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Turtle Power!
May 9, 2007 5:37 PM   Subscribe

Turtle > cat youtube, cute critters
posted by Joe Invisible (50 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

 
im in ur gardens snapping ur cats
posted by empath at 5:42 PM on May 9, 2007 [2 favorites]


That turtle is like the slasher flick killers that always catch up to the running kids despite walking as slow as, well, a turtle.
posted by brain_drain at 5:46 PM on May 9, 2007


Ugh. Seriously?
posted by pantsrobot at 5:51 PM on May 9, 2007


I like Tortoise chasing a tomato. It's the perfect analogy for, you know, life. Except that he does actually get the tomato eventually, because a kindly person steps in to assist him. And we know it doesn't always work out like that.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:54 PM on May 9, 2007 [2 favorites]


Best laugh I've had all week.

If that footage was all from the same day, that would have been one tired turtle by the end of it.
posted by Tbola at 5:54 PM on May 9, 2007


That fucker is relentless
posted by vito90 at 5:55 PM on May 9, 2007


Haha, there is nothing better than a raging turtle.
posted by fire&wings at 5:58 PM on May 9, 2007


I wanna see this turtle against Achilles.
posted by everichon at 6:01 PM on May 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


At 1:52 or so, I thought, "Oh my God. The turtle chewed all of the cat's hair off."
posted by miss lynnster at 6:02 PM on May 9, 2007 [4 favorites]


Cat like reflexes or relentless turtle power? I think we all know why we have ninja turtles now.
posted by yeloson at 6:12 PM on May 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


That turtle really fucking hates cats. My wife and I have a cat, and are thinking of getting a turtle, now we're looking forward to years of entertainment. Also, watching the little guy maneuver like he's a damn tank or The Merrimac was hilarious.
posted by Kattullus at 6:26 PM on May 9, 2007


That be mah homie.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 6:26 PM on May 9, 2007 [3 favorites]


I'll grant you the first 16 seconds were amusing, but I want my other two minutes back.
posted by mauglir at 6:30 PM on May 9, 2007


Even if it is just a radio controlled toy it is still pretty funny.
posted by Space Coyote at 6:39 PM on May 9, 2007


NO MEANS NO, even for turtles.
posted by Dizzy at 6:39 PM on May 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


That first cat looked so surprised every time. It's like he forgot that the turtle just bit his ass two seconds ago... every single time it happened. Even if the individual shots were days apart, come on! I don't think he would make it in the brutal world of the wild, where turtles roam the earth constantly seeking catflesh.
posted by synaesthetichaze at 6:40 PM on May 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


Am I the only one who, while watching the cat try to fight off the turtle, imagined it as juggernaut?

Your weapons cannot harm me, don't you know who I am? I'm the juggernaut, bitch.
posted by Arturus at 6:53 PM on May 9, 2007 [3 favorites]


Dear AskMe;
I have a crush on a neighbor, but he doesn't even know I'm alive!
Will it help if I repeatedly sniff his butt?
PS
We're not the same religion

Anon.
posted by Dizzy at 6:56 PM on May 9, 2007 [2 favorites]


The TURTLE-ATOR.

Cuteness meter>> Exploded-ed.
posted by Skygazer at 7:09 PM on May 9, 2007


Look at that little guy go!
Day = made.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 7:14 PM on May 9, 2007


Yeah -- all that turtle was looking for was some ass-play!
posted by ericb at 7:19 PM on May 9, 2007


mauglir - you're putting way too much pressure on each minute of your life. Relax and enjoy life's little pleasures, like turtles eating cats.
posted by ORthey at 7:20 PM on May 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


So, by the end it had eaten all the fur off the cat?
posted by PHINC at 7:40 PM on May 9, 2007


The Deej says: I endorse this post.

78^D
posted by The Deej at 7:53 PM on May 9, 2007


There's only one response: evolution must be stopped.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:06 PM on May 9, 2007


Great KO Oddball material
posted by PreteFunkEra at 8:21 PM on May 9, 2007


Slow and steady wins every time.
posted by killThisKid at 8:39 PM on May 9, 2007


The cat just wasn't hungry enough for it.
posted by stavrogin at 8:40 PM on May 9, 2007


Slow and steady wins every time.

