Pimp My Vag

June 13, 2007 11:31 AM

The gals at Jezebel.com recently completed a short series about vaginal plastic surgery, called Pimp My Vag.
posted by serazin (53 comments total)

why just why
posted by boo_radley at 11:32 AM on June 13, 2007

Just what I wanted to read about at the very moment I pulled out my lunch. Gee whiz.
posted by davejay at 11:33 AM on June 13, 2007

lame.
posted by c:\awesome at 11:34 AM on June 13, 2007

[uh oh, this post isn't going as planned...]
posted by serazin at 11:37 AM on June 13, 2007

How delusional. Most guys are so excited to see one they don't care what it looks like.
posted by gomichild at 11:38 AM on June 13, 2007

Austin: "That's Dr. Evil's cat."
Vanessa: "How can you tell?"

Austin: "I never forget a pussy.......cat."
posted by ageispolis at 11:39 AM on June 13, 2007

I assume this is SFW, so I'll just click....NOW
posted by DU at 11:42 AM on June 13, 2007

(hi, posting this from the homeless shelter--things have gone badly in the last few minutes. who knew they could foreclose on a house, not to mention a wife and kids, so fast?)
posted by DU at 11:44 AM on June 13, 2007 [4 favorites]

Just what I wanted to read about at the very moment I pulled out my lunch.

Box lunch?
posted by kirkaracha at 11:49 AM on June 13, 2007 [6 favorites]

"Box lunch?"

*snort*
posted by notsnot at 11:54 AM on June 13, 2007

why just why?

Because the stuff they've been posting over there up til now hasn't earned them a front page link yet. (BTW, in case you were wondering, jezebel.com no longer has anything to do with Heather Champ.)
posted by Dave Faris at 11:58 AM on June 13, 2007

Who's gonna Pimp My Nads?
posted by spicynuts at 11:59 AM on June 13, 2007

it's actually pretty entertaining if you can ignore the knee-jerks...
posted by schyler523 at 12:01 PM on June 13, 2007

"Box lunch?"

Roast beef, smothered in mayo.
posted by The Straightener at 12:02 PM on June 13, 2007

I have no turkey.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 12:14 PM on June 13, 2007

pussyfilter?
posted by chuckdarwin at 12:28 PM on June 13, 2007

In all seriousness, though, vaginoplasty is not a joke and to be honest if I was a woman I wouldn't hestitate a second to have my lips augmented to the size of manta ray wings that I would use to propel me through the air like one of those flying dinosaur bird things.
posted by The Straightener at 12:33 PM on June 13, 2007 [16 favorites]

I have no beef with my lips

Surely this line should have been 'I have no beef with my beef curtains'
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:47 PM on June 13, 2007

kirkaracha, have my retarded internet babies.
posted by boo_radley at 12:50 PM on June 13, 2007

Metafilter loves the Vag
posted by Smedleyman at 12:51 PM on June 13, 2007

Vulva. Vulva vulva vulva. V-U-L-V-A. Not vagina. Vulva.
posted by The corpse in the library at 12:51 PM on June 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

/Y’know, if you actually go and READ The Godfather, there’s a whole bunch of interesting stuff going on in there about vaginal plastic surgery. It concerns mostly Lucy (the bridesmaid Sonny was ‘nailing’ (proper term for standing up sex against the wall in the Italian-American community, the Brit’s use the futher term ‘Tremblers’ to reference one’s legs during the act, and indeed, there was a punk band that had that very name...but I digress)) and this doctor from Vegas and was wisely cut from the movie, but it’s a nifty exposition of social mores surrounding that kind of thing, most particularly from the old school 50’s-60’s perspective.
Interesting to see the complete reversal in that state of affairs, and yet the underlying misogyny remains.
(comment not aimed at anyone here, just notable in society)
posted by Smedleyman at 12:58 PM on June 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

Hey corpse in the library, I kept looking for you in that Pirate thread a few days ago. Surely you could have given the definitive answer on pirate morality.

And if you like vulva, I think this will sit well with you.
posted by serazin at 1:03 PM on June 13, 2007

Vadge?
posted by sourwookie at 1:04 PM on June 13, 2007

The corpse in the library: Vulva. Vulva vulva vulva. V-U-L-V-A.

See, back in my day, the zombies only wanted brains...
posted by LordSludge at 1:08 PM on June 13, 2007 [3 favorites]

Hi serazin -- the pirate thread was overwhelming. I spent too long trying to come up with something to say, and by then things had become so serious. I'm here for the jokes, not the Marxism. (Jokes about Marxism, on the other hand...)

Those puppets make me realize I'm not as comfortable with lady parts as I thought I was.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:16 PM on June 13, 2007

Still, not as bad as the G-Shot. I'm still having nightmares about that one.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 1:25 PM on June 13, 2007

Metafilter is such a girlzone.

Anyway, I've seen several in my life, and several thousand if you count photography/pornography, and I've yet to see one that I would have changed a thing.

They are all unique and beautiful, like snowflakes.
posted by Ynoxas at 1:27 PM on June 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

spicynuts (eponysterical!): Your answer lies in here, my friend.
posted by Joe Invisible at 1:49 PM on June 13, 2007

"Vadge?"

