Scrambled? Something like that.

May 4, 2007 7:44 AM

The World's Most Unbelievable Invention Pursuing the demand for fresh eggs, Chinese manufacturers have come across the most amazing solution: man-made chicken eggs. More here.
posted by parmanparman (50 comments total)

The most illegal/insane eggs ever made?
posted by Wolfdog at 7:47 AM on May 4, 2007

I only lightly skimmed these links so as not to get too much grodiness in my brain. This is related to the "soy sauce" made from human hair, isn't it?
posted by DU at 7:51 AM on May 4, 2007

Now with melamine!
posted by nofundy at 7:52 AM on May 4, 2007 [2 favorites]

I always figured the man-made chicken would have come first.
posted by bondcliff at 7:57 AM on May 4, 2007 [2 favorites]

So mock chicken came before the man-made-egg.

-Settles that fake conundrum.
posted by isopraxis at 7:57 AM on May 4, 2007 [3 favorites]

Holy shit. What do they make their granola out of, metal shavings and asbestos?
posted by Mister_A at 8:05 AM on May 4, 2007 [2 favorites]

Ahh PowerSauce bars, right? Anyway, let me just say "The horror. The horror."
posted by Mister_A at 8:17 AM on May 4, 2007

Hey Deng Xiaoping died!
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:18 AM on May 4, 2007 [2 favorites]

Gah. I bet their soylent green is made out of androids.
posted by fleetmouse at 8:19 AM on May 4, 2007 [16 favorites]

Soylent green is chicken?
posted by 517 at 8:21 AM on May 4, 2007

Soylent green eggs and ham.
posted by Elmore at 8:34 AM on May 4, 2007 [3 favorites]

You guys just think that's gross because you've never actually had a fake egg omelet covered with hair soy sauce and melamine.
posted by parallax7d at 8:40 AM on May 4, 2007 [4 favorites]

I'm pretty sure this is a hoax. BoingBoing seemed to agree when this first popped up over a year ago: http://www.boingboing.net/2006/04/04/egg_piracy_in_china_.html
posted by allen.spaulding at 8:44 AM on May 4, 2007

C'mon, it's on the internet. The internet is like the NY Times of global computer networks.
posted by Mister_A at 8:45 AM on May 4, 2007 [2 favorites]

Queers Network Research

huh?
posted by rxrfrx at 8:46 AM on May 4, 2007

I'd be happier if we invented robotic bees.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 8:47 AM on May 4, 2007

The Process of Producing a Human-Made Egg.
posted by ericb at 9:00 AM on May 4, 2007

Yeah, but notice that the original journal (The Internet Journal of Toxicology) no longer has either this or the hair soy sauce article (same author) up. That's why this link goes to a web archive. Is that sketchy, or what?
posted by Comrade_robot at 9:03 AM on May 4, 2007

This is as fake as fake fakeness.
posted by mr_roboto at 9:12 AM on May 4, 2007 [1 favorite]

n 2001, there were 185 cases of food poisoning, affecting about 15,715 people and causing 146 deaths ( 5 ). The cases doubled in 2002 ( 6 ). In 2003, the number of reported cases was ten times more than that in 2001, and the number of people suffered was as high as 29,660, including 262 deaths ( 7 ).

Problems with teh math.
posted by Afroblanco at 9:19 AM on May 4, 2007

I always figured the man-made chicken would have come first.

I think Jessamyn's justly-acclaimed photo implies that the man would come before the chicken.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:20 AM on May 4, 2007 [2 favorites]

Fer crissakes, they have fake BMW's in China, eggs are easy...

over easy.
posted by Pollomacho at 9:20 AM on May 4, 2007 [2 favorites]

Right. Real egg whites NEVER bubble when you fry them. And a petroleum fire can't soften steel.
posted by Mayor Curley at 9:21 AM on May 4, 2007

Soylent green is chicken?

Nope, it's soy beans and lentils. (I never understood how someone read "Make Room, Make Room" and decided that Soylent Green should be people, the book has nothing to do with that.)

One thing about this article that confused me; how much energy is being spent making counterfeit eggs? Couldn't that effort be better spent raising additional egg laying birds?

Or have they reached some kind of critical mass where the environment simply won't support any more animals?
posted by quin at 9:27 AM on May 4, 2007

Problems with teh math.

