Pets for the rich
May 31, 2007 8:24 PM   Subscribe

Would you pay $22K for a designer Ashera "lifestyle" cat? ($6,000 extra if you don't want to wait 9-12 months for delivery)
posted by growabrain (73 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
uhm, no.
posted by spish at 8:28 PM on May 31, 2007


i can has kobe beef?
posted by one_bean at 8:30 PM on May 31, 2007 [9 favorites]


$22,000! LOL.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 8:32 PM on May 31, 2007


I wouldn't pay 22k for a human pet.
posted by rhizome23 at 8:39 PM on May 31, 2007


Darryl Hannah circa "Blade Runner", maybe...
posted by rhizome23 at 8:40 PM on May 31, 2007


I would pay 22k for a human pet!

Ashera is pretty cute, but my current shitty kitty is already cute. Dogs? "We are currently breeding a new very small dog" or some such shit.

There are some cool photos but this is a joke, eh?
posted by snsranch at 8:42 PM on May 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


No way. Well, I might pay 22k for a hypno-toad, but who wouldn't?

Seriously, there's countless cats and dogs who need a good home and you can have them for dirt cheap.
posted by chairface at 8:46 PM on May 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


For 22K, that cat better be shortlegged, hypoallergenic AND part-sardinian-lynx.
posted by xthlc at 8:46 PM on May 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Sadly, snsranch, the contact number sounded legit. I thought it was a joke too and called. We surely live in the best of all possible worlds.
posted by rhizome23 at 8:46 PM on May 31, 2007


Feed it coffee beans and you could make that initial investment back easily!
posted by gomichild at 8:48 PM on May 31, 2007 [5 favorites]


No. My kitty might not like
posted by longsleeves at 8:48 PM on May 31, 2007


I'm going to get cracking on a premium cone cow--you all can be in on the ground floor!
posted by everichon at 8:50 PM on May 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


LOL CATS.
posted by ORthey at 8:52 PM on May 31, 2007


Personally, I just shallowly drowned my own kittens in less than an inch of my toilet's water because they're apparently out of date. I'm "hawt" like that. Ladies....you know where to find my email and the zebra striped Dachshunds are in the post. I was never a cat guy to begin with.
posted by rhizome23 at 8:54 PM on May 31, 2007


Would you pay $22K for a designer Ashera "lifestyle" cat?

Okay. This is a "faux" site ... likely created as a take beyond lolcats and seeking to be a "meme" in the making. Call the telephone numbers on the site. I did ... and I am suspicious. Is it for a film, a televison show? Who knows. I remain very suspicious.
posted by ericb at 8:55 PM on May 31, 2007


ericb, if it's viral....well..damn...setting up an IVR just for a fake website? I hope you're right.
posted by rhizome23 at 8:57 PM on May 31, 2007


This may be be a parody on Allerca which has bred hypoallergenic cats, as profiled in Time Magazine's Best Inventions 2006 issue.
posted by ericb at 8:57 PM on May 31, 2007


Well, the Ashera certainly appears to be be a beautiful cat (although it's huge.... brings new meaning to the joking phrase "attack cat"!) but I find it disgusting that ANYONE would pay that much money for a cat when there are so many already in need of good homes. I also wonder about the mindset of the sort of person who would spend that kind of dough on a cat. Do they feel guilty when they (rarely) see a homeless person, or hear about children going hungry? .... probably not, but it's still not right.
posted by krash2fast at 8:58 PM on May 31, 2007


For the record (i.e. your 5 second attention span) I hope it's faux. I called the contact number and listened for about 10 seconds thought and it sounded superficially legit.
posted by rhizome23 at 9:00 PM on May 31, 2007


*This may be be*

Who's up for another round? It's on me.
posted by ericb at 9:03 PM on May 31, 2007


Domain Name: LIFESTYLEPETS.COM
Registrar: GO DADDY SOFTWARE, INC.
Whois Server: whois.godaddy.com
Referral URL: http://registrar.godaddy.com
Name Server: PARK13.SECURESERVER.NET
Name Server: PARK14.SECURESERVER.NET
Status: clientDeleteProhibited
Status: clientRenewProhibited
Status: clientTransferProhibited
Status: clientUpdateProhibited
Updated Date: 07-feb-2007
Creation Date: 07-feb-2005
Expiration Date: 07-feb-2009
posted by rhizome23 at 9:03 PM on May 31, 2007


So they bred a Savannah cat and Bengal and are charging several times the market value of either breed. BRILLIANT! This is why I'll never be rich; I just don't believe people would buy stuff like this. And I bet they will.

