I have had it with this motherfucking snake on this motherfucking baby!

May 8, 2007 1:59 PM

Little Mukesh is the most badass kid in his nursery. His little friends all have pet dogs, cats, ponies, goats, you know... same old thing. But not Mukesh! No no no! His parents got him a pet COBRA! (Albeit clearly defanged. I mean, he is a baby & all.)
WARNING: Do not click link if you don't want to see a bare-butted baby piss off a spitting cobra.
posted by miss lynnster (49 comments total)

No, I do not REALLY know this child's name. Apparently "Mukesh" means "Lord of the Dumb" though. So, it seemed right.
posted by miss lynnster at 2:00 PM on May 8, 2007

So much for my pet donkey
posted by jsavimbi at 2:03 PM on May 8, 2007

D'oh! Site blocked for "Advocacy\Hate/Slander" by company web filter.
posted by Bugbread at 2:05 PM on May 8, 2007

Obviously a feral child raised by mongooses.
posted by isopraxis at 2:05 PM on May 8, 2007

That is one frustrated snake.
At 0:38, cobra: "Dude... Come on!"
posted by gally99 at 2:11 PM on May 8, 2007

It's terrible to see poor old Kaa, fangless in his dotage, reduced to turning tricks for the punters.
posted by bonehead at 2:11 PM on May 8, 2007

That poor fucking cobra. I imagine it's feeling the exact same way I feel when the batteries die in my TV remote control.
posted by Divine_Wino at 2:12 PM on May 8, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

If you live somewhere a cobra isn't rare, wouldn't it be a good idea NOT to let a baby think they're fun toys?
posted by Mamapotomus at 2:14 PM on May 8, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

Mamapotomus: I was thinking exactly the same thing.

"Aww look guys, these cobras get a bad rap- I used to play with one when I was knee high to a mongoose, in fact I got bit all the time and nothing seem to hap-"

.
posted by LondonYank at 2:23 PM on May 8, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

A hooding cobra is a terrified cobra.

A defanged cobra is a mutilated cobra.

That is all.
posted by mcwetboy at 2:28 PM on May 8, 2007

Goddamn. Kid's a badass. I'd love to see his bearskin rug picture.
posted by Shecky at 2:32 PM on May 8, 2007

Is there a Darwin award for parents? I remember reading about Ryszard Kapuszcinski killing a cobra, and it sure didn't sound like a toy.

Brave kid, though. I was afraid my jack-in-the-box, and it didn't hiss at me, or wrap itself around my neck, or throw itself in my face.
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 2:44 PM on May 8, 2007

BTW, does anyone understand this language? Isn't anyone saying "don't touch that cobra, it's been crawling in the dirt eating vermin.
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 2:48 PM on May 8, 2007

Genius population control method. Hear-hear.
posted by Pecinpah at 2:52 PM on May 8, 2007

I don't know, I just feel like should be here. Hold me.
posted by COBRA! at 2:55 PM on May 8, 2007 [10 favorites has favorites]

WARNING: Do not click link if you don't want to see a bare-butted baby piss off a spitting cobra.

Oh, come on! How can I NOT click that link?
posted by quite unimportant at 2:59 PM on May 8, 2007

::Gir voice:: I love you angry hissing thing. I love you good.

But yeah, scared mutilated snakes do not make quin happy.

Babies almost getting bit do, however, bring a small smile to my face.
posted by quin at 3:02 PM on May 8, 2007

I thought that babies had an innate fear of snakes.* Most primates do.

* Except for Baby Hercules, of course.
posted by painquale at 3:18 PM on May 8, 2007

The kid's name is not Mukesh. It is Wendell.
posted by The Bellman at 3:22 PM on May 8, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Well hey, if you don't like defanged cobras, how about a goat licking an electric fence?
posted by miss lynnster at 3:42 PM on May 8, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

Well, yeah miss lynnster, how can we not like any goat that gets off licking an electric fence?

I mean, look at how happy it is. Lick lick *zap* pause... lick lick *zap*
posted by quin at 3:50 PM on May 8, 2007

When I was a kid
I had no sense.
posted by isopraxis at 4:01 PM on May 8, 2007

lolz funny brown people
posted by liquorice at 4:02 PM on May 8, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

"...in fact I got bit all the time and nothing seem to hap-"

Did anybody else read that and flash on the famous last words of John Sedgwick?

(more details here)

miss l., not complaining or anything, but you sure are comin' up with some offbeat animal FPPs these days.
posted by pax digita at 4:02 PM on May 8, 2007

Okay, so I'm inserting a new step between Steps 5* and 6** in Throw the Baby Out with the Punch-Water: Robocop's Guide to Raising Superbabies to include a cobra encounter by 6 months.

Those of you who have already bought a copy can log on to the website for a free printout update.

* Step 5: Babies Love Chemicals!
** Step 6: Babies Love Electricity!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:07 PM on May 8, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Jeez, the things parents will do to avoid hiring a nanny....
posted by rob511 at 4:16 PM on May 8, 2007

The language is Telugu one I can understand mostly believe it or not. Its an Indian language from Andhra Pradesh India (Hyderabad).

I could only make out one of the people saying "The snake is going near the kid". But, it's not like they were really helping the child......

