what part of the cow do you use in the burgers cos i heard it was the teeth.

June 15, 2007 8:31 AM

McDonald's UK goes Web 2.0 with a site answering user's questions. Apparently, all of them.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 (141 comments total)

I like this FAQ interface, not getting dragged around by anchor tags...
posted by damo at 8:38 AM on June 15, 2007

This is pretty awesome.

But the inanity of the questions is somewhat disturbing.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 8:39 AM on June 15, 2007

I read in the paper that some burger contain poo. Is this really true? If so, what proportion of burgers contain poo?
posted by NationalKato at 8:40 AM on June 15, 2007

Refreshing and well-made, unlike the food.
posted by WPW at 8:42 AM on June 15, 2007

That's pretty amazing, actually. They answer some pretty banal questions.

I guess you have to invent some interesting PR moves when you've been through one of the worst-publicity trials in corporate history.
posted by gurple at 8:42 AM on June 15, 2007

I can't stop laughing. I want to bookmark this, but I'm worried it's only a matter of time before McDonald's sterilizes this site and kills off all its natural glory.
posted by Greg Nog at 8:42 AM on June 15, 2007

McDonalds UK should hire at least one copy editor:

The Big Mac beef patty is smaller than the Quarter Pounder beef patty, it weighs 45g before cooking. However, each Big Mac contains two beef of these patties.

TWO beef! TWICE as many good!
posted by gurple at 8:45 AM on June 15, 2007 [19 favorites]

My god those questions are inwardly focused. How about, eg.

Do your employees get health benefits?
Are your cattle free range?
posted by Firas at 8:45 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Wait, you mean there are stupid British too? Whoda thunk?
posted by NationalKato at 8:47 AM on June 15, 2007

These responders really have a lot of patience. I would have started to break once I got to:

are your baconburgers kosher?
posted by demiurge at 8:47 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Is it true that your food tastes so good because you cook with care and attention? What's your secret!? I love your food more than my wife!
posted by gurple at 8:48 AM on June 15, 2007

isit true that there has been a case where a person has found a eyeball in one of your burgers??

No, McDonald’s is not aware of any case like this ever happening.
posted by ColdChef at 8:49 AM on June 15, 2007

My favourite is "Are your milkshakes made from dogs lips?"
posted by samstarling at 8:49 AM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

if you start with 100% beef, then add a pinch of salt, what percentage is the beef in your burgers?

This is a goldmine.
posted by gurple at 8:49 AM on June 15, 2007 [4 favorites]

Why did your employees ejaculate into my grandmother's milkshake?
posted by jonson at 8:51 AM on June 15, 2007 [4 favorites]

Why is it that Hamburgers are made of beef? shouldn't they be made out of ham?

The term ‘hamburger’ is a generic name for a style of beef sandwich that originated from Hamburg, Germany in the late 18th century. Originally called the ‘Hamburg Steak’, an early reference appears in 1802 edition of the Oxford Dictionary. This sandwich was made and continues to be made from beef, not pork
posted by ColdChef at 8:51 AM on June 15, 2007

McDonalds is awesome. People love to hate it because it's so good.
posted by chunking express at 8:53 AM on June 15, 2007

Seven questions, all of which are "When are you bringing back the McRib?"

This is hilarious. I can only imagine the board meeting that created this, and the aftermath.

"Customers think we're unresponsive! We need to answer their questions about McDonald's."
"We'll let them submit their questions online, and we'll answer them."
"Yes! We'll answer all of them! Nobody will be able to say we're unresponsive then."

**Memo comes down from corporate**

"They want us to answer every single question? Don't they realize that most people are idiots?"
"I guess we'll be answering some really stupid questions."
"I guess so. Have fun."
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:53 AM on June 15, 2007

I used to think your burgers were horrible, believing they were all mashed chicken head. I've only found out recently that it isn't. Is there any other way to get this good message to other people like me?
posted by gurple at 8:54 AM on June 15, 2007

I was just going to post that one, gurple. How many people in this world spell burger "buger"? Honestly.

I heard that your burge meat is taken from from the vagina of cows. Can you confirm 100% that this is not true?