And hey, the little fellow wasn't even all that slow, really. I thought he moved at a decent clip, there.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:40 PM on May 9, 2007


Indeed. I'd have to move with a decent shuffle to escape that dynamo.
posted by kosher_jenny at 9:32 PM on May 9, 2007


Well, that goes on the shelf next to gibbon v tiger and rabbit v snake in the great underdog Youtube animal fight club victories.
posted by Bookhouse at 10:07 PM on May 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


If liking youtube posts with cute shit like this is wrong, I don't want to be right.
posted by Rhomboid at 10:50 PM on May 9, 2007


Goddamn it it's a tortoise. Turtles are smelly and live in and around the water. Tortoises are dry land creatures and don't reek of swamp death. They are usually friendlier than this one - that's the meanest tortoise I have ever seen!
posted by Sukiari at 12:32 AM on May 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


I think the tortoise was just lonely. They ought to get another tortoise.

(How do you sex a tortoise?)
posted by pracowity at 12:41 AM on May 10, 2007



LOLCATZ11111

I'M INYOUR PUZZY SNAPPING YER GRAS1111

LOLRMFOLM...DFJPVIAEHTO;BNVGRLJV

ADL;FJKVNE;TNV1111

I LUVS TEH HOOTOOOB

LOLCATZ111 RULZ1111

(did I get that right? I think I got that right...)
posted by From Bklyn at 1:46 AM on May 10, 2007


Sukiari: A turtle kept in clean water will not smell like, "Swamp death." Keep your chelonian biases to yourself!
posted by 1adam12 at 1:57 AM on May 10, 2007


"I want my two dollars! Two dollars!"
posted by azpenguin at 2:22 AM on May 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


totally amusing, would watch again!
posted by madamjujujive at 3:46 AM on May 10, 2007


Go underdog tortoise! Thanks for posting this.

In a related story about tortoise/cat opposition, I once heard about a family that kept both a tortoise and a cat as pets. The cat liked to doze by the fireplace. The tortoise, wandering about the house, would see the cat by the fireplace, and perceive it as something nice and warm to burrow underneath. The look on the cat's face when it realized it was being slowly wedged upwards by an unstoppable rock-like object was priceless. The cat, of course, would move, and the tortoise would follow it and begin the process again.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:23 AM on May 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


That turtle really wants some pussy.
posted by disgruntled at 5:30 AM on May 10, 2007


"Here kitty kitty kitty. Come on. I just wanna pet you. Awww yawrsocooot. Coootchie cooo. Hey. Where you goin'?"
posted by yeti at 6:42 AM on May 10, 2007


Were you people not paying attention? This isn't about the tortoise, it's about the Siamese cat at the end. The tortoise is demonstrably bad ass, the way he relentlessly chases down the big fluffy cat in the beginning, then they cut to the white Siamese who lures the tortoise behind a bush, we see a struggle and the cat calmly emerges. But the tortoise doesn't.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want to mess with a chelonian who was out for my blood, but this just reconfirms my belief that while cats may top the food chain, Siamese cats sit somewhere even higher. In their blue eyes, they hold the power to destroy your very soul.

At least that's what mine keeps telling me.

And flapjax at midnite's link was great, but it made me really sad for some reason.
posted by quin at 9:54 AM on May 10, 2007


I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, JOE INVISIBLE!!!! DIDN'T YOU SEE "LEGENDARY SHINE" INSCRIBED INTO THE SHELL? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?! VIRAL MARKETING!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH@!!!@$##@!!!!!
posted by Debaser626 at 10:55 AM on May 10, 2007


I started laughing at around 1:20 - the repetition finally got to me. It's a bit like Sideshow Bob stepping on rakes.
posted by teleskiving at 10:59 AM on May 10, 2007


Bookhouse wrote: Well, that goes on the shelf next to gibbon v tiger and rabbit v snake in the great underdog Youtube animal fight club victories.

gibbon v tiger and rabbit v snake
posted by ryanrs at 11:32 AM on May 10, 2007


Cat v bear
posted by quin at 11:41 AM on May 10, 2007


rabbit v snake

HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE INSANE?!!!
posted by furtive at 7:49 PM on May 10, 2007


Ugh. Seriously?

It doesn't get any more serious than a tortoise about to charge your ass.
posted by dirigibleman at 9:47 PM on May 10, 2007


I've commented here before about the tortoise mind set, but I'll reiterate this point;

They may be big (and occasionally small) and wonderfully silly, but like other reptiles, they are essentially hardwired. They aren't going to "learn" a lot in their lives.

They are going to look for food, then sex, then protection, then interlopers that might impede on the first three points. This is what they do.

They may live to be over 100, (and Sulcatas do) but you can't ever believe that they will do anything other than eat, sex, protect, and chase. It's kinda their trademark.

And yeah, as humans, we should probably admire that in them.
posted by quin at 10:10 PM on May 10, 2007




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