I would have to guess it might be from a village and the child might even be an orphan. :( It ends sort of ominously so I hope Cobras have no clue how to choke humans.
posted by skepticallypleased at 4:17 PM on May 8, 2007

Hmmm. Really? Well let's count back on my last 6 fpps...
     1. Angry cobra with bare-butted baby (Definitely an animal)
     2. H.R. Pufnstuf (Big orange dragon in white cowboy boots -- Probably not a real animal)
     3. Spray-painted dog (Definitely a real animal)
     4. David Bowie (Human animal)
     5. Creepy frog puppet warning of intestinal worm (One fake animal talking about one real creature that I guess is an animal?)
     6. Illegal drugs (Definitely not an animal)

Sooo, I guess the animal percentage is higher lately, huh? I suppose I just figure animal posts are probably less likely to be turned into LOLMUSLIMANIMALZ posts. Especially since this snake is clearly hindu and HR Pufenstuf was a Jehovah's Witness.
posted by miss lynnster at 4:18 PM on May 8, 2007

And hey... at least I know if they're offbeat that they probably aren't doubles! :)
posted by miss lynnster at 4:23 PM on May 8, 2007

This link got past work: http://www.break.com/index/crazy-parents-let-baby-wrestle-cobra.html
posted by linux at 4:28 PM on May 8, 2007

miss lynster sez: LOLMUSLIMANIMALZ

So that's why Bush is all against Human-Animal Hybrids, it's a terror plot!
posted by symbioid at 4:39 PM on May 8, 2007

lolz funny brown people

Yeah, not so much. Unless Indians commonly rear children with defanged cobras*, this is a little more OMGWTFSNAKEBABY than lolbrownies.

* If it is indeed common practice in Indian culture to allow defanged cobras to strike at infants' heads, I humbly apologize to liquorice. However, due to my cultural ignorance, I must admit my reaction will always be OMGWTFSNAKEBABY.
posted by quite unimportant at 4:45 PM on May 8, 2007

(Believe, me, miss l., it wasn't a complaint. Crush still in effect here.)

I'm imagining an Indian TV (primetime, family) program akin to Lassie....or maybe when the kid's old enough to talk, a Claymation Hindu version of Davey and Goliath...
posted by pax digita at 4:52 PM on May 8, 2007

"Well hey, if you don't like defanged cobras, how about a goat licking an electric fence?"

OK, I clicked that thinking "Please, if there is a god, let there be audio to accompany this video", and lo, there was.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:09 PM on May 8, 2007

The fact that Ian Paisley was on the radio saying "I wonder why people hate me - I'm such a nice man!" as I watched that made it pretty bloody funny. Someone should totally make a documentary history of the Troubles with all the major players replaced at random by babies and snakes.
posted by jack_mo at 5:28 PM on May 8, 2007

I just figure animal posts are probably less likely to be turned into LOLMUSLIMANIMALZ posts

Surely you know that by posting this in the middle of Cobramadan, you were asking for trouble.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:40 PM on May 8, 2007

I think it's more than defanged. In India, it's quite common to see cobras with their mouths sewn tight, these are the cobras that the so called snake charmers use. Of course the cobra dies soon after and then they have to go get another one.
posted by dhruva at 7:00 PM on May 8, 2007

I would have to guess it might be from a village and the child might even be an orphan.

Yep - the snakes fangs are still embedded in the kid's parents' ankles, no doubt.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:01 PM on May 8, 2007

If it is indeed common practice in Indian culture to allow defanged cobras to strike at infants' heads, I humbly apologize to liquorice.

If it's a common practice, it must be kept behind closed doors. I'm more familiar with elephants at temples tapping their trunks on top of infants' heads, as some sort of blessing. I can never help wondering "isn't the top of their skull as soft as latex at that age...?"
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:09 PM on May 8, 2007

dhruva: I believe it does have it's mouth sewn shut, according to the shitload of viewers over at wtf_inc.
posted by sperose at 7:14 PM on May 8, 2007

The snake charmers I've seen definitely weren't using snakes with their mouths sewn shut, but they weren't in India. It's awful if they do that somewhere! Then again, some of these snake people are just freaking nuts on a whole.
posted by miss lynnster at 7:21 PM on May 8, 2007

If it's a common practice, it must be kept behind closed doors.

You can find it anywhere if you know where to look. I'd go so far as to say that you haven't lived until you visit a "herp show." On the east coast there are a bunch in Havre de Grace Md and Hamburg Pa. A video of a baby with a de-fanged cobra is nothing compared watching a half dozen redneck reptile and amphibian breeders, all shades of drunk and stoned, taking turns catching and releasing a de-fanged king cobra in the parking lot. Good times.
posted by peeedro at 8:08 PM on May 8, 2007

hmm...a kid in india with apparent invulnerability, or at the very least, immunity to snakebites. is his father by any chance a geneticist?
posted by lord_wolf at 8:13 PM on May 8, 2007

Yeah, but rednecks also do this stuff.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:13 PM on May 8, 2007

Weird child and animal abuse at the same time. Left me feeling sad for both the baby and the snake. Must be psycho or really financially desperate parents to pimp their infant as being attacked by a defanged king cobra. awful
posted by nickyskye at 8:39 PM on May 8, 2007

Yeah, but rednecks also do this stuff.

Yeah, that snake-handling shit is pretty weird, no getting around it. And most all of them get bitten at one time or another: many of them have been bitten numerous times. I could never see the point then. I mean, if the damn thing bites you, I dunno, doesn't that mean the Lord is like, sleeping on the job? Isn't the whole idea that you'll be somehow protected by divine intervention or something? Well, admittedly, I don't know a whole lot about it... (Hey, I am from Alabama, but ain't no banjo on my knee, neither, allright?)
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:20 PM on May 8, 2007

I couldn't watch that. All my maternal instincts were SCREAMING at me to save the baby.
posted by saturnine at 3:09 AM on May 9, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

I wondered when Mark 16:18 wuz gonna come up. How come you never see these Appalachians chugging Drano? Don't they truly believe?
posted by pax digita at 4:24 AM on May 9, 2007

my (evil) mom is terrified of snakes. this just might be the heart attack i've been looking for.
posted by RedEmma at 5:58 PM on May 9, 2007