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So, you like the brownie edge, eh?
June 8, 2007 8:48 PM   Subscribe

Heck of an edge, brownie! The perfect tool for making sure all your brownies have edges.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (69 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite

 
I want!
posted by portisfreak at 8:53 PM on June 8, 2007


Pepsi br... wait, do you have brownies?
posted by monju_bosatsu at 8:53 PM on June 8, 2007


Now they just have to make one in the shape of a marijuana leaf, and they'd be sitting on a goldmine.
posted by neckro23 at 8:59 PM on June 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


A review on the site says it's good for lasagna too. I'll take twelve please.
posted by YamwotIam at 9:03 PM on June 8, 2007


Edgy.
posted by wendell at 9:03 PM on June 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


god damn people. brownies. with edges. think of the ramifications.
posted by boo_radley at 9:04 PM on June 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


Now you can OD and not worry about soft edges!
posted by Samizdata at 9:04 PM on June 8, 2007


No, no, no! This is like selling a special condom just for masturbation. Who wants the tough, crunchy edge of the brownies? You want the soft, gooelicious middle. If they could make a pan with no edges, then they'd be talking.
posted by Methylviolet at 9:06 PM on June 8, 2007 [13 favorites]


Yes, Methylviolet! Where is my no-edge pan?? And for god's sake, no butt pieces. Corners: brownie blasphemy. Now, if someone would make, like, an all edge Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, I would be all over that.
posted by peep at 9:10 PM on June 8, 2007


No, no, no! This is like selling a special condom just for masturbation. Who wants the tough, crunchy edge of the brownies? You want the soft, gooelicious middle. If they could make a pan with no edges, then they'd be talking.

That's just crazy talk.

Plus, it's the differences in texture that make it worthwhile.
posted by pupdog at 9:10 PM on June 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


Methylviolet is wise beyond her years. She of the edgeless pan. She of the soft gooelicious middle.
posted by vronsky at 9:12 PM on June 8, 2007 [3 favorites]


Blond brownies to Paris H.
posted by longsleeves at 9:14 PM on June 8, 2007


Q: You like brownies? You are a person who likes the brownies that we are currently eating?
A: Yes! I like brownies!
Q: You like brownies! In fact, you are a person who likes brownies as much as a prostitute likes sex!
A: YES I LIKE BROWNIES AS IF IT WERE MY PROFESSION!! TELL ME MORE ABOUT IT
Q: YOU ENJOY THIS BROWNIE YOU SEXY SEX PERSON
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:27 PM on June 8, 2007 [13 favorites]


On one hand: I love the idea, and want one very much.

On the other hand: A one link post to a product that is for sale? Seems spamtastic to me... hmm.
posted by twiggy at 9:42 PM on June 8, 2007


Growing up, all of our Brownies had edges. Big, hard, sharp, bitching edges. They would cut you if you screwed with them. It was the Weeblo scouts that were a little bit soft.
posted by jbickers at 9:47 PM on June 8, 2007 [6 favorites]


On the other hand: A one link post to a product that is for sale? Seems spamtastic to me... hmm.

M. Blatcher is probably a reader of the SVN blog from 37signals.
posted by mkb at 9:48 PM on June 8, 2007


This is so awesome.

Now, instead of fighting over the precious corner pieces, we can fight over the even more precious three-edged pieces!
posted by darksasami at 9:56 PM on June 8, 2007


The link text made me LOL.

*eats another magic brownie*
posted by pruner at 10:02 PM on June 8, 2007


It's custom-molded to fit my intestines. Now to invent the gullet speculum to process such a log.
posted by pantsonfire at 10:04 PM on June 8, 2007 [3 favorites]


I'm sorry but someone could do fpp one link to a PHOTO of a brownie and I wouldn't flag it. 'Cuz... I mean... BROWNIES. ARE. MY. FAVORITE. mmmmmmmm. Hypnotastic chocolate goodness.
So weak. So very very weak.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:15 PM on June 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


Pepsi br...

