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The Power of the Penis
April 17, 2007 3:00 PM   Subscribe

The Power of the Penis [YouTube],[NSFW]. I'm sorry for making my first post ever a single link YouTube post, but this Atlanta Public Access TV clip is the most educational video I have ever seen. Alexyss Tylor hosts a show on 'Vagina Power 'and 'Penis Power' with her mother. It's about 9 minutes of true insight - women, don't let men hit the bottom or use their penis as a weapon! Separate the love, the orgasm, and the penis, OK? Make sure he buys you the shrimp plate though!
posted by waitingtoderail (302 comments total) 154 users marked this as a favorite

 
That's weird. I was just thinking of a plate of shrimp.
posted by ODiV at 3:05 PM on April 17, 2007 [5 favorites]


OK, for a single link youtube post, this definitely qualifies as amusing. Amusing beyond all hope of being serious.
posted by daq at 3:09 PM on April 17, 2007


What an awesome cocktail (hah, sorry): healthy open discussion of sex with sheer bizzareness. If it was a martini, I'd guess the vermouth is the healthy part, the gin is the crazy, and it's hell of dirty.

We won't discuss vodka martinis because I didn't make it past the part with the jackrabbit hopping around while the lady is at work.
posted by freebird at 3:14 PM on April 17, 2007


When you say shrimp, are you implying that my peepee is small?
Because I'm hung like a chihuahua.
posted by Dizzy at 3:14 PM on April 17, 2007


This is a GOLDMINE of Metafilter: quotes.
posted by matty at 3:16 PM on April 17, 2007


A side of penis....
posted by caddis at 3:17 PM on April 17, 2007


Also, I'd just like to say that I'm hooked on the penis power.
posted by matty at 3:19 PM on April 17, 2007


"What would drive a woman to use toys"

You expect a euphemism, but

"A lot of women just want their vagina filled, they're hooked on clitoral stimulation"
posted by delmoi at 3:21 PM on April 17, 2007


We can close the Internet now.
It can't get any better than this.
posted by Thorzdad at 3:24 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


Thanks for posting this. I learned something that I didn't know. And I'm definitely gonna be on the watchout.
posted by dobbs at 3:25 PM on April 17, 2007


"We are livin' in the 21st Century..."

The older woman's expression is great. "It does what...?"
posted by sweet mister at 3:25 PM on April 17, 2007


I got up to the jack rabbit bit.

*cracks up and dies*
posted by liquorice at 3:26 PM on April 17, 2007


"Some men, they have so much heat and intensity in their penis, that you can feel it radiating through their clothes, just to touch the penis, it's on fire, like fire underneath their skin!"
posted by awesomebrad at 3:26 PM on April 17, 2007


Also:
"With a penis up in your vagina you don't have no defenses!"
posted by awesomebrad at 3:30 PM on April 17, 2007


This is a GOLDMINE of Metafilter: quotes.

Agreed. Who's up to providing a written transcript?
posted by ericb at 3:30 PM on April 17, 2007


"I have a masters degree in being played by men, used by men, told every thing I want to hear to get me in the positions...I am very upset by being made a fool of......."

Wow, just wow.

and the answer "stay prayed up"

next up - Vagina Power
posted by caddis at 3:30 PM on April 17, 2007


Alexyss Tylor's Vagina Power website (caution: cheesy embedded MIDI loop plays upon loading).

Google cache of Alexyss Tylor's MySpace page.
posted by ericb at 3:32 PM on April 17, 2007


Ohman, Ohman, the last ten seconds....*dies again*
posted by liquorice at 3:33 PM on April 17, 2007


MetaFilter: screwing you into submission
posted by liquorice at 3:34 PM on April 17, 2007 [3 favorites]


This is a GOLDMINE of Metafilter: quotes.

Agreed. Who's up to providing a written transcript?


I'll do the first 4 minutes if someone else will take the rest.
posted by waitingtoderail at 3:35 PM on April 17, 2007


waitingtoderail wins the "best. first. post. evar." prize.
posted by Thorzdad at 3:35 PM on April 17, 2007


Lest we forget the Puppetry of the Penis.
posted by ericb at 3:36 PM on April 17, 2007


She just keeps getting better as it goes! And yeah, the last 10 seconds is a brilliant (anti)climax to the whole thing.

She's like a preacher. Or a poet. A penis poet preacher.
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 3:37 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: It will reduce her to a cum freak.
posted by macadamiaranch at 3:38 PM on April 17, 2007 [2 favorites]


I just realized as I'm transcribing this that it's all one run-on sentence.
posted by waitingtoderail at 3:41 PM on April 17, 2007


Metafilter: like fire under the skin.
posted by mdonley at 3:47 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: Living To Ejaculate
posted by Flashman at 3:52 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: It'll give you a mouth full of sperm or a rectum full of sperm
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:53 PM on April 17, 2007 [3 favorites]


This is 20 kinds of awesome. Excellent find!
posted by jonson at 3:54 PM on April 17, 2007


Wow...the cumulative effect after a few minutes is insane. I had to stop because I'm snorting with ill-suppressed hysterical giggling now.
posted by everichon at 3:54 PM on April 17, 2007


waitingtoderail writes "I just realized as I'm transcribing this that it's all one run-on sentence."

Holy shit, you're right. That's got to be both the longest and best sentence I've ever heard.
posted by Bugbread at 3:54 PM on April 17, 2007


Every single word of this is comedy gold.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 3:54 PM on April 17, 2007


Oh, man, around 5:20 it's totally totally awesome. I'm crying.
posted by Bugbread at 3:55 PM on April 17, 2007


you guys are making me really fucking wish i wasn't at work right now
posted by nathancaswell at 3:58 PM on April 17, 2007


Although not quite up to Alexis's fine standards, I'm growing very fond of Man and Wife
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:59 PM on April 17, 2007


you guys are making me really fucking wish i wasn't at work right now
Hell, if you want to se how quickly an office can come to a screeching halt, distribute the link around.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:00 PM on April 17, 2007


It's actually quite enlightening in many ways. I have to admit, I'm learning a lot.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 4:00 PM on April 17, 2007


Metafilter: Posting the best NSFW when UR@W.
posted by billder at 4:01 PM on April 17, 2007 [2 favorites]


ok fuck this, i'm downloading it, putting it on my ipod, and hiding in the stairwell for the next 9 minutes...
posted by nathancaswell at 4:01 PM on April 17, 2007


hahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahahah
posted by PigAlien at 4:03 PM on April 17, 2007


Alexyss's homepage. She seems pretty serious about this vagina power thing - serious enough to include it in her domain name.
posted by hypocritical ross at 4:04 PM on April 17, 2007


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
posted by PigAlien at 4:04 PM on April 17, 2007


crap... already posted. sorry.
posted by hypocritical ross at 4:04 PM on April 17, 2007


This helps me understand why my own youtube post earlier today only got one comment: sure, it was batshitinsane, but it doesn't hold a candle to this.

Not. A. Candle.
posted by Bugbread at 4:07 PM on April 17, 2007


"Jack Rabbit?"
posted by meh at 4:07 PM on April 17, 2007


Something about the way she says "vagina power" at the end....
posted by Afroblanco at 4:10 PM on April 17, 2007


OK, I got up to 3:38 and it seemed a good place to hand over to someone else:

Alexyss Tylor:...of some of the things I'm talking about, because if you really wanna earn your man you need to learn your man, and a lot of the time we get caught up with the wrong man, or caught up in a man's penis power because it's good - I mean, if a man has been around and he's a ho, especially like the ones I'm talking about, they're hopping from here, here, and there - they have a lot of practice and they know a woman's body, they know the power of their penis, and they know how to soothe her body and to soothe her vagina, so it's really easy to be caught up with that dog kind of man, like that one girl asked me, "Well why" she thought something was wrong with her because she liked the flashy guys with the jewelry. I said there's nothing wrong with liking a flashy man, you just have to know what kind of spirit and energy he's carrying, cause there are some good men, although they still like to flash, they're not whores and they don't give their penis to everybody. You have to be able to recognize them, because the man that is living to ejaculate? He's in a predator mode. And when a man is in a predator mode, he's going to look for the weaknesses of a woman - a woman that's lonely, her vagina is cold, she's laying in bed at night playing with her toys, or she's got a man beside her, he's a good provider, but he's not hitting the walls and working the middle like that dog that she's been having that sneaky sex with.

Mother: What drives a woman to...toys?

Alexyss Tylor: Because, like I said, she needs the vagina penetration. A lot of women are hooked on having clitoral stimulation. You have an outer orgasm with your clitoris, but also you have inner orgasms, inside, the intra-vagina, inside the vagina walls, hidden g-spots, and every woman's g-spot may be similar or some women may have more than one g-spot, so some women are actually hooked on cum. And I mean there's women that can be at work, at their desk, they got the jackrabbit on - it's a part you can buy, hook it onto your clitoris all throughout the day, and you can be having orgasms...

Mother (interrupting): Jackrabbit?

Alexyss Tylor: one of them, I know they call...I knew some girls, that was their favorite product - that was their favorite best buddy they keep in their pocketbook...

Mother: See, I go back to, when I was a little girl being raised in the country - jackrabbit jump from here to there.

Alexyss Tylor (interrupting): You're talking about the rabbits out...

Mother: No, I ain't talking about no real rabbit, but a rabbit in nature jump from here to there, just constantly moving.

Alexyss Tylor: Yes and they say they have taken that same concept of the rabbit jumping from here to there - the design of it - it jumps all up on the clitoris, just jump out of control and make the woman have an incredible orgasm.

Mother: We are living in the twenty-first century.

Alexyss Tylor: That's the mechanical jackrabbit for the clit.
--------------------------------------------------------------
(jump)
Alexyss Tylor: Some men, they have so much heat and intensity in their penis that you can feel it radiating through their clothes, just to touch the penis, it's on fire, it feels like it's fire underneath the skin. So a lot of women start going crazy, they actually think, cause not all penises are created equal and they don't hold the same level of intensity. So if there's one hot like that and he has the energy, he knows how to work his hips, work his buttocks, and really bend her and twist her like she's a pretzel and give her the gratification she needs, she's going to be hooked and think that that's love, or a deeper root level, she's going to become sexually, mentally, and emotionally attached - but he ain't no good, and this other man she's with, provides for her, takes care of children that ain't even his - that woman will still sneak and get that penis power from him, but what she doesn't realize is, we have to deal with our attachments and separate the love, the orgasm, and the penis. They are separate issues. Cause if we are in a lower level of it, and we hooked on the penis power, and this man won't even buy you some shrimp from Long John Silver's - and what, that plate $2.99?

posted by waitingtoderail at 4:15 PM on April 17, 2007 [6 favorites]


Sadly, I'm pretty sure I've never hit the bottom.
posted by ColdChef at 4:16 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


Fantastic!

And I'm looking forward to the next installments: "There is another full hour of this TV Gold that I will post soon where Alexyss Tylor explains how homosexual men only hold "fake vagina power" and why "homeless men suck d*** for a sam-ich" among other great topics."
posted by jack_mo at 4:19 PM on April 17, 2007


More than one G-spot?

As far as I can tell, women divide readily into "Don't you even think about hitting bottom" and "Yes, please!" If only one could tell which at a distance ...

This was on public access TV?
posted by adipocere at 4:27 PM on April 17, 2007


The only thing that could make this any better is a PowerPoint presentation.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 4:28 PM on April 17, 2007 [2 favorites]


"the penis done ejaculated all in her brain."

Excellent.
posted by dozo at 4:29 PM on April 17, 2007


I'll pick up on the next few minutes.
posted by liquorice at 4:30 PM on April 17, 2007


using the penis as a weapon?

