Inside the Creation Museum
May 29, 2007 7:24 AM   Subscribe

For those of you curious about the newly opened $27 million dollar Creation Museum, but unable or unwilling to travel to Kentucky for a visit, Zachary Lynn has posted a photo essay of his visit (sadly missing is the opening diorama or human babies playing with dinosaurs).
posted by jonson (83 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
 
Weird and creepy. Awesome find!
posted by fallenposters at 7:29 AM on May 29, 2007




The Dinosaur Den was closed off, but I peaked around some corners to see some reconstructed dinosaurs (including a triceratops and a tyranosaurus rex) as well as skeletons of other dinos. The room was two stories.

And a sign which reads "This Space Still Evolving."

I like a fundie with a sense of humor.
posted by three blind mice at 7:39 AM on May 29, 2007


Sheep: GOD, PLEASE CREATE WOMAN ASAP
posted by brain_drain at 7:41 AM on May 29, 2007 [12 favorites]


lol, xians.
posted by Dave Faris at 7:47 AM on May 29, 2007


Time Tunnel
A tripy light tunnel, filled with tiny dots of stars, "transports" you back to the first days of creation.


Something tells me I would not enjoy enhancing my trip to the Creation Museum with hallucinogens.
posted by kosem at 7:48 AM on May 29, 2007


Somebody is walking around with $22 million in their pocket. There is no way that Country Bear Jamboree knock-off cost $27 million to build.
posted by ND¢ at 7:53 AM on May 29, 2007 [2 favorites]


Time Tunnel
A tripy light tunnel, filled with tiny dots of stars, "transports" you back to the first days of creation.

Something tells me I would not enjoy enhancing my trip to the Creation Museum with hallucinogens.


My God, it's full of believers...

I'm sad this guy didn't have time to visit the cafe spaces, I was hoping for a review of the 'Loaves and Fishes' Sandwich (served, of course, with Miracle Whip), or possibly Esau's Beef Stew...
posted by pupdog at 7:56 AM on May 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


Old Testament Heroes
Left-to-right: Osama Bin Laden, Cat Stevens, George Harrison
posted by Mayor Curley at 8:03 AM on May 29, 2007 [7 favorites]


This exhibit does not say that creationism is the correct choice (where, obviously, it must be--this is the Creation Museum), but instead seems to be trying to only allow creationism to be equal to evolution.

Ah, the insidiously innocent-sounding "only". The problem with creationism isn't that it's wrong. The problem with creationism is that it isn't even science. Therefore being "equal to evolution" (as "just a theory", I presume) is worse that simply stating that creationism is right. Just saying that creationism is right and evolution is wrong only destroys one theory. Saying creationism is science destroys science itself.
posted by DU at 8:05 AM on May 29, 2007 [2 favorites]


I love it. Its so serious it comes off as a dry parody of the creationist movement. Its practically mad magazine.
posted by damn dirty ape at 8:05 AM on May 29, 2007


It has to be true. Everybody knows the Middle East is crawling with fair skinned, straight haired people. White Jesus is their direct descendant.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 8:06 AM on May 29, 2007


The (slightly more polite) Ten Commandments.

I remember back in my childhood I was forced off to some sort of summer Bible School by my parents. At said Bible School they asked us to come up with an 11th commandment that we thought God could have added (as if we 10 year olds were more wise than the Creator or something). While the oter kids said stuff like, "Thou shall not lie." or "Thou shall be kind to puppies." and whatnot, my eleventh was:

"No shirt, no shoes, no service."

The teachers were not amused.
posted by Pollomacho at 8:06 AM on May 29, 2007 [4 favorites]


I came across a link to this article last night on some blog (Alterman's?) It's about the same 'museum', but goes on to place it within a larger, even dumber context.
posted by trondant at 8:07 AM on May 29, 2007


I love it. Its so serious it comes off as a dry parody of the creationist movement. Its practically mad magazine.

