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Underwater Tigers.
May 14, 2007 9:00 PM   Subscribe

Underwater Tigers. Best one.
posted by milestogo (73 comments total) 36 users marked this as a favorite

 
the "Best One" looks like a Japanese painting of a tiger
posted by Ironmouth at 9:03 PM on May 14, 2007


I feel a LOLcat coming on!
posted by L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg at 9:04 PM on May 14, 2007


Pravda has really embraced the Internet age:

Condoleezza Rice's anti-Russian stance based on sexual problems
posted by KokuRyu at 9:05 PM on May 14, 2007


and....Astronauts use hellish toilet devices to relieve themselves in space
There's also a "hellish" hairy sea monster.

The tiger pictures are great, by the way
posted by bunglin jones at 9:11 PM on May 14, 2007


I wonder why they look so angry.

Seriously, great pictures.
posted by gsteff at 9:13 PM on May 14, 2007


(pravda.ru isn't Lenin's "Pravda")
posted by Firas at 9:15 PM on May 14, 2007 [1 favorite]


The tigers are very cool. But WTF, Russia?

”Condoleezza Rice needs a company of soldiers. She needs to be taken to barracks where she would be satisfied. On the other hand, she can hardly be satisfied because of her age."

Not a fan of Ms. Rice, but what a thing to say about older, unmarried women who say unpopular stuff. Dude needs to be fed to underwater tigers.
posted by oneirodynia at 9:16 PM on May 14, 2007 [3 favorites]


Where's your God now?!?!
posted by Firas at 9:17 PM on May 14, 2007 [1 favorite]


Terrifying and primeval.
posted by maryh at 9:19 PM on May 14, 2007 [1 favorite]


The best one is just waiting for a black velvet version.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 9:24 PM on May 14, 2007


I wanted to look at the underwater tigers, but I got distracted by "Cheerleaders steal audience's attention from athletes" and "Paris Hilton autopsy to be displayed in New York" photo reports. I think I need to read more Pravda.
posted by Dave Faris at 9:28 PM on May 14, 2007


The "at" link looks like Elvis - just saying.
posted by vronsky at 9:28 PM on May 14, 2007


HAH! Yoo not get away from Sharkcat!
if u r small piece of meet, u shud probbly run. er, swim.
posted by po at 9:36 PM on May 14, 2007


I wonder why they look so angry.

You obviously don't have a pet cat.
posted by parallax7d at 9:41 PM on May 14, 2007


Man those tigers look like real killers. Usually photographs of tigers make them look like overgrown puddy tats, with big "Who me?" eyes peeking out of Rousseau painting forest greenery. But these snarlers are scary. brrrr. Their bloodthirsty determination, snaggletoothiness is so out there. Marvelously fierce! Now those are tigers.
posted by nickyskye at 9:55 PM on May 14, 2007


I keep imagining that trainer at the moment the tigers emerge from the drink...."Hahaha.... God help me, I am SOOOO sorry. Please, it was the photographer's idea. He's the bad man, the bad tasty plump man... Nice kitties, nice...."
posted by maryh at 9:57 PM on May 14, 2007


Oh goody, I was just looking for a way to somehow combine my fear of drowning with being mauled.
posted by kosher_jenny at 9:58 PM on May 14, 2007 [3 favorites]


I am so using these photos to scare kids out of the pool this summer.
posted by conch soup at 10:00 PM on May 14, 2007


INVISIBLE WALL
posted by kosher_jenny at 10:00 PM on May 14, 2007 [5 favorites]


Kinda funny, nicky, coz those languid free-range tigers can probably rip the photographer's heart out, meanwhile these fiercely poised Bengals are doing circus tricks at Six Flags Vallejo. Rousseau would approve.
posted by Firas at 10:06 PM on May 14, 2007 [1 favorite]


Tigers? Meh. Hellish hairy sea monster cast ashore.
posted by doublesix at 10:07 PM on May 14, 2007


One Performance Only-
Sigfried and Roy Synchronized Swimming
Like Esther Williams, but Slathered in Gravy and Served Over Croutons and Sticky Rice
Bring Your Own Plate, and Be Ready to Run Like Hell!
posted by maryh at 10:17 PM on May 14, 2007


Here's a set of underwater tigers on flickr. A story from Museum of Hoaxes on underwater tiger pictures and possibly the original underwater tiger photographer
posted by obedo at 11:07 PM on May 14, 2007 [4 favorites]


wow obedo, great find. shoulda had those in the post...
posted by milestogo at 11:23 PM on May 14, 2007


you're right Firas, the buttery mellow in-the-wild tigers are the authentic ones, these posed ones just have that intensely tigery look.
posted by nickyskye at 11:25 PM on May 14, 2007


metafilter: Where even the LOLcats are better.
posted by sien at 12:04 AM on May 15, 2007


i can has swimmy Roy?
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:19 AM on May 15, 2007


Tigers? Meh. Hellish hairy sea monster cast ashore.
posted by doublesix at 10:07 PM on May 14


Dude! Clearly that is a aquatic graboid!
posted by kosher_jenny at 12:52 AM on May 15, 2007


Thanks to Pravda, Tigers are now Number Two on my List of Underwater Animals To Be Sure Never to Fuck With.