"I see your Schwartz is as big as mine..."
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 4:33 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


Oh my fucking God, it's like being in a car with my clients. I swear I was caught between two middle aged black women talking about sex toys this afternoon, it was just like this and I was thinking the whole time, "I really need to start recording this shit."
posted by The Straightener at 4:33 PM on April 17, 2007


The Long John Silvers near me seems to have take their advice. Well, in a way
posted by Senor Cardgage at 4:33 PM on April 17, 2007


O damn, PeterMcDermott, Man is Fat Man Scoop!
posted by dozo at 4:36 PM on April 17, 2007


I've also become a big fan of her Vagnia Power Slideshow.
posted by waitingtoderail at 4:37 PM on April 17, 2007


Do vaginas really get cold? You learn something new every day.
posted by kirkaracha at 4:38 PM on April 17, 2007


Comedy. Gold.
posted by dazed_one at 4:39 PM on April 17, 2007


hook it onto your clitoris

That sounds like it would be painful.
posted by kirkaracha at 4:40 PM on April 17, 2007


Metafilter: what is it offering you? A side of penis?
posted by WolfDaddy at 4:42 PM on April 17, 2007


*Stands up from crowd, clapping slowly*
posted by Bookhouse at 4:44 PM on April 17, 2007


I want to know what she's doing with her right hand.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 4:44 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


Oh, my. Guess I've never hit bottom.
posted by maxwelton at 4:46 PM on April 17, 2007


Okay, I got lazy but I did up to 4:44

Well he give you a mouthful of sperm and a rectum full of sperm and he gonna get a light ring (?). It’s like, we have to see what our issue is, because a man like that doesn’t respect a woman. Yeah he’ll hit her, but if a man is having sex with you and he had an opportunity to be with you or he’s a ex so that means he had you before the other man that’s providing for you could get to you and all he’s offering you is a side of penis when he can sneak in and out of your man bed and out your man house. That man ain’t got no respect for you and he know you don’t have none for yourself but because you’re so hooked on him and you hooked on the penis you will sacrifice and sell yourself out to let him come in the back door or let him come at lunch or come in the dark when your real man don’t have the same penis power is (garbled, no idea?) so a woman think she’s getting over and thinking “oh that’s the best sex” she really playing herself and he playin’ her. Cause it ain’t about her, it’s about his ego and about his penis and his testicals and about how many notches he can get up on his belt to brag about.
posted by liquorice at 4:47 PM on April 17, 2007 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: Don't you even think about hitting bottom.
posted by rdone at 4:47 PM on April 17, 2007 [2 favorites]


> That's weird. I was just thinking of a plate of shrimp.

Robert Johnson wrote a whole song about one. (Listen to a snippet here. When oh when will they give us smellovision?)
posted by jfuller at 4:49 PM on April 17, 2007


The whole inexplicable K-Fed/Brittney thing just snapped into focus for me, too. Thank you, internets!
posted by maxwelton at 4:50 PM on April 17, 2007


Metafilter: a GOLDMINE of Metafilter: quotes
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:50 PM on April 17, 2007 [3 favorites]


Oh.

Oh, my God.
posted by kbanas at 4:53 PM on April 17, 2007


Thank you, MetaFilter, for enriching my life in infinite ways.

I can't wait to show this to my girlfriend. :)
posted by zoogleplex at 4:56 PM on April 17, 2007


hahahahahahahahahahahaha
posted by PigAlien at 4:56 PM on April 17, 2007


Metafilter: Hitting the Walls and Working the Middle
posted by The Straightener at 5:01 PM on April 17, 2007 [7 favorites]


Metafilter: actually hooked on cum.
posted by awesomebrad at 5:04 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: Hooked on the penis.
posted by i_am_a_Jedi at 5:10 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: hitting the walls and working the middle

couldn't resist
posted by geekyguy at 5:11 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


Bzzt, you lose geekyguy.
posted by zoogleplex at 5:12 PM on April 17, 2007


shoulda previewed. d'oh.

eponysterical as delivered previously.
posted by geekyguy at 5:13 PM on April 17, 2007


I just showed this to my husband, and he didn't think it was funny at all. Which makes me question our entire marriage.
posted by macadamiaranch at 5:13 PM on April 17, 2007 [5 favorites]


It's like if you took the content of a sexuality seminar at the local women's college, and had Wanda Sykes work it into her act.
posted by gimonca at 5:14 PM on April 17, 2007


dozo writes "O damn, PeterMcDermott, Man is Fat Man Scoop!"

I wondered if it was him. I knew he was a DJ. He comes across as a hugely likeable guy without any of that hiphop misogyny at all.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:14 PM on April 17, 2007


I just showed this to my husband, and he didn't think it was funny at all. Which makes me question our entire marriage.

Better stay prayed up (as instructed)
posted by i_am_a_Jedi at 5:15 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


I just showed this to my husband, and he didn't think it was funny at all. Which makes me question our entire marriage.

Yes, but does he hit bottom? (sorry, couldn't resist)
posted by waitingtoderail at 5:19 PM on April 17, 2007


macadamiaranch writes "I just showed this to my husband, and he didn't think it was funny at all. Which makes me question our entire marriage."

He's your *husband*, see. He hasn't been around, he isn't a ho, he isn't aware of the power of the penis and he doesn't know how to soothe a woman.
He's not working the sides, working the middle or hitting the bottom. It's no wonder he doesn't think it's funny. He doesn't know how to twist you and bend you like a pretzel.

You need a dog with heat in his penis. Now, how would you like to come along to Long John Silver for some shrimp?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:20 PM on April 17, 2007 [8 favorites]


". . . while he's thrusting the penis in and out, who who whose is it? Whose vagina is it? Who it belong to? What'd I say? Who? Who?"

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large orgasm?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful vagina!
posted by fandango_matt at 5:37 PM on April 17, 2007 [18 favorites]


Robert Johnson wrote a whole song about one. wrt: Dead Shrimp Blues.

And here was me thinking that was a song about losing your penis power to the Devil as part of the price you pay at the crossroads to play guitar real pretty.

Makes it easier to keep it, the orgasm and the love separate though.
posted by Sparx at 5:38 PM on April 17, 2007


Wow — 9 minutes, 14 seconds without taking a breath. Alexyss may have a Master's in Johnson, but I'd say she's missed her calling: She's a shoo-in for triathlon gold in Beijing next year.
posted by rob511 at 5:41 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


I can only watch about 30 seconds of this at a time because I keep cackling and I don't want to miss anything. This woman is both maternal and hot, and that in itself confuses the hell out of me. "Hittin' the walls and workin' the middle" is my new favorite phrase.

Metafilter: Programed all up in her rectum.
posted by tula at 5:49 PM on April 17, 2007


I believe I may channel Peter Griffin when I say: This is awesome.
posted by Pope Guilty at 5:55 PM on April 17, 2007


AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA....

"...And then they start talkin'."
posted by katillathehun at 5:56 PM on April 17, 2007


That's nine minutes and fourteen seconds, more or less, of psychological projection.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 5:57 PM on April 17, 2007 [2 favorites]


Uh, whose vagina is this?
posted by dirigibleman at 6:00 PM on April 17, 2007


Bless Alexyss Tylor. Bless that woman.

You people may laugh, but in the wrong hands penis power is a terrible, terrible thing. If you'd ever had someone ejaculate into your brain you'd understand.
posted by melissa may at 6:12 PM on April 17, 2007 [15 favorites]


penis power corrupts. and absolute penis power corrupts absolutely.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 6:14 PM on April 17, 2007 [8 favorites]


My mother's sex talk with me as a teen was a lot like that.
posted by sleepy pete at 6:15 PM on April 17, 2007 [2 favorites]


graham chapman and eric idle are MASTERS of disguise, aren't they?

"French Ticklers! Black Mambos! Crocodile Ribs! Sheaths that are designed not only to protect, but also to enhance the stimulation of sexual congress."
posted by pyramid termite at 6:23 PM on April 17, 2007


At the end, the mother says: "The only thing I can say is, again, I've learned something that I didn't know"

Yes. I think we all learned something today. Thank you.
posted by jefbla at 6:24 PM on April 17, 2007


Eheh she is definitely acting a "I ain't takin no shit motherfucker" 'tude ..she has some valid point, but she is messing a lot , doing a lot of confusion and worst of it taking an antagonistic point of view man vs woman.
posted by elpapacito at 6:26 PM on April 17, 2007



"Uh, whose vagina is this?"

Good question. dirigibleman? You may want to avoid her for a month or so. Last jackrabbit hit bottom for sure.
posted by Penny Wise at 6:26 PM on April 17, 2007


The whole thing is just amazing, but when her mother says "We are living in the twenty-first century" in response to the jackrabbit I lost my fucking mind. Hooooleeeeey Shit.
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:26 PM on April 17, 2007


No, no, elpapacito! Man vs women? More like jackrabbit vs. man! Very proud of the metafilter men in not being dragged down to "bottom" here. ;)
posted by Penny Wise at 6:31 PM on April 17, 2007


This thread is worthless without pictures.
posted by ryoshu at 6:39 PM on April 17, 2007


Holy crap, I'm literally in tears... this thread had more genuinely laugh-out-loud funny moments than anything I've read in a while. Awesome, and thanks all.
posted by jonson at 6:44 PM on April 17, 2007


This is the best of the web. For real.
posted by Jeremy at 6:55 PM on April 17, 2007


That was her MOTHER?

I was trying to figure the show out for the whole nine minutes. Was the talkative lady supposed to be interviewing the quiet lady and didn't know how to properly conduct an interview, or was the talkative lady trying to sell a book and the quiet lady didn't know how to control her interview guest?

Didn't the talkative lady know she was on television? I doubt she realized it'd get broadcast beyond public access tv where she theorized no one was watching anyway - now the whole planet can see it.

What the hell kinda public access show is this anyway? Public access is not supposed to be this entertaining. It might draw ratings away from actual network programming. Then where will we be?

Wayne's World seems so... tame in comparison now...
posted by ZachsMind at 7:02 PM on April 17, 2007


Wow.

" He breakin her down man -- screwin her into slavery..."

She is ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Was there a question that prompted this....barrage?

The outro -- cut to groovin A - then to All Prayed Up -

oh my god wow.

Thanks!
posted by RubberHen at 7:09 PM on April 17, 2007


My face is on fire. My shirt is covered in tears. Word cannot express my approval. You, sir, deserve a Nobel Prize for finding this.

Oh, and lest I forget.

Metafilter: Because all penises are not created equal.
posted by aftermarketradio at 7:10 PM on April 17, 2007


Cable access is the purest art form in America.
posted by Ynoxas at 7:14 PM on April 17, 2007


WOOP! Work dat middle! You done hit the bottom! That post done ejaculated in my brain!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 7:20 PM on April 17, 2007


I love the way she pronounces "penis." Well, really, I love pretty much everything about this clip. I want a higher-resolution version to put on DVD, maybe as a stocking stuffer. A stocking stuffer that hits the sides and works the middle.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:20 PM on April 17, 2007


You, sir, deserve a Nobel Prize for finding this.

I actually had a friend point it out to me, so I'll have to pass the Nobel on to him. I also see that it's posted at WFMU's Beware of the Blog, (which I saw after posting) so I suppose the credit is actually theirs.
posted by waitingtoderail at 7:20 PM on April 17, 2007


I love the way she pronounces "penis."


THE PEENUS
posted by rxrfrx at 7:25 PM on April 17, 2007


Just for reference: The Rabbit

And also, dammit waitingtoderail, I was going to post this too. So long as it got posted.

I have to go now, my vagina is getting cold.
posted by emjaybee at 7:25 PM on April 17, 2007


Put on.
posted by rleamon at 7:34 PM on April 17, 2007


Okay, am I the only guy wondering if she's a complete freak in the sack and really into it?
posted by adipocere at 7:46 PM on April 17, 2007


YT comment by the video uploader:

There is another full hour of this TV Gold that I will post soon where Alexyss Tylor explains how homosexual men only hold "fake vagina power" and why "homeless men suck d*** for a sam-ich" among other great topics.

Oh, and fantastic post.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:56 PM on April 17, 2007


Okay, am I the only guy wondering if she's a complete freak in the sack and really into it?

Well. She certainly seems to know all my secrets. So I'm betting yes.
posted by tkchrist at 8:02 PM on April 17, 2007


Dear Moderators: Please re-enact parts of this video for this week's podcast. kthxbye.
posted by macadamiaranch at 8:04 PM on April 17, 2007 [21 favorites]


I've sent this to everyone I know. If my boss doesn't laugh 'till he pukes then I really don't want to work here anymore.
posted by Mamapotomus at 8:07 PM on April 17, 2007


So does anyone know if she's for or against sex? I'm assuming that cuz her show is called Vagina Power, she's insinuating that the enemy is Penis Power.

"Okay, am I the only guy wondering if she's a complete freak in the sack and really into it?"

Sounds to me like she's got too many hangups. Too much baggage there. Too much water under her bridge and it's getting all backed up.

She'd stop you in the middle of lovemaking if you happened to be a talker, cuz she doesn't want you puttin' no whammies on her head and conditioning her while she's in a susceptible state of mind and her defenses are down. In fact, I doubt she ever lets her defenses down long enough to let a man get a word in edgewise.

Freak in the sack? Maybe just a freak is all.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:07 PM on April 17, 2007


The fastest and funniest nine minutes ever. Alexyss has obviously harnessed the awesome energy of vagina power.
posted by CMichaelCook at 8:07 PM on April 17, 2007


She certainly seems to know all my secrets.

Yes, she has an insight into sexual experiences that belies the third-person analysis.
posted by Miko at 8:07 PM on April 17, 2007


Okay, am I the only guy wondering if she's a complete freak in the sack and really into it?

