squick and mpreg. The usual suspects are Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and the Phantom of the Opera - and then there's Kirk/Spock, Hermione/Ginny, Cloud/Sephiroth, and lots more. And it's not limited to recent works - there's also some Jesus/Judas Biblical action going on. (Mostly text, with the occasional NSFW jpg.)

By: Smilla's Sense of Snark

Smilla's Sense of Snark — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 01:02:42 -0800

What, no mention of doujinshi? Cloud/Sephiroth fic is nothing, nothing I tell you, compared to the sheer crackiness of an fan-drawn comic in which Sephiroth and Pikachu are playing golf with Vincent Valentine as the stakes. (Pikachu wins. Smexing ensues. Brain bleach not included.)

By: metasonix

metasonix — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 01:19:50 -0800

You also forgot the truly staggering amount of Stargate slash fiction presently online. This one, for instance, has hundreds of stories--most of which seem to have the Daniel Jackson character having ghey sex with someone.....

By: Mister Cheese

Mister Cheese — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 01:39:55 -0800

I knew this stuff existed; I've seen too many deviantart drawings of Sephiroth/Cloud bare chested and all upons. But I never read the source, the textual fount from which such fantasy bursts forth. For me, this post reassures me that it exists and is not some internet legend. Otherwise, I will not click through those ever, no no, no ever. Though, I think I read something that convinced me that Kirk/Spock slash actually could be pulled off in the science fictiony realm that it exists in via some pon farr hijinks. Or was that an essay about fan fiction that forced Trek characters to act out of character? Smilla: zomg. ZOMG. ZOMG, Pickachu? (also, I didn't know that "smexy" came in gerund flavor)

By: palmcorder_yajna

palmcorder_yajna — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 01:57:42 -0800

This is my favorite source of truly WTF-licious slash fiction. Well, that and this. (Most of the promised categories don't have links, but the ones that do are, ah, exactly as promised. )

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 02:05:05 -0800

Sigh. Back in my day kids only had Mulder/Scully, Mulder/Skinner, Skinner/Scully, Skinner/CSM, CSM/LG, Scully/Samantha, Krycek/Mulder, Mulder+Krycek/Skinner, WMM+CSM+LG+Mulder+Krycek/Scully, Melissa/Scully, Scully+Melissa/Covarrubias, Spender/hand lotion--to only scratch the surface. (I never dared peek at any of those, either.)

By: Smilla's Sense of Snark

Smilla's Sense of Snark — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 02:09:16 -0800

Mister Cheese: Yep, Pikachu tops! (Immediate link is work safe, but clicking through to the image links therein is perhaps not entirely safe for work, or sanity.) Remember, kids, fandom is ~~fucking funny~~ Serious Business!

By: Smilla's Sense of Snark

Smilla's Sense of Snark — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 02:17:02 -0800

That Freud/Jung drabble totally made my day, palmcorder. That's got to be the funniest thing I've seen since the gal who was writing inanimate object pairings (Desk/Chair, Fork/Spoon...ending in a cutlery drawer orgy) and meta-slash, wherein one fandom molested another and gave birth to a crossover.

By: lovecrafty

lovecrafty — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 02:33:46 -0800

Onan/Onan *snickers*

By: granted

granted — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 03:09:56 -0800

Goku/Anne Frank

By: granted

granted — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 03:13:36 -0800

Goku/Anne Frank Part 2

By: Smilla's Sense of Snark

Smilla's Sense of Snark — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 03:44:24 -0800

I would be remiss not to note all the lulz to be found at Very Wrong Slash -- a LJ community for such neglected OTPs as Thor/Cthulhu, Alton Brown/Mike Rowe, Azathoth/Nyarlathotep, or Ratzinger/Jesus. Or how about Mac Hearts PC? Bill Gates/Steve Jobs? Or Daily Show/Colbert Report fic? (Note that Real Person Fic/Slash is a somewhat divisive topic in fandom circles. It probably doesn't help that the tinhat brigade of Real Person ficcers are ~~batshit insane~~convinced that their favorite pairing IS REAL. Although that's probably not any goofier than the folks who think they're married to their favorite characters on the astral plane.)

