IS THERE NONE WHO CAN CHALLENGE ME?
April 13, 2007 1:40 AM   Subscribe

I hereby declare myself king of Monkey Kick-Off. With a score of 4750 Monkey Meters, I feel secure & confident that my reign will be a long & prosperous one.
posted by jonson (49 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
Sorry, jonson, 4819 Monkey Meters by the wendellator. That wasn't a reign; that was a drizzle.
posted by wendell at 1:57 AM on April 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


that did not wendell at all.
posted by jonson at 1:59 AM on April 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Dammit. 4467 is my best so far. My WORST, however, is a paltry 150.
posted by antifuse at 2:09 AM on April 13, 2007


I stand corrected. 120!
posted by antifuse at 2:10 AM on April 13, 2007


104! I'm getting better and better at being bad! :)
posted by antifuse at 2:14 AM on April 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


I've miffed a kick that went 38 MMs. Top - er - bottom that!
posted by wendell at 2:25 AM on April 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


What's your best for a kick that didn't pick up enough altitude to go off the screen? Mine was 3230.
posted by wendell at 2:28 AM on April 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


3277, but I can do better.
posted by darkripper at 2:32 AM on April 13, 2007


YAY!! 4178 :)
posted by darkripper at 2:38 AM on April 13, 2007


Don't even go there wendell. chrismear is the monkeyball king.
posted by seanyboy at 2:39 AM on April 13, 2007


6394
posted by sveskemus at 2:42 AM on April 13, 2007


4322
I think he favours the left foot
posted by Flashman at 2:43 AM on April 13, 2007


From Metachat
7081 - drjimmy11
6999 - puke & cry
6140 - seanyboy
7223 - matthewr
7354 - chrismear
posted by seanyboy at 2:47 AM on April 13, 2007


Okay.. someone help me out here. I can get 4300 odd meters but I have no idea how - it all seems horribly random to me. Two kicks that I think are identical result in a 4km kick followed by one that rolls along the grass...

Is the height he kicks it (in the keepie-uppie bit) a power bar? How does where the ball is effect how far it goes?
posted by twine42 at 2:57 AM on April 13, 2007


It seems pretty random to me. Any "strategies", mefites?
posted by tehloki at 4:07 AM on April 13, 2007


I even have peons to do my gloating for me.
posted by chrismear at 4:14 AM on April 13, 2007


The best strategy I can see right now is to wait until just after the ball goes over the monkey's head, then kick it just as it's coming down.

If it bounces before reaching the desert, I hit retry -- otherwise it's a lost cause.
posted by hifiparasol at 4:15 AM on April 13, 2007


Damn it 4442
posted by Mocata at 4:20 AM on April 13, 2007


7354 - chrismear

Sounds like someone just spanked your monkey jonson.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 4:22 AM on April 13, 2007


From my wife: "That's like boring Nanaca Crash."
posted by rxrfrx at 4:24 AM on April 13, 2007


True, I suspect nothing is likely to topple Nanaca Crash in my affections for quite a while. Still good fun though.
posted by greycap at 4:26 AM on April 13, 2007


This is no kitten cannon.
posted by BrotherCaine at 4:40 AM on April 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Watch the palm tree just behind the football. When the ball goes above it, wait a split second, and then kick.

I figured-out this technique for you, fellow MeFis. The price: my nerves are now shot. But I wish you all the luck.
posted by humblepigeon at 4:47 AM on April 13, 2007


Somebody should decompile Nanaca Crash and insert a server-side scoring system like this thing has. In a world where such a thing exists, YOU WOULD BOW BEFORE ALL THAT I AM!
posted by blasdelf at 4:47 AM on April 13, 2007


This is fun, but Nanaca Crash is the pinnacle of distance games in my eyes. My record is 16579.91 on that one :D
posted by Earl the Polliwog at 4:50 AM on April 13, 2007


For those who haven't tried it, here's Nanaca Crash. This is the latest version (1.07) as far as I know - it has a speedometer, but most sites only have 1.06.
posted by Earl the Polliwog at 4:59 AM on April 13, 2007


Scored the same as antifuse 4467, though my worst is a paltry 85 metres. Ha! Beat that antifuse. ;)
posted by electricinca at 5:00 AM on April 13, 2007


Quarte mille cinquante six.

