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April 12, 2007 5:44 PM   Subscribe

adultsheepfinder.com
posted by thirteenkiller (49 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
That's b-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-d.
posted by brundlefly at 5:48 PM on April 12, 2007


Love how Google Ads is stocking that with Portland-area singles textads. Thanks for putting two and two together for me, Brin.
posted by cortex at 5:49 PM on April 12, 2007


relationsheeps.
nice.
posted by fidgets at 5:50 PM on April 12, 2007


Oh my dear lord. I haven't explored the site too much, for fear of...well, you know. Please please please let it be a gag.
posted by davidmsc at 5:51 PM on April 12, 2007


That's b-a-a-a-a-a-rely legal!
posted by loquacious at 5:51 PM on April 12, 2007


Bah.
posted by jeblis at 5:55 PM on April 12, 2007


Beh. The Kiwis have had sites like this since day one of the web.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:04 PM on April 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


No doubt made by Australians (the website - not the sheep).
posted by meech at 6:04 PM on April 12, 2007


You'll know it is for real when they start hawking velcro gloves.
posted by HyperBlue at 6:20 PM on April 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


Too late, sheepfinders, I've already found the sheepish love of MY life and it's Shaun. (Rumors of a past relationship with Wiley are just not true)
posted by wendell at 6:21 PM on April 12, 2007


Some might say these are the sheep of fools. Then again, others are probably eager to jump sheep.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:22 PM on April 12, 2007


The sheep tag was so good you used it 5 times, eh?
posted by Rhomboid at 6:22 PM on April 12, 2007


Baa. I suppose it's OK for people looking for sheep thrills.
posted by cerebus19 at 6:26 PM on April 12, 2007


"I was drunk, and I fear that I sinned,"
The Kiwi confessed, much chagrined.
"Some chain of events
Led to hopping a fence
And they found me three sheeps to the wind."
posted by Wolfdog at 6:27 PM on April 12, 2007 [4 favorites]


I suppose it's OK for people looking for sheep thrills.

cerebus19, you've insulted the sheep-loving community. That was a sheep shot.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:30 PM on April 12, 2007


What a lamb post. Metatalk.
posted by ed at 6:32 PM on April 12, 2007


Bah, the place is full of mutton dressed up as lamb.
posted by anthill at 6:38 PM on April 12, 2007


cerebus19, you've insulted the sheep-loving community

I guess I'll have to go on the lamb, then. Thank ewe for giving me a head's up.
posted by cerebus19 at 6:40 PM on April 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


Baaaad jokes
posted by trembleclef at 6:42 PM on April 12, 2007


Baaaad jokes? Here's one:

An Aussie ventriloquist visiting New Zealand chances upon a Kiwi farmer, and gets to talking.

Aussie: "Do you know I have the ability to talk to animals?"

Kiwi: "True?"

Aussie: "Check this out: Hey, horsey! Does your master treat you well?"

Aussie (ventriloquising): "Neigh! Very well! He feeds me nice hay & carrots & puts me out to stud!"

Kiwi: "True, hey! What an amazing skill! Talk to some other animals for me"

Aussie: "Hey, you there, sheepey! - "

Kiwi: "DON'T LISTEN TO THE SHEEP!!! HE'S A LIAR!!!"
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:45 PM on April 12, 2007 [4 favorites]


The search function is discriminatory. What if you're a sheep seeking a person? Ewe've got to be kidding me.
posted by greatgefilte at 6:48 PM on April 12, 2007


Meh.