By: localroger

localroger — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 05:06:49 -0800

...convinced that their favorite pairing IS REAL. Overheard on Slashdot: "You guys make Galaxy Quest look like a documentary."

By: jeffburdges

jeffburdges — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 05:25:14 -0800

Don't forget The Cuming of Jizzus! The world truely needs more faith based porn.

By: gimonca

gimonca — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 05:36:19 -0800

Roy Orbison in Clingfilm: "If you have written any stories about Roy being completely wrapped in clingfilm please send them to me and I may put them up on the site."

By: robocop is bleeding

robocop is bleeding — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 06:23:55 -0800

I love how the Orbison-Clingfilm dude is like "I may put your story up on my site." As if he's in a constant deluge of Roy Orbison getting plasticed wrapped stories that he doesn't have the time to sort through all the unsolicited submissions he receives on a daily basis.

By: Pope Guilty

Pope Guilty — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 06:44:09 -0800

I used to threaten to write slashfic in which Lieutenant Fish arrests Tessio. As it turns out, you could practically rob a bank with the threat of Vigoda-on-Vigoda fanfic.

By: Karmakaze

Karmakaze — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 06:54:06 -0800

Hee. It's so cute when outsiders discover slash for the first time...

By: The Confessor

The Confessor — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 07:02:51 -0800

The coding for 'slash' and 'ship' fan fiction was taken, with some modification, from sex story coding as evolved in the alt.sex.stories usenet newsgroup and its subsidiary communities, such as alt.sex.stories.moderated and the associated web-based portal (NSFW). Since most readers of those stories are interested only in very specific sorts of sexual situations, these codes help readers zero in on the stories they would most enjoy and avoid those that would 'squick' them. The system has developed several quirks over the years; one I find particularly fascinating and revelatory is the difference between the MFF code (pairing of two chicks and a dude) and MMF (pairing of two dudes and a chick). In the first some homosexual contact is almost invariably assumed, while in the second direct contact between the male participants is usually notated with an additional bi tag. Why? It could be a statement as to the demographic of the A.S.S. audience, or it could be a simple reflection of the anatomical differences between male and female. More likely, it is a combination of both.

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 07:29:07 -0800

Oh, Dear. Now my brain is locked on: Find Disgusting Topics For Slash Fic I am forced to admit to myself that somewhere Bertie Wooster is already having it on with Jeeves and Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright and Alice in Wonderland has probably taken on the Walrus and the Carpenter, but the possiblities for historical character hook-ups is much more fertile ground for disgust: Hitler and Einstein Eleanor Roosevelt and Rin Tin Tin Mother Theresa and Britney Spears Jerry Garcia and Jaquilyn Kennedy and J. Edgar Hoover Ugh. Worst Parlor Game, Evah!

By: Steven C. Den Beste

Steven C. Den Beste — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 09:13:10 -0800

Slash is one of those things that, if you don't know what it is, you don't want to know what it is.

By: Ber

Ber — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 09:57:08 -0800

If you want to see the most horrifying Real Person Slash Google for boy band slash or as it came to be known as: Pop Slash. The majority of slash gets started with a TV or movie where there is at least two male leads, or an ensemble cast with a plethora of hot actors. And if said TV or movie has sci fi or fantasy elements, then you're really playing with dynamite. Try looking for Buffy slash - Google will collapse with all the hits.

By: jeffburdges

jeffburdges — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 10:15:32 -0800

Secret Life of Gravy, I hesitate to mention this since it will not end well, but you can always start posting slash fan fics involving metafilter users. Do those belong in this thread? Or MeTa?

By: Anything

Anything — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 10:59:56 -0800

jeffburdges, that sound like a good idea, because I'm drunk.

By: Anything

Anything — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 11:02:11 -0800

Shit, there's still none at MeTa either.

