Comments on: Let's play a smoking game and a drinking game.

Let's play a smoking game and a drinking game.

OverlappingElvis — Wed, 16 May 2007 12:45:28 -0800

Horses are not always good role models. Just in case you thought the craziness was limited to this one book, the authors proudly present a "true crime" glimpse into a shadowy world of... okay, I actually have no idea what they're talking about. Ah, the joys of vanity publishing.

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Wed, 16 May 2007 12:53:43 -0800

I was unaware that drug and alcohol abuse was so endemic among the equine-American population.

By: pax digita

pax digita — Wed, 16 May 2007 12:58:26 -0800

Words fail me utterly.

By: mr_roboto

mr_roboto — Wed, 16 May 2007 12:59:01 -0800

"The author would like the thank God. 'Thank you, God.'"

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Wed, 16 May 2007 13:00:04 -0800

"The Brooks children be lied on..."

By: homunculus

homunculus — Wed, 16 May 2007 13:01:03 -0800

Horses are not always good role models Neither are donkeys (possibly nsfw).

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 16 May 2007 13:03:58 -0800

Tremendous. *smokes drugs, drinks*

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Wed, 16 May 2007 13:09:06 -0800

I wonder if horses also sniff glue. And if that would be cannibalistic.

By: 2sheets

2sheets — Wed, 16 May 2007 13:12:06 -0800

Stocks? Stocks you? I have no idea.

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Wed, 16 May 2007 13:12:18 -0800

Those investigators really need to stop stocking the Brooks family.

By: MarshallPoe

MarshallPoe — Wed, 16 May 2007 13:12:36 -0800

Am I supposed to laugh at the people who wrote these things? Is that the deal? Needs an "I'mbetterthanyou" tag, or maybe an "LOLdumbpeople" tag.

By: Floydd

Floydd — Wed, 16 May 2007 13:14:05 -0800

That's why I don't smoke pot anymore, it always makes me a little horse.

By: quin

quin — Wed, 16 May 2007 13:19:19 -0800

When suddenly Johnny gets the feeling he's being surrounded by horses, horses, horses, horses coming in in all directions white shining silver studs with their nose in flames, ... There's a little place, a place called space It's a pretty little place, it's across the tracks, Across the tracks and the name of the place is you like it like that, You like it like that, you like it like that, you like it like that, -Patti Smith, Land When I think drugs and horses, this is the song that comes to mind.

By: routergirl

routergirl — Wed, 16 May 2007 13:22:01 -0800

They lies! Thank you, this was an excellent way to pass the time on a very slow day.

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 16 May 2007 13:27:55 -0800

Am I supposed to laugh at the people who wrote these things? Is that the deal? No, at the things written. I'm assuming that Sylvia Scott Gibson is a nice woman and a good mom, but Latawnya is intensely badly written. It's awkward and absurd, and the imagery of horses getting high (and even ODing!) just pushes it over the top. The Brooks stuff looks like, well, more bad writing, but there's no horses in sight and so it doesn't do as much for me.

By: infinitywaltz

infinitywaltz — Wed, 16 May 2007 13:38:03 -0800

I'm glad you can all laugh at this. James Horse's friend died, and you're all laughing. A horse died. Sometimes Metafilter disgusts me.

By: infinitywaltz

infinitywaltz — Wed, 16 May 2007 13:38:59 -0800

Seriously, though, I want to read more about the Brooks family. It's fascinating in a tinfoil hat sort of way, with investigators "stocking" the family and "telling lies on" them and such.

By: Trinkers

Trinkers — Wed, 16 May 2007 13:39:16 -0800

This boggles the mind. Horses...holding joints...in their hooves...

By: mattholomew

mattholomew — Wed, 16 May 2007 13:53:36 -0800

It be bad that the Brooks children be lied on...and 'stocked'. Bad, it be!

By: MarshallPoe

MarshallPoe — Wed, 16 May 2007 13:55:09 -0800

Q: Am I supposed to laugh at the people who wrote these things? Is that the deal? A: No, at the things written. I imagine that is a distinction without a difference to Gibson and Brooks. This is just plain old "making fun" of folks, pure and simple. That said, they published this stuff, so they should have known what to expect from MeFi's cruel cultural critics.