I'm going to go to the pound and get me some ICNH® cats and charge $50,000. Because they're rare and I'll have a flashy flash website.

And breed some designer dogs on the side too.

That's right, I'm going to be rich. Rich I say!
posted by [insert clever name here] at 9:04 PM on May 31, 2007


Err...I'm dumb, but that updated date is IN THE FUTURE!
posted by rhizome23 at 9:05 PM on May 31, 2007


nm..probably a domain renewal fee. i told you i was dumb.
posted by rhizome23 at 9:06 PM on May 31, 2007


No way. Well, I might pay 22k for a hypno-toad, but who wouldn't?

The blind?
posted by Malor at 9:07 PM on May 31, 2007


This is worth 22k.
posted by rhizome23 at 9:08 PM on May 31, 2007


Tuition of course.
posted by rhizome23 at 9:10 PM on May 31, 2007


at this price get a lynx
posted by zouhair at 9:13 PM on May 31, 2007


O.K. Well, in all honesty. Were I wealthy and a generous patron of the arts and a generous philanthropist, I'm pretty sure I would buy this cat.

It looks fricking awesome.
posted by oddman at 9:13 PM on May 31, 2007


Pfft, big stripey cats? The Aussie desert makes those for free, providing you don't mind them wiping out your fauna or ripping off your arm.

Hmm...maybe I should just export them as Australian Desert Cats and make my million?
posted by Jilder at 9:15 PM on May 31, 2007


Would some one mind alerting the LOLCAT brigade that they need to shit this thread into oblivion with redundant meme mimicry? No offense to the original poster, but this just ain't right.
posted by rhizome23 at 9:17 PM on May 31, 2007


Can I get it stoned?
posted by strawberryviagra at 9:18 PM on May 31, 2007 [2 favorites]


I think these are made by Allerca, just like the hypo-allergenic cats.
posted by Justinian at 9:20 PM on May 31, 2007


If it's fake, they've taken in several news outlets like MSNBC.

It really is a quasi-exotic: a blend of the African Serval and the Asian Leopard Cat (but the Leopard itself is a separate genus), then bred with a domestic cat, resulting in a 30-pound package of sleek style. I hope they're as domesticated as the housecat, though.

Now, interestingly, the leopard gets its name because it was thought to be a hybrid of the lion and the panther, but this turned out not the case. The leopard cat, however, provided the basis for the Bengal housecat breed. The Bengals were created by a Los Angeles cat breeder, whose daughter is now responsible for bringing the Bengal to its apotheosis -- the Toyger. Which, by the way, does not cost $22K.
posted by dhartung at 9:21 PM on May 31, 2007


Hmmm ... may I now be permitted to straddle the fence (and possibly stand corrected for my initial doubt) regarding the validity of 'Ashera?'

I now am witness to the following press coverage [hopefully/likely vetted] --

MSNBC: A Colossal Cat Comes with a Princely Price Tag.

FOX News: Would You Pay $22,000 for a Cat?

Seattle Post Intelligencer: New Breed of Cat Retails for $22,000.
posted by ericb at 9:21 PM on May 31, 2007


Gorgeous cat.

But thirty pounds of cat? No thanks.

(we've already got about 30 pounds' of cat, distributed across three felines - you really don't want all of them sleeping on you at once.)
posted by rtha at 9:22 PM on May 31, 2007


If it's fake, they've taken in several news outlets like MSNBC.

Or, what dhartung said the same minute I said it!
posted by ericb at 9:25 PM on May 31, 2007


Well...we all knew that pussy was expensive.
posted by rhizome23 at 9:26 PM on May 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


So they bred a Savannah cat and Bengal and are charging several times the market value of either breed. BRILLIANT! This is why I'll never be rich; I just don't believe people would buy stuff like this. And I bet they will.

My thoughts exactly, and before I had even read your comment, I attempted to look up domestically bred servals to see if perhaps they'd just cut out the middleman.

Not knowing how to spell "serval", my first google search was for "SERVILE BREEDER". First hit that came up was "Christian Coalition of America".

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
posted by macrowave at 9:26 PM on May 31, 2007 [3 favorites]


My plebeian sensibilities are outrageously offended. I demand hot wings and natural selection.
posted by rhizome23 at 9:31 PM on May 31, 2007


It says you can take this 22K-ittah for a walk on a leash. I have seen people do with with less expensive cats.