By: serazin

serazin — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 11:32:00 -0800

Wait, didn't slash predate fanfic? I mean, slash is as old as Star Treck original flavor right? Fanfic broadened slash to include non-sexual scenerios - or am I totally off? Please slash and fanfic fans, enlighten me!

By: serazin

serazin — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 11:34:14 -0800

I can't believe I just wrote 'Treck'. Please set your phasers on 'kill'.

By: palmcorder_yajna

palmcorder_yajna — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 12:13:04 -0800

Serazin-- Not sure, but for anyone interested in reading about K/S fiction from a cultural studies perspective, I recommend NASA/Trek, by Constance Penley. The overall thesis (applicability of slash as a theoretical model to the way NASA has constructed its identity), I found a little far-fetched, but the parts that dealt exclusively with Trek slash were great. (After reading it, I became briefly fascinated by K/S mpreg stories, because they apparently are strongly disfavored, a ghetto within a ghetto. This caused my husband to marshall about a dozen of our friends and produce a K/S mpreg 'zine for me for my birthday. My whole party, actually, was K/S mpreg themed-- and one friend painted a large watercolor portrait of Kirk as the Madonna, holding a baby Jesus-Spock, with pantsless little Chekov and McCoy cherubs hovering behind them. Between the theme and the chocolate cake shots, it was a scarring, scarring birthday. The best and scarring-est birthday ever, actually. )

By: Anything

Anything — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 12:32:54 -0800

pix, kthx?

By: wreckingball

wreckingball — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 13:05:03 -0800

um. that jesus/judas link will take you to a livejournal community in which there is posted a story about jesus having sex with a whale that has inexplicably fallen from the sky. a whale. from the sky. that breathes fire.

By: BlackLeotardFront

BlackLeotardFront — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 13:11:29 -0800

Ah. Fanfiction is truly the bottom of the barrel. Every sentence is a dagger in my brain.

By: Mayor West

Mayor West — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 13:20:11 -0800

This discussion has prompted me to query Wikipedia to see what exactly what it was I'm missing. You people are all deviants. Sick, sick deviants. ::sobs quietly in the corner:: Touché, Steven C. Den Beste.

By: palmcorder_yajna

palmcorder_yajna — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 13:40:34 -0800

Granted: I actually found that story rather sweet. The subtext seems to be: "I have found a fandom that is beautiful and powerful and can save people! My fandom could have rescued Anne Frank and also could totally have kicked Hitler's ass!" It's almost idealistic. It's like there's genuine hope in some of the icky things the kids do to gross us codgers out.

By: oats

oats — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:17:22 -0800

I have found a fandom that is beautiful and powerful and can save people! My fandom could have rescued Anne Frank and also could totally have kicked Hitler's ass!" If that were a little less coherent it could be a Wesley Willis lyric.

By: granted

granted — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:38:55 -0800

Palmcorder, I thought it was sweet, too. I wonder what Jeff Mangum would think?

By: rob511

rob511 — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 18:10:15 -0800

Man, this is a thread that keeps on ~~com~~ giving. I propose: - Q²: Q/Borg Queen - Filthy Rich: Pigpen/Richie Rich - Hello-Goodbuy: Hello Kitty/Crazy Eddie - Trancefarmers: Sigmund Freud//Eddie Albert/Arnold Ziffel

By: Smilla's Sense of Snark

Smilla's Sense of Snark — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 18:52:41 -0800