At one point she closes her eyes while describing a "scenario", and it dawns on me ... she's recalling an event. There's nothing hypothetical about her examples - they all happened and she's venting ;)
posted by itchylick at 8:08 PM on April 17, 2007


If HBO gave her a show to host…I'd watch it. I'm just not sure exactly what for.
posted by timelord at 8:09 PM on April 17, 2007


At first I thought this was going to be a rant by Alexis Taylor, the porn star. But that wouldnt have been nearly as fun.

Okay, am I the only guy wondering if she's a complete freak in the sack and really into it?
About half-way through the clip she looks like she's about to slip into some sex-fueled fugue. I'm guessing she's one of those crazy women who's a lot of fun to sleep with but will boil your bunny if you turn your back on her.
posted by lekvar at 8:12 PM on April 17, 2007


I'm speechless.
posted by tellurian at 8:15 PM on April 17, 2007


MetaFilter: will boil your bunny if you turn your back on her.
posted by cgc373 at 8:15 PM on April 17, 2007


Am I really the only one who saw "Penis Power" and thought of Zardoz?
posted by teferi at 8:21 PM on April 17, 2007


For those of you who are at work and can't wait to go home and go to YouTube, I put my vestigial super-medical-transciptionist skills to good use by transcribing from 4:44 on. Y'all can thank me later.

(I don't there's anything hypothetical about Alexyss' monologue/diatribe. Did anyone really think she was just imagining what some hypothetical man might do to some hypothetical woman?)

[4:44]

Alexyss: Remember, that’s why I was sayin’ on the other show, don’t let every man hit the bottom of your vagina, the root of your vagina, and you…

Co-host(?): They don’t know about the bottom. They don’t know about the bottom.

Alexyss: Yeah that bottom, but see every man might not know, because he might not have a penis to really know how to hit that bottom, or how to lift or hit that bottom and work that middle with a woman, she spread her legs wide and she start screaming, sayin’, “yeah daddy, that’s it,” or she might start cursin’ or screaming out all types of profanities ‘cause he doesn’t hit the bottom, and now her mind – she insane, her mind ain’t good because the penis done ejaculated all in her brain. She’s gone crazy. So you don’t let every man hit your bottom, and your body remembers it. Just like a man’ll put a woman over doggy style or maybe get a mirror or somethin’, then they start hittin’ that woman from the back, or from the back they hittin’ her. Then they start talkin’. They start sayin’ all kinda stuff to her while they hittin’ her, and see that woman is being seduced, she bein’ seduced, he breakin’ her down, man, he is screwin’ her into submission! He’s screwin’ her into slavery by using the penis as a weapon to break her ass down! And… and her defenses, I mean she wide open. With a penis all up in your vagina, man you don’t have no defenses! Unless you just really are thinking, and this is not about the love experience, this is about a money experience, or she’s a prostitute, then she’s working it just for her benefit. But when a woman’s really liking this man and she’s feelin’ him and what he’s doin’, ’specially if she’s sneakin’ around with him and he has nothin’ to give her and her man is treatin’ her better than he is, he has already got her defenses down but she’s very weak. And that’s the worst thing that can happen, is a man to get you and while he’s thrustin’ the penis in and out, who who who is it? Whose vagina is it? Who it belong to? What I say, who, who? And then the woman start callin’ out the man’s name, screamin’ the man’s name, then she let him know she comin’, when she comin’ she hollerin, she callin’ for him, man this stuff is programmed all up in this woman’s vagina, rectum, uterus, all up in this mind right here, and that will actually bind her, actually reduce her to a come freak.

So if she can’t get to him she’ll slip him in (?), and then that’s where the jackrabbits and all the different-size penises and dildos come in because she is tryin’ to… she’s rememberin’ and tryin’ to recapture that experience, and that’s why I said you don’t let want to everyone hit that bottom, you don’t want to let everybody spank you and talk to you all kind of ways because women, they… especially when their man pullin’ back and won’t give you the penis no more, women will be all in the bed at night, tossin’ and turnin’, they dreamin’ about it, lord have mercy they wake up out of their sleep because they dreamt that their man done did this to somebody else, and the thought of that you know is devastatin’, that woman’s heart get to beatin’ fast, blood pressure go up she can’t hardly catch her breath, just to think about that man has rationed that out and laid that out for somebody else and bent them over and talked to them too, and spanked them?

Co-host: [indecipherable]

Alexyss Tylor: [… ] and I don’t have any PhDs and masters degrees to put on my wall in academia, but I have a masters degree in being played by men, used by men, told everything I want to hear to get me into the positions, and I am… to be honest with you, I’m just gonna be real about it, I’m very upset by being made a fool out of and…

Alexyss: We’re about to close now, but is there somethin’… ‘cause I didn’t, I didn’t let you talk very much – you let me talk. Say what you want to say for the closing, go ahead and say what you want to say [laughing], I’m sorry!

Co-host: The only thing I can say is that again, I’ve learned something that I didn’t know. And I’m definitely gonna be on the watchout ‘cause I know what’s out there, it’ll come atcha, and from what you’re sayin’ it comin’ atcha with all full force, all this power comin’ atcha, then a girl don’t have a chance! So I’m gonna have to stay prayed up!

Alexyss: Yeah, we have to know who we are; we got to know our role.

Co-host: I got to keep standing in the Lord. I got to ask Jesus to keep me every day.

Alexyss: Thank you for watching the Alexyss Tylor Show, and we’ll see you next time with more of… Vagina Power!

[laughter]

Co-host: Peace.
posted by jenii at 8:30 PM on April 17, 2007 [4 favorites]


Thank you so much for this. I needed it (no doubt because of some kinda penis power brain-ejaculate).

I'm kinda confused about when "hitting it" means "sexual intercourse" and when it means "whacking into the cervix" and when it means "spanking". Also when "hitting the bottom" means...hitting the bottom, because that also seems to turn into cervix-bashing/spanking as well...maybe when I watch it again I can stop laughing so much that I get all bent up like a pretzel and understand all up in my uterus and mind better.

I want to subscribe to her newsletter.
posted by biscotti at 8:34 PM on April 17, 2007


I cannot get enough. So I went to the web site linked above and it seems to be out of whack. No doubt Alexyss has caught on and she's exceeded her bandwidth limits. But vaginapower.info is still up and running. And it has more videos! (And some freaky pictures of Alexyss in what looks like a German army officer's hat smoking a cigar.)
posted by CMichaelCook at 8:47 PM on April 17, 2007


Okay. I just watched her "costume" video, and it's not a German army officer's hat. It's pilot's hat, she says, "because you gotta be piloting the pussy."
posted by CMichaelCook at 8:54 PM on April 17, 2007


I see "piloting the pussy" and I interpret that to mean "doling out the pussy."
posted by ZachsMind at 9:00 PM on April 17, 2007


seriously, this is better than anything else i have ever seen on mefi. better than pessoa even. oh my god!
posted by ifjuly at 9:08 PM on April 17, 2007


You guys really, really didn't need to include spellings and whatnot to reproduce the vernacular. You might want to think about why you did as well as ZachsMind's choice in writing “cuz she doesn't want you puttin' no whammies on her head”.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:10 PM on April 17, 2007


becuz of ebonix?
posted by gorgor_balabala at 9:18 PM on April 17, 2007


OMG. If only I had a daughter. Wait! I have neices!


/runs off to bookmark and email this to various and sundry in-laws.
posted by lysdexic at 9:31 PM on April 17, 2007


well, fuck, I can't very well ruin the 69 favorites this thing has now by favoriting it.
posted by juv3nal at 9:32 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


god from the fucking moment someone offered to transcribe this i knew it was only a matter of time until someone insinuated that replacing "ing" with "in'" means you're racist.

go read a coen brothers screenplay.
posted by nathancaswell at 9:32 PM on April 17, 2007


aw nevermind, someone else did it.
posted by juv3nal at 9:33 PM on April 17, 2007


EB - the vernacular she uses is part of teh funny. Losing that would have been a poor choice indeed.
posted by Justinian at 9:33 PM on April 17, 2007


god from the fucking moment someone offered to transcribe this i knew it was only a matter of time until someone insinuated that replacing "ing" with "in'" means you're racist.

Seriously. Go read Maus.
posted by jonson at 9:34 PM on April 17, 2007


MetaFilter: Yeah daddy, that’s it!
posted by Firas at 9:36 PM on April 17, 2007


Am I the only one who noticed she suddenly affected a White Newscaster Accent at the very end, when she was signing off? Devastating.

STAY PRAYED UP, MEFITES!
posted by Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson at 9:42 PM on April 17, 2007


I noticed the switch to Broadcast English too. I'd actually moved on to another tab and was only listening when I heard that part. I had to go back and replay it to be sure it was her.
posted by lysdexic at 9:49 PM on April 17, 2007


“EB - the vernacular she uses is part of teh funny. Losing that would have been a poor choice indeed.”

Oughn't that tell you something?
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:50 PM on April 17, 2007


THE COMPLETE ALEXIS TYLOR TRANSCRIPT
as brought to you by
Metafilter: The Bottom of Your Vagina

Alexyss Tylor:...of some of the things I'm talking about, because if you really wanna earn your man you need to learn your man, and a lot of the time we get caught up with the wrong man, or caught up in a man's penis power because it's good - I mean, if a man has been around and he's a ho, especially like the ones I'm talking about, they're hopping from here, here, and there - they have a lot of practice and they know a woman's body, they know the power of their penis, and they know how to soothe her body and to soothe her vagina, so it's really easy to be caught up with that dog kind of man, like that one girl asked me, "Well why…" - she thought something was wrong with her because she liked the flashy guys with the jewelry. I said there's nothing wrong with liking a flashy man, you just have to know what kind of spirit and energy he's carrying, cause there are some good men, although they still like to flash, they're not whores and they don't give their penis to everybody. You have to be able to recognize them, because the man that is living to ejaculate? He's in a predator mode. And when a man is in a predator mode, he's going to look for the weaknesses of a woman - a woman that's lonely, her vagina is cold, she's laying in bed at night playing with her toys, or she's got a man beside her, he's a good provider, but he's not hitting the walls and working the middle like that dog that she's been having that sneaky sex with.

Mother: What drives a woman to... toys?

Alexyss Tylor: Because, like I said, she needs the vagina penetration. A lot of women are hooked on having clitoral stimulation. You have an outer orgasm with your clitoris, but also you have inner orgasms, inside, the intra-vagina, inside the vagina walls, hidden g-spots, and every woman's g-spot may be similar or some women may have more than one g-spot, so some women are actually hooked on cum. And I mean there's women that can be at work, at their desk, they got the jackrabbit on - it's a part you can buy, hook it onto your clitoris all throughout the day, and you can be having orgasms...

Mother (interrupting): Jackrabbit?

Alexyss Tylor: …one of them, I know they call...I knew some girls, that was their favorite product - that was their favorite best buddy they keep in their pocketbook...

Mother: See, I go back to, when I was a little girl being raised in the country - jackrabbit jump from here to there.

Alexyss Tylor (interrupting): Yeah, well, you're talking about the rabbits out...

[CROSSTALK]

Mother: Jump! Jump! No, I ain't talking about no real rabbit, but a rabbit in nature jump from here to there, just constantly moving.

Alexyss Tylor: Yes and they say they have taken that same concept of the rabbit jumping from here to there - the design of it - it jumps all up on the clitoris, just jump out of control and make the woman have an incredible orgasm.

Mother: We are living in the twenty-first century.

Alexyss Tylor: That's the mechanical jackrabbit for the clit.

[JUMP]

Alexyss Tylor: Some men, they have so much heat and intensity in their penis that you can feel it radiating through their clothes, just to touch the penis, it's on fire, it feels like it's fire underneath the skin. So a lot of women start going crazy, they actually think, cause all penises are not created equal and they don't hold the same level of intensity. So if there's one hot like that and he has the energy, he knows how to work his hips, work his buttocks, and really twist her and bend her like she's a pretzel and give her the gratification she needs, she's going to be hooked and think that that's love, or a deeper root level, she's going to become sexually, mentally, and emotionally attached - although he ain't no good, and this other man she's with, provides for her, takes care of children that ain't even his - that woman will still sneak and get that penis power from him, but what she doesn't realize is, we have to deal with our attachments and separate the love, the orgasm, and the penis. They are separate issues. Cause if we are in a lower level of it, and we hooked on the penis power, and this man won't even buy you some shrimp from Long John Silver's - and what, that plate, what, $2.99?

