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May 7, 2007 6:00 AM   Subscribe

Bible Fight [Flash game]
posted by thirteenkiller (24 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
Jesus said knock me out.
posted by miss lynnster at 6:05 AM on May 7, 2007 [2 favorites]


A woman wearing only a leaf killed me. I suck at fight games.
posted by DU at 6:18 AM on May 7, 2007


What a crappy game. As Satan I could easily knock the shit out of Eve by getting her in the corner and simply keep pressing Z. Not very well balanced at all.
posted by sveskemus at 6:27 AM on May 7, 2007


Uh, how do you advance into the actual game after picking characters and venue? Poor UI design.
posted by intermod at 6:33 AM on May 7, 2007


Took me a second to place the music....it's Gregorio Allegri's Miserere -- used to have to sing this (lyrics in English) in my church choir every Maundy Thursday, through gritted teeth. (We didn't have the personnel or the skill to do it justice.)
posted by pax digita at 6:46 AM on May 7, 2007


Uh, how do you advance into the actual game after picking characters and venue?

Uh, you click the button that says "Fight".
posted by thirteenkiller at 7:08 AM on May 7, 2007


Yeah, Satan wins every time. Very cute design, but balance could use some serious work.

Also, typing "Jehovah" on the arcade screen unlocks the hidden character (I won't say who it is, no matter how obvious it should be).
posted by Schlimmbesserung at 7:13 AM on May 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


Satan winning every time is perhaps too realistic. It was the same with M. Bison though.
posted by thirteenkiller at 7:15 AM on May 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


Some people are going to be really, really upset about this game.
posted by humblepigeon at 7:16 AM on May 7, 2007


Needs more Hindu.
posted by brain_drain at 7:22 AM on May 7, 2007


Virtua Fighter 4 was better.
posted by cortex at 7:41 AM on May 7, 2007


I played through as eve, I found satan pretty easy to beat, mary was a lot harder.

Jesus was a total pushover though.
posted by Arturus at 8:09 AM on May 7, 2007


If you want to enjoy the game, I would suggest not playing as Satan. It's way too easy; I didn't even have to use moves and just kept forking people until they were dead. It was useful to blaze through and get the code for the hidden character, but here, I'll save you the trouble: type JEHOVAH on the arcade mode screen.

I absolutely love the graphic style, though. I wish they still made more fighting games with this kind of 2D feel.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:17 AM on May 7, 2007


I played through as Eve, and found Satan impossible, but everyone else (before Satan) were a breeze.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 8:33 AM on May 7, 2007


(I won't say who it is, no matter how obvious it should be).

Richard Dawkins?
posted by felix betachat at 8:38 AM on May 7, 2007 [5 favorites]


Also, typing "Jehovah" on the arcade screen unlocks the hidden character

/me throws a rock at Schlimmbesserung
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:59 AM on May 7, 2007


Worth one play, as Satan, of course, in the split Red Sea, against a (decently powerful) Jesus, with his damned loaves and fishes.

The old roll-backwards, x, z move that turns Satan into Cerberus seems nigh unstoppable.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:44 AM on May 7, 2007


(I won't say who it is, no matter how obvious it should be).

Osama Bin Laden?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:53 AM on May 7, 2007


I was playing this last night and was surprised that there wasn't Samson with donkey jaw bone or even David with his slingshot as one of the characters. I'm hoping this game is being expanded on. More characters please!

Samson - Donkey jawbone projectile attack. Also "Pillars" move will have him push down two pillars raining down stones upon you.

David - slingshot projectile attack, but can also send out soundwave attacks with his lyre.

Joshua - one of his special attacks could be a bunch of soldiers marching around you then blowing on their horns and shouting so that a hail of boulders come raining down on you. Or Caleb shows up and the both of them drowns the other character with milk and honey whilst pelting the other character with giant grapes (aka "Spies into Canaan").

Daniel - can either call upon Shadrach, Meschack and Abednego for fire attack or can summon lions. "Handwriting of God" has the screen go dark as a large phantom hand writes "Mene, Mene, Tekel, Upharshin" on you and after a one second pause you get hit by numerous invisible combo hits like you got Fist of the North Star-ed or a bunch of Medes and Persians attack you.

Nebuchadnezzar - Large Idol Smash would summon a ginormous idol from the sky to stomp on you or he can go into "God Made him Insane for Seven Years" rage mode and start tearing at grass with his teeth and have his nails grow long and attacks you like a wild animal.

Elisha - a bunch of kids run up from off screen and next to the enemy character and start taunting Elisha about his bald head and he gets very very mad and calls up a bear that attacks the other player. Can also transfer Naaman's leprosy onto enemy.

Elijah - calls up a pack of dogs to consume you ("Condemnation of Ahab and Jezebel"). Can call down fire from heaven (projectile attack). And can also call upon the Chariot of Fire which he hops into and run over the other character with.

Oh I have more...I haven't even touched on the New Testament.
posted by kkokkodalk at 11:00 AM on May 7, 2007 [3 favorites]


Eve kicked the crap out of Jesus the first round. I was too bored with it by the second round to bother. Meh.

"5 minutes to kill yourself," on the other hand, is hilarious.
posted by Marla Singer at 11:23 AM on May 7, 2007


The Adam Uppercut is probably the funniest thing I've seen all week.
posted by phaedon at 11:24 AM on May 7, 2007


a 1-link Adult Swim game fpp...

I like 5 minutes to kill yourself better.
posted by subaruwrx at 11:54 AM on May 7, 2007


It only took me 2 minutes. Hmmm. Apparently I'm pretty good at killing myself.
posted by miss lynnster at 1:20 PM on May 7, 2007


"Satan Wins"

Well duh!
posted by Eideteker at 3:54 PM on May 7, 2007


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