Meh-eh-eh-eh-ehhhhh.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 6:58 PM on April 12, 2007


Finally.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 7:00 PM on April 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


I don't care what people do in the privacy of their own pastures, but you don't have to ram it down my throat.
posted by Miko at 7:01 PM on April 12, 2007


I expect this to be very big in Wyoming.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:02 PM on April 12, 2007


Reminds me of this ad for the Toyota Hilux flatbed. (Done by Saatchi & Saatchi Auckland, it features a bull yelling at a ram, "Out of the way, sheep-shagger!" as well as a number of puns and visual references.)
posted by rob511 at 7:13 PM on April 12, 2007


Didn't Australia enslave New Zealand anyway?
posted by homunculus at 7:21 PM on April 12, 2007



If you look, you can only select 30 New Zealands ( or 1 wales) as the country.
posted by jeblis at 7:39 PM on April 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


"I haven't explored the site too much, for fear of...well, you know."

Succumbing to the love that dare not speak its name?
posted by klangklangston at 7:43 PM on April 12, 2007


Didn't Australia enslave New Zealand anyway?

You shouldn't believe everything you read on a spam farm, homunculus.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:48 PM on April 12, 2007


Several sheep of my acquaintance tell me that they're giving up dating humans altogether as they're only interested in their own pleasure.

Apparently, the numbers of humans who like to kiss and cuddle afterwards is tiny, and the numbers that are prepared to reciprocate with a reach-around is smaller still. Then after they've had their fun, the humans never call, the poor sheep hears nothing until the next time they turn up at the pasture, looking for another quick baaa-ty call.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:57 PM on April 12, 2007


hahahahahahahahaha! ha!
posted by rubin at 8:16 PM on April 12, 2007


Man, I thought the Scottish were bad about this. I mean, after all, it's the sheep's acute hearing, which can pick out a zipper being undone a mile away, that led to the adoption of the kilt...
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:39 PM on April 12, 2007


Hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe!
posted by Oriole Adams at 9:02 PM on April 12, 2007 [5 favorites]


Jim had just turned 65 and was planning out his retirement along with his wife, Mary. The two of them wanted nothing more than to retire to Scottish coast off the North Sea, and spend the rest of their lives living idly among the land of their ancestors. For twenty years, they'd been saving up all the money they could possibly spare and investing it wisely. As Jim's retirement approached, they sold their house, got rid of their car, and started packing up their belongings. They made sure their passports were up to date; they applied for their visas.

Finally, the big day arrived. They took a taxi from Scarsdale to JFK, hopped on a Virgin Airlines flight, and within seven hours were on the ground in Edinburg. Picking up their car at the airport, they loaded all their luggage into the trunk (their furniture and such had been shipped the day prior). It took them an hour to drive out to the village where they were had rented a thatched roof cottage, right next to an old links course. They spent the rest of the day unpacking and setting up their furniture, then the night relaxing on the chilly beach.

The next day, they drove around together, getting to know the area. Jim and Mary suddenly saw an old pub, called "The Lions Black Shanter." The two decided that they would have some lunch there, parked the car and went inside.

Seeing that there were no free tables, the two of them sat down at the bar. The barkeep came up and asked them what they'd like to have to drink. Jim said, "I'll have a Guinness," and Mary asked for the same. Then Jim, deciding that it was time to get to know some of the locals, introduced himself and asked if there was anything to do in the town.

The barkeep, who previously had been rather quiet and polite, suddenly raised his voice. "You ask me what there is to do in this town, eh? I'll tell you what there is to do in that town. You see this bar? This bar right here?" He slams his fist down in front of him. "I built this bar, with me own two hands! I cut down the trees, cut out the boards, polished the wood. I hammered the whole thing together meself! But do they call me Shamus the bar-builder? Nay. Nay they don't." And with that, the barkeep's voice trailed off and walked away to get Jim and Mary their drinks.

"What was that all about?" asked Mary, and Jim shrugged.

"I don't know," he said. "Maybe he's just having a bad day. I mean, he didn't even answer the question."

"You should ask him again. Maybe he just didn't understand your accent."