Well he give you a mouthful of sperm and a rectum full of sperm and he gonna get a light ring (?). It’s like, we have to see what our issue is, because a man like that doesn’t respect a woman. Yeah he’ll hit her, but if a man is having sex with you and he had an opportunity to be with you or he’s a ex so that means he had you before the other man that’s providing for you could get to you, and all he’s offering you is a side of penis when he can sneak in and out of your man bed and out your man house. That man ain’t got no respect for you and he know you don’t have none for yourself but because you’re so hooked on him and you hooked on the penis you will sacrifice and sell yourself out to let him come in the back door or let him come at lunch or come in the dark when your real man don’t have the same penis power is handling all the expenses so a woman think she’s getting over and thinking “oh that’s the best sex” she really playing herself and he playin’ her. Cause it ain’t about her, it’s about his ego and about his penis and his testicles and about how many notches he can get up on his belt to brag about.

[JUMP]

Alexyss Tylor: Remember, that’s why I was sayin’ on the other show, don’t let every man hit the bottom of your vagina, the root of your vagina, and you…

Mother: They don’t know about the bottom. They don’t know about the bottom.

Alexyss Tylor: Yeah that bottom, but see every man might not know, because he might not have a penis to really know how to hit that bottom, or how to lift or hit that bottom and work that middle with a woman, she spread her legs wide and she start screaming, sayin’, “yeah daddy, that’s it,” or she might start cursin’ or screaming out all types of profanities ‘cause he doesn’t hit the bottom, and now her mind – she insane, her mind ain’t good because the penis done ejaculated all in her brain. She’s gone crazy. So you don’t let every man hit your bottom, and your body remembers it. Just like a man’ll put a woman over doggy style or maybe get a mirror or somethin’, then they start hittin’ that woman from the back, or from the back they hittin’ her. Then they start talkin’. They start sayin’ all kinda stuff to her while they hittin’ her, and see that woman is being seduced, she bein’ seduced, he breakin’ her down, man, he is screwin’ her into submission! He’s screwin’ her into slavery by using the penis as a weapon to break her ass down! And… and her defenses, I mean she wide open. With a penis all up in your vagina, man you don’t have no defenses! Unless you just really are thinking, and this is not about the love experience, this is about a money experience, or she’s a prostitute, then she’s working it just for her benefit. But when a woman’s really liking this man and she’s feelin’ him and what he’s doin’, ’specially if she’s sneakin’ around with him and he has nothin’ to give her and her man is treatin’ her better than he is, he has already got her defenses down but she’s very weak. And that’s the worst thing that can happen, is a man to get you and while he’s thrustin’ the penis in and out, who who who is it? Whose vagina is it? Who it belong to? What I say, who, who? And then the woman start callin’ out the man’s name, screamin’ the man’s name, then she let him know she comin’, when she comin’ she hollerin, she callin’ for him, man this stuff is programmed all up in this woman’s vagina, rectum, uterus, all up in this mind right here, and that will actually bind her, actually reduce her to a cum freak.

So if she can’t get to him she’ll slip him in, and then that’s where the jackrabbits and all the different-size penises and dildos come in because she is tryin’ to… she’s rememberin’ and tryin’ to recapture that experience, and that’s why I said you don’t let want to everyone hit that bottom, you don’t want to let everybody spank you and talk to you all kind of ways because women, they… especially when their man pullin’ back and won’t give you the penis no more, women will be all in the bed at night, tryin’ to sleep, tossin’ and turnin’, they dreamin’ about it, lord have mercy they wake up out of their sleep because they dreamt that their man done did this to somebody else, and the thought of that you know is devastatin’, that woman’s heart get to beatin’ fast, blood pressure go up she can’t hardly catch her breath, just to think about that man has rationed that out and laid that out for somebody else and bent them over and talked to them too, and spanked them?

Mother: [indecipherable]

[JUMP]

Alexyss Tylor: [… ] and I don’t have any PhDs and masters degrees to put on my wall in academia, but I have a masters degree in being played by men, used by men, told everything I want to hear to get me into the positions, and I am… to be honest with you, I’m just gonna be real about it, I’m very upset by being made a fool out of and bein’…

[JUMP]

Alexyss Tylor: We’re about to close now, but is there somethin’… ‘cause I didn’t, I didn’t let you talk very much – you let me talk. Say what you want to say for the closing, go ahead and say what you want to say [laughing], I’m sorry!

Mother: The only thing I can say is that again, I’ve learned something that I didn’t know. And I’m definitely gonna be on the watchout ‘cause I know what’s out there, it’ll come atcha, and from what you’re sayin’ it comin’ atcha with all full force, all this power comin’ atcha, then a girl ain’t got a chance! So I’m gonna have to stay prayed up!

Alexyss Tylor: Yeah, we have to know who we are; we got to know our role.

Mother: I got to keep standing in the Lord. I got to ask Jesus to keep me every day.

Alexyss Tylor: Thank you for watching the Alexyss Tylor Show, and we’ll see you next time with more of… Vagina Power!

[laughter]

Mother: Peace.

-------------
This transcript is owing to the strikingly accurate efforts of waitingtoderail, licquorice, and jenii, and my own remarkable powers of cut and paste. (I also ran through the video and gave a quick copy edit.)
posted by bicyclefish at 9:51 PM on April 17, 2007 [27 favorites]


Jesu Christe, EB! I'm not going to bother to argue here besides to say you're tilting at windmills.
posted by Firas at 9:53 PM on April 17, 2007


“Jesu Christe, EB! I'm not going to bother to argue here besides to say you're tilting at windmills.”

She says some outrageously silly things and it's funny when she does. But I don't believe for a second that it's exclusively the content of what she says that people here find so hilarious. ZachsMind's affected tone in what he wrote says as much. Justinian literally says as much. I'd like to say that there's a class issue underneath this, but as far as I can tell this woman is intelligent and middle-class. That leaves race.

There's no reason for me to continue arguing this, so I won't. I just hope that I've made some people in this thread think about their reaction to this clip.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 10:06 PM on April 17, 2007


HI I'M ON METAFILTER AND I COULD OVERTHINK A PLATE OF SHRIMP
posted by Afroblanco at 10:10 PM on April 17, 2007 [6 favorites]


Seriously depressing, if you ask me..
posted by Chuckles at 10:15 PM on April 17, 2007


MetaFilter: it’s about his ego and about his penis and his testicals and about how many notches he can get up on his belt to brag about.
posted by Chuckles at 10:15 PM on April 17, 2007


Alright, so it's obviously stereotypically 'black' sexuality as opposed to white sexuality. So what? Nobody is out there denying that African-American culture is fairy explicitly randy. Heck, that's the argument by Henry Louis Gates, Jr. used in defense of 2 Live Crew in court.

Why not make your charge explicit? "I think finding this funny is racist because __________."
posted by Firas at 10:16 PM on April 17, 2007


In defense of white males everywhere, there have been some moments on Sex with Sue that have made me laugh almost as hard...
posted by anthill at 10:20 PM on April 17, 2007


But I don't believe for a second that it's exclusively the content of what she says that people here find so hilarious.

Yeah, because it totally wouldn't be funny if it was Queen Elizabeth II and the Queen Mother if she weren't dead, both using over the top posh Received Pronunciation:

QE2: And I mean there are women that can be at work, at their desk, with a jackrabbit on - it's a part you can buy, hook it onto your clitoris all throughout the day, and you can continue to have orgasms...

QM (interrupting): Jackrabbit?

QE2: …one of those, I know they call...I knew some girls, that was their favorite product - that was their best buddy they keep in their pocketbook...

QM: See, I go back to, when I was a little girl being raised in the country estate - a jackrabbit jumps from here to there.

QE2 (interrupting): Yes, well, you're talking about the rabbits out...

[CROSSTALK]

QM: Jump! Jump! No, I'm not talking about a real rabbit, but a rabbit in nature jumps from here to there, just constantly moving.

QE2: Yes and they say they have taken that same concept of the rabbit jumping from here to there - the design of it - it jumps upon the clitoris, jumps out of control and makes the woman have an incredible orgasm.

QM: We are living in the twenty-first century.

QE2: That's the mechanical jackrabbit for the clitoris.


That would be completely sober and lacking in any humor.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:30 PM on April 17, 2007 [9 favorites]


Oh, god. Every time I catch my breath after laughing till I can't breathe, I scroll down a little more, and some link or comment sends me back into hysterics.

This is gold-plated gold.
posted by sparkletone at 10:49 PM on April 17, 2007


Where the hell is "the bottom of your vagina"? I'm trying to picture that. Okay, I know I'm foolish to try to make sense of this. She's the only one who says stuff like this, right? I mean, there aren't a bunch of people running around that would take this seriously, right? Please?
posted by Listener at 11:00 PM on April 17, 2007


This is the twentyfirst century, where no vagina needs to go cold.

I wonder what she thinks of lesbians... how do these women ever manage without men ejaculating all up in their brains? Or have they truly harnessed the vagina power, hitting bottom and working it from the middle? It's a mystery.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:00 PM on April 17, 2007


That leaves race.

Uh huh. You go ahead and dwell on that, then, while the rest of us laugh at the fact that some woman delivered a frank and clearly bitter sexual tirade with her mother on a public access television show called VAGINA POWER.
posted by katillathehun at 11:02 PM on April 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


I think it would be even better if Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry were to do a version as Wooster and Jeeves:

WOOSTER: I say, Jeeves, that woman needs, how shall I say it? She needs vaginal penetration. Most women on the London scene are hooked on clitoral stimulation, not to mention the outer orgasms, inner orgasms within the intra-vagina, inside the vagina walls, all of which utilize hidden g-spots! Jeeves, fetch my copy of Gray's Anatomy.

JEEVES: Here, sir.

WOOSTER: Now then. Ah, yes! Here it is, diagram 42-B. Some women may have more than one g-spot, so some women are actually hooked on cum. Good lord, Jeeves!

JEEVES: Sir?

WOOSTER: Jeeves, according to this textbook, women can be at work, at their desk, and all the while they've got their jackrabbit on, hitched to their clitoris throughout the day, having orgasms . . .

JEEVES (interrupting): Jackrabbit, sir?

WOOSTER: The Jackrabbit, Jeeves. By George, one of them, a girl I knew at Oxford, the jackrabbit was her favorite traveling companion, riding about in her pocketbook!

JEEVES: Indeed, sir. I do remember as a young boy having seen jackrabbits jumping from here to there.

WOOSTER: What? No, Jeeves, I'm talking about a device for female pleasure!

JEEVES: Yes, sir. If I recall correctly, the jackrabbit device is so named for its ability to mimic and induce in women the hopping motions one observes in large-eared wild rodents.

WOOSTER: Precisely, Jeeves! Where was I?

JEEVES: Orgasm-inducing devices, sir.

WOOSTER: Thank you, Jeeves. Now then, we need to obtain one of these jackrabbits for my aunt Agatha. You say the same concept of the rabbit jumping from here to there--the design of it--it jumps up on the clitoris?

JEEVES: Yes, sir. The jackrabbit just jumps out of control and induces an incredible orgasm.

WOOSTER: We are living in the twenty-first century, Jeeves!

JEEVES: That's the mechanical jackrabbit for the clitoris, sir.

posted by fandango_matt at 11:02 PM on April 17, 2007 [29 favorites]



I just showed this to my husband, and he didn't think it was funny at all. Which makes me question our entire marriage.


Ditto, except replace husband with girlfriend, and he with she. Oh, and marriage with something else. Whatever.
posted by pkingdesign at 11:07 PM on April 17, 2007


Jeeves: If I recall correctly, the jackrabbit device is so named for its ability to mimic and induce in women the hopping motions one observes in large-eared wild rodents.

(That night.)

"Jeeves!"

"Yes, Sir?"

"I have RAN here, through the streets of London, fleeing an abomination of a hidebound footman."

"It occured to me, Sir, that you looked a bit Out Of It. I thought it improper to inquire as to why."

I stared at him coldly. "Jeeves, you did not warn me to not gift my Aunt a device for—for—for private leisure."

Jeeves poured me a rivitalizing elixir. "You didn't notice my disapproving cough, Sir?"

"Jeeves!" I cried in despair. "Nevermind the aunt! What about my gift? The gift we sent off? I shall lose the girl!"

He paused. "Ah. I substituted a box of chocolates. More in season, shall we say."
posted by Firas at 11:20 PM on April 17, 2007 [3 favorites]


Firas I disagree with alright, so it's obviously stereotypically 'black' sexuality as opposed to white sexuality.

Its not a colour thing - it's a size thing.

Also, quality - I read the comments, and had to close the door to my office to listen. It has given me insight into past relationships...

*still chuckling several hours later*
posted by Samuel Farrow at 11:20 PM on April 17, 2007


The only thing is that W&J's hats wouldn't be as fine.
posted by WolfDaddy at 11:23 PM on April 17, 2007


And I thought the Robin Byrd show was the pinnacle of prurience on public access TV ...

Robin Byrd is not a patch on this phenomenal woman, Alexyss. I just wonder how mother and daughter look so very different and have a pretty non-existent rapport between each other.
posted by Azaadistani at 11:42 PM on April 17, 2007


So does anyone know if she's for or against sex?