Ugh. Worst Parlor Game, Evah! Ah, SLoG, you'd have absolutely HATED the game some of my coworkers and I used to play. Before the popularization of Google Seppuku, our own little version of brain-bleach internet roulette was to try to come up with obscure porn fetishes and/or bizarre fanfic pairings that COULDN'T be found online. (I think the worst unfindable Unholy Grail was the suggestion of "Mama's Family" slash. As for the history of fanfiction, if you're willing to include the publication of unauthorized sequels, etc., it can be argued to vastly predate Star Trek. Even if you stick purely to the modern era, the earlier part of the twentieth century had something of an amateur publishing boom, and as noted in the earlier Wikipedia link there were some authors like H.P. Lovecraft who published material in both professional and amateur publications -- and on the amateur side of things, some of these writers of weird tales, fans and published professionals alike, at times played with each other's creations, not unlike modern shared-universe fanficcers. But even if you skip ahead to the world of the mimeographed Star Trek fanzines of the 60s and 70s, "gen" and het stories seem to predate the first widely published Kirk/Spock slash by several years. (Which isn't to say that the stuff may not have been circulating privately before those early slashers got bold enough for fanzine publication.) That particularly loathed badfic trope, the original "Mary Sue" (or "Gary Stu") character, also gets her name from Trek fanfiction, although in her defense that first named Mary Sue was a parody of the over-idealized/authorial self-insert character so often found in poorer specimens of fanfic (or, for that matter, professionally published media -- characters like Wesley Crusher or Anita Blake have often been criticized as "canon Stus" or "canon Sues"). But much like fanfiction itself, this character trope also seems to have a history that extends further back than modern media fandom -- in 150 Years of Mary Sue, Pat Pflieger links common traits in the depiction of modern Sues to the idealized creations of juvenile authors publishing in 19th century children's magazines.

By: Smilla's Sense of Snark

Smilla's Sense of Snark — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 19:06:14 -0800

I became briefly fascinated by K/S mpreg stories, because they apparently are strongly disfavored, a ghetto within a ghetto. It's not just K/S mpreg -- some gen or het writers and readers really don't care for slash or femmeslash very much, and even within the circles of slash fans mpreg is far from universally loved. Mind you, its cliches can at times inspire some hysterical snark.

By: AsYouKnow Bob

AsYouKnow Bob — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 19:20:54 -0800

Years ago, The Geek Hierarchy pointed out that the very lowest sort of geek, the geeks at the very bottom of geek society, the geeks that every other geek can feel superior to are: "People Who Write Erotic Versions of Star Trek Where All the Characters Are Furries, Like Kirk is an Ocelot or Something, and They Put a Furry Version of Themselves as the Star of the Story" It's just now dawned on me that this was not mere comedic hyperpole: these stories must actually exist. I'm now very afraid.

By: palmcorder_yajna

palmcorder_yajna — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 19:22:57 -0800

Smilla-- Damn. I think I'm going to print that out and take it to the bar tonight for a dramatic recitation. And again I say, damn.

By: Smilla's Sense of Snark

Smilla's Sense of Snark — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 19:28:05 -0800

Isn't that a thing of demented beauty, palmcorder? Admittedly, I was desperately sleep-deprived and more than a little tipsy when I first found that discussion, but I laughed like a loon the first time I read it, and even on repeat readings phrases like "arsebiscuit" and "conveniently vague cancer of the, um, gloidulus" still reduce me to helpless gigglefits.

By: palmcorder_yajna

palmcorder_yajna — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 19:29:06 -0800

I wonder what Jeff Mangum would think? Either he'd hate it, or it would cause him sit in a small, dark room poring endlessly over every Dragonball Z episode, like Henry Darger with a Dick and Jane book.

By: Smilla's Sense of Snark

Smilla's Sense of Snark — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 20:11:00 -0800

...and a cursory search suggests that there is in fact no Vivian Girls fanfiction out there. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

By: SoftRain

SoftRain — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 20:38:32 -0800

mpreg? That's a thing?! Good God. I thought I had seen everything when I discovered that there was a livejournal community devoted to Scrubs fanfic, and that there were hundreds of them, and that the overwhelming majority were JD/Dr. Cox slash.