Seems like such a good idea. Until you have to get the cat down from the tree and try to keep it from hanging itself on the leash.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 9:34 PM on May 31, 2007


Jilder. Please send me a giant desert cat. Maybe two. That's incredible.

PS: Uhm, let's start with kittens. I probably don't want one that's already 30 pounds of desert-fiesty.
posted by loquacious at 9:35 PM on May 31, 2007


The dog placeholder image looks like a Westie.

Put me on the list for a desert cat, too. Black, like the one in the pics.
posted by Liosliath at 9:42 PM on May 31, 2007


A Simon Brodie scheme. "In recent weeks, Allerca and Brodie have been promoting franchises to sell the company's allergen-free cats and what it claims is a newly created breed called the Ashera. Neither cat is commercially available."
posted by tellurian at 9:43 PM on May 31, 2007


dhartung: I hope they're as domesticated as the housecat, though.


Chances are, probably not. Bengals are fairly close to domestic cats, though owners say they are more intense and destructive than your standard house cat. Savannahs, on the other hand, are pretty much wild cats.

oddman: O.K. Well, in all honesty. Were I wealthy and a generous patron of the arts and a generous philanthropist, I'm pretty sure I would buy this cat.
Then you'd be a rich sucker since you can get basically the same cat for $500 - $1000. But I guess the price tag is what is getting everyone's attention.

. . .

GAH. The more I think about this, the more its pissing me off. Its no better than a scam, and to add insult to injury, major news organizations are picking it up.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 9:43 PM on May 31, 2007


My pet is representative of my exclusive lifestyle. Suck it, losers. Value is created via being. I shall stroke my luxurious spotted cat decadently. Love ya, America. Keep paying the bills.
posted by rhizome23 at 9:48 PM on May 31, 2007


More where you came from, no doubt.
posted by rhizome23 at 9:50 PM on May 31, 2007


On a lighter note, my goal in life is to clone my penis as a sentient, ambulatory, and self directing being so that it may impede the self esteem of 18 year old female athletes. Like Cthulhu but with more dick and less annihilation.
posted by rhizome23 at 9:53 PM on May 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Bah. I'd rather have a Margay or a Sand Cat.
posted by mullingitover at 10:20 PM on May 31, 2007


I'm digging the counter-thread rhizome23's got going here, all about his lust for that California highschool pole vaulter chick. It's like a packetized ASCII gif for this gosh-darn goofy topic.

My own cat cost $0 and he's a pretty damn good boy.
posted by facetious at 10:23 PM on May 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


1.) Toyger are beautiful, but stripes on a domestic cat don't make it worth anything more than what I can get at the Humane Society.

2.) Assuming that Australian Desert Cats actually exist, we have a new exotic breed that will sell in the thousands.

3.) And if we combine the ADC with a Russian fishing cat, it is possible we could have the best 'big cat' who lives in your home, ever.

4.) it should be noted that as good as all these cats could be, none of them will ever be as good as a Siamese. It's the perfect animal.

Currently, my Siamese cat is biting my head. They are perfect and they are angry. If we mean to beat them, we will lose.
posted by quin at 10:32 PM on May 31, 2007


I'm not sure if I want a fishing cat or the polevaulter.

Both look cuddly and warm. Both are probably fun to wrestle with. Both would look nice in a bathtub. It's a puzzler alright.

Stitches aside, big fuzzy cats are just neat to play with.
posted by adipocere at 10:49 PM on May 31, 2007


Hello? Did anyone see tellurian's comment above? This is a fucking scam.
posted by puke & cry at 11:03 PM on May 31, 2007


That cat will kill you in your sleep, man.
posted by lanycwriter at 11:32 PM on May 31, 2007 [1 favorite]


Just add an 'h' and you can have me for a mere $5K...
posted by Asherah at 12:29 AM on June 1, 2007


Or just sit back and wait until the purchasers of this vanity pet abandon them to shelters when they realize they're going to do far more than sit prettily on the end of a leash. Then, for standard adoption fee, you can have thirty pound of cat stomping on your nards at three in the morning.
posted by louche mustachio at 1:58 AM on June 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


The cat's facial expressions are so great. He's such a fucking prince, and he just knows that's it's gonna be fucking awesome to shit in a gold-plated litterbox.

Also, my cat came from a Bushwick trashcan. He's way cooler.
posted by Sticherbeast at 3:25 AM on June 1, 2007


Well I've been considering exotic cats for a while now. The prices I've seen from the few legit breeders are closer to $5k.