Are you kidding? If you you got the penis power, she's got the vagina power baby.
posted by caddis at 11:47 PM on April 17, 2007


fandango_matt wins, except that I could totally imagine the membership of the Drones Club discussing these various issues.

Next on metafilter: THE EYE OF VAGINA POWER. "Thou does please me, wench," Grignr snarled as he ejaculated in her head. "Now I shall bend you like a pretzel from the stygian haunts of the pretzel oven and plumb your bottom! I shall work it in the middle with my mighting Qrnzaxian buttocks! You shall have a many-faucetted scarlet rectum of sperm!"
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:53 PM on April 17, 2007 [8 favorites]


but as far as I can tell this woman is intelligent and middle-class. That leaves race.

No, it leaves a great southern accent, excellent comedy timing, great facial expressions, incredibly candor and fabulous sex slang. Unless you're implying that a white woman couldn't have those qualities. It's her delivery--like she's recounting a story to her best girlfriends over coffee rather than over public airwaves--that makes it funny, not LOLBLX.
posted by tula at 11:53 PM on April 17, 2007 [5 favorites]


Incidentally, Listener, it's definitely possible to hit the 'bottom of your vagina' (ie. the cervix)—vaginas expand with arousal.
posted by Firas at 11:58 PM on April 17, 2007


As far as I can tell, women divide readily into "Don't you even think about hitting bottom" and "Yes, please!" If only one could tell which at a distance ...

Well, those categories may be a little fuzzier than you'd think -- some women could give either answer, depending on various circumstances around when you raise the question.
posted by Smilla's Sense of Snark at 1:02 AM on April 18, 2007


I totally remember seeing this video in 7th grade sex ed. Taught me everything I know today!
posted by nevafeva at 1:04 AM on April 18, 2007


I guessed "hitting the bottom" means close-up grinding. Whatever it means, she is awesome but her advice is terrible.
posted by teleskiving at 2:16 AM on April 18, 2007


katillathehun writes

"Uh huh. You go ahead and dwell on that, then, while the
rest of us laugh at the fact that some woman delivered a frank and clearly bitter sexual tirade with her mother on a public access television show called VAGINA POWER."

Bitter? I didn't detect bitter as much as a kind of of wistful and conflicted regret.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:10 AM on April 18, 2007


Next on metafilter: THE EYE OF VAGINA POWER. "Thou does please me, wench," Grignr snarled as he ejaculated in her head.

You, sir, win the entire thread.

And you owe me a new keyboard.
posted by splice at 3:30 AM on April 18, 2007


I think it would be even better if Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry were to do a version as Wooster and Jeeves:

Fandango_Matt, I love that comment so much, I don't just want to favorite it, I want to hit its bottom and work its middle.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:46 AM on April 18, 2007 [1 favorite]


A moment of silence, please, for the TV crew. They had to hold the cameras steady while they were filming this. That must have been the hardest thing ever.
posted by Deathalicious at 5:20 AM on April 18, 2007



Actually, if you hit the cervix, which is *not* at the end of the vagina, but moves up and down along it to suck up the sperm, it's usually rather painful. This is why sex at certain points in the cycle can be uncomfortable.

When a woman is ovulating, the cervix moves to the highest point in the vagina that it reaches and sex at this time is least likely to have this problem. Which, of course, makes biological sense.

Which is why the concept of a "bottom of a vagina" is rather silly and part of what makes the thing funny-- the end of the vaginal canal (which probably should be seen more as the "top" anyway) is not especially sensitive.
posted by Maias at 6:10 AM on April 18, 2007


Ethereal Bligh writes "She says some outrageously silly things and it's funny when she does. But I don't believe for a second that it's exclusively the content of what she says that people here find so hilarious."

I'd say it's what she says and how she says it. Not the color of her skin. You can disbelieve that, of course, but you're going to need to provide some kind of evidence if you want to convince one of us who thinks the accent is also funny that the reason isn't because of the pronunciation "PEENUS", but in fact because she's black.
posted by Bugbread at 6:39 AM on April 18, 2007


If it was a bunch of Hispanics or Hispanglos I know, there'd be slang slung everywhere, too. Do WASPS not have this kind of thing? No, wait, there's always the Cockney vernacular, no? But that's not here, that's over the pond.

So, yeah, there's a "class" thing going on here, where the "vernacular speakers" are presumed to be "uneducated", but she blows that right up at the end with her closing. Call it "outreach".

So I'm thinkin' it's a "schtick" thing, and we just wouldn't understand, sewhumsayin'? Comprendese vato?*





*yes, some find that offensive. It wasn't meant, just performance smart-assing
posted by lysdexic at 7:06 AM on April 18, 2007


"Thou does please me, wench,"

Edit: "Thou doth please me, wench,"
posted by spock at 7:12 AM on April 18, 2007


"Thou does please me, wench,"

Edit: "Thou doth please me, wench,"


Edit edit: "Thou dost please me, wench,"
posted by RogerB at 7:22 AM on April 18, 2007


Ethereal Bligh: I thought it was beneath you to troll.

You're an arrogant prick most of the time, and insufferably preachy and condescending all of the time, but I always felt outright trolling was still something you wouldn't stoop to, if for no other reason than to avoid any tarnish on your meticulously wrought online persona.

Obviously, I was wrong.

All Hail King Bligh, defender of hyper-sexed-but-in-denial negro public access talk show hosts everywhere!

May his decree of "You're only laughing because she's black!" go out across this blessed land!

Of course, also note if she were white, and the reaction were the same, EB would stridently proclaim us all sexists because "you're only laughing because she's a woman".

I don't find this as hysterically funny as some of the posters here obviously do, but it was funny, and highly amusing at times.

Remember back in the day Dr. Ruth was a celebrity for the sole reason that she was a tiny old woman who would openly say "penis"? Yeah, it's kinda like that.
posted by Ynoxas at 7:22 AM on April 18, 2007


You guys really, really didn't need to include spellings and whatnot to reproduce the vernacular

You must hate Mark Twain and Zora Neale Husrton.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:25 AM on April 18, 2007


"Thou does please me, wench,"

Edit: "Thou doth please me, wench,"

Edit edit: "Thou dost please me, wench,"


Y'all aren't getting into the Argonian spirit. When you're channeling Jim Theis -- when he's all up in your mental crevices -- you might occasionally misuse archaic English conjugations.

Also, you might refer to mighting buttocks. These would be buttocks that might. That might, both frequently and vigorously. So frequently and vigorously that the act of mighting is a salient characteristic of said buttocks.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:42 AM on April 18, 2007 [1 favorite]


The YouTube video has been removed, and the www.alexyssktylorvaginapower.com site has exceeded its bandwidth. Did anyone set up a mirror?
posted by matildaben at 7:45 AM on April 18, 2007


It loaded for me fine just now, matildaben. What kind of error message did youtube give you?

A mirror is definately a good idea though.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 7:52 AM on April 18, 2007


Ok, now I'm getting the removed by user too.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 7:55 AM on April 18, 2007


Did anyone download the video, or set up a mirror? I was about to make a remix!
posted by c:\awesome at 8:10 AM on April 18, 2007


I've still got it up in a Firefox tab. Attempts to open the same page in other browsers' give the "removed by user" page. Any way to grab it from my cache?
posted by now i'm piste at 8:19 AM on April 18, 2007


The YouTube video has been removed

It's been like that for the last half an hour or so sadly.

I sure do hope someone made copies.

This was my favourite part, as reconstructed from bicyclefish's post:

The only thing I can say is that again, I’ve learned something that I didn’t know. And I’m definitely gonna be on the watchout ‘cause I know what’s out there, it’ll come atcha, and from what you’re sayin’ it comin’ atcha with all full force, all this power comin’ atcha, then a girl ain’t got a chance! So I’m gonna have to stay prayed up!
posted by hadjiboy at 8:39 AM on April 18, 2007


I downloaded it and converted it to an ipod-sized .mp4 as I mentioned in an earlier comment. I can post it if someone wants to start a torrent or something, but I don't have the bandwidth to serve all of your needs. Email's on work section of website in profile if you want to hit me up and I'll send you a link to seed a torrent from.
posted by nathancaswell at 8:50 AM on April 18, 2007


and i've read maus like everyone else, thanks very much.
posted by nathancaswell at 8:54 AM on April 18, 2007


YouTube took it off the site. Any other locations?
posted by brewsterkahle at 8:59 AM on April 18, 2007


Last I checked it was still on devilducky.com
posted by tristeza at 9:00 AM on April 18, 2007


Nathan, can you upload it to youtube?
posted by waitingtoderail at 9:01 AM on April 18, 2007


nathancaswell - You could upload it to senduit and then post the link.
posted by caddis at 9:05 AM on April 18, 2007


alternate link here. thank god.
posted by hypocritical ross at 9:06 AM on April 18, 2007 [2 favorites]


I've mailed the person who posted it to see if the original file can be obtained. I'll keep you posted.

I don't feel confident about DevilDucky.

If this disappears: Disaster!
posted by imperium at 9:14 AM on April 18, 2007


Alright, I'm uploading to Senduit and I'll post the link when it's done.
posted by nathancaswell at 9:17 AM on April 18, 2007


Penis Power. 20 mb.
posted by nathancaswell at 9:27 AM on April 18, 2007 [1 favorite]


Thank you, hypocritical ross!
posted by castironskillet at 9:28 AM on April 18, 2007


Thanks, nathan.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 9:32 AM on April 18, 2007


Thanks, Alexyss Tylor.
posted by hypocritical ross at 9:34 AM on April 18, 2007


I went out on my lunch break to buy headphones SPECIFICALLY to listen to this ... and now it's gone! NNNOOOooooo ...
posted by chinese_fashion at 9:39 AM on April 18, 2007


scroll up 4 comments chinese_fashion.
posted by nathancaswell at 9:41 AM on April 18, 2007


Oop, sorry. What a dumbass. Thanks, nathancaswell
posted by chinese_fashion at 9:43 AM on April 18, 2007


Her voice is incredibly soothing to me.
posted by dead_ at 9:58 AM on April 18, 2007


I downloaded the flv from DevilDucky via FlvStorm and have put it here.
posted by Busy Old Fool at 10:01 AM on April 18, 2007


Metafilter: You're only laughing because she's black!
posted by LordSludge at 11:07 AM on April 18, 2007


No, we're laughing because it's funny!
posted by agent99 at 11:14 AM on April 18, 2007


Thanks Busy Old Fool.
posted by AD_ at 11:20 AM on April 18, 2007


Metafilter: Penis Power 20 MB.
posted by winks007 at 11:52 AM on April 18, 2007


“Of course, also note if she were white, and the reaction were the same, EB would stridently proclaim us all sexists because ‘you're only laughing because she's a woman’.”—Ynoxas

No, I wouldn't. Your comment seems far more like a “troll” than mine because yours is so obviously intentional hyperbole and provocative. Mine was understated and obviously in earnest.

The majority of mefites are left-leaning and whenever a right-leaning commenter comes along and tries to argue that so-called “reverse racism” is racism there is an overwhelming chorus of “social context matters” in response. Well, here, too, social context matters.

Her vernacular is amusing to the largely white MetaFilter audience because it is unfamiliar, associated with a presumed ignorance that resonates with the content of her presentation, and is stereotypically black. There are a number of social translations that would also be humorous, but these do not exist in the same context of endemic American racism against blacks.

I would have expected that mefites, as a group, would have been self-aware and socially-conscious enough to, at the least, tread carefully when the subject of a post is what amounts in mefite eys to a “crazy black woman”. The appearance of racism is never a trivial thing and the reflexive defense of “I know my own mind, I'm not being racist, and you're being hypersensitive” is often proven to be weak and even more often proven to be beside the point. Being tone-deaf to the appearance of racism is a sort of soft racism that is part of the problem.

My comments objecting to the undercurrents in this thread were intentionally gentle and oblique. It's natural for people to be defensive and angry when attacked directly but my aim wasn't a direct attack, not the least because what I'm objecting to is relatively benign in the larger social context of, for example, Imus. Even so, a few were quick to respond quite angrily and in my opinion this is revealing. It's disturbing that this community can be so rabid when criticizing a position it collectively finds abhorrent and disingenuous and yet when the bar is moved just enough to put the majority on the defensive there is little evidence of the self-criticism this same majority otherwise demands of those it usually attacks.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:54 AM on April 18, 2007


EB, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar...
posted by Flashman at 12:31 PM on April 18, 2007


Wait wait wait......blacks have penises?
posted by Senor Cardgage at 12:37 PM on April 18, 2007


Any other mirrors? I don't think Devilducky is going to last much longer...
posted by Brian James at 12:43 PM on April 18, 2007


I guess senduit has a bandwidth limit, cause I set the expiration date to a week... I've still got the original .flv and the .mp4 if someone wants to provide hosting or a seed.
posted by nathancaswell at 12:45 PM on April 18, 2007


EB,

you completely avoided the point that many people brought up that completely undercuts your argument: That this would be just as hilarious if read by a different ethnicity. The one line that could have possible racial connotation is the "shrimp at long john silvers" line, but the rest could be read by a young british woman and her mother and still be hilarious.