I was thinking more Idiocracy.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:09 AM on May 29, 2007


"Left-to-right: Osama Bin Laden, Cat Stevens, George Harrison"

Alright, MC, you can just bloody well post your real world address RIGHT NOW because somebody's gonna get the bill for cleaning all this damned coffee off my monitor and outta my keyboard.
posted by Mike D at 8:10 AM on May 29, 2007


Hey look! There the Creator himself now!
posted by Pollomacho at 8:15 AM on May 29, 2007 [2 favorites]


Previously. Poor Dinny.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:19 AM on May 29, 2007


"Miracle Whip". Yes.
posted by DU at 8:21 AM on May 29, 2007


"No shirt, no shoes, no service."
I always thought that'd be a great sign on a church.
posted by MtDewd at 8:24 AM on May 29, 2007


Those "Gods Word" v. "Human Reason" placards are a real treat. Creationism seems so much more logical to me now that I've seen that ruler-straight line connecting man & God - Oh, if only I had seen this chart before my science teachers led me astray with empirical evidence. And my skepticism just dissolved, I'll tell you, at the mention of Creation's "rapid processes." So not only is Evolution a dirty librul lie, it's inefficient!

Thank you, creation science.
posted by EatTheWeek at 8:28 AM on May 29, 2007


Sadly, no one on the internet seems to be talking about the food at Noah's Cafe beyond one repeated story about the 'Before the Fall' Salad with 'Ice-Age' Iceberg lettuce, and a couple of pics of branded bottled water.

The rest of that photo set looks interesting too, just going through it now. There's a nice note on one pic about the condiments not being from the "liberal Heinz corporation, but from the conservative Gordon Food Service out of Grand Rapids, MI. Just a coincidence? :)".
posted by pupdog at 8:29 AM on May 29, 2007


"ODIN!"

It's very hard to refute that logic.
posted by Dave Faris at 8:40 AM on May 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


During my recent trip to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History I overheard a mother say to her son who was 4 or 5 years old, "In this museum they don't believe that God created everything like we do"... Can you imagine the synergy when in this museum you overhear...' In this museum they think dinosaurs and cavemen lived together, like in the Flintstones'
posted by Gungho at 8:41 AM on May 29, 2007


We Kentuckians are sooooo proud ...
posted by jbickers at 8:43 AM on May 29, 2007


Yabba dabba do!
posted by trondant at 8:44 AM on May 29, 2007


XQUZYPHYR - that was great! I especially like the final panel and how the debate continues.

"ODIN!!"
posted by EatTheWeek at 8:48 AM on May 29, 2007


"We Kentuckians are sooooo proud "

I second jbickers. However, I've been somewhat relieved to hear news reports refer to this as being in "Suburban Cincinnati".
posted by Mcable at 8:53 AM on May 29, 2007




This is great. I want to go. Hit the alternate reality trifecta: this, Nixon Library, Graceland.

When I was first in college, we used to get creationist evangelists passing out lit on campus all the time. I was a biology student, and first semester bio for majors is all about the evolution. I asked a teacher -- do you ever get students who don't believe in evolution? She said, "Sure. But that's not my problem. They don't have to believe it, but if they want to pass the class they have to know it!"

I wish K-12 public education could be counted on to take the same stance.
posted by Methylviolet at 9:05 AM on May 29, 2007


Was Disney world not enough for you Americans?

Mike Judges Idiocracy is creeping closer and closer.

Scary.
posted by homodigitalis at 9:09 AM on May 29, 2007


Oh my god, I just remembered something I haven't thought about in years. When I was a little kid, my dad, who got off on this sort of thing, told me that men have one fewer rib than women, and that that is how the creation myth started. I totally believed it. I remember being in high school biology, looking at the skeletons, and going, wait a minute... grrrr Dad!
posted by Methylviolet at 9:13 AM on May 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


I can't speak for Kentucky, but living a couple hours north of this, I'm sure plenty of Ohioans will be eager to attend. I'm tempted too, if only to marvel at the evident effort that's been put into this.
posted by pax digita at 9:13 AM on May 29, 2007


A friend of mine has college students that use the *fact* that men have one less rib as proof of Genesis. Then he has them count ribs on classmates...
posted by notsnot at 9:16 AM on May 29, 2007