By: Smilla's Sense of Snark

Smilla's Sense of Snark — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 20:56:31 -0800

It's just now dawned on me that this was not mere comedic hyperpole: these stories must actually exist. Well, hrm, the closest I've seen was multi-fandom and much heavier on Dr. Who and Blake's 7 than Trek. And they were all just regular cats...well, anthorpomorphised regular cats...not ocelots and stuff like that. And it was more of a romantic comedy where all the regulars including the self-insert characters got turned into cats for the sake of further silliness, not actual furry erotica. But, um, yeah. I really, really would not be surprised in the slightest if there was honest-to-god furry Star Trek porn with a furry Sue/Stu lead. Because there is definitely weirder shit out there in Trek-land or Furry-land on their own, and smashing together genres and fetishes like that can definitely lead to some high weirdness. I'm now very afraid. You should be. Be particularly glad I was too lazy to hunt down and link the Scooby-Doo/Thundercasts crossover porn I once found. Believe me, some phrases should never ever be uttered in the heat of passion, and "Jinkies!" is high on that list.

By: palmcorder_yajna

palmcorder_yajna — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 02:56:29 -0800

"People Who Write Erotic Versions of Star Trek Where All the Characters Are Furries, Like Kirk is an Ocelot or Something, and They Put a Furry Version of Themselves as the Star of the Story" The hell of it is, that's about four years old, and in the intervening time, the nadir of What We Sons and Daughters Of Genre Are Capable Of Putting Forth has dropped, and dramatically. These days, the ocelot-Kirk Mary Sues are very nearly mainstream. Now, in jolly old 2007, the kid chained beneath our collective Omelas would have to be something along the lines of: People who believe they're soulbonded to Hurley from Lost, (only Hurley's actually a six-tailed, thirty-six nippled baby skunk, who can turn into a dragon) and who post on the Portal of Evil forums asking for advice, because they're worried that skunk-Hurley might be cheating on them, on the astral plane.

By: palmcorder_yajna

palmcorder_yajna — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 04:08:09 -0800

Ayup. My husband (who is not on Metafilter) just sua sponte showed me an example of Pac-Man erotica (which is available for your reading pleasure in this fine periodical). Anything you can think of, from Sherman T. Potter, to Mary Cheney, to Jell-O Dessert, has been incorporated into a sexualized fandom of some sort. Cheers!

By: AsYouKnow Bob

AsYouKnow Bob — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 16:45:28 -0800

palmcorder_yajna: These days, the ocelot-Kirk Mary Sues are very nearly mainstream. I'd just like to thank you for that sentence. That's put a bounce in my step all day now.

By: Smilla's Sense of Snark

Smilla's Sense of Snark — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 20:45:17 -0800

a whale. from the sky. that breathes fire. Objection! There is no actual fire-breathing in that story. I demand a refund! only Hurley's actually a six-tailed, thirty-six nippled baby skunk, who can turn into a dragon It's like we've met the same people, palmcorder! (And I concur -- this thread is USELESS without linking to pics of your Trek nativity painting.)

By: palmcorder_yajna

palmcorder_yajna — Sat, 14 Apr 2007 01:07:14 -0800

Anything & Smila: A picture of the painting is coming. I'd be posting it now, but my husband and I are getting over some sort of vile cold, and neither of us can quite work a camera yet. But fortunately, we can work the internets! And would you look at what I found! We've got soulbonds in the news today, here in Seattle. Part of me wants to cackle like a fiend. Part of me remembers my early teens and thinks, "there but for the @#$ grace." Bon apetit, gang.

By: Smilla's Sense of Snark

Smilla's Sense of Snark — Sat, 14 Apr 2007 01:19:38 -0800

Awww, condolences...I've been fighting the crud myself, so no worries. The anticipation will doubtlessly make the Madonna-Shatner goodness all the sweeter. Part of me remembers my early teens and thinks, "there but for the @#$ grace." Yeah, back in my day, kids, we had to write our fics by HAND, or on a TYPEWRITER, and then we had to MAIL THEM OUT and SNEAK COPIER TIME to produce our zines, and PAY MONEY to get them. You have no idea how good you have it, you ungrateful whippersnappers! And get offa my RP LiveJournal! *shakes virtual cane, etc.*