Until you address that point your whole argument is reaching. Additionally, don't argue that it's simply the way she talks, because as others have pointed out she's obviously well educated and it's more her comedic timing as well as her enunciation of the word "PEEENUS" every five seconds. That and the fact you can tell at some points she's reliving past experiences.

comic fucking gold
posted by slapshot57 at 12:52 PM on April 18, 2007


EB,

you completely avoided the point that many people brought up that completely undercuts your argument: That this would be just as hilarious if read by a different ethnicity. The one line that could have possible racial connotation is the "shrimp at long john silvers" line, but the rest could be read by a young british woman and her mother and still be hilarious.

Until you address that point your whole argument is reaching. Additionally, don't argue that it's simply the way she talks, because as others have pointed out she's obviously well educated and it's more her comedic timing as well as her enunciation of the word "PEEENUS" every five seconds. That and the fact you can tell at some points she's reliving past experiences.

comic fucking gold
posted by slapshot57 at 12:52 PM on April 18, 2007


I can't believe that it has to be spelled out in academic terms why this video is funny.

Would someone kindly elucidate the full social/ethnic ramifications of "a rectum full of sperm" for me, please?
posted by hypocritical ross at 1:00 PM on April 18, 2007


Well, ethnic ramifications would include that the darker one's skin, the easier it may be to visually discern that one's rectum is, indeed, full of sperm; although the effect might be limited by the relatively liquid nature of human semen, the degree of dilation of the sphincter muscle, and the speed and thoroughness of said semen's removal. Socially, I would be hard pressed to think of any, although it might be advisable not to speak at length about one's anal adventures with persons who might not be interested in hearing about such escapades.

Any questions?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:31 PM on April 18, 2007


I'm thinking there should be some tribute videos appearing in the very near future.
posted by well_balanced at 1:56 PM on April 18, 2007


EB,

I read the transcripts before I saw her. The transcripts are hilarious!
posted by j-urb at 1:56 PM on April 18, 2007


To reiterate what slapshot57 said, I haven't seen the vid. I did, however, read the transcriptions (kudos on that btw.) At no point (I'm a UK Caucasian) did i think LOL crazy black woman. That vernacular can span many ethnicities (white South Londoners, for a crude example). I didnt even think "black" while i was reading it. I thought it was funny, a little crazy perhaps and, curiously, illuminating.

The calls of racism in this thread are completely unfounded.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 1:57 PM on April 18, 2007


goodnews: that pretty much covers it.

Although if you'd care to expound on the comparative worth of said semen-filled rectum when put next to, say, a $2.99 shrimp dinner at Long John Silvers, I'd be all ears.
posted by hypocritical ross at 1:59 PM on April 18, 2007


Seriously, or just straight up Southern United States accent.

(NOT MASON-DIXON LINE-IST)
posted by nathancaswell at 2:00 PM on April 18, 2007


Well, I think one can safely say that intrinsically speaking she's not 'Crazy Black Woman, Exhibit A'. She definitely knows what she's doing, has a point (don't let sexual attraction get in way of reason!), and has any twitterers in the audience by the short and curlies here. Joke's on them. I guess what I'm trying to say is that to the extent that her shtick is amusing, she probably knows she's being over-the-top, right?

("Step away from the overthink and no-one gets hurt!")
posted by Firas at 2:02 PM on April 18, 2007


“I thought it was funny, a little crazy perhaps and, curiously, illuminating.”—ubanwhaleshark

Me, too. My argument was never that there is no humor in this that's not racially-related.

My argument, in a nutshell, is that a commenter's decision to describe this woman's state-of-mind in this vernacular—“cuz she doesn't want you puttin' no whammies on her head”—is indicative of the general response to this video here on MeFi and that a large portion of how greatly amusing people are finding this is related to race. This is, right now, by far the most favorited thread. The reaction in this thread is that this is one of the funniest things people have ever seen.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 2:04 PM on April 18, 2007


When EB says The appearance of racism is never a trivial thing and the reflexive defense of “I know my own mind, I'm not being racist, and you're being hypersensitive” is often proven to be weak and even more often proven to be beside the point. Being tone-deaf to the appearance of racism is a sort of soft racism that is part of the problem.

I think:

Dude, you need to get laid.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 2:12 PM on April 18, 2007


“Dude, you need to get laid.”

You'll get no argument from me there. *sigh*
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 2:15 PM on April 18, 2007 [2 favorites]


Dude, anyone who thinks this is funny because the woman is black is an idiot. I don't think anyone was thinking that until YOU brought it up. And if you're trying to imply that I'm a racist because I posted this or because I wrote what she said, well then, up yours.
posted by waitingtoderail at 2:17 PM on April 18, 2007


I apologize for upsetting you. The topic can be upsetting and it can be difficult raising it without while avoiding offense.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 2:21 PM on April 18, 2007


I don't think anyone was thinking that until YOU brought it up.

In EB's (sort of) defense, I figured someone would manage to take offense at the vernacular-ized transcription, but only because, when writing screenplays, I often go back and forth about whether writing accents into dialogue is helpful or distracting.
posted by nathancaswell at 2:23 PM on April 18, 2007


I think you're the kind of person who projects their own inner feelings onto others.
posted by waitingtoderail at 2:24 PM on April 18, 2007


I figured someone would manage to take offense at the vernacular-ized transcription

Read the portion up until the part about the shrimp plate. That's what I transcribed. If anything, I went too far in cleaning up the vernacular.
posted by waitingtoderail at 2:26 PM on April 18, 2007


EB wrote: ...is indicative of the general response to this video here on MeFi and that a large portion of how greatly amusing people are finding this is related to race.

EB, can you show me, apart from the vernacular issue (which is a non-issue imo), prior to your callout, where mefites are finding this amusing because its related to race, because i missed it? If this was a radio clip and we had no idea of the ethnicity of the speaker, would this callout matter to you as much? I ask cos i'm interested. I'm not deliberately trying to bait you.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 2:31 PM on April 18, 2007


Just so you know, this is still up on Beware of the Blog.
posted by waitingtoderail at 2:39 PM on April 18, 2007


I'm hosting a local copy of the video on my website. To ensure there's no complaining about a self link, you'll have to go to my profile to find my URL.
posted by jeversol at 2:39 PM on April 18, 2007


You guys really, really didn't need to include spellings and whatnot to reproduce the vernacular

You must hate Mark Twain and Zora Neale Husrton


The difference is this: closely reading MT and Zora Neale Hurston will reveal that they make two choices when writing in a voice with dialect. The first is that they only use spellings to indicate words which actually sound different depending on the speaker. A lot of Standard English speakers still drop the 'g' in 'ing' endings, yet rarely do you pick up the newspaper and read that your senator says 'our state can be proud of bein' the first in the nation to...[whatever]'. Both Twain and Hurston actually reproduce the dialect and voice of all speakers, of all ethnicities. It's not at all easy, and if, as a writer, you can't do it and don't have the ear to recognize all deviations from Standard English, you really shouldn't try. Transcribers of orla history interviewers face this problem all the time, and the industry standard is to write the words the person said in standard spelling, not to try to replicate the way those words sounded to you. Most of us are just not good enough linguists to do that fairly or accurately.

On the other hand, I think EB has a point, but so does everyone else. At least part of the humor here derives from the vernacular English we're hearing. And when we laugh, we are laughing in part at the added humor of vocal expression that is different from standard; and yes, there is a superiority in that. However, I don't think it's necessarily racist. Dialect as a source of humor cuts across all racial lines. Hee Haw? Flo on 'Alice?' Major Winchester on M*A*S*H*? The cabbies in Taxi? Goober on The Andy Griffith Show? Kristen Wiig on SNL doing the Target cashier? In a mass media culture, non-standard English pronunciation means one thing: an insularity, shelteredness, or lack of sophistication. It signifies belonging to a local culture which is having stronger influences than mass-media dominant culture.

As a folklorist, I don't think it's necessarily racist to recognize that. Vernacular does exist, and ethnic and regional dialects do exist. They are branded as humorous by those seeking to play up their own sophistication and demonstrate their ability to pass, their acceptance in the dominant culture. That's why people who talk funny are funny to us. In this instance, I don't think people were reacting specifically to the presenter's race in finding her presentation funny; among other things, they were reacting to the strong dialect. Language another way of being other, but it's not specific to blackness, it's about the difference between this style and most TV presentation styles.

That [NOT RACIST] said, I do think that when people try to transcribe the sound of a dialect rather than just recording the words spoken, or attempt to replicate the dialect using their own words, without really understanding the dialect as a speaker themselves, that is bordering on judgements specifically about race, because it starts to draw on uninformed stereotypes about what that dialect is supposed to sound like, and also because it's applied unfairly and inconsistently - only to certain words and certain speakers.

And I thought this was bizarre, thought-provoking, and very funny.
posted by Miko at 2:41 PM on April 18, 2007 [10 favorites]


Her vernacular is amusing to the largely white MetaFilter audience because it is unfamiliar

yeah, because it's impossible to operate a computer and know black people in real life ... the vernacular she uses isn't as extreme as others'

actually, the funniest thing about it for me is that she reminds me of someone i know
posted by pyramid termite at 3:10 PM on April 18, 2007


There are lots of juxtapositions here that are fascinating and funny, some related to class, some related to sex, and some related to race no doubt. Comedy gold indeed. It's complicated and the context (attractive and articulate black woman on a home-made cable access show, co-opting the conventions of talk show host and television expert, speaking almost surreally frankly about her theories on sex and feminism, posted on YouTube--to the delight of what community exactly?) is enough to launch a media studies PhD dissertation, so why is it stupid to look under the rug? In other words, why are so many people jumping all up on EB like damn jackrabbits?

Everyone is always so desperate to claim that they're not racist that I sometimes think we miss the forest for the trees. You can "not be a racist" but still find yourself caught in complicated issues of race, especially when we laugh, since that is where we most extend our ideas of what is permissible (ask Don Imus). I thought this was hilarious but it doesn't ruin it for me to also consider issues that might make me uncomfortable.
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 3:37 PM on April 18, 2007 [4 favorites]


Sir, you have not missed much.
posted by freebird at 3:58 PM on April 18, 2007


I was just typing out the words as they sounded? It is a transcript, after all. I see the same thing done all the time when someone transcripts an interview. Something in the paper usually excludes all the "um'ing" and "ah'ing" that most people include when they speak, doesn't mean they don't say it.

Also? Not white.
posted by liquorice at 4:09 PM on April 18, 2007


OK, it's back on YouTube.
posted by imperium at 4:24 PM on April 18, 2007


You people SERIOUSLY can overthink a plate of beans. The song is no joke. I'm SO glad I posted this. Jesus Christ.
posted by waitingtoderail at 4:44 PM on April 18, 2007


Boy, y'all and your plates of beans.

EB, I think you are completely overthinking this. There may be one or two racist folks in the thread, and there may not be, but you're using that to paint the majority of folks in this thread as racist is regrettable.

(And I'm glad I didn't help transcribe, as I was considering, because when I transcribe stuff, I always put in the "um"s and "ah"s and "gonna"s, and thus I'd be the target of foundationless accusations as well)
posted by Bugbread at 4:56 PM on April 18, 2007


Well said, sirmissalot. Very well said.

I was just typing out the words as they sounded?

With all respect due in light of the amount of work you put in: No, you're absolutely not. Almost every word in every sentence would look different if we actually typed out words the way they sound. You'd be doing something akin to linguistic transcription, with diacritics, in that case. The vowels and the words beginning "wh" would look different. Many other consonants would be dropped where they were elided. Instead, what you're doing is applying conventions of written approximations of dialect to the transcription on certain words where you most expect to see them or where you hear them most strongly.

In this case:

So if she can’t get to him she’ll slip him in, and then that’s where the jackrabbits and all the different-size penises and dildos come in because she is tryin’ to… she’s rememberin’ and tryin’ to recapture that experience, and that’s why I said you don’t let want to everyone hit that bottom, you don’t want to let everybody spank you and talk to you all kind of ways because women, they… especially when their man pullin’ back and won’t give you the penis no more, women will be all in the bed at night, tryin’ to sleep, tossin’ and turnin’, they dreamin’ about it...