Sheep: GOD, PLEASE CREATE WOMAN ASAP

limmasab
posted by Mr_Zero at 9:16 AM on May 29, 2007


T. rex ate coconuts:
In Genesis 1:30 God gives 'green herb' to every creature to eat and so there were no predators. When a curious museum visitor asks, why exactly T. rex had six-inch long serrated teeth, the guides go on to explain that T. rex used his big teeth to open coconuts.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:17 AM on May 29, 2007 [2 favorites]


At some point, isn't it just a lot easier to deny the dinosaurs? I mean, what are they anyway, but a bunch of big bones lying around. If you're going to disregard most of the empirical evidence anyway, why not go whole hog?
posted by jenkinsEar at 9:17 AM on May 29, 2007


Even fundamentalists understand kind bud.
posted by Dave Faris at 9:18 AM on May 29, 2007


Damn. From the waist up, Eve was pretty fine. Though from the waist down, she looks kinda like a bicycle rack.
posted by quin at 9:20 AM on May 29, 2007


Damn. From the waist up, Eve was pretty fine. Though from the waist down, she looks kinda like a bicycle rack.

Later on, she starts to look more like Janis Joplin, it seems...
posted by pupdog at 9:25 AM on May 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


Was Disney world not enough for you Americans?

I think Disney is actually slightly worse than this.

Besides, you live near the creepy flying thing from The Neverending Story. It's creepy.

From the waist up, Eve was pretty fine. Though from the waist down, she looks kinda like a bicycle rack.

Dude, you should not be ogling your great-great-great-great-great-great-[etc.]-great-great-great-grandmother's rack.
posted by oaf at 9:28 AM on May 29, 2007


The problem with creationism isn't that it's wrong. The problem with creationism is that it isn't even science.

It is very much science because it makes a series of testable predictions, all of which are easily falsified, such as that the Earth is 6,000 years old.
posted by euphorb at 9:28 AM on May 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


Besides, you live near the creepy flying thing from The Neverending Story. It's creepy.

Yeah, but nobody classifies it as 'science', nor did it come from God.
posted by homodigitalis at 9:30 AM on May 29, 2007


"I thought the whole evolution thing was awesome. That took some serious work to put together, you know? But do they sing 'Glory to God on high, praise the Lord for evolution, which was awesome'? No! They spend millions of dollars on museums just to tell everybody how I just, like, waved my arms around and made it happen. Like frickin' Harry Potter or something - which, by the way, I'm a huge fan of." --God
posted by katillathehun at 9:40 AM on May 29, 2007 [9 favorites]


Good things don't end in "-eum". They end in "-mania" or "-teria".

lol xians, indeed.
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:46 AM on May 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


Another Kentuckian here, wondering how bad things must be for me to consider moving to Tennessee fer gawd's sake.

If these kooks believe in "Rapid Processes," shouldn't they, rather than shrug it off as a naturally occurring process, be scared shitless of climate change?
posted by dgbellak at 9:48 AM on May 29, 2007


It looks like some thinking human beings with spare time held a rally at the museum yesterday, but my google-fu fails to find any reports from the rally -- just that video. Anyone having better luck?

Oh, and homodigitalis, it's probably best to lay off the rest of us Murrkans and maybe express some solidarity. Most of us aren't fans of this kind of tripe, and some of us are actively fighting it.
posted by gurple at 9:49 AM on May 29, 2007


In Genesis 1:30 God gives 'green herb' to every creature to eat and so there were no predators. When a curious museum visitor asks, why exactly T. rex had six-inch long serrated teeth,

...the guide replies "the better to open the holy bag of Doritos every creature wants to eat after the green herb...IYKWIMAITTYD...dude".
posted by biscotti at 9:53 AM on May 29, 2007


"Suburban Cincinnati"

Hey! Stop that now.
posted by Mick at 9:57 AM on May 29, 2007


I predict that this will replace Wall Drug as the place college students drive to from a day's distance to get really high and walk around looking blown away.
posted by The Straightener at 10:02 AM on May 29, 2007


From kirkaracha 's Guardian Unlimited link:
"But what, I ask wonderingly, about those fossilised remains of early man-like creatures? [The museum's designer Patrick] Marsh knows all about that: 'There are no such things. Humans are basically as you see them today. Those skeletons they've found, what's the word? ... they could have been deformed, diseased or something. I've seen people like that running round the streets of New York.'"
Uh, what?
posted by ericb at 10:05 AM on May 29, 2007


It is very much science because it makes a series of testable predictions...

