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East Villagers are Easy
April 25, 2007 8:22 AM   Subscribe

NY Mag instructs six New Yorkers to chronicle their sex lives for a week. Results? Men under report masturbation. Married people don't have sex. Thirty-something female theater directors are where it's at ... and this gem, "If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn’t have blacked out and lost my wallet!"
posted by geoff. (41 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
tldr: PEOPLE GOT SOME BORING ASS LIVES.
posted by smackwich at 8:35 AM on April 25, 2007


If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn’t have blacked out and lost my wallet!

Completely untrue. Last year, I blacked out and sprained my ankle. However, it was nice to have a dude to hold me up as I hopped home on one foot.
posted by muddgirl at 8:38 AM on April 25, 2007


No anal sex, but that's unsuprising, because no one at the New Yorker has an anus.
posted by jonmc at 8:41 AM on April 25, 2007 [3 favorites]


If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn’t have blacked out and lost my wallet!

If it wasn't for my horse I never would've spent that year in college.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:41 AM on April 25, 2007 [10 favorites]


All that's happened to me so far this week is I saw some guy making out with a cute brunette on Wilson Boulevard. Felt tinge of jealousy. Kept driving, went to Whole Foods. Went Home.

ugh. my life sucks. pornotube is all I have time for.
posted by smoothvirus at 8:47 AM on April 25, 2007


probably doesn't make any difference, jonmc, but this article ain't from the New Yorker. It's from New York Magazine.

Just sayin'. People at the New Yorker probably acknowledge their anus-less-ness.
posted by fingers_of_fire at 8:49 AM on April 25, 2007


PEOPLE GOT SOME BORING ASS LIVES.

I feel much better about mine now.
posted by IronLizard at 8:49 AM on April 25, 2007


probably doesn't make any difference, jonmc, but this article ain't from the New Yorker. It's from New York Magazine.

Well, that changes everything. Those people have anuses coming out of thier ass.
posted by jonmc at 8:52 AM on April 25, 2007


oops, I forgot about:

10AM get voicemail from old platonic friend that I used to have a crush on. She wants to go to dinner. Feel flurry of exitement.

3PM realize that she was probably just calling me to tell me about how she's moving in/getting engaged to new boyfriend.
posted by smoothvirus at 8:53 AM on April 25, 2007


1pm: Get email from guy I have crush on. Smile as I read that he broke up with his boyfriend. Feel like a dick for smiling.

1:05pm: Excitedly email a few friends to tell them the guy broke up w/ his bf.

1:10pm: Realize that we still live 6000 miles apart.

1:11pm: Seek comfort in soothing blue of Metafilter.
posted by veggieboy at 9:03 AM on April 25, 2007


is it just me, or does it seem with increased communication technology we have faster paced relationships... and less sex.
posted by edgeways at 9:07 AM on April 25, 2007


What's with the single people having other people over for 15 minutes? Is this a situation whereby one or the other (or both) decide it's not happening, and so they just sort of agree to split? That seems weird. Whatever happened to having to spend an uncomfortable evening with someone, waiting until it's late so you can make reasonable excuses to leave?
posted by stinkycheese at 9:11 AM on April 25, 2007


Next month I will have lived with my husband for 7 years. We still have sex every day.

That is all.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:13 AM on April 25, 2007


What time?
posted by jonmc at 9:15 AM on April 25, 2007 [1 favorite]


What time?

...can you move in?
posted by peeedro at 9:17 AM on April 25, 2007


I've been married four days and we still like each other.
posted by thirteenkiller at 9:18 AM on April 25, 2007 [5 favorites]


Secret Life of Gravy writes 'Next month I will have lived with my husband for 7 years. We still have sex every day.

My teenage kids read Metafilter, so my wife and I stopped having sex the moment our last child was conceived.

That is all.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:22 AM on April 25, 2007 [2 favorites]


9:25 AM : Post comment to MetaFilter.
posted by zippy at 9:25 AM on April 25, 2007 [1 favorite]


What time?