Pravda also provided Number One.
posted by hifiparasol at 1:29 AM on May 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


I wonder why they look so angry.

I think they look so fierce because their muzzles are all wrinkled and scrunched up in order to seal their nostrils against the water. Notice that you can't see their ears in any of those photographs. I'm betting they can seal those down against the water too. Also, they could be opening their jaws that wide so that the sudden inflow of water will carry the piece of meat in.

Makes me think hunting in water is part of their built-in repertoire.
posted by jamjam at 2:10 AM on May 15, 2007


gsteff : "I wonder why they look so angry."

This is a completely unsubstantiated guess, but could they be snarling as a way to close off their nostrils?
posted by Drexen at 2:15 AM on May 15, 2007


... double-dang!
posted by Drexen at 2:15 AM on May 15, 2007


OH SHIT IT'S A TIGER GET BACK IN THE BOAT
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 3:36 AM on May 15, 2007 [2 favorites]


Or rather...
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 3:55 AM on May 15, 2007 [7 favorites]


So, you're saying I can't just jump in the nearest lake to escape the rampaging tiger? Terrific!
posted by Kikkoman at 3:56 AM on May 15, 2007


Wow, nifty pictures of tigers and ugly mysogny all in one package. You've gotta lothe the "that woman needs a good raping" line Zhirinovsky was spouting.

I always did like tigers, and while I knew they swam, I'd never seen any pictures of them underwater before (swimming on the surface, yes, underwater, no).
posted by sotonohito at 4:54 AM on May 15, 2007


Tigers clearly love baby flesh. Probably because of the marbling with streaks of fat and veal like upbringing. So soft and delicious.
posted by srboisvert at 5:07 AM on May 15, 2007


Hmmm... *bookmarks pravda.ru/photo*
posted by afx237vi at 5:41 AM on May 15, 2007


Just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water!
posted by Pollomacho at 5:45 AM on May 15, 2007


When I lived in DC, I used to go to the National Zoo on a fairly regular basis. When it was hot, the tigers were nearly always in their moat, playing with their pool toy (an empty beer keg).

Sometimes, my (non-tiger) cat likes to climb into the shower with me. He'll sit at my feet and get completely soaked.

Cats are odd.
posted by rtha at 5:47 AM on May 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


Obligatory: In post-soviet Russia cat loves water! What a country!
posted by Pollomacho at 5:47 AM on May 15, 2007


"A fucking tiger, fucking tiger...I don't wanna take this goddamn shit man...I didn't come here for this, I don't fucking need this. All I wanted to do is fucking cook, I just wanted to learn to fucking cook. Allright, It's allright, it's gonna be all right...never get outta boat...Hi tiger, hi tiger..."
posted by kirkaracha at 5:53 AM on May 15, 2007


Metafilter: Beheaded human body can stay alive and kicking.
posted by lukemeister at 6:11 AM on May 15, 2007


Sadly, Nirvana was told by the label that while they liked the theme, to find a more 'accessible' album cover...
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 6:13 AM on May 15, 2007


In that last Pravda link, Pravda misnames Phineas Gage as Finley Gage. I'm starting to doubt the accuracy of that Condi Rice story.
posted by gsteff at 6:14 AM on May 15, 2007


Er, the beheaded people link.
posted by gsteff at 6:15 AM on May 15, 2007


Definite diving skills. I want to see the photos of their ninja skills and bowhunting skills. Are we sure they're not ligers?
posted by GuyZero at 6:16 AM on May 15, 2007


Invisible Wall! props to kosher_jenny
posted by GuyZero at 6:20 AM on May 15, 2007


Thanks, obedo - I'm glad to hear they're in a tank. When I first saw these I was a little worried about the sanity of the photographer - or I thought maybe this was one of those shoots where they only found the camera later. . . much later.
posted by mygothlaundry at 6:44 AM on May 15, 2007


the "Best One" looks like a Japanese painting of a tiger

I thought so, too. Maybe all of those old Japanese paintings were done underwater.
posted by COBRA! at 6:45 AM on May 15, 2007


rtha I never had a cat who liked to be in the shower, but I had one who liked to sit on the edge of the bathtub sometimes. At least, she did until one day she fell in. Somehow she was out so fast that I swear only her paws were wet...

I did have a cat once who always waited beside the shower whenever anyone was taking one. This cat thought that the best thing in the universe was to bite people's calves after they got out of the shower. Not hard, she didn't want to hurt you apparently. And only after a shower, she never bit anyone any other time.
posted by sotonohito at 6:53 AM on May 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


I did have a cat once who always waited beside the shower whenever anyone was taking one. This cat thought that the best thing in the universe was to bite people's calves after they got out of the shower. Not hard, she didn't want to hurt you apparently. And only after a shower, she never bit anyone any other time.