By: 2sheets

2sheets — Wed, 16 May 2007 14:00:36 -0800

"This is just plain old "making fun" of folks, pure and simple." You say that like it's a bad thing. Oh, and seriously, it took me this long to figure out that "stocking" = stalking, so I'm not so bright either.

By: dorian

dorian — Wed, 16 May 2007 14:01:04 -0800

don't miss the audio book version...

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Wed, 16 May 2007 14:04:28 -0800

The hook horses, don't they?

By: felix grundy

felix grundy — Wed, 16 May 2007 14:05:28 -0800

Mother horse, Sylvia, and Father horse, James look like they're about to bite a lesson into Latawnya the naughty horse on p. 28, despite the author's claims that they're about to share horse hugs and kisses. Repentance isn't enough, Latawnya! First you need a lengthy period of us pretending to forgive you while still bringing up our disappointment at the least provocation, and sometimes demonstrating it with our giant horsey teeth! Thus setting up the second book in the series, Latawnya, the Naughty Horse, Learns to Say "Jeezus, Mother horse, Sylvia, and Father horse, James, are you ever going to let this go?"

By: Floydd

Floydd — Wed, 16 May 2007 14:13:42 -0800

When all else fails, we can whip the horse's eyes, and make them sleep, and cry.

By: MikeMc

MikeMc — Wed, 16 May 2007 14:19:45 -0800

Latawnya the Naughty Horse, Learns to Say "No" to Drugs If only Latawnya's naughty father had learned to say "no" to "Mr. Hands".

By: felix grundy

felix grundy — Wed, 16 May 2007 14:19:54 -0800

The Brooks book is written by Sylvia and James Gibson, so I am beginning to suspect that this Latawnya book is a chilling morality tale made expressly for Latawnya, the naughty human. Also, that audio book is amazing. Full stop.

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 16 May 2007 14:27:05 -0800

That said, they published this stuff, so they should have known what to expect from MeFi's cruel cultural critics. Should there be some special prohibition for self-published authors, though? Execrable fanfic, bad corporate web design, mindboggling stump-speech gaffes, tone-deaf commentary: all of these things are fair game, on mefi and in the greater blogosphere, and of course they'll attract riffing. I'm sincere in the distinction between work and author, and feel there is a difference: reading this thread might hurt Sylvia's feelings, but no more so than a scathing review on Pitchfork or a round of mockery on a design forum might hurt those of a self-published musician or an upstart web designer; risk of laughing, critical reaction comes with the putting-it-out-there package. It says nothing of the worth of the author or musician or designer as a person, just the work that they put out there. I don't mean to say that that condones nastiness from being nasty, or the jabs from being a triumph of self-satified glee over empathy, but this (where this = mefi or this = the internet) is not and never has been a place beholden to egg-shell-treading supportgroupism. It may be a little crass, sure, but I don't think it's malicious or unusual.

By: pelican

pelican — Wed, 16 May 2007 14:29:37 -0800

i agree with felix about the audio book... it completed the experience... now i'm moving on. thanks ovrlppngElvis.

By: katillathehun

katillathehun — Wed, 16 May 2007 15:09:24 -0800

Needs an "I'mbetterthanyou" tag, or maybe an "LOLdumbpeople" tag. Well, how cute is that? Matching pots and kettles, everyone!

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Wed, 16 May 2007 15:09:41 -0800

You know, if you publish crap, you deserve to be made fun of. Really. Not everyone is a writer.

By: pupdog

pupdog — Wed, 16 May 2007 15:11:59 -0800

Am I the only one that sees this as James Horse trying to redeem himself for letting his friend Charlie OD back in high school? If only he'd had the guts back then, Charlie would be alive, and Latawnya could have a smoke with her friends without him getting all up in her face about it...

By: CCBC

CCBC — Wed, 16 May 2007 15:26:46 -0800

Latawnya's story reminds me of that great kid's book, Ricky, the Carnivorous Pony, featured in this movie and apparently an inspiration to many.