It makes one prediction: There's an invisible sky giant who created everything. When asked to point to this giant, the answer is "he's invisible". In fact, the claim is that he is invisible to tests in principle. That's not testable.
posted by DU at 10:07 AM on May 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


A blast from the past:

"Heritage USA opened in 1978, and by 1986 was one of the top vacation destinations in the nation, right behind Walt Disney World and Disneyland, attracting nearly 6 million visitors annually and employing more than 2,000 people."

I wonder how successful this place will be, for how long, and what sorts of scandals we can look forward to.
posted by pax digita at 10:09 AM on May 29, 2007


I wonder when the first themed wedding will be held at this place. Nothing like tying-the-knot in the presence of Adam, Eve and the Holy Tyrranosaurus Rex!
posted by ericb at 10:17 AM on May 29, 2007


biscotti,
Here's one report on the protests. Come for the article, but stay for the comments, such as:

It's when people stop using there brains that the world falls apart it was Christian's that brought about Science you can't have science without God it Just doesn't make logical sense. Finally somone making a good use of ther brains it is very illogical to belive in Evolution.
posted by Otis at 10:18 AM on May 29, 2007


Sorry, that was meant for gurple.
posted by Otis at 10:20 AM on May 29, 2007


Wait... If Noah got some baby dinosaurs on the ark, why don't we still have them around?
posted by onhazier at 10:22 AM on May 29, 2007


Wow. Thanks, Otis. I especially like the all-caps comments.
posted by gurple at 10:24 AM on May 29, 2007


Wait... If Noah got some baby dinosaurs on the ark, why don't we still have them around?

They got their noses smacked every time they tried to eat Noah's family, so they eventually just ate each other.
posted by katillathehun at 10:30 AM on May 29, 2007


We just got one of these in Alberta (May 28th link, RealAudio stream).

I heard an interview with the proprietor this morning who indicated that cave paintings which depicted Dinosaurs proved humanity coexisted with Dinosaurs, because (and I quote): "you cannot draw what you have not seen".

Tell that to my 4-year old...
posted by jkaczor at 10:44 AM on May 29, 2007


We just got one of these in Alberta

Wow, it looks like they're still beating the 'bacterial flagellum' dead horse. You'd think they'd at least find some new arguments periodically after their existing ones are shot down so thoroughly.
posted by gurple at 11:11 AM on May 29, 2007


This photo shows the moment when Eve appeared in the Garden of Eden, still in her original packaging.

Why is Eve's hair so much longer than Adam's? He was created first, and before she arrived there was no one else around to cut his hair, so shouldn't his hair be longer? And why is she covering her boobs with her hair? Since they aren't wearing clothes, this is when they weren't ashamed of their nakedness.

At some point, isn't it just a lot easier to deny the dinosaurs?

No. They're the lure to draw dinosaur-loving kids into the museum. Come for the dinosaurs, stay for the quack science and religious propaganda.

I thought the dinosaurs attacked Noah's Ark as the flood began in a no-holds battle to the finish.
posted by kirkaracha at 11:12 AM on May 29, 2007


By Thursday, people all over the world will be emailing these photos to their contact lists and LOLing about how America has been taken over by fundie morons.

*is depressed*

I was talking about politics in the pub the other night and some guy I didn't even know got all emotional on me because he said I was the only rational American he'd ever met. The moron hadn't met any Americans before! He's just bought into the media image of an America peopled by idiotic flag-waving zealots.

I'm usually happy to correct people, but it's get old.