The more and more I think about it, this cat is on to something.
posted by cowbellemoo at 7:57 AM on May 15, 2007


Tiger, tiger soaking wet,
In on photo, on the 'net
What deluded, screwed-up fool
Made you jump into that pool?
posted by PlusDistance at 7:58 AM on May 15, 2007 [8 favorites]


I'M IN UR POOL WAITIN FOR YOUR TODDLERZ
posted by thekilgore at 8:10 AM on May 15, 2007 [2 favorites]


I used to know a cat who would sit outside the shower while someone was in it; he'd scream and holler and meow. We imagined he was yelling "Are you ok? Oh my god! You're covered with that horrible wet stuff! Get out! Hurry!"

Apparently, tigers don't think this.
posted by rtha at 8:38 AM on May 15, 2007


I had a cat who would hide behind the nearby window curtain whenever you took a shower. Of course, her little paws poked out the bottom; she wasn't real good at hiding. If you pretended not to see her when you got out, she would run up and swat you (claws retracted) as soon as you turned your back. Then, if you meowed at her, she would meow back urgently. All this, only post-shower.

I don't know what this all meant, but I guarantee it would have been bloodier if she were a tiger.
posted by LordSludge at 9:21 AM on May 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


Today I learned that tigers have buoyant butts.
posted by jamaro at 9:38 AM on May 15, 2007


I'M IN UR POOL, MAKIN' SCARY FACES AT UR CAMERA
posted by jennaratrix at 10:03 AM on May 15, 2007


Tigers love water. So do jaguars. I'm surprised that so many of you are surprised by this.
posted by tadellin at 10:30 AM on May 15, 2007


INVISIBLE RESPIRAT- aw dammit.

Lovely pics!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:31 AM on May 15, 2007


From what I understand, Tigers enjoy the water, and are quite good swimmers.

Bengal tigers are known to spend the heat of the day in pools or streams, waiting for things to cool down before heading out for dinner (i.e. a goat or you or me).

Some housecats are also OK being more or less wet. I had a Maine Coon that had no trouble being out at night in a typical Seattle 38 degree rain.

He actually seemed to enjoy it.
posted by Relay at 10:39 AM on May 15, 2007


OK, wait, seriously - HELLISH HAIRY SEA MONSTER?!?!?!

My Google skills are not helping - must know more! Why can I find nothing else about this? (I will assume ikt's some weird hoax, but still.....)
posted by tristeza at 10:43 AM on May 15, 2007


Hmm, I sense a plan forming. It involves a big pool, tigers, saddles, and brave people willing to race it what could only be called the most dangerous sports competition ever...

I'll get back to you with the details later.
posted by quin at 12:03 PM on May 15, 2007


I'm in your Pool
posted by filmgeek at 12:19 PM on May 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


these are really amazing.
posted by unknowncommand at 12:28 PM on May 15, 2007


OK, wait, seriously - HELLISH HAIRY SEA MONSTER?!?!?!

My Google skills are not helping - must know more! Why can I find nothing else about this? (I will assume ikt's some weird hoax, but still.....)


Yeah, seriously, great pics, awesome swimming tigers and all...but what IS that hairy sea monster thing?
posted by LeeJay at 2:16 PM on May 15, 2007


DO NOT WANT!

MAI BUBBLZ!!
posted by deborah at 2:33 PM on May 15, 2007


I'm sick and tired of these m. . . . oh nevermind. . .
posted by Danf at 3:26 PM on May 15, 2007


what IS that hairy sea monster thing?
It could be a Sea Turtle. Compare this picture with the sea monster. It seems very big though. Maybe it was really swollen up with sea water. [via]
posted by tellurian at 8:58 PM on May 15, 2007


The hairy sea monster (HSM) looks like a severely decayed species of baleen whale, probably a humpback, judging from the proportion and length of its very long fins. It's on its back in the pics--dead whales flip over due to the accumulation of gasses in the stomach much like your basic deceased carnival prize goldfish and often end up washed ashore in that postion. Here's the ventral groves of a dead humpback which looks much like the grooves seen on this view of the HSM. The mouth of the HSM looks very much like a whale's beak which has rotted off almost back to the throat opening (the jawbones and tongue are missing); the hairs inside are the remaining rows of baleen (which, like hair, are made of keratin).
posted by jamaro at 11:04 PM on May 15, 2007 [2 favorites]


jamaro, I think you might be right about this one. Thanks!
posted by LeeJay at 11:25 AM on May 16, 2007


Wow jamaro, thanks. I guess I shouldn't have been taken in by the captions that read "four paws" and "long fur" ::shudder::
posted by tristeza at 11:37 AM on May 16, 2007


Yeah, I'd say that you're right too jamaro. It's a shame though, I'd like to imagine that there are turtles that size cruising around in the ocean.
posted by tellurian at 4:23 PM on May 16, 2007


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