It's frustratingly random.
posted by oxford blue at 5:57 AM on April 13, 2007


Scored the same as antifuse 4467, though my worst is a paltry 85 metres. Ha! Beat that antifuse. ;)

We were both beaten by wendell :( I dunno how you did it though, wendell - even my WORST muffed kick still seems to just keep bouncing and bouncing.
posted by antifuse at 6:09 AM on April 13, 2007


36mm
posted by IronLizard at 6:29 AM on April 13, 2007


My monkey is tired.
posted by dov3 at 7:22 AM on April 13, 2007


4543!
posted by Mocata at 7:33 AM on April 13, 2007


I just got a 5339m on my first try with Nanaca, I got pwned by a STOP while going 90m/s. Goddamn.
posted by blasdelf at 7:49 AM on April 13, 2007


Just got 5379 but I think the greater achievement was not letting this completely kill my productivity on a Friday afternoon!
posted by TwoWordReview at 8:42 AM on April 13, 2007


4343 and still trying
posted by spinturtle at 8:49 AM on April 13, 2007


This is all just a clever ploy by the jonsonistas to make us think about his balls.
posted by Cyrano at 9:00 AM on April 13, 2007


3511. Monkeys rule!
posted by grubi at 9:49 AM on April 13, 2007


Slow home bandwidth, but here's my all time Nanaca record...
posted by Samizdata at 9:54 AM on April 13, 2007


4349 now! Whoot!
posted by grubi at 9:56 AM on April 13, 2007


6430, also from MetaChat.
Thanks for forgetting about me, seanyboy! >:(
I kid.

posted by CitrusFreak12 at 10:05 AM on April 13, 2007


Make that 6827.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 10:09 AM on April 13, 2007


I had a freaky Nanacacrash session this afternoon - got 21 069.99m
That's right, over TWENTY thousand metres.
I felt like that paraglider who got swept up in a thunderstorm - it was like it was never going to end.
posted by Flashman at 10:28 AM on April 13, 2007


You metachat folk who got scores in the 6 & 7 thousands, how is it that the monkey initially kicks the ball up so high in your videos? When I stare at the screen for five minutes, the monkey constantly hackey-sacks the ball no higher than just above head height (the height you can see in my link in the FPP above). Yet seanyboy & CitrusFreak's videos both clearly show a MUCH higher starting kick. Did you just wait for an hour, or has the game been modified some way to remove that initial high-kick?
posted by jonson at 10:29 AM on April 13, 2007


Jonson, the playback isn't accurate as far as the kickoff goes. It doesn't show me waiting about three minutes for the highest kick. I spent about twenty minutes playing this game, trying to time it right.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 12:38 PM on April 13, 2007


How do you use the specials in Nanaca?
posted by Big_B at 2:21 PM on April 13, 2007


Re the specials - I figured out that left clicking while your guy was flying sometimes had an effect - I think it has something to do with the red and blue arrows on the left - they're like extra boosts or something. Same goes for the specials - I just left clicked when the 'special' appeared, and you get some sort of surprise bonus. Not sure if you can control what you get or if it's predetermined.
posted by Flashman at 3:14 PM on April 13, 2007


If you click when you're falling, you get a boost up. You get three of these per game.

If you click when you're rising, you get a boost down. You can only hold one charge, but the percentage meter rises and replenishes it whenever you're on screen. These are the meat of the game.

Specials, if you hit a girl while her profile is lit, you'll get a special instead of the normal effect. The girl who stops you has the best special.

There are the super, Block specials, activated only by hitting a Block girl and THEN the above. These can be insane.
posted by Earl the Polliwog at 5:23 PM on April 13, 2007


"peon seanyboy" seems an unfortunate title.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 6:14 PM on April 13, 2007


http://totebo.com/mko.php?c=qrosqBoistoEssorFBoUBopBsosUsUoLZ7ZSPS37Zouuut

4949.
posted by thedak at 6:44 AM on April 14, 2007


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