So when the barkeep came back, Jim tentative started talking again, just about the weather and other small things. Finally, he raised his nerve up to ask about the town. Again, though, Shamus went into a rage: "You ask me what there is to do in this town, eh? I'll tell you what there is to do in that town. You see that schoolhouse? That schoolhouse right there?" He slams his fist down in front of him, then points out the window. "Look! Look! I built that schoolhouse, with me own two hands! I cut down the trees, I made the bricks, I fished the chalk out of the sea! I taught there meself for six years! But do they call me Shamus the schoolhouse-builder? Or Shamus the school-teacher? Nay. Nay, I'm afraid they don't."

Jim and Mary looked horrified. What could be so wrong about asking Shamus this very, very simple question? Was there something horrible about the town they had missed in their research? What could possibly be wrong?

So when the barkeep came back a third time, realizing that he hadn't taken their food orders, Jim went right out at him: "Listen, Shamus, you seem like a very nice guy and all, but like I said, we're new here. We're just looking for something to do night, before we settle into the cottage we're renting. Can't you just help us out a little?"

And Shamus, indignant, started quietly this time. "You ask me, three times, what there is to do in this town. Well, I'll tell you. You see that dance club over there? Right over there! Look out that window! I built that dance club, with my own two hands. Cut down the trees for the wood, went to the mountains with a pickax to get the copper for the wires! I installed the lights, the speakers. I built it! I built that dance club! Look at me hands, scarred from electric shocks and hammers that missed me nails! Look! But do they call me Shamus the dance club builder? Nay. Nay, nay, nay. I'm afraid they don't."

So Mary, horrified, and at the end of her pint, asked Shamus what they did call him. And Shamus, tired of keeping lies and knowing the newcomers would find eventually, decided to tell them.

"They call me," he said, "the aristocrats."
posted by thecaddy at 9:25 PM on April 12, 2007 [2 favorites]


I thought this was a site for sheep breeders at first.

Then it hit me...Do people really do that with sheep?

EEEEEWWWWWWEEEEEE
posted by JujuB at 9:46 PM on April 12, 2007


I remember when I managed to get some kind of horrible pop up virus that made ______finder sites pop up night and day. Man, they have everything. Asian friend finder. Jewish. Christian. Black. Adult.

Everything. There's something wonderfully ironic about the same company pandering to Christians looking to get married as 50 year olds looking to fuck. Although, I guess, those groups aren't necessarily mutually exclusive.

Anyway.
posted by ztdavis at 10:02 PM on April 12, 2007


I don't fuck sheep. I make love to them.
posted by jefbla at 11:37 PM on April 12, 2007


Like there haven't been enough sheep jokes on Mefi this week...
posted by miss lynnster at 12:52 AM on April 13, 2007


The developer of an edible lubricant for these folk would make a mint.
posted by pracowity at 12:56 AM on April 13, 2007 [3 favorites]


one reason i don't live in my hometown any more
posted by pyramid termite at 5:19 AM on April 13, 2007


Kiwis are getting boners as we speak.

[There are some sentences I never thought I'd write. This is one of them.]
posted by schleppo at 7:14 AM on April 13, 2007


It's the name of a creek...
posted by polyglot at 8:59 AM on April 13, 2007


I'm resisting the urge to complete thecaddy's joke.
posted by Miko at 9:31 AM on April 13, 2007


Oops, magically it is complete. Nice twist.
posted by Miko at 9:33 AM on April 13, 2007


I started laughing before I clicked the link.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 6:15 PM on April 13, 2007


Cortex: Google ads are localized based on your ip address, so if you're in Portland, well, you'll see ads for stuff in Portland.
posted by feloniousmonk at 10:51 PM on April 13, 2007


"What are you looking at dear?"

"Mutton, honey."
posted by moonbird at 3:13 PM on April 14, 2007


Oh, I know, feloniousmonk. I was just pleased that it was serving me personals ads, localized no less, while I was visiting the sheep-fucking page. Targeted advertising at its somethingest.
posted by cortex at 5:57 PM on April 14, 2007


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