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Wed, 16 May 2007 15:34:46 -0800

quin writes 'When I think drugs and horses, this is the song that comes to mind.' I'd always assumed that the hallucinations were a consequence of Johnny's being stabbed, but looking at the lyrics, perhaps he doesn't get stabbed at all? Perhaps he gets raped? I always wondered what the Twistelettes would sound like as well.

By: quin

quin — Wed, 16 May 2007 15:52:43 -0800

Yeah, I always sort of assumed it was an Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge kind of thing as well where the story spins out of control the closer he gets to death, but there does seem to be some strong drug overtones in there as well. The best use I've ever seen for the song was during the second season finale to Millennium, where one of the characters slowly loses her mind. They used the entire song for the sequence, which I always felt was quite clever coming from a sound-byte obsessed culture.

By: porpoise

porpoise — Wed, 16 May 2007 16:07:18 -0800

Hey, I only gave them the drugs to convince one of them to get in a threeway with a me and a donkey.

By: Sparx

Sparx — Wed, 16 May 2007 16:14:16 -0800

In September my cousin tried reefer 4 the very first time Now he's doing horse, it's June sign o the times

By: Floydd

Floydd — Wed, 16 May 2007 16:15:57 -0800

Hey, I only gave them the drugs to convince one of them to get in a threeway with a me and a donkey. A lot to go through for a piece of ass, but I heard the horse did it on porpoise.

By: roll truck roll

roll truck roll — Wed, 16 May 2007 16:31:54 -0800

Ah, vanity publishing. The really sad cases are the ones who don't stop at the $500 for publication, but keep shoving more money into the system for "advertising" and "book tours." I've even seen a few of these people sitting behind tables at smalltown bookstores on their bullshit tours. I'd imagine that that's when the reality of how badly you've been duped sets in.

By: roll truck roll

roll truck roll — Wed, 16 May 2007 16:42:46 -0800

Addendum: Which is not to say that self-publishing is a unilaterally bad idea. Just design the book yourself, print it at Kinkos, and get far better results for 1% of the price the vanity presses charge. There are even some legitimate small presses who outsource their out-of-print books to Lulu and iUniverse, just so that they stay available forever.

By: pax digita

pax digita — Wed, 16 May 2007 16:44:24 -0800

I wonder if horses also sniff glue. And if that would be cannibalistic. I wonder if it'd be cannibalisitic if they shot heroin.

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Wed, 16 May 2007 17:06:52 -0800

Hey... and what if heroin was actually MADE OUT OF HORSES!?

By: booksandlibretti

booksandlibretti — Wed, 16 May 2007 17:13:20 -0800

Isn't this the third thread from Something Awful that's been posted within the last week or so? It might be funny, but if you like Something Awful's humor that much, you probably saw it at their site, fifteen days ago. And if you like their humor that much but didn't see this before, well, you might want to start visiting their site.

By: hydrophonic

hydrophonic — Wed, 16 May 2007 21:36:02 -0800

If you want to ride, don't ride the white horse.

By: Jimbob

Jimbob — Wed, 16 May 2007 22:10:12 -0800

They shoot heroin, don't they?

By: QuietDesperation

QuietDesperation — Wed, 16 May 2007 22:13:13 -0800

Okay, anyone? No? Then it's up to me, I suppose: Metafilter. Making fun of folks, pure and simple.

By: Citizen Premier

Citizen Premier — Wed, 16 May 2007 23:19:46 -0800

Would it be cannibalism if Wonder Woman injected heroine?

By: andraste

andraste — Thu, 17 May 2007 00:03:06 -0800

I'm still trying to work out how to pronounce 'Latawnya'.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 17 May 2007 06:52:29 -0800

Really? "luh-TAHN-yuh".

By: Esoquo

Esoquo — Thu, 17 May 2007 07:20:09 -0800

I can't read this at work, it's making me laugh too hard.

By: munchingzombie

munchingzombie — Thu, 17 May 2007 09:24:17 -0800

Sylvia Scott Gibson is Mercedes Lackie's ghost writer for sure.

By: KokuRyu

KokuRyu — Thu, 17 May 2007 11:25:05 -0800

Naughty horses make my heart race faster.