Pepsi, uh, brue?
posted by The Deej at 10:22 PM on June 8, 2007


Methylviolet is right! The edges suxxorz. I like the gooey middle pieces.

Hmm...if you could bake brownies on the surface of a sphere, you'd have no edges!

*runs off to patent the baking sphere*
posted by darkstar at 10:59 PM on June 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'll take "Why Early 21st Century Western Civilization is Doomed" for $1000, Alex.
posted by doublesix at 11:09 PM on June 8, 2007


Recipes, please! Think of the brownies. Pans are worthless without recipes. The world is full of mediocre brownie recipes. I need good ones. Nothing too soft or too hard.

The quality of edgy brownies is dependant on the recipe. With some, they are truly wonderful. With others, the middle is far preferable.

Are brownies better with, or without, nuts? I'm especially fond of walnuts myself, but currently live where pecans are cheap and walnuts expensive. I know some prefer nutless brownies.
posted by Goofyy at 11:36 PM on June 8, 2007


All edge-pieces? Shit, what's next? A loaf of bread consisting entirely of end-pieces? Bleargh.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 11:39 PM on June 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


All edge-pieces? Shit, what's next? A loaf of bread consisting entirely of end-pieces?

Shortest. Loaf. Evar.

Are brownies better with, or without, nuts?

I made coconut-pecan-caramel brownies from scratch last week.

GoddamsogoodIcanfeelmyteethrottingstill.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 11:59 PM on June 8, 2007 [2 favorites]


If you really, really like edges, couldn't you just bake your brownies in a muffin tray? Converseley, you could reduce edge:area ratio by baking in a large, round pan. Why bother with the extra cookware?
Now if you can get on that spherical pan...(I'm thinking two concentric spheres now, with brownies and hot air between the two spheres, and a tiny black hole or piece of neutronium held centered in the inner sphere to keep the batter plastered around the outside of the inner sphere. Also a heat source within the inner sphere, and then you put the whole thing in the oven to heat from the outside as well. Okay, perhaps this engineering problem could be better solved by baking brownies in a big pan and cutting off the edges... but cheaper or not, I don't think I could waste brownie.)

...*goes off to make brownies*
posted by agentofselection at 12:30 AM on June 9, 2007 [2 favorites]


I'm disappointed in the human race. I find it hard to believe that in the timeline of human intellect and discovery, this comes AFTER electricity, air travel, the Hubble telescope, Grand Theft Auto:Vice City, and CIA Mind control technology.

And I'm not even being that sarcastic. I almost ashamed of my immediate reflex to figure out the geometry required to have a pan full of 3-edged brownies. Only because I should have started working on that problem as a young child, immediately after having my first brownie.
posted by billyfleetwood at 12:35 AM on June 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


www.edgeandmiddlebrownieswap.com?
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:40 AM on June 9, 2007


Ad.
posted by chuckdarwin at 1:31 AM on June 9, 2007


via?
posted by imperium at 2:05 AM on June 9, 2007


Brownie Pan Tower Defense. It works best if you go Chocolate, Chocolate, Chips, Chocolate. I got up to 47K.
posted by srboisvert at 2:17 AM on June 9, 2007 [4 favorites]


"via?"

Don't do that.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:43 AM on June 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


twiggy writes 'On the other hand: A one link post to a product that is for sale? Seems spamtastic to me... hmm.'

Unlike the condom for masturbation. That would be spermtastic.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:44 AM on June 9, 2007


Civil_Disobedient writes 'All edge-pieces? Shit, what's next? A loaf of bread consisting entirely of end-pieces? Bleargh.'

We call them rolls.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:47 AM on June 9, 2007 [6 favorites]


Am I the only one who looked at that pan and thought, "Tetris Brownies"?
posted by romakimmy at 3:59 AM on June 9, 2007


Hmm...if you could bake brownies on the surface of a sphere, you'd have no edges!

