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Pain free hardness
April 18, 2007 6:34 AM   Subscribe

Do you want to look hard but can't stand the needle? Detachable Tattoo Sleeves are the answer. Unfortunately, small is out of stock at the moment.
posted by tellurian (50 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
Doublish.
posted by ND¢ at 6:40 AM on April 18, 2007


Do you want your ass beat down by people who actually ARE hard when your wanna-be ass shows up in a place where people actually can stand the needle hang out? Detachable Tattoo Sleeves are the answer.
posted by spicynuts at 6:45 AM on April 18, 2007


I got a pair at Tescos right before Halloween.

Hours of cheap entertainment.
posted by Katemonkey at 6:50 AM on April 18, 2007


The funny part is, a whole buncha people have real tattoos that look enough like this that they were able to come up with six easily recognizable "styles".

I have a few real tattoos, as do many of my friends. I don't imagine any of us getting pissed that someone would wear fake ones, though.
posted by Cookiebastard at 6:58 AM on April 18, 2007


Accepted ND¢. Beat my ass down spicynuts. I came from the perspective of 1) people I know, knowing I didn't have tattoos, and then I suddenly turned up with them, would go 'WIMP' when I was exposed, and 2) people who didn't know me and when when my fakeness was exposed would go, 'LAME'.
On preview: Hours of cheap entertainment.
On preview, preview, Cookiebastard: I don't imagine any of us getting pissed that someone would wear fake ones, though. Maybe not pissed, but derisive to a huge degree maybe.
posted by tellurian at 7:07 AM on April 18, 2007


Has there ever been a more decisive way to say to the world "I am a total knob"? We are truly living in the twenty-first century.
posted by Divine_Wino at 7:14 AM on April 18, 2007


Has there ever been a more decisive way to say to the world "I am a total knob"?

Yes. Paying more and undergoing a painful procedure for the same dumbass look.
posted by DU at 7:17 AM on April 18, 2007 [8 favorites]


if you're at all hairy, how could these even pretend to look even slightly real?

DU - so you reckon someone is more of a knob for doing something they want to (that you think is dumb) than for wanting to look like they did something (that you think is dumb) but having to fake it because they can't/won't go through with it?
posted by russm at 7:25 AM on April 18, 2007


I'm pretty certain that these are made for jokes, pranks, costumes, etcetera. I really, really don't think that anyone would wear these expecting to be thought cool because of all their tattoos, and fearing being found out. Of course, I could be wrong, because people are stupid.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:28 AM on April 18, 2007


I'm guessing they're for holloween, etc.
posted by delmoi at 7:28 AM on April 18, 2007


hey, cool... the "tribal" ones also have kanji on 'em... schweet...
posted by russm at 7:30 AM on April 18, 2007


I could see the endless potential of wigging out family and relatives with these. Show up wearing some mock-sleeves, remove your jacket and let the gasps of disapproval and shock commence. What is joy if not to psychologically torture your loved ones needlessly?

As for any use beyond that I see none. I guess the resolution on youtube is low enough that these may pass as real if used as a costume element if you needed to create a persona for your next faux reality micro drama.
posted by Jeremy at 7:31 AM on April 18, 2007


Those detachable tattoo sleeves are way cool! What a fun idea. I want a few pairs! Would like them as stockings too.

Much less expensive versions of tattoed sleeves.

Some really nice ones and other clothing tattoo items at this site.

Whole t-shirt as well as other tattoo sleeves. More from small to x-large sizes. More. Silly other things on that site, lol. yikes.
posted by nickyskye at 7:32 AM on April 18, 2007


I think the whole t-shirt ones would look cool if there wasn't such obvious draping in the back.

Plus, how see-thru is this mesh?
posted by Iko at 7:34 AM on April 18, 2007


I am waiting for the detachable face tattoo that will allow me to live out my life long dream of wearing Judas Priest's Sad Wings of Destiny album cover all over my mug without the social and professional repurcussions that would likely follow my actually doing that.
posted by The Straightener at 7:41 AM on April 18, 2007


I'm guessing they're for holloween [sic], etc.
British people don't traditionally celebrate halloween (although this might be skewing in recent years), so I doubt that. Then again, looking at their products and services, it's hard to work out their target market. Maybe you're right.
posted by tellurian at 7:48 AM on April 18, 2007


I think that it would be cool to put them on and wear them to a festival or concert or something. People react to people in different ways based on the way they look, and I think that it would be cool to be reacted to as one who has an arm full of tatoos for an afternoon. If someone found me out and said "Hey those are fake!" I would just say "Yeah I just wanted to look like I had tatoos without actually getting them." That would be true and would not make me feel like a knob at all.
posted by ND¢ at 7:49 AM on April 18, 2007


Actually, now I come to think of it - junior/small sizes, out of stock - kids, that's their market.
posted by tellurian at 7:51 AM on April 18, 2007


I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my tattoos were missing again. This happens all the time. They're detachable.

This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave them home, when I think they're gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent them out, when I don't need em. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember what I did with them. First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find them. So I called up the place where the party was, they hadn't seen them either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'cause for some reason I leave them there sometimes. But not this time. So I told them if they pop up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either. I was starting to get desperate.