Oh my.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:57 AM on June 15, 2007

Is it true that, although these questions appear to be naturalistic and unfiltered, they are actually thought up by marketing experts to give the most overall positive impression of McDonald's to the largest number of visitors to this website?

OK, that one's mine. I'd ask it, but then I'd be playing into their marketing machine. :)
posted by gurple at 8:57 AM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

And what's wrong with mashed chicken head? My parents raised eleven children on mashed chicken head, and every single one of us turned out handsome, popular, and intelligent.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:57 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Saying that you paid extra money for any non-cheese topping bar item is an OUTRAGEOUS lie. I am sure everyone else on the message board sees this
posted by neustile at 8:58 AM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

Maybe if enough people ask, the guy answering will eventually slip and let us know what's really in the burgers.

"So the burgers contain horse meat, right?"

"Our burgers are made from 100% beef."

"Okay, yeah, but they have worms in them. Worms, right?"

"Our burgers are made from 100% beef."

"I see. And eyes? There are eyes in the burgers, yes?"

"Our burgers are made from 100% beef."

"Right, right. And how many human baby fingers go into each burger?"

"About three."
posted by L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg at 8:59 AM on June 15, 2007 [43 favorites]

My god those questions are inwardly focused. How about, eg. [...] Are your cattle free range?

Look in the animal welfare section.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:59 AM on June 15, 2007

Best section? Menu suggestions.

why mcdonald's doesn't change the food like make diferente burgers but not in short time but forever because i think the people get absed with the same burger all year and if you change a bit the menu you go make more money thanks catia
posted by ColdChef at 8:59 AM on June 15, 2007

I have heard there are reindeer burger available at McDonald's restaurants in Finland. Is it true?

1. No, this is not true. McDonald’s sandwiches are made from beef, chicken and pork. Occasionally promotional burgers will be made from other meats such as lamb, but never reindeer. (June 2007)

This made me laugh. Though I do like reindeer... Probably not from McDonalds, however. We did get the promotional rye-bread burger for a while.
posted by slimepuppy at 9:00 AM on June 15, 2007

"I've noticed recently that you can really taste the testicles in your burgers. Was the testicle to beef ratio in your patties recently altered, or did I perhaps just sample a testicle heavy batch of beef?"

Thank you

The Make Up Your Own Mind team endeavours to answer your question within two weeks. You will be sent an email when your answer is live on the site.
posted by The Straightener at 9:01 AM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

This is the best:

My Wife and I often visit New York and, whilst waiting at Newark Airport on the homeward leg, i often have a McDonalds, very nice it is to. Could you tell me why the Burgers in Newark actually taste like Beef whereas those we get at home in the UK taste like nothing even remotely animal falvoured? Surely meat is meat...or is it?

1. All McDonald’s hamburger patties are made from 100 percent beef. Whole cuts from forequarter and flank are used (the same as any good mince you may buy at the supermarket), with a pinch of salt and pepper used after cooking for taste. McDonald’s UK has a policy to source all its ingredients locally whenever possible.

Translation: UK burgers suck because UK beef sucks.
posted by Pastabagel at 9:01 AM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

I am dismayed to read that you are 'considering making your products halal.' Is McDonalds trying to appeal to a Muslim audience in particular? I am a meat eater but wouldn't be willing to buy meat slaughtered in this way because I believe it to be cruel. I'm pleased you're answering your critics but this is a step too far! I'm disappointed that you are pandering to this minority audience and would be interested as to why you are doing this...does your MR suggest this is adviseable?

The Halal issue is complex. McDonald’s is currently reviewing the possibility of introducing some Halal products in its restaurants, however no decision has yet been reached. It is also unlikely that this would involve a wholesale conversion of meat to Halal and more likely that a specific range would be introduced so you would not have to eat Halal meat if you did not wish to.
posted by miss lynnster at 9:01 AM on June 15, 2007

I am glad to see that bored, semi-literate teenagers have better things to do than post on Bebo.

Great stuff. Thanks for the link.
posted by ClanvidHorse at 9:02 AM on June 15, 2007

Yes, this is awesome. I wonder how many people are doing the answering or if some poor schlub has to do this in addition to