I need a fucking Canadian passport so I can have a day off once in a while.
posted by chuckdarwin at 11:23 AM on May 29, 2007


"No shirt, no shoes, no service."

I believe the Simpsons' take on this was
"No shirt, no shoes, no salvation."
posted by bxg at 11:57 AM on May 29, 2007


How painful is it to readjust and/or expand your mind?

Very, I should think. It ought to be humbling to realize you have feet of clay and terrifying to think how your ignorance and prejudice have informed how you may have treated or failed to treat others. (Viz. Paul on the road to Damascus.) Marx was wrong: Cognitive dissonance is the real opiate of the masses, not merely religion.

Fortunately or unfortunately, a lot of folks get to cling to a kindergarten version of their belief system because it tells them not to inquire critically -- "Answers in Genesis," indeed. No further thinking necessary nor desirable. Plus it's less work overall to accept what somebody else is telling you than to sit and try to puzzle it out for yourself.
posted by pax digita at 12:01 PM on May 29, 2007 [2 favorites]


From Otis's link

Posted by: LTA Location: Ky
THE BIBLE SAYS THAT IN THE LAST DAYS THER WILL BE THINGS LIKE THIS POP UP KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE KEEP FOCUS KEEP THE FATH AND DONT BE DECIVED THE MORE THEY TRY TO PROVE THE BIBLE WRONG THE MORE THEY RELIZE ITS RIGHT WE WILL PRAY FOR YOU AND DONT WORRIE THE MUSEUM WONT LAST LONG HE AS IN GOD WILL INTERVIEN AND IT WILL BE GONE JUST REMEMBER I SAID SO THATS HOW HE WORKS


Which I believe says everything that needs to be said.
posted by quin at 12:12 PM on May 29, 2007


Wow, that reads like Weedmaster P wrote it.
posted by pax digita at 12:23 PM on May 29, 2007


I know what really wiped out the dinosaurs...
posted by sparkletone at 12:34 PM on May 29, 2007


T. rex ate coconuts:
In Genesis 1:30 God gives 'green herb' to every creature to eat and so there were no predators. When a curious museum visitor asks, why exactly T. rex had six-inch long serrated teeth, the guides go on to explain that T. rex used his big teeth to open coconuts.
Howls of derisive laughter!
posted by dougzilla at 1:00 PM on May 29, 2007


650 miles, including food, bathroom and gas stops, not to mention, you know, the return trip, is a "day's drive" if you decide your day doesn't require sleeping once you park. If they're saying 650 miles is "convenient" then I hope Noah's Cafe is going to serve booze.

I think that 650 miles (roughly 10 hours) is not so much a day trip than a "long weekend." Take Friday and Monday off, spend Saturday at the museum, Sunday at a Reds game (after church, of course).

Really, the area is even day-hopable for a good space. Four hours gets you to Indianapolis, Louisville, Lexington, Columbus, Cleveland, and Detroit. Chicago, Nashville, St. Louis, and Pittsburgh aren't too far out of that range. If you are looking for a good place to put as the center of a circle, the Cincinnati area certainly qualifies.

(I spend my days using that fact to justify bringing real business here.)
posted by MrGuilt at 1:13 PM on May 29, 2007


Wow, that reads like Weedmaster P wrote it.

You sir are my new best friend...

The question i've never seen answered, or at least every time I've asked it I've just gotten weird looks, not a real answer-

Noah had 2 of everything, right? On a boat, which is by necessity watertight.

How did they handle all the, uh, animal by-products?
posted by pupdog at 1:35 PM on May 29, 2007


the Earth is 6,000 years old.

Fools! They can't even get the details of Creation right! It's a disgrace, really. It's well known that the earth is 6009 years (plus 8 months, 5 days, 12 hours, 53 mintes as of now) old by now.
posted by sfenders at 1:52 PM on May 29, 2007


*cough*
posted by ninjew at 1:53 PM on May 29, 2007


(oops, I think I was off by an hour)
posted by sfenders at 1:54 PM on May 29, 2007


6009 years... so I was off by a few days actually, given that the date of Creation was calculated in the Julian calendar. Plus it depends what time zone God was using. Still, it's 6009 years and a bit, or else 7205 years, depending whose version of history they're supporting. They could've been more specific about that. They could add a whole room devoted to the history of calculating the date of Creation.