Except for the sphere surface. How else will you keep in all that gooey goodness?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:57 AM on June 9, 2007


Zero G brownies? Wait, cook brownies in a doughy sphere so large it supplies its own gravity! Mmmm.... Brownietoid.
posted by BrotherCaine at 6:09 AM on June 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


this is going in the wrong direction, in my opinion.

for lasagna, this makes more sense.
posted by Busithoth at 6:52 AM on June 9, 2007


Instead of free fall, you could just have a very long heated tube and drop your brownie mix at the top of it; you would have a nearly spherical brownie at the bottom.

If you figure 35 minutes of cooking time, you'll need to arrange for 2,100 seconds of falling time. At 32 feet / second/second, you'll need a tube that is 141,120,000 feet, or 26,727 miles. This is close enough to geosynchronous orbit that you could simply suspend your heated tube from a satellite and give it a push downhill.

There will be minor problems with catching the brownies when they land; we'll want to keep the tube as a pretty hard vacuum to avoid heating effects burning the brownies. This means that the terminal velocity will be quite high. Depending on the size of the brownie sphere, so some sort of netting device will probably be necessary, unless the brownie hasn't fully cooked and is somewhat gooey on landing.

A useful side effect of this edgeless brownie construction system would be that you could use the tube as a space elevator when not actively cooking brownies. This will also be a convenient way to get eggs, milk, and brownie mix up to the satellite for mixing.
posted by jenkinsEar at 7:11 AM on June 9, 2007 [60 favorites]


I love Metafilter.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:18 AM on June 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm with the gooey goodness crowd on this one, but I have to admit this is a clever pan. I think the lasagna suggestion is right on.

jenkinsEar - That's it! Finally a reason the space exploration advocacy crowd can use to really get the public behind them again!
posted by Zinger at 7:20 AM on June 9, 2007


I'm an edge person. I was just thinking about how to do this the other day, and that pan is a very elegant solution. Another of my life's small problems, solved! Thanks, Metafilter!
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:45 AM on June 9, 2007


Wait, cook brownies in a doughy sphere so large it supplies its own gravity! Mmmm.... Brownietoid.

Humans would then evolve into naked mole rat-type beings, tunneling their way through the Brownietoid with their enormous adapted incisors...
posted by biscotti at 7:53 AM on June 9, 2007


All edge brownies = Tube pan
posted by Gungho at 8:21 AM on June 9, 2007


"I know some prefer nutless brownies."

All Brownies are nutless Goofyy. The ones with nuts are called "Cub Scouts."
posted by vronsky at 10:00 AM on June 9, 2007 [11 favorites]


Anyone not flagging jenkinsEar's post as 'fantastic' is an enemy to the brownie cause.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 12:18 PM on June 9, 2007


jenkinsEar: you don't need to have a netting system. Just place another satellite in a geosynchronous orbit at the opposite end of the earth. In this second satellite, install a little robot arm with a plate which swings out just as the spherical brownie reaches a velocity of 0 at the apex.

If something goes wrong and one of the brownies grazes against the sides of the tube, I volunteer to journey to the center of the earth, braving the seas of molten chocolate at great, erm, personal risk, to, um, clear the, ah, obstruction, and, uh ........<droool>
posted by honest knave at 5:45 PM on June 9, 2007


klein dunking mug *for Methylviolet's space brownie.
posted by acro at 5:56 PM on June 9, 2007


JenkinsEar, that is "free fall".

Anyway, an object dropped into an (evacuated) tunnel through the earth will take 42 minutes to reach the other side. Assume that cooking doesn't start until the brownie-dollop reaches the infernal regions, and it should work fine. Just build a batter factory at the antipodes and have it drop gooey boluses down its hole at regular intervals. Cooked, edgeless brownies will pop up out of the hole on your side, and you can grab and eat them.
posted by hattifattener at 5:57 PM on June 9, 2007 [2 favorites]


WinnipegDragon; old news, you'd just have to slightly modify the Alameda-Weehawken Burrito Tunnel. ..
posted by acro at 5:59 PM on June 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


US Patent 6431059
posted by gwint at 8:42 PM on June 9, 2007


Cocobolus!
posted by darkstar at 8:49 PM on June 9, 2007



Am I the only one who looked at that pan and thought, "Tetris Brownies"?


