Won't bind your legs!

April 11, 2007 6:43 AM

Thought Chuck Norris was over and done with as far as internet memes go? Guess again, as Chris Sims presents an ad for Chuck Norris Action Jeans, "pants designed specifically to be worn while you are kicking people in the face." They'd set you back less than $20. If there's no such thing as Too Much Chuck in your life, then you may want to read Sims's review of Justice Riders.
posted by beaucoupkevin (21 comments total)

I think I may be defective, as I never tire of a good Chuck Norris joke. Like those pants, there's just too much flexibility.
posted by dcress at 6:51 AM on April 11, 2007

Chuck Norris is so awesome he even out-facts himself: There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases – sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris.
posted by DU at 6:51 AM on April 11, 2007 [1 favorite]

That review of Justice Riders, and it's attendant comments by the blog's readers, is just great comedy.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:59 AM on April 11, 2007

Chuck-No
posted by caddis at 6:59 AM on April 11, 2007

A friend of mine had a pair of those pants back in the day. Never kicked me in the face, though.
posted by Cyrano at 7:01 AM on April 11, 2007

I remember seeing that ad back in the day too. It was something of a meme itself - naturally enough amongst my hacky-sack playing buddies.
That tagline though - "Won't bind your legs" - that sounds like it could have also been Chuck Norris's creed.
Just like how MacGyver would never use a gun, Chuck, when he tied you up, would never bind your legs.
Mostly to give himself something to 'chuckle' at, as when running hands tied and blindfolded you'll always just go headlong into a tree.
posted by Flashman at 7:13 AM on April 11, 2007

....the picture below...his expression...the distinct outline of something running down to his left knee... words fail me...
posted by Flashman at 7:19 AM on April 11, 2007

Metafilter: This is the outfit I make my love in.
posted by hifiparasol at 7:24 AM on April 11, 2007

Justice Riders.

Whoa, what the hell is Norris doing fighting for the North? This is seriously off-code.
posted by damn dirty ape at 7:33 AM on April 11, 2007

I actually remember that ad from kung-fu magazines I used to buy when I was a kid. Ha!
posted by everichon at 7:43 AM on April 11, 2007

A friend of mine had a pair of those pants back in the day.

Did he show you his hidden gusset?
posted by pracowity at 7:44 AM on April 11, 2007 [1 favorite]

Such a shame he turned out to be an asshole.
posted by gwint at 7:55 AM on April 11, 2007

Man, this just goes to show how timeless Chuck Norris is.

After the bombs fall, it'll just be cockroaches making Chuck Norris jokes amist the rubble of our cities. In time, they will evolve and grow, still worshipping their grim, face-kicking god and lo it will be Good, a new Eden.

But in time, even the great Cocknorris Civilization will fall, and their great paper-wad statues of Chuck Norris will confuse alien archeologists for eons to come.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:58 AM on April 11, 2007 [1 favorite]

Century Martial Arts Supply still exists. They're the world's largest supplier of nunchucks and stuff. I called them, unfortunately they no longer carry this product. I think a petition is in order.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 9:20 AM on April 11, 2007 [1 favorite]

Those Chuck Norris Sexing Pajamas are the best!
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 9:57 AM on April 11, 2007

Thanks,DU. I had no idea the man himself had responded to these, well, facts.
posted by Anything at 10:42 AM on April 11, 2007

Reminds me of the part in Road House where Swayze rolls up to the hardware store wearing a karate gi tucked in to his pants. Totally nonchalant. Like it was something that people usually wear everyday.

Such a great movie.
posted by kookywon at 2:51 PM on April 11, 2007

Man, wish I could get a pair of these. They would make awesome climbing pants.
posted by Manjusri at 3:41 PM on April 11, 2007

Back when I was living in a karate movie, Century martial arts supply was responsible for a good hunka my budget. Never got the pants though. And it didn’t seem to matter. Pretty much every martial artist, in the street, will do the pants hike move. It’s like in football watching to see if a guy is leaning on or off his knuckles, might as well call them ‘western union’ there’s so much telegraphing going in.
I gotta say tho, Norris made a lot more sense kicking someone with, y’know, his boots on instead of taking them off to kick someone.
posted by Smedleyman at 4:08 PM on April 11, 2007

I'm in the market for some Damme Fine Tights (but they've gotta have a reinforced crotch).
posted by rob511 at 5:37 PM on April 11, 2007

I believe this comment officially ended the Chuck Norris trend.
posted by Citizen Premier at 9:31 AM on April 12, 2007