But anyway, I was glad to see pictures of the museum. I heard about it on the radio, but without photographic proof it was hard to believe that it actually existed.
posted by sfenders at 2:08 PM on May 29, 2007


So I have some coins under the couch cushions, who wants to chip in for a Flying Spaghetti Monster museum?
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 2:35 PM on May 29, 2007


pupdog, if the specs Noah was given didn't include a bilge eductor, it would've gotten mighty grim aboard the Ark by about halfway through day 1 -- and I'm sure Shem, Ham and Japeth were eight-on/twelve-off on the pumping detail.

Also, Weed would've cussed a lot more, yes no?
posted by pax digita at 3:02 PM on May 29, 2007


And probably stopped to shoot at least one sucker, pax digita, but you take what you gets in this life...
posted by pupdog at 3:52 PM on May 29, 2007


How much money and glitz does it take to institutionalize a scientific lie?

Ouch. A surprisingly deft indictment from a Public Radio contributor.
posted by mmrtnt at 6:41 PM on May 29, 2007


My god, it's so cheesy! A funky little religious disneyland for the sheeple.
posted by chance at 7:37 PM on May 29, 2007


Fucking retarded.

God save us from the religionists.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:42 PM on May 29, 2007


Taking its cue from the previous room, this area describes the idea of different "starting points" in more detail by giving specific examples.

Yes. Starting points do make a difference! In science, you start with observable phenomena, form a testable hypothesis as to how it came to be, test it, and either reject or refine your original hypothesis. In Creationism, you start with what you want to believe is the case, then make up an explanation for it and reject all evidence that does not support your conclusion. Which is to say, almost all evidence.

I almost made this very post the day the CM opened, only I was going to contrast it with the Field Museum's new exhibit, Evolving Planet. I had the pleasure of visiting this exhibit last month and was astounded at its quality and depth. It would be just about impossible to walk through that exhibit espousing a Creationist world-view and not be forced to modify your position based on the overwhelming and clearly presented amount of evidence the exhibit contains. It is very sophisticated, and along with top-level labelling containing a description of what happened during each evolutionary time period, there is a small kiosk with a video interactive labeled "How Do We Know?" in which film shows actual researchers who carefully explain the scientific processes they use to discover information about the state of life on Earth during distant times. At about a third of the way through, any person who can spell his or her own name is already in awe of the vast knowledge human beings have built up about our existence and the times that came before, and it is made very clear that the entire world scientific community is in full agreement that this is the deal.

There is no space in the exhibit given to 'alternate theories' -- in fact, there is a strongly worded label at the beginning about what a scientific theory truly is, that it is the best and most up-to-date comprehensive explanation of a phenomenon that has stood the most tests, and that there is no other theory that can compete with evolutionary theory in explaining the history of life on earth. This page on the website gives a sense of the serious stance the exhibit takes:

"Q: How do I compare the theory of evolution with intelligent design?
A: You can’t. The theory of evolution is supported by rigorous scientific research. Intelligent design and creationism are not within the realm of science and are best characterized as faith-based belief systems."

Since I'm in the museum field, it often drives me crazy that there are no stipulations as to who can use the word "Museum" to describe their institution. Places like the Field Museum are legitimate academic and research institutions with an educational public collection and a vested interest in accuracy. Places like the Creation Museum are tourist attractions and nothing more. It's too bad that in the minds of many, if it's in a museum, it must be true.
posted by Miko at 8:19 AM on May 30, 2007


Uh-oh -- the actor (Eric Lnden) who plays/played Adam in a Creation Museum video exhibit has been denounced for his "his sexual exploits online and modeling for a clothing line that promotes free love."

Where's Ted Haggard when we need him -- err, I mean "Tinky-Winky" ... err .. What The Fuck Would Jesus Do?
posted by ericb at 9:13 PM on June 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


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