...why does it seem necessary to make a point of the dropped g? To accurately write the way she sounded, you'd have to write a word like "size" as "sahs," 'recapture' as something like "recaptchua," "everybody" as "ever'bahdy". It's not as though all the other words are pronounced in RP. But instead, some words have been transcribed with very heavy markers of different diction - and yes, that may draw ion and activate prejudices in writer and reader. That's why we don't do it in newspapers and generally avoid spelling changes in academic transcription.

I agree that the hard part is that most people have never before thought about transcription as something that can convey values and prejudices. As sir_missalot says, it is uncomfortable to notice parts of our reaction. The video can still be funny for all the reasons he mentioned, and not least because it probably trips off our anxieties about race and sex and class and family like crazy. But EB is not out of his mind when he suggests that unconscious prejudice can be embedded in the attempted transcription of acomplicated dialect.

This article is a really awesome one on the challenges of transcription, in that it's all about how "transcription is a powerful act of representation. " It discusses the ways in which the transcriber might project his or her attitudes onto the participant's utterances unknowingly, and argues that whenever transcription is part of research, decisions about how to transcribe should be made a subject of reflection and included in the project narrative as an explicit part of the study structure.
Ebonics, or African American Vernacular English (AAVE), is any of the nonstandard varieties of English spoken by some African-American people throughout the world (American Heritage Dictionary 2000). While the media, linguists and educators have debated whether AAVE is improper English or the markings of culture, for the qualitative researcher the issue is largely how to transcribe AAVE (Green 2002). In our study, the most common example was the use of “wif dat” rather than “with that.” Other examples included “ax” instead of “ask” and “bof uv em” instead of “both of them.”

In our study, transcription of AAVE was initially handled naturalistically, depicting it verbatim rather than in SAE. During our reflection sessions, however, the appropriateness of this strategy was debated. On the one hand, if a naturalized approach was adopted, during member check, participants could become offended that they were represented in an insensitive way. On the other hand, if we used a more denaturalized method and “cleaned up” the transcript of AAVE, valuable data might be lost. During reflection we asked ourselves if the transcript would look different if the participant was the transcriber. That is, would they write “wif dat” or “with that?” We wondered if our research was respectful. Equally, we wondered whose perspective was being honored. While Schegloff (1997) argues that naturalism always honors the participant, this assumes that the participant hears his/her voice just as the transcriber does or is comfortable when they do not. We also needed to consider the potential influence of naturalized transcription on research team members. As stated earlier, we found that when AAVE was handled naturalistically some team members made assumptions about education level and socioeconomic status of African-American participants, resulting in potentially biased data analysis. Therefore, we had twin concerns about representation and suitability to our research design.
This may all seem largely beside the point, but folklorists, fieldworkers, historians, and social scientists deal with this question all the time, analyzing videos and recordings just like this one. We're humans too, and we're always filtering everything we see and hear through our own lenses of enculturation. We can never assume our ears are neutral, but we can aim for the most value-free representation of what people say by giving them the same benefit of the doubt I get even though I might say "agaynst" where other people "against". The discussion of dialect has been an interesting part of the group's response to this quick 9 minutes of video.

Try the beans. They're delcious!
posted by Miko at 5:15 PM on April 18, 2007 [2 favorites]


A lot of Standard English speakers still drop the 'g' in 'ing' endings, yet rarely do you pick up the newspaper and read that your senator says 'our state can be proud of bein' the first in the nation to...[whatever]'. Both Twain and Hurston actually reproduce the dialect and voice of all speakers, of all ethnicities.

O--My---Gawd! I'm tewtally eatin' up these beans.

The function of a newspaper is largely reportage; the facts are conveyed with a neutral voice. Twain and Hurston had greater freedom with style, and they chose to phonetically spelled out how those character would actually sound to reveal more about them: where they're from, if they're confused, if they're mumbling, drunk, sarcastic, YELLING. It makes for better drama, or comedy---that's why Americans have to attempt British accents if they reference Monty Python jokes. This woman's southern drawl got more intense because she was getting worked up, and it was the fact that she was getting worked up and breathless that made it so damn funny. We conveyed that she dropped her 'g's to convey the animated and totally candid way she spoke. I contend that we'd have done the same with a southern white woman if she delivered her story with the same intimate gusto.

Then again, I've said out loud that Barack Obama is articulate, so go figure.
posted by tula at 5:35 PM on April 18, 2007


Dear GOD, NO! I just came here to send this link to all my friends and the video appears to be gone! Even the most recent youtube link is dead. NOOOOOOOOOoooooo!

If anyone has a working link or (ahem!) personal copy, please email me.
posted by ColdChef at 6:14 PM on April 18, 2007


ColdChef, it's still at Beware of the Blog.
posted by maudlin at 6:23 PM on April 18, 2007



Is she single?
posted by jason's_planet at 6:25 PM on April 18, 2007


Maybe that was what the transcribers were aiming for. But Twain and Hurston did it really well.

Where Twain's concerned, other writers of his time tried to use dialect, and it worked far less well for them. Twain's dialect work is exceptionally good, but few could manage to do it as well, and reading them today is like reading a minstrel show script. Those other writers failed to create accurate written renditions of dialect. Both Hurston and Twain lived among the communities that they wrote about and knew them with great intimacy, and that shows in their writing; the vernacular English in Twain is a marvel in the subtleties it shows between classes and types, Westerners and Easterners, young and old, white and black, religious and reprobate. He had excellent control over his use of vernacular, and was really just a literary genius with a fantastic ear. His close study of humanity served him well here, and what's more, it wasn't haphazard. The foreword to Huckleberry Finn contains this 'Explanatory':
IN this book a number of dialects are used, to wit: the Missouri negro dialect; the extremest form of the backwoods Southwestern dialect; the ordinary "Pike County" dialect; and four modified varieties of this last. The shadings have not been done in a hap- hazard fashion, or by guesswork; but painstakingly, and with the trustworthy guidance and support of personal familiarity with these several forms of speech.

I make this explanation for the reason that without it many readers would suppose that all these characters were trying to talk alike and not succeeding.
And despite all this attention, there are still elements of Twain's dialect writing which contain inconsistencies. STill, he did it better than anyone.

Hurston, for her part, was a trained anthropolgist who studied field ethnography and worked with Franz Boas.

I wouldn't say the MetaFilter transcription corps has quite the background or the chops of either of those two. I'd say the transcribersattempted to convey something about her speech, but also that what was conveyed may not always be what they meant to convey. Again, a more neutral transcription would not have left that question of intent open. If you can't do it extremely well, the best policy is probably not to do it.

In addition, newspapers aren't always conveying facts with a neutral voice. A lot of times they're quoting people -- as in, transcribing their words. You don't re-spell people's words when you're quoting them. Or even quotin' 'em.

Knowhuttimean?
posted by Miko at 6:28 PM on April 18, 2007


maudlin: Thankyouthankyouthankyou.
posted by ColdChef at 6:30 PM on April 18, 2007


I made a quick little remix. Enjoy.
posted by c:\awesome at 6:51 PM on April 18, 2007


Can you all who are complaining about the transcription or the transcribers please read the FIRST section of the transcription and PLEASE tell me what you think I was "trying to convey about her speech?" or how I was trying to "render her dialect," or, more importantly, what was incorrect about it? Right from the top until the part about the $2.99 shrimp plate. What, this?

and this man won't even buy you some shrimp from Long John Silver's - and what, that plate $2.99?

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

I think you're all talking out your collective asses and think you're somehow smarter or more evolved than other people. Well, since you don't know a goddamned thing about us, I REALLY think you should STFU.

How can I have this entire thread removed? It pains me to know it even exists.
posted by waitingtoderail at 6:51 PM on April 18, 2007


I think it's funny because she says penis.
posted by c:\awesome at 6:55 PM on April 18, 2007


How can I have this entire thread removed? It pains me to know it even exists.

You did good, buddy, you brought the fucking laughs big time and completely made my night last night. Some of us are little less uptight about the potential ramifications of our reproducing manifestations of black vernacular because we are actively and regularly engaged with the black communities where we live and, knowing this, we could really give a fuck about the prevailing opinion on Metafilter with respect to the issue.
posted by The Straightener at 7:18 PM on April 18, 2007 [2 favorites]


She didn't make me laugh, because I found her way of talking quite difficult to make out and actually horrifying to think maybe she talks like that with her mouth snapping open so wide all the time, braying like a hungry farm animal. EB, none of the black people I have known throughout my life talk anyhing like that, but then I live in an igloo, and I don't know if that kind of talking is at all common elsewhere. Jeeves, with those words, now, that made me laugh. It is indeed complicated and lots of ways all this mess can be funny. Anyone can hoot, howl and grimace like that briefly but how she keeps it up is astonishing.
posted by Listener at 7:23 PM on April 18, 2007


Aw, come on now. I did read the entire transcription and thought it quite good, I just piped in to support EB's point, which was essentially correct. And I still think this was a great post; the video was hilarious.

and this man won't even buy you some shrimp from Long John Silver's - and what, that plate $2.99?


I have absolutely no problem with that. You transcribed exactly what she said, which is what I am recommending as a good transcription method that will generally allow for the greatest range of interpretation. My sole critique of the transcription is the use of in' where ing is meant. Changing the spelling to indicate that the hearer thinks the speech is nonstandard is kind of a big deal when you peel back the layers.

ecause we are actively and regularly engaged with the black communities where we live

Why are you presuming I'm not? Why are you presuming I'm not black? Are you sure these are correct assumptions? Do we play Blacker Than Thou now?

Good God, it's not all about being black. Her accent is a single regional and ethnic accent. Like the one you have -- whomever you may be. Don't we all deserve the respect not to have people invent nonstandard spellings of our words?
posted by Miko at 7:29 PM on April 18, 2007


“Some of us are little less uptight about the potential ramifications of our reproducing manifestations of black vernacular because we are actively and regularly engaged with the black communities where we live and, knowing this, we could really give a fuck about the prevailing opinion on Metafilter with respect to the issue.”

That's a very obtuse way of saying “I have friends who are black”. Good luck with that defense.

I'm curious: have you sent an email with a link to this video to anyone in that black community with which you are actively and regularly engaged, including a note saying:
OMG! This is the most hilarious thing I've seen, ever! I especially love the part where she says “she spread her legs wide and she start screaming, sayin’, ‘yeah daddy, that’s it,’ or she might start cursin’ or screaming out all types of profanities ‘cause he doesn’t hit the bottom, and now her mind – she insane, her mind ain’t good because the penis done ejaculated all in her brain.” Wow! Maybe someone been puttin' whammies on her head!
If so, good luck with that, too. You'll need it.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 7:34 PM on April 18, 2007


has anyone mentioned she has a MySpace page?
posted by j-urb at 7:48 PM on April 18, 2007


Wait, I'm confused. . . what about a rectum full of shrimp?
posted by dgaicun at 7:49 PM on April 18, 2007


I think you're all talking out your collective asses and think you're somehow smarter or more evolved than other people. Well, since you don't know a goddamned thing about us, I REALLY think you should STFU.

How can I have this entire thread removed? It pains me to know it even exists.


It was a great video. Some of us actually did get the joke and enjoyed it immensely.

Don't let the politically correct get you down.
posted by jason's_planet at 7:50 PM on April 18, 2007


...and don't think you can't get the joke and also think critically about your own and others' reaction.

Thinking critically is the antithesis of political correctness.
posted by Miko at 8:09 PM on April 18, 2007


Okay, I give up. No more transcribing for me. But waitingtoderail, I thought the link was the funnies, so don't let any of this other stuff get you down.

I'm not black or white or American which is why all of this ebonics talk is just really confusing. I drop the 'ing' when I speak so I never saw it as a reflection of race.
posted by liquorice at 8:13 PM on April 18, 2007


Lets all shut the fuck up now. Seriously.
posted by nathancaswell at 8:19 PM on April 18, 2007


FO RIZZLE!!!
posted by nathancaswell at 8:19 PM on April 18, 2007


I think somebody may have hit my bottom.
posted by Miko at 8:26 PM on April 18, 2007


Wait, I'm confused. . . what about a rectum full of shrimp?

\me hoists aloft the jjg-signal
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:30 PM on April 18, 2007


“I think somebody may have hit my bottom.”

Do you find yourself at night tossing and turning and out of breath? Is your blood pressure up? If so, you're probably worrying about your man rationing it out elsewhere.

Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from the commercials “Doughnuts and Happiness” and “Ten Easy Steps to Happy Humps”. I'm here to tell you about a fantastic new product that will have you sleeping with a huge smile on your face every night. It's called The JackRabit™…
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:37 PM on April 18, 2007 [2 favorites]


has anyone mentioned she has a MySpace page?

