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I like to make sexy time!
May 23, 2007 11:25 AM   Subscribe

The UBC Cognitive Neuroscience Laboratory has an online sex survey to take. If you've got an hour to spare, the Sex Research Team at the University of British Columbia needs YOU. Go to www.christofflab.ca/sexstudy to take an anonymous sex survey. VIA
posted by KokuRyu (51 comments total)

 
Site's broken.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:28 AM on May 23, 2007


eh, any survey to be taken at ChristOfFlab.ca can probably wait, at any rate.
posted by vorfeed at 11:32 AM on May 23, 2007


It's for the best, I don't trust that Christ of Flab cult and their so-called "neuroscience."
posted by nanojath at 11:32 AM on May 23, 2007


I felt that way once, but when my gut died and then rose again on the third day, my eyes opened wide.
posted by COBRA! at 11:48 AM on May 23, 2007 [1 favorite]


The site doesn't seem to be doing well. (And, in trying to track down a bit more about it, I came across this bizarre aside.)
posted by cortex at 11:50 AM on May 23, 2007


Two broken links in one FPP. At least we have the VIA.
posted by dead_ at 11:51 AM on May 23, 2007


Lazarus?
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 3:38 PM on May 23, 2007


Links are kicking; the post liveth again.
posted by cortex at 3:41 PM on May 23, 2007


goodnight sweet thread.
posted by sgt.serenity at 3:44 PM on May 23, 2007


Hey--don't be hatin', that my alma mater! Not the goddam psychology department, though. And the links don't work again.

Aw, go ahead--hate and delete away. Sorry Koku.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 4:21 PM on May 23, 2007


p.s. Yours in Christ (of flab)
posted by Turtles all the way down at 4:22 PM on May 23, 2007


Well, that was a depressing survey.

I think I've shared too much.
posted by chrismear at 4:38 PM on May 23, 2007


Well that should put an interesting tick in their averages LOL. Is it trolling the surveyors just to tell the truth about yourself?
posted by localroger at 4:55 PM on May 23, 2007


Yeh, skew their sample out of any semblance to the real world by inviting MeFites to fill in the survey. I'm sure they'll be eternally grateful.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:58 PM on May 23, 2007


Is it just me or was that survey waay too long. I gave up after they asked me the same damned thing for the third time. Are they just trying to keep the responders honest? because that's pretty annoying.
posted by juv3nal at 5:06 PM on May 23, 2007


juv3nal, it's several different comprehensive inventories. There is a bit of overlap on the questions but each inventory is presented separately (the question order can affect results).

At the end they tell you how you compared on each index to established averages and the averages of their participants to date, also with some info about how some of the inventories might be biased.
posted by localroger at 5:13 PM on May 23, 2007


Your average weekly Total Sexual Outlet is 8.
Your lifetime maximum Total Sexual Outlet is 8.

The current mean average weekly TSOs for men and women in this study are 5.6 and 5.2, respectively. The current mean average maximum weekly TSOs for men and women in this study are 10.9 and 7.3, respectively.


Me love you long time.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 5:31 PM on May 23, 2007


At the end they tell you how you compared on each index to established averages and the averages of their participants to date, also with some info about how some of the inventories might be biased.

I was getting a bit weary myself, but the scores page at the end was interesting and worthwhile.

A "happy ending"?
posted by gimonca at 5:39 PM on May 23, 2007


Me love you long time.

Yeah, or you're just having a wank every day (and one extra on Sundays).
posted by chrismear at 6:02 PM on May 23, 2007


Okay, no (or at any rate, few) surprises there....
posted by pax digita at 6:26 PM on May 23, 2007


Yeah, or you're just having a wank every day (and one extra on Sundays).

Me love me long time.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 6:42 PM on May 23, 2007 [1 favorite]


Yay for sexology studies! Such an unappreciated and poorly funded field of research.
posted by Menomena at 6:51 PM on May 23, 2007


You scored 4 on the Sexual Satisfaction Subscale.
The current average scores for men and women in this study are 7.6 and 7.4, respectively.

Shut the hell up, damn survey.
posted by T.D. Strange at 7:18 PM on May 23, 2007 [1 favorite]


Wow. I scored on the high end of everything and doubled the Total Sexual Outlet. And here people usually think I'm a clueless virgin... bwahahahaha, I have them all fooled!
posted by SpecialK at 7:21 PM on May 23, 2007


I too found it depressing. It's hell being old.
posted by davy at 7:43 PM on May 23, 2007


Truth or dare: who'll be the first to post their full responses?
posted by moonbird at 7:45 PM on May 23, 2007


Go, me! Way to be above average in most areas! Especially in the sexual information and sexual experiences facets! And ... er ... the fear of losing an erection bits, too. It says I'm a bit low on the sexual desire. But I already knew that.

Man, that survey was long.
And hard.
And probing.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 7:47 PM on May 23, 2007


Truth or dare: who'll be the first to post their full responses?

When I finished, it just sort of blinked a few times and then said, "really? I mean, I—you're not shitting me, right?"