Whenever we feel like it.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:26 AM on April 25, 2007


smoothvirus: c'mon, have faith, you never know. Besides, that never stopped anyone before, especially in chick flicks, where it will turn out the b/f is a total cheating ass commiting illegal acts with sheep so that you can move in and express your undying love. Because if the b/f wasn't all that, we would realize she is just plain ol' cheatin on him, in spirit at the minimum.

thirteenkiller: sorry, not buying it.
posted by Bovine Love at 9:27 AM on April 25, 2007


On page 5, the first entry from the 31 year old ad exec is this:

MIDNIGHT Start sex diary. Think about having sex with writer of this article.

I wonder how it worked out for him.
posted by Brainy at 9:28 AM on April 25, 2007


because no one at the New Yorker has an anus.

You have to credit your source there, Peter Griffin.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:28 AM on April 25, 2007


I cut my peepee off years ago.
posted by Dizzy at 9:35 AM on April 25, 2007


Sounds like metafilter has got a case of the No Pussy Blues.
posted by slimepuppy at 9:37 AM on April 25, 2007


Jesus Christ my wife is fucking awesome.
posted by nanojath at 9:39 AM on April 25, 2007


The young’uns are far more insecure about being single than are thirtysomethings, and it seems that the urbanites with kids are having more sex than singles.

Really...based on a sample size of what? 1? From an already biased pool of people that NY Mag writers know?
posted by spicynuts at 9:41 AM on April 25, 2007


Jesus Christ my wife is fucking awesome.
posted by nanojath at 11:39 AM on April 25


I hope you're planning on hitting that cuckolding shithead Awesome over the head with a frying pan.
posted by COBRA! at 9:55 AM on April 25, 2007 [7 favorites]


9:00 A.M. Didn’t want to orgasm, but then Matt goes down on me and I reconsider

WTF is this? There are people on Earth who don't want to orgasm???
posted by spicynuts at 9:58 AM on April 25, 2007


The Amish.
(Not Shunnist).
posted by Dizzy at 10:00 AM on April 25, 2007


"There are people on Earth who don't want to orgasm???"

New Yorkers really are a fucked up breed.
posted by drstein at 10:40 AM on April 25, 2007 [1 favorite]


More. Even more. Oh, its a daily thing.
posted by undercoverhuwaaah at 10:58 AM on April 25, 2007


Oops, there's the third one.
posted by undercoverhuwaaah at 11:03 AM on April 25, 2007


slimepuppy writes "Sounds like metafilter has got a case of the No Pussy Blues."

I think this one is more appropriate.
posted by Araucaria at 11:27 AM on April 25, 2007


Why did all of the "diaries" read like they were written by the same person?
posted by macadamiaranch at 11:31 AM on April 25, 2007


Next month I will have lived with my husband for 7 years. We still have sex every day.

No kids, huh? I remember those days.
posted by cerebus19 at 11:36 AM on April 25, 2007


Bovine Love: Alas, somewhere in my mid-twenties it slowly dawned on me that there's a huge difference in the way that romance works in Hollywood movies and the way it exists in the real world.

To wit, boyfriend appears to be a nice guy, who is also taller and skinnier than I. Also, there are lots and lots of attractive young women in this town. Now if I wasn't working 12 hours a day, seven days a week, I might actually have the opportunity to meet some of them. Thus, my current dilemma.
posted by smoothvirus at 11:55 AM on April 25, 2007


MetaFilter: And tonight, at the Pit, Everyone Gets Laid.
posted by phaedon at 11:59 AM on April 25, 2007


Dang. I tried.

Thinking there would be some highly descriptive sex type stuff that might speak to my winkle I read that entire thing. Sigh. No. My winkle became so bored it actually logged into my lap top by itself and began browsing gossip sites for pictures of Minne Driver's cleavage. Now thats bored.

First commenter was right. People do lead some boring ass lives.

This article made me feel way better about my life and my sex life in particular. I feel like James Bond by comparison.

So. Um. Thanks? I guess.
posted by tkchrist at 2:43 PM on April 25, 2007


And once again it's proven to me that hearing about other people's sex lives is as boring as hearing about other people's dreams.
posted by Captaintripps at 5:10 PM on April 25, 2007


What about hearing about people's sex dreams?
posted by electriccynic at 2:13 AM on April 26, 2007


We still have sex every day.


with each other?
posted by matteo at 4:23 AM on April 26, 2007


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