Ian Anderson (of Jethro Tull) rather fancies his exotics.
posted by Gungho at 4:22 AM on June 1, 2007




Only a matter of time before someone tweaks a kitty to remain a kitty. Small, cute, playful...
posted by fluffycreature at 4:33 AM on June 1, 2007


I wouldn't pay money for a cat unless it brought me truffles and champagne in bed.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:30 AM on June 1, 2007


Sooo...$66,000 is mine if I can find a trio of sufficiently large feral cats...

...and that's in your fancy American money...

*heads to Coober Pedy*
posted by Jilder at 6:42 AM on June 1, 2007


I have Maine Coons. The males run 15 - 20 pounds. I can say with some certainty that an intelligent cat that weighs 20 pounds and still has a kitten's playfulness is a very dangerous thing. 30 pounds would be inconceivable. Why not just cut out the breeder and trap a lynx or a bobcat?
posted by Ber at 6:47 AM on June 1, 2007


I can say with some certainty that an intelligent cat that weighs 20 pounds and still has a kitten's playfulness is a very dangerous thing. 30 pounds would be inconceivable. Why not just cut out the breeder and trap a lynx or a bobcat?

Seiously. I have found 20 pounds of cat (okay, 19 pounds six ounces, really) to be quite enough, thanks.

(He's trying to sit in my lap right now. Please send help.)
posted by hilatron at 7:03 AM on June 1, 2007


Would I buy one of these things? I dunno - what do they taste like?
posted by kcds at 8:19 AM on June 1, 2007


How well would it get along with your poodle?
posted by howling fantods at 9:52 AM on June 1, 2007


I don't understand people who buy dogs and cats, except possibly hobbyists. Maybe I'm too judgemental but whenever I find out somebody bought their animal from a breeder my opinion of them drops just a little. Why save a life when your pet can be serve as a status symbol?

Also I HATE anything that's marketed using the word "lifestyle".
posted by Jess the Mess at 12:17 PM on June 1, 2007


Maybe I'm too judgemental but whenever I find out somebody bought their animal from a breeder my opinion of them drops just a little.

This one can be a bit tricky. There are plenty of reasons to want a specific breed. Cattle dogs for example have specific traits that are useful to farmers in a way that a sight hound or a scent hound won't be. Additionally, some people seek pets with a certain disposition; I know that a basset-hound is going to be lower energy than a rat terrier, and if I want a dog, but require one that will be calmer, it makes sense to know what I am getting.

Another reason to use breeders is that they are quantifiable. If you walk into a breeders house and the animals are not in exceptional good health, there is no reason to bother doing any further business. Dealing with a breeder lets you know that the ancestors of the animal you are considering have been healthy and are not prone to pass on congenital defects.

This latter point is particularly important in this day and age of things like puppy-mills where the point is profit over the well being of the animal.

All that said, I love me some mutts (both cats and dogs) and would encourage everyone to use the Humane Society or any other rescue if they are considering a pet don't require a specific trait.
posted by quin at 1:15 PM on June 1, 2007


Just get an ocelot. My mother was friends with a lady who owned an ocelot. It had a jeweled collar and she would take it for walks downtown.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 2:37 PM on June 1, 2007


I had a cat that looked a whole lot like that. We called it a tabby.
posted by Orrorin at 6:01 PM on June 1, 2007


I'm familiar with Ocelots. My childhood neighbors had an Ocelot (and a cougar and a lioness) and it was the nastiest, hissiest thing. The cougar, on the other hand, was very friendly, 3rd generation domestic, and it purred. It also gnawed furniture. The lioness was too old to really engage in anything but sleeping and eating.

If I had the money and the inclination, I'd pay $22K for that cat just as I would pay that (and more) for a piece of art or a lavish excursion. It'd be a fascinating experience to own such an animal. Yes, I'd be unhappy if it was an animal with bad habits or turned out to be dangerous but, I've had both of those happen when buying cars for that much and more.
posted by bz at 6:21 PM on June 1, 2007


Dear lifestylepets.com:
The world does not need a new breed of very small dog.

Sincerely,
Some guy who lives next to a woman with 5 very small dogs

P.S. Oh god fuck they won't stop barking fuck I'll blow up her house I swear fucking FUCK
posted by tehloki at 8:03 PM on June 2, 2007


Tehloki, I'm only mentioning this as a matter of interest, not a suggestion to perpetrate criminal activity, but have you ever read Roald Dahl's Danny the Champion of the World? Say, right around pages 96-7.
posted by Liosliath at 9:56 PM on June 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm googlebooking it as we speak.
posted by tehloki at 2:07 PM on June 3, 2007


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