I really don't like being without my tattoos for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed, so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast. Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my tattoos lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling them. I had to buy them off him. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen. I took them home, washed them off, and put them back on. I was happy again. Complete. People sometimes tell me I should get them permanently attached, but I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having detachable tattoos.
posted by Dave Faris at 7:52 AM on April 18, 2007 [8 favorites]


Dave Faris stole my comment!

Seriously though, I want a pair of detachable tats so when I hang out with the million hipster assholes I know with sleeves I can be part of the gang too.
posted by smackwich at 7:59 AM on April 18, 2007


See I don't know any hipster assholes, but I bet that if I got some of these I could meet a bunch of them.
posted by ND¢ at 8:02 AM on April 18, 2007


so you reckon someone is more of a knob for doing something they want to (that you think is dumb) than for wanting to look like they did something (that you think is dumb) but having to fake it because they can't/won't go through with it?

I reckon someone is more of a knob for thinking they have to "earn" their body decoration by undergoing pain. Is someone who wants a certain haircut keeping it realer if the barber stabs them in the neck at the same time? Am I more of a man if, in order to get my ironic tshirt out of the closet, I have to hit my head on the wall?

Both groups want their body to look a certain way and both groups achieve that. One pays more than the other, can't undo the decision and suffers pain. Which group is the dumb one again?
posted by DU at 8:03 AM on April 18, 2007


Look, before this slides into the usual mefi I'm more judgmental than you thing, my point is that there is a certain portion of the population that expresses themselves through an affiliation with a subculture, but that affiliation is maintained by purchasing the trappings of that subculture and little else, they "dress the part." A fake tattoo sleeve is the ultimate expression of that and is, frankly, a knobbish thing to do (if it's part of a costume fine, mazel tov, that's not knobbish, but then really there's no issue).

Personally I don't have any tattoos although many of my friends do, some are wispy art nerds and some are grizzly scumbags from darkest queens, I don't have a position on tattoos, they're just things that people have. I admire the commitment and some of them can be quite beautiful. Personally I am too lazy and averse to unnecessary discomfort to get any tattoos, which makes me the most punk rock of all, by my own lights.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:05 AM on April 18, 2007 [1 favorite]


Ahh, too late on the judgmental thing. Oh well.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:06 AM on April 18, 2007


Settle.
Before I posted this I hadn't thought the concept through. But yes, this is the market - kids, and they may not as a result disfigure themselves for life. That's a good thing.
posted by tellurian at 8:14 AM on April 18, 2007


I've noticed that it's only the people that don't have tattoos that are hung-up over how much they might hurt.
posted by peeedro at 8:15 AM on April 18, 2007


Ahh, too late on the judgmental thing. Oh well.

This coming from a guy with a clip on Prince Albert.

Fess up, I can hear it jingling from all the way down here.
posted by The Straightener at 8:17 AM on April 18, 2007 [2 favorites]


I also got a magnetic bilateral ass piercing.... Shhhh only my jeweler knows for sure....
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:20 AM on April 18, 2007


a clip on Prince Albert.

I am so stealing this idea and marketing it on late-night infomercials.
posted by bashos_frog at 8:57 AM on April 18, 2007


Jeremy writes 'I could see the endless potential of wigging out family and relatives with these. Show up wearing some mock-sleeves, remove your jacket and let the gasps of disapproval and shock commence. What is joy if not to psychologically torture your loved ones needlessly?'

My sister's boyfriend wore some home for Christmas, and nearly gave his mum a heart attack - they're surprisingly convincing.

tellurian writes 'British people don't traditionally celebrate halloween (although this might be skewing in recent years), so I doubt that.'

Er, yes we do. Not on an America scale, perhaps, but it's a pretty big deal, only eclipsed by Christmas (especially in Scotland, where it's traditionally been a bigger festival than elsewhere in the UK, and in Ireland - where d'you think America got the idea from?!).
posted by jack_mo at 9:15 AM on April 18, 2007


As noted, these would be great for Halloween, practical jokes, getting your ass kicked in a bar, etc.
posted by Mister_A at 9:19 AM on April 18, 2007


Here's a great compromise: piercing! All the pain of tattoos (maybe less pain up front but the healing process is a bitch) and most of the impermanence of fake sleeves. With a little bit of vitamin E oil, you might not even get a scar when you decide to take them out.
posted by arcticwoman at 9:27 AM on April 18, 2007


Saw these a while back and they amused me endlessly. I honestly don't know the target audience for these. I suppose it's better than walking into a tattoo parlour, pointing at a picture on the wall and having it done. But, to be fair, they are quite well executed in the actual design and it's an interesting montage of every single tattoo cliche one can think of.

In this picture they look like weird bow-legged tights anyway. Heh.