Yes.
posted by ericb at 9:42 PM on April 18, 2007


Someone else reposted the video to YouTube.
posted by jason's_planet at 11:03 PM on April 18, 2007


EB- mefi generally falls into the category of the "white liberal"- liberal until required to consider his or her self. I think Dave Chappelle had it right when he figured out that what he thought he was doing funny, wasn't what the crowd was laughing at AND that the big problem was -they- didn't know why that was wrong either. :(
posted by yeloson at 1:26 AM on April 19, 2007


THERE IS MORE, this time as a "Pussy Pilot," her costume for the entire month of October!
posted by blasdelf at 2:57 AM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


You couldn't find a better comparison. Just like EB, Chapelle read minds to tell others they were laughing at something that he thought was funny but for the "wrong reason":
He was taping a sketch about magic pixies that embody stereotypes about the races... Chappelle thought the sketch was funny, the kind of thing his friends would laugh at. But at the taping, one spectator, a white man, laughed particularly loud and long. His laughter struck Chappelle as wrong... “When he laughed, it made me uncomfortable,” says Chappelle. “As a matter of fact, that was the last thing I shot before I told myself I gotta take fucking time out after this. Because my head almost exploded.
This is incoherent. Chapelle had a nervous breakdown. EB is just doing the standard white lib status thing. Antiracist one-upsmanship is always a cheap way for whitey to feel 'above the crowd', whether he has a valid point and evidence or not. Coz' there will always be other status seekers on the sidelines ready to pat you on the butt in their own attempt to climb the latter.
posted by dgaicun at 3:26 AM on April 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


Welp, I could buy that Chapelle felt Bamboozled, but I don't think that's true about these ladies. I'm sticking by "outreach" and schtick.
posted by lysdexic at 4:55 AM on April 19, 2007


blasdelf, fuck me, that's twice the awesome. Anyone saying the hilarity is unintentional after watching that video is crazy. "I'm in pussy control, I'm a pussy pilot!"
posted by Firas at 5:00 AM on April 19, 2007


Wait, I'm confused. . . what about a rectum full of shrimp?

or corncobs ... or sticks ... it would explain some of the humorless puritanism in this thread
posted by pyramid termite at 5:07 AM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Somebody else's transcription. (Yeah, this won't end well.)
posted by BaxterG4 at 5:44 AM on April 19, 2007


I'm curious: have you sent an email with a link to this video to anyone in that black community with which you are actively and regularly engaged, including a note saying:
OMG! This is the most hilarious thing I've seen, ever! I especially love the part where she says


Yes, I did. Technically, one of them is a white woman married to a black man with 3 biracial children. It also was mailed to other black friends of mine-and every single person thought it was hilarious. One friend wants her own cable access show in Indy now. So, a white person could find this funny, send it to her black friends and the world didn't implode on itself.
posted by hollygoheavy at 6:26 AM on April 19, 2007


EB, saying someone is racist isn't a trump card like you think it is. A smear tactic like that only works in the presence of corroborating evidence.

That's why Imus got canned. The remark prompted the investigation, and the investigation uncovered plenty of corroboration.

There's little corroboration here that spellin' words in the vernacular is evidence of normally carefully hidden racism. If you really care, why don't you go digging through waitingtoderail, licquorice, and jenii's posting history for supporting evidence and let us all know who the racists in our group are?

/not holding my breath waiting
posted by Mr. Gunn at 7:52 AM on April 19, 2007


I asked a black lady if it was ok to laugh at this and she said it was fine, so we're ok here guys.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:04 AM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


There's little corroboration here that spellin' words in the vernacular is evidence of normally carefully hidden racism

Did you read the link about transcription I posted?

I'm not calling anyone a racist, but it's worth reading.
posted by Miko at 8:59 AM on April 19, 2007


DevilDucky.com is very fast, has plenty of bandwidth and is a solid mirror for this video. Not sure what the concerns are. ;)

http://www.devilducky.com/media/60668/
posted by jaxon at 9:37 AM on April 19, 2007


I'm curious: have you sent an email with a link to this video to anyone in that black community with which you are actively and regularly engaged, including a note saying:
OMG! This is the most hilarious thing I've seen, ever! I especially love the part where she says “she spread her legs wide and she start screaming, sayin’, ‘yeah daddy, that’s it,’ or she might start cursin’ or screaming out all types of profanities ‘cause he doesn’t hit the bottom, and now her mind – she insane, her mind ain’t good because the penis done ejaculated all in her brain.” Wow! Maybe someone been puttin' whammies on her head!
If so, good luck with that, too. You'll need it.


Yeah, I did play it for my black co-worker, whom I spend 40 hours a week in very close contact with, dedicated to hard work in the black community (which is a lot different than having friends), which you still have expressed no knowledge of or experience with, despite being the self-annointed uptight protector of it from anything vaguely humorous. In fact, I couldn't wait to show it to her as I was watching it. Btw, she thought that bitch was craaaaazy (truth).

So have a big, fat mouthful of sperm, NO SHRIMP FOR YOU TONIGHT.
posted by The Straightener at 9:58 AM on April 19, 2007


“EB, saying someone is racist isn't a trump card like you think it is. A smear tactic like that only works in the presence of corroborating evidence.”

and

“EB is just doing the standard white lib status thing. Antiracist one-upsmanship is always a cheap way for whitey to feel 'above the crowd', whether he has a valid point and evidence or not. Coz' there will always be other status seekers on the sidelines ready to pat you on the butt in their own attempt to climb the latter.”

On the other hand, maybe I just feel uneasy that there are probably racist undercurrents in a bunch of white people going nuts over this video—an unease that was validated, I think, by the choices in transcription and some other things. I voiced my objection/concern in a mild manner and didn't call anyone a “racist”. The highly-defensive reaction was the only reason I elaborated.

The few comments like those from Firas and Bugbread are far more persuasive to me than the more numerous ones like those above. It's really weird to me that this whole argument could be about, say, Imus's remarks, and most of the responses disagreeing with my point would be exactly the same: you're crazy, it's just funny, you're being stupidly PC, you're just trying for status by playing the “racism” card. When you know it's about racism, those types of defensive comments just seem pathetic. So why the lack of self-awareness and eagerness to employ such cliches? I know that were our positions reversed—and they have been—I'd be inclined to say such things but realize, before I did, just exactly how much I'll sound like the typical unwitting racist. Then I'd think, “hmm”. I know, because this has happened to me.

As jonmc so often likes to point out (though in more of a “what are you gonna do about it?” way), almost all of us are racist to some extent or another. I wasn't and am not interested in attaching the scarlet letter “R” to anyone except willful and egregious racists—which describes no one here. The only person in this thread whose name I can recall among those I've been critcal of is ZachsMind because of his choice of wording—and I think it was more of an unfortunate choice that belies some unconscious and mostly mild attitudes that many of us share. I'm not trying to “smear” anyone. I'm not calling anyone a racist, either, not in the sense that gets everyone's blood pressure up.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:52 AM on April 19, 2007


EB, in two recent threads about rather hot-button issues(this one and the abortion one), I've found you to have very strong opinions on the subject at hand. However, your strength of conviction doesn't seem to match up with an equally strong ability to explain why you believe what you do, and how you came to feel so strongly.

You might feel like I'm deliberately picking on you because of this, but I'm not. It's just that people with unexamined strong opinions scare me.

Do you understand what I'm trying to get across here? All you've got is "there are probably racist undercurrents" based on "choices in transcription and some other things". Do you you feel like you're on the deck of the Titanic politely mentioning that there are little bits of ice poking above the surface?

That's what I call the "Iceberg" theory of racism, and I think it sucks. It implies that we're all racist, some of us just do a better job of hiding it than others, and it's the job of people who hold to this theory to try to analyze everybody else's language to see if they can find us out. That sucks.

Do you understand that even Imus's remarks, in and of themselves, weren't "that which should never be uttered". They were just a convenient handhold for all the people he's pissed off over the years who wanted to tear him down. If it had been Tony Dungy or Lovie Smith who said it, people would have forgotten about it before the vibrations died out. If it had been my white-ass Southern Republican mom who said it, the same thing would have happened. They'd have been given the benefit of the doubt, whereas all Imus did was expose a chink in the armor to people who already had the knives out for him.

Let's not get distracted by my glib characterizations above, however disagreeable you may find them. What I want you to realize is that the issues we're faced with today are complex and subtle. There's little room for banned phrases and bright lines, and I think we as a nation are smart enough to consider context, whether it's a baby in a womb or a foot in a mouth.
posted by Mr. Gunn at 5:22 PM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


“However, your strength of conviction doesn't seem to match up with an equally strong ability to explain why you believe what you do, and how you came to feel so strongly.

You might feel like I'm deliberately picking on you because of this, but I'm not. It's just that people with unexamined strong opinions scare me.”


Just because you feel I've not explained myself sufficiently to you doesn't mean that I'm unable to explain myself or that my opinions are unexamined. It might mean, for example, you're not paying attention. Or that you're arguing with a strawman devised in your imagination. It might also mean that you're engaging with me in a way that tells me I'd be wasting my time.

That said—because I do believe I've explained myself in both these threads to about the same amount as the community norm—it's also the case that I've had to learn the hard way in my years here at MetaFilter that 90% of the time it's a waste of effort to put a lot of work into an argument. We're (and I include myself) not that motivated to have respectful and productive discussions; and most of the time detailed arguments are ignored, they're often not even read. Miko, for example, made a detailed argument in this thread, with citations and examples, and it was almost entirely ignored. It had no effect on the argument. In both these threads I've started to write much lengthier comments making very detailed arguments and I've stopped myself and erased them, either replacing them with something much pithier, or not posting them at all. In both cases, as far as I'm concerned, anyone with good-will and who is truly interested can glean from my comments in each of these threads whatever it is that I wanted to say. If, in some cases, I only alude to arguments beneath my assertions? Well, the allusion is there and anyone interested can see it.

The simple truth of the matter is that my very first comment in this thread, a short objection to the affected vernacular in the transcription, was probably the only really effective comment I made. It's probably the only one most people paid much attention to. It probably did make some people think twice about all this, which was my point. Everything after that is just another Internet argument, with people keeping score and all the rest of the sordid conventions. I had every intention of staying away from such an argument after my first comment. Alas, I'm just not strong-willed. In your view, that's just a statement of opinion without backup. Well, yes. Welcome to discussion on the Internet. I completely agree that it should be more substantive than that. But, unfortunately, even when it tries to be, it usually fails. I prefer honestly setting my sites lower over the complicated dance of these long and almost always fruitless arguments. We do have productive and good discussion in threads now and then. Unfortunately, it seems that a requirement is that most people either be in agreement or that no one is upset or writes provocatively. That happens rarely.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 6:10 PM on April 19, 2007


Honest to god, I'd been meaning to watch this for days (with this many favourites how could it not be great?) so last night the missus and I parked up in front of the monitor and watched it. Neither of us found it that funny - she commented on how the woman was "too feminist" (ha!) and I just didn't really see where the hilarity comes from - is it the pronunciation that tickles people or what?
posted by longbaugh at 2:27 AM on April 20, 2007


in other news, humor can be offensive. film at 11.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 7:44 AM on April 20, 2007


Dick'll make you slap somebody.
posted by NortonDC at 9:26 AM on April 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


There's no reason for me to continue arguing this, so I won't.

Cue 8 or so more comments arguing about this.
posted by chunking express at 12:12 PM on April 20, 2007


Boston crab?
posted by moonbird at 7:54 PM on April 20, 2007


I always saw the penis as the main dish, the balls as the side dish. Anyone with me?
posted by Menomena at 12:15 AM on April 21, 2007


I think the deployment of "I showed this to a black person" as an argument in this thread is far more racist than the video.

www.blackpeopleloveus.com
posted by nasreddin at 10:11 PM on April 21, 2007


I'm pretty sure that was a joke, nasreddin.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:23 AM on April 22, 2007


No, I meant this comment:

Yeah, I did play it for my black co-worker...she thought that bitch was craaaaazy (truth).

posted by nasreddin at 1:54 PM on April 22, 2007


If anyone's still reading this, and is interested in testing something related to Mr.Gunn's 'Iceberg Theory', check this out:

https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/demo/
posted by anthill at 7:15 AM on April 26, 2007


Who knows, maybe Alexyss and her keen "Dick'll make you slap somebody" insights would have been able to spare the world from this (related...?) tragedy/farce.
posted by NortonDC at 4:29 PM on April 29, 2007


Well, you knew this was coming: the REMIX!

http://www.shakesville.com/2007/05/vagina_powerthe_remix.php
posted by bitter-girl.com at 7:03 AM on May 7, 2007


late to the party but.... black woman here. i thought this was hilarious.. (and i heard about it via an all black female email list) i even sent it to many of my black friends. yep, they thought it was funny too. someone compared it to dr. ruth in the 80s. thats it, exactly! i tend to get prickly about some of the comments i've read on mefi, but this one did not raise my racistometer up one bit.
posted by lunachic at 2:13 PM on May 10, 2007


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