"Vadges? Vadges? We don't need no..."
posted by klangklangston at 2:05 PM on June 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

Something about that Jezebel site annoys the shit out of me. I've recently found myself clicking over to that site from "via" tags on some of my more favorite blogs.

I can't shake the feeling that it reads like the kind of blog that might have been written by the girls in high school that wore bust-exposing, cleavage-heavy shirts and made PG-13-style sex jokes but once the jokes I reciprocated actually get funny and R-rated, suddenly a line was crossed that they weren't ready for, and somehow the bust-exposing upper body wear was incidental and I'd be a pervert for noticing.

Case in point :
"Eww! Sperm"

"Ew! A strange new sex toy! And OMG A JESUS JOKE!"

"Porn? What's that? And do women actually.. ya know... watch it? Ewww!"

I haven't read this article yet, but my money's on it being "OMG EW! Vaginas!"
posted by revmitcz at 2:13 PM on June 13, 2007

Tweak My Snatch
posted by Flashman at 2:15 PM on June 13, 2007

"Pimp My Vag."

Isn't this where slang turns back on itself? Doesn't "Pimp my vag" mean "I'm a prostitute"?
posted by krinklyfig at 2:47 PM on June 13, 2007 [4 favorites]

Y just Y?
posted by psmealey at 2:51 PM on June 13, 2007

Oh, boo_, you had me at "retarded internet babies."
posted by kirkaracha at 3:14 PM on June 13, 2007

Can I get a DVD player installed?
posted by Samizdata at 3:21 PM on June 13, 2007

And I get dibs on on Boo and Kirkarcha's wedding witnessing...
posted by Samizdata at 3:21 PM on June 13, 2007

[NSFW!! Here NSFW!!] are before and after pictures of labiaplasties, via the article. I needed to know, but choose your own adventure.

I'm a little surprised that some woman would have issues about the presentation of her labia. Mostly because it's not a functional upgrade by any means - it's purely cosmetic. And as far as eyeball accessibility, the labia is pretty much the final frontier; most people (including the labia owner) don't get to see it on a consistent enough basis to form much of an opinion on it. Maybe if you've got some extra baggage down there such that you can't wear excitingly skimpy swim wear, cuz every time a bit of lip starts breaking loose from either side and starts waggling about in the wind and you absolutely will not reign in this kind of excess dangle by any other means... I guess you can get the $4900 surgery. But who else is going to appreciate your new look besides your gyno? From whom and what kind of compliments are being sought? "Hey, didya just trim the fringes down below? Killer lips, girl! Super streamlined!"
posted by krippledkonscious at 3:28 PM on June 13, 2007

I guess if you were a porn star it would be tax deductable?
posted by The Light Fantastic at 3:45 PM on June 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

But who else is going to appreciate your new look besides your gyno? From whom and what kind of compliments are being sought? "Hey, didya just trim the fringes down below? Killer lips, girl! Super streamlined!"

i think it's for this guy:

He calls out his 17 year old daughter's name in bed and he likes underage porn! What is going on with this guy?

the pictures of the pre-post surgery were horrible. Why is it that people are so upset by 'clitorectomies'? This is your own country and culture, you have a hell of a lot more chance of stopping this than what happens in northern africa...
posted by geos at 3:47 PM on June 13, 2007

I am afraid this surgery forgets the important physiological function of having a little bulk down there -- it is so women don't whistle like flutes during windstorms.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:48 PM on June 13, 2007

For some reason this cracked me up:

The first time, I went to a male doctor, the second time I visited a female doctor, and for my final consultation, I sought the opinion of a pornographer—Mitch Fontaine of Burning Angel. He told me that my vagina was charming. But I sort of knew that anyway.

posted by Grod at 3:50 PM on June 13, 2007

Never before have I thought of the term "dented clam".

Now I can't get it out of my head.
posted by 5MeoCMP at 4:07 PM on June 13, 2007

Pimp my Vancouver Art Gallery?
posted by arcticwoman at 4:41 PM on June 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

bling ballz
posted by greensweater at 8:52 AM on June 14, 2007

uh, no thanks
posted by threetwo at 3:23 PM on June 14, 2007

this
posted by NinjaTadpole at 4:11 PM on June 14, 2007

thread
posted by NinjaTadpole at 4:11 PM on June 14, 2007

is
posted by NinjaTadpole at 4:11 PM on June 14, 2007

nothing
posted by NinjaTadpole at 4:11 PM on June 14, 2007

without
posted by NinjaTadpole at 4:11 PM on June 14, 2007

images
posted by NinjaTadpole at 4:12 PM on June 14, 2007

Vulva. Vulva vulva vulva. V-U-L-V-A. Not vagina. Vulva.

If enough people are taught as kids to say "vagina" instead of "vulva" (as I was by my mom, who's been a registered nurse for the last 30 years), then guess what? "Vagina" wins. (Some may argue that vagina ALWAYS wins, but that is another debate for another thread.)

Language is supposed to evolve over time...
posted by tantrumthecat at 7:35 AM on June 15, 2007