There may or may not be. The quote you provide doesn't have enough information to tell. (Note the difference between "cases", "people" and "deaths".)
posted by DU at 9:31 AM on May 4, 2007

Also, it looks like this recipe is for 'jello' eggs. Would you be fooled by a 'jello' egg? Would a 'jello' egg even harden again without cooling?
posted by Comrade_robot at 9:34 AM on May 4, 2007

China's food fears (part one):

"The manager said, ‘This salt is bought on the black market. It’s cheaper by 50 yuan a jin.’ Later in the yard outside, I saw printed on the bags of salt the terrifying words, ‘Industrial Salt’, and ‘Not for human consumption.’"
posted by RMD at 9:40 AM on May 4, 2007

China's food fears (part one)

You know, the problem there is that the Chinese FDA has broken down the network of trust that used to exist between the farmers, manufacturers and consumers.
posted by fleetmouse at 9:54 AM on May 4, 2007

There may or may not be. The quote you provide doesn't have enough information to tell. (Note the difference between "cases", "people" and "deaths".)

in 2001, there were 185 cases of food poisoning, affecting about 15,715 people and causing 146 deaths

In 2003, the number of reported cases was ten times more than that in 2001, and the number of people suffered was as high as 29,660, including 262 deaths

The only way this could not have been a mistake would be -

1) If the number of "cases" is different from the number of "reported cases." This is possible, although it raises the question of how you would go about measuring unreported cases.

or

2) If "affected people" are different then "people who suffered." As someone who has had food poisoning, I assure you this is impossible. Suffering is pretty much all that food poisioning is good for.
posted by Afroblanco at 9:59 AM on May 4, 2007

You know, when this actually happens and ISN'T a hoax, I hope all the world's scifi writers are locked up until the food product is properly named. Don't get me wrong. I love my scifi and scifi writers, but the last thing the world needs is the kind of clamor arising from thousands upon thousands of men and women screaming

"Syntheggics!"
"Syntheggs!"
"Nanoeggatronics!"
"Eggsimile!"
"Facseggile!"

and likewise.
posted by shmegegge at 10:01 AM on May 4, 2007 [1 favorite]

Afroblanco: or,

(3) if "case of food poisoning" means a case of contamination of a quantity of food, not a case of "food poisoning" in the usual sense of the word (where it means something like: someone ate spoiled meat and got sick).
posted by little miss manners at 10:04 AM on May 4, 2007

How is a man-made egg any weirder than TOFURKEY?

I mean... seriously. TOFURKEY!
posted by miss lynnster at 10:17 AM on May 4, 2007

It does seem like a lot of materials and labor for something that you're going to sell for 3 cents.
posted by Mister_A at 10:24 AM on May 4, 2007

As silly as Tofurkey is, no one's trying to pass that off as real turkey.

I'm with the majority opinion - this fake egg story is bullshit, but is making the rounds again because of the (real) melamine issue.
posted by O9scar at 10:32 AM on May 4, 2007

Man, those Chinese will counterfeit anything, won't they?
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 10:47 AM on May 4, 2007

I think America can claim to have a superior product with Lego shaped Eggos
posted by bhnyc at 10:49 AM on May 4, 2007

eggo lego (better pic)
posted by bhnyc at 10:52 AM on May 4, 2007

For example, baifan (alumen) has been linked to Alzhmer’s disease if consumed for a prolonged period of time.

I'd forgotten Alzhmer’s. *Checks eggs*
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:00 AM on May 4, 2007

Carophyll red?
posted by Espoo2 at 11:15 AM on May 4, 2007 [1 favorite]

Of course, there would be a shortage of chickens after thousands were killed to prevent the spread of bird flu.
posted by Cranberry at 11:19 AM on May 4, 2007

I could have sworn I saw this on MeFi a year or so ago. Now I have no idea where I saw this originally...
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 12:00 PM on May 4, 2007

How on earth could this possibly be less expensive or labor intensive than raising chickens?
posted by stenseng at 1:08 PM on May 4, 2007

I mean, it literally costs you chicken feed to do...
posted by stenseng at 1:08 PM on May 4, 2007

Confirmation that it's a hoax:

http://www.tian.cc/2007/05/hoax-chinese-counterfeit-eggs.html
posted by Comrade_robot at 1:46 PM on May 4, 2007 [1 favorite]

Looks like we're entering another period of upsweeps in Asia related urban legends: fake eggs and soy sauce in China, sheep sold as poodles in Japan. The last Asian urban legend boom I can remember was back around the "Human foetus is a delicacy in Taiwan" period, in 2001, so it looks like a twice-a-decade cycle.
posted by Bugbread at 6:10 PM on May 4, 2007

So a guy walks into a mechanics office and says "Doc, I have this Chinese machine that thinks it's a chicken..."

and then Something something something...


... So then he says "No. We need the eggs!"

BAH-TISHHHH!



Eh. I'll work on it.
posted by tkchrist at 6:23 PM on May 4, 2007 [1 favorite]

"Syntheggics!"
"Syntheggs!"
"Nanoeggatronics!"
"Eggsimile!"
"Facseggile!"

Feggs?
posted by The Power Nap at 6:24 PM on May 4, 2007

I just want to address the issue that although this may be a hoax, we are growing fish and cows in a petri dish
posted by Holy foxy moxie batman! at 11:03 PM on May 4, 2007

So now they're not only counterfeiting eggs, they're even counterfeiting counterfeit egg alarm reports! This is worse than I thought.
posted by pica at 1:29 AM on May 5, 2007

"Man-made chickens. . . DAMNEDEST little things! No bigger'n your fist."
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 11:35 AM on May 6, 2007