March 3, 2001

8:42 AM

The Surrendered Wife continues the recidivist trend in best selling "self-help" books by urging wives to "avoid criticising him... and give him lots of oral sex." Can anyone explain why this nonsense sells so well?
posted by Chairman_MaoXian (13 comments total)

Self help books Sell. This book sells for women. It's sales are perhaps encouraged by me for the "lots of oral sex" tsuggestion. I had once been told by a woman of some experience that by offering lots of that aforementioned, she could get guys to do just about anything she wanted of them. Hence, the two "key" items seem to go hand in hand. If recidivism is good for women, how about men going back to older values, whatever they might have been?
posted by Postroad at 9:34 AM on March 3, 2001

Hmm... wife beating and spanking?
Anyway the woman that wrote that appeared on a lot of shows and stuff, from what I've heard not all that many consider her a quack, they even hail her as a feminist. And from what she and other have said I'm guessing that the book basically tells women to not try to change/train husband but let him be? This would lead to more happy homes/less divorce? I don't know how that goes but divorce rate is rising and all that... on the other hand that oral sex stuff...
posted by tiaka at 9:43 AM on March 3, 2001

Repost from January.
posted by MattD at 9:51 AM on March 3, 2001

Thanks MattD, I was in the process of finding the link.
posted by crushed at 9:55 AM on March 3, 2001

Sorry, I joined MeFi in February.
posted by Chairman_MaoXian at 9:57 AM on March 3, 2001

Mao, don't take it personally, it's not a rebuke by any means, just simply an effort to help keep discussions focused. I've done it at least a couple of times myself.
posted by MattD at 10:25 AM on March 3, 2001

Who cares if it's a Repost- I mean Accidentally...?
I hadn't seen it before and I've been here that long...
Now we're wasting time talking about this... arrrrgg
posted by metasak at 12:40 PM on March 3, 2001

It's a wonderful subject, and Chairman deserved an explanation as to why folks weren't crowding in here to discuss it. It's because we put an awful lot of emotion into it on the previous thread, even though it was a long time ago (in web terms, anyway).

There may be something in the other thread that's worth continuing. I think I said my piece. Let's just say that if I see this author on the playground, I'm gonna push her down.
posted by frykitty at 2:26 PM on March 3, 2001

This kind of thing is often popular because taking responsibility for your own life is hard, and giving up and letting somebody else take over is easy. Some people, men and women, are always looking for excuses to give up.
posted by David Gaddis at 4:50 PM on March 3, 2001

Excellent point, David, I totally missed that aspect of the piece.

Whatever happened to the concept of mutual respect? I couldn't live with a person whom I had no respect for and vice versa. Maybe I'm just too idealistic.
posted by Watcher at 1:26 PM on March 4, 2001

Give up "...and be sure to swallow."
posted by redleaf at 10:49 PM on March 4, 2001

i'm late to this conversation, especially seeing as it's a repost.

but anyway, there's one good point in all this, and that is of not trying to change your partner, not expecting them to improve, or become someone better. just accept them as you got them. works both ways that one.

to me the book just looks like a cunning marketing ploy to sell a simple, age old relationship skill, to people who haven't clicked yet.

oh and you can never go wrong with oral sex ;)
posted by titboy at 5:33 AM on March 5, 2001

I wonder how much of the sales can be attributed to gift-giving husbands?

"Happy Anniversary Honey... I got you something."
posted by mikewas at 11:37 AM on March 5, 2001