And like every other post about tattoos/body modification, I am suprised by how fucking square metafilter is sometimes.
posted by slimepuppy at 9:35 AM on April 18, 2007


wow such a judgemental lot.
posted by cazoo at 9:35 AM on April 18, 2007


Yes. Paying more and undergoing a painful procedure for the same dumbass look.

it's something alot of people do that has a huge amount of personal significance and isn't about achieving a "look". showing my mom the mom tattoo i got the day before mothers day was worth more than anything else i've ever gotten (that is until i get married, or have a kid). anything i've ever gotten i spent several years considering, more time then anyone i know that's gotten hitched. consider me a dumbass if you like, but you're missing out on a hell of a lot if you look at people with such narrow framework. considering anyone a dumbass for doing something they consider significant for themselves is pretty sad. i forget not everyone leaves living life as though they're actually better then other people behind in high school.
posted by andywolf at 10:20 AM on April 18, 2007 [1 favorite]


What if you want to look like a moron? I guess this covers that too.
posted by autodidact at 10:32 AM on April 18, 2007


Okay, I just had the weirdest deja vu. I read Dave Faris' comment, and it was really really really familiar. So I started thinking that maybe it was just because of that song. But then suddenly I remembered. Stored away somewhere in the cedar chest in my living room, there's a short story I wrote in 4th grade (in the 70s). It was called "The Nose" & I made a cover for the story out of construction paper that's blue with a big cut-out of a nose under the title. The story was about how I woke up one morning and my nose had detached itself from me and it was gone. I looked everywhere for it. I believe I found it smelling stuff in a bakery or something but it ran away. In the end, it came home and returned to my face while I was sleeping.

Didn't expect to remember that while reading about detachable tattoo arms. Maybe I'll go into the cedar chest & read it later.
posted by miss lynnster at 2:33 PM on April 18, 2007


miss lynnster, sounds like you were channeling Gogol!

As for tattoo sleeves, when I directed Don Giovanni last year I had the singer playing Leporello wear a pair of them. Since the singer was a mild-mannered and somewhat square philosophy lecturer, there were audible gasps (mostly from his students) when he took off his jacket and revealed them. For that reason, I'm fond of tattoo sleeves.
posted by Pallas Athena at 2:59 PM on April 18, 2007


Whoa. I saw these on a store mannequin the other day, and I thought it was just a lame display for the hipster clothes. I had no idea the "sleeves" were intended to be worn by real people.
posted by katillathehun at 3:43 PM on April 18, 2007


>>Paying more and undergoing a painful procedure for the same dumbass look.

I'm sure you have likes and interests that others don't appreciate, DU. If someone said you were a dumbass to waste your time geeking on geometry, would you consider that a fact, or the opinion of an individual who simply doesn't know how to appreciate the subject?
posted by SaintCynr at 5:56 PM on April 18, 2007


Just get a Sharpie and write "LOVE" and "HATE" on your knuckles. Or, if you don't feel that hardcore, "FOOD" and "RENT"...
posted by Tube at 6:47 PM on April 18, 2007 [1 favorite]


If someone said you were a dumbass to waste your time geeking on geometry, would you consider that a fact, or the opinion of an individual...

I'd consider it an opinion. Are you saying that when I say tattoos look stupid that you consider it a fact?
posted by DU at 6:54 PM on April 18, 2007


I'd love to wear fake tattoos over my real tattoos.
posted by lekvar at 6:54 PM on April 18, 2007


>>I'd consider it an opinion. Are you saying that when I say tattoos look stupid that you consider it a fact?

No, I'm saying you might consider treating others as you'd like to be treated. Or is it that you encourage others to make snarky comments about your interests?

I wonder, do you you often approach tattooed people in public to communicate the great disdain you feel for their personal choices, or is it just that the internet makes it feel safe to be rude?
posted by SaintCynr at 8:34 PM on April 18, 2007


arcticwoman - I have no tatts, but none of the piercings I have hurt any more than getting a shot, and I've never had trouble with healing either... but it's nice to know I'm a wuss for only going half-way...
posted by russm at 3:46 AM on April 19, 2007


du, big difference between saying you don't like the look of something and calling someone names or considering them dumb. ones opinion, the other's being rude (to put it nicely).
posted by andywolf at 6:16 AM on April 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


i have "real" sleeves and i thought about buying the shirt just for the irony.... but they didnt have any in brown skin, or for women for that matter.
posted by lunachic at 5:26 PM on April 19, 2007


No, I'm saying you might consider treating others as you'd like to be treated. Or is it that you encourage others to make snarky comments about your interests?

When did I say I cared either way what people say about my interests?

Maybe I should have appended qualifiers: Tattoos look stupid IM(H)O IANAL YMMV KTHX. Or is even that too "rude" for you? How exactly am I allowed to express my opinion....or am I not allowed to do it at all?
posted by DU at 5:20 AM on April 20, 2007


big difference between saying you don't like the look of something and calling someone names or considering them dumb.

This entire thread is dedicated to calling people who buy the product dumb. Where are the haters on that?
posted by DU at 5:37 AM on April 20, 2007


well, saying tattoos look fucking dumb works as far as expressing an opinion. calling people names is a load of crap.
posted by andywolf at 6:08 AM on April 23, 2007


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