Nope, that was exactly my first thought. That pan is the greatest pan ever. I am an edge person, my husband is an edge person, my siblings, and on and on, we need this pan.
posted by SuzySmith at 9:48 PM on June 9, 2007


Space brownie?
posted by The Straightener at 9:59 PM on June 9, 2007


Actually, Jenkin's Ear, as a thought experiment in spherical bread I came up with the idea of a convection oven that is a funnel with a high speed fan at the bottom, and the air at the top recirculating back down the outside of the funnel. This could be used to simulate a free fall brownie cooker.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:32 AM on June 10, 2007


Sorry, if it isn't clear from the above, the narrow end of the funnel is on the bottom.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:33 AM on June 10, 2007


metafilter: it drop gooey boluses down its hole at regular intervals.
posted by vronsky at 7:23 AM on June 10, 2007


It drops the gooey boluses down the hole or else it gets the hose!
posted by pupdog at 8:24 AM on June 10, 2007


Hmmm...What if you took, say, a number of hot air popcorn poppers or hairdryers and placed them together so that they surrounded a roughly sphere-shaped empty space in the middle. Could you then turn them on and suspend a gooey bolus in the middle of the heated forced air until cooked?

Paging asavage to the brownie thread...
posted by cali at 2:16 PM on June 10, 2007


I have this pan. This pan works beautifully to make Quadruple Chocolate Brownies. (Someone asked for a recipe. This is a recipe. Enjoy.)
posted by Dreama at 3:29 PM on June 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


Edgeless plate of beans, anyone? What if you just rolled the damn dough into spheres and dropped them into hot oil like hush puppies? Come on - deep fried brownie balls?! Are you fuckin' kidding me?! (Sure, they'd have a crust. But they definitely wouldn't have edges. )
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:00 AM on June 11, 2007


This seems like a bit of an over kill. If they end goal is more edge, then why not build a 'tic-tac-toe' adapter for existing brownie pans. It would be cheaper and eliminate buying single use utensil.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 3:21 PM on June 11, 2007


No to the tic-tac-toe adapter, brownie pans do not come in standardized shapes, and you couldn't get the heat in to make the edge an edge unless you made it copper, and/or hollow. If you did make it copper, it'd scratch the non-stick coating. If you made it hollow it would reduce the volume of the pan a little bit, but I guess that would be okay.
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:39 PM on June 11, 2007


I'm surprised that they don't actually mention this on their site, but it is the case that if you undercook the brownies slightly, you do, in fact, get a whole pan full of gooey center pieces with no discernible edge crust. I bring back first-hand knowledge from my long journey to the center of the pan (read: I have one, and I've tried this personally).
posted by Caviar at 6:32 PM on June 11, 2007


LOVE the edge! Right on! Thanks for the post.
posted by petersn1 at 7:36 AM on June 12, 2007


How'd I miss this, my really good friend's brother-in-law is the guy that invented this. The brownies are pretty good I must say. I love being at his house and having them.
posted by Phantomx at 1:36 PM on June 12, 2007


You know the guy who invented this?!

What's his name? Where'd he get the idea from? How long did it take to perfect the pan? What sort of errors did he make in tryiing create this thing? Has it made him rich?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:05 PM on June 12, 2007


Haha, well his name is Matt for one. I actually don't know much of the process, but I think it was a winner from the start type of idea. He entered it into a contest that would grant the winner money to create their invention. Well look at their "about" page. Emily, who went to Sullivan in Louisville (also where my sister went) plays a MEAN game of Bust a Move. Seriously, I was like untouchable by anyone I've ever met until I heard about her skills and proceeded to get walloped.
posted by Phantomx at 4:17 AM on June 13, 2007


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