Sexual Education 101: Sex And Your Daughter/Son

May 23, 2007 12:45 AM

Sex And Your Daughter / Sex And Your Son. For those who are too afraid to talk their children about sex. (mp3's)
posted by bigmusic (17 comments total)

"Now look at drawing number three. There's an opening in your mother's body, between her legs, that can expand a great deal." "Now this is the wonderful thing called birth."

Um... yeah. I love how he "explains" things without *actually* explaining them.
posted by lodev at 1:18 AM on May 23, 2007

Hmm. A place old men can lay back and reminisce about sock hopping and introducing their daughters to sex. What an incredibly creepy way to start my day. Thanks
posted by BostonJake at 3:04 AM on May 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

Hmm. A place old men can lay back and reminisce about sock hopping and introducing their daughters to sex. What an incredibly creepy way to start my day.

1 user marked this as a favorite
posted by three blind mice at 3:33 AM on May 23, 2007

"We have a hard time keeping her in clothes."

I bet you do. I BET YOU DO.
posted by emelenjr at 4:43 AM on May 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

I have been told that you are not supposed to have sex with your son or daughter.
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:49 AM on May 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: That's the reason why you should wear an athletic supporter when you're playing football or baseball or . . . any other strenuous sport.
posted by mmcg at 5:29 AM on May 23, 2007

My daughter is not going to have sex because the day she turns twelve she's going into a convent. I've told her that nuns get to wear really cool clothes, eat ice cream all day, and ride their own pet unicorns. She's very excited. Problem solved.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 6:09 AM on May 23, 2007 [5 favorites]

I'll be happy to "talk" to your daughter about sex.

Presuming, of course, that she's over, say, 22 years old, sufficiently attractive, and not prone to drunk-dialing me at 3am.
posted by LordSludge at 6:10 AM on May 23, 2007

What's sex? No, really. I think I've heard of it.
posted by miss lynnster at 7:57 AM on May 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

Presuming, of course, that she's over, say, 22 years old...

You're excluding four great years of legality!
posted by T.D. Strange at 9:36 AM on May 23, 2007

As far as I know, every spring the birds come out and the bees try and have sex with them.
posted by Dark Messiah at 9:40 AM on May 23, 2007 [2 favorites]

Baywatch beat these folks to the lesson. Correct, Borat?
posted by nofundy at 10:59 AM on May 23, 2007

"Well, when a stork and a cabbage love each other very much, they get together and have sex. Then the half-strings of DNA from the stork combine with the half-strings of DNA from the cabbage, and that produces a fetus. The stork takes the fetus, in the dead of the night, and visits a woman and puts the fetus into her uterus, or "baby oven," as the scientific community calls it. There, the fetus grows to a manageable size, about the size of a softball. Then it eats its way out of the woman's stomach and skitters off into the ventilation ducts, where it needs to be hunted down and killed before it can grow to full size. This is usually accomplished by a girl with an underbite, in her underwear."--Josh "Mr. Skullhead" Nite
posted by rifflesby at 12:31 PM on May 23, 2007 [3 favorites]

Turtles all the way down said: My daughter is not going to have sex because the day she turns twelve she's going into a convent. I've told her that nuns get to wear really cool clothes, eat ice cream all day, and ride their own pet unicorns. She's very excited. Problem solved.


Yeah...my parents thought that too. Until I came back from the school with blue hair, a tattoo and a nose ring. Much like Brer Rabbit, I was all "Oh noes, please don't send me to London!". Heh.
posted by dejah420 at 1:03 PM on May 23, 2007

T.D. Strange: You're excluding four great years of legality!

I know, but I was trying not to be all creepy.
posted by LordSludge at 1:07 PM on May 23, 2007

I know, but I was trying not to be all creepy.

Failed!
posted by WinnipegDragon at 6:35 PM on May 23, 2007

Since I'm already creepy, I have a cute 19 yo on myspace I should probably get back with. What should I be this time... 23?

(Or should this go in the green?)
posted by LordSludge at 9:32 PM on May 23, 2007