And then it sort of looked at its shoes, and chewed its lip for a little bit. And then, coyly:

"Are you doing anything later?"
posted by cortex at 7:48 PM on May 23, 2007 [2 favorites]


Yep, that was really depressing.
posted by majick at 7:51 PM on May 23, 2007


The funny thing is that there are interesting relationships between some of my answers which the format of the questions cannot possibly sort out. I think the object of piling on so many scales was to try and work that out but it still won't work. The slot for a sexually and politically progressive liberal sadist just isn't in there. I suspect the computer will look at a lot of my "contradictory" answers and cry WTF.
posted by localroger at 7:53 PM on May 23, 2007


I came across this bizarre aside.

And she's pretty attractive, in that cognitive neuroscientist sorta way.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 7:56 PM on May 23, 2007


Question: Is the pleasure a woman gets from sex related to the size of the man's penis? T/F

Short answer: yes.
Long answer: it is releated to the relative size of the man's penis compared with the penis of the guy the man stood next to the last time he used the unrinal in the bar.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 8:02 PM on May 23, 2007


Samuel Farrow, I don't see too many erect penises at the urinal row.
posted by localroger at 8:06 PM on May 23, 2007


Re: multiple DEPRESSING

Geez, being a pervert FUCKING RULES. I think about sex more, get more orgasms (even if a lot of them are from my right hand), I know more about sex, and I have actually managed to find a committed partner to help me actualize my perversion. I cannot figure out how to adequately describe the majesty of my totally dominant (in an appropriately sexual setting) self. Except to mention that it has nothing to do with the size of my dick.
posted by localroger at 8:13 PM on May 23, 2007 [1 favorite]


The Great Big Mulp: Yep, I genuflected and gave myself up to that survey. Damn near got a woodie from doing so. But alas it didn't have a whip to back up its authoritah.
posted by localroger at 8:21 PM on May 23, 2007


I don't see too many erect penises at the urinal row.

You must be using the wrong bathrooms.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 8:21 PM on May 23, 2007


Mulp: wrong bathrooms. Hmmm. I think I'll keep it that way. (Pervert yes, but also relentlessly heterosexual despite having a pervert's respect for other perverts to exercise their perversions, what with the Golden Rule and all that.)
posted by localroger at 8:25 PM on May 23, 2007


Well, I hate my body, never worry about an erection, will apparently do about anything, am way too active (solo and with others), don't have any negative opinion about anything sexual, never get enough, and have done too much.

Sounds about right.

Is that sad or what?
posted by Samizdata at 9:00 PM on May 23, 2007


Oh, and I'm fat...
posted by Samizdata at 9:01 PM on May 23, 2007


Dude don't worry about it as apparently size doesn't matter.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 9:13 PM on May 23, 2007


"Geez, being a pervert FUCKING RULES."

Yes. Yes it does. However, this emphatically does not rule:

"Your average weekly Total Sexual Outlet is 1.
Your lifetime maximum Total Sexual Outlet is 12.

You scored 3 on the Sexual Satisfaction Subscale."


Hence: Depressing.
posted by majick at 9:17 PM on May 23, 2007


Man, this is loooooong. It should really tell you how far through you are at every page.
posted by patr1ck at 11:34 PM on May 23, 2007


I'd post my results, but it'd look like I was bragging.

Which I would be.
posted by po at 11:55 PM on May 23, 2007


My current average weekly Total Sexual Output is my maximum average weekly.

It is good to be king.
posted by blacklite at 11:56 PM on May 23, 2007


I tried to make it all the way through but I got too horny.

*brb*

better
posted by chillmost at 1:28 AM on May 24, 2007


I am soooo going to treat my partner to something special. I score TEN on the satisfaction scale. Nice having what I already knew 'confirmed'. Maybe I should raise that scale :-)

I'm totally perverted! Hitched for 10 years, and couldn't be more satisfied. Bwhahahaha. If everyone was as lucky as me, we'd see an end to war, I'm certain.
posted by Goofyy at 5:22 AM on May 24, 2007


My results make me out to be a combination of Peter Braunstein and Phyllis Schlafly. So it's somehow wrong to fantasize about bestiality but not want to have sex outside? So I prefer domesticated animals. Big whoop.
posted by veronica sawyer at 10:14 AM on May 24, 2007


Depressing.

*goes into corner, cries*
posted by jokeefe at 10:39 AM on May 24, 2007


Your average weekly Total Sexual Outlet is “Goat.”
Your lifetime maximum Total Sexual Outlet is “Barrel full of Monkeys.”

The current mean average weekly TSOs for men and women in this study are “Fighter Pilot” and “Cat Woman”, respectively. People like you make us here at cristofflab sick. Please send photos.


What an odd survey. I don't get it.
posted by BostonJake at 1:17 PM on May 24, 2007


I would like to have helped, but I couldn't even make it through the first sex related page. I'm supposed to rate my desire from 1-8? Doesn't seem like something quantifiable, sorry.
posted by ODiV at 2:14 PM on May 24, 2007


I couldn't fucking take it. Academics need to learn to calm the fuck down in asking questions. Seriously, after about the 500th question I said forget this shit, I have something better to do - like surf porn.
posted by Muddler at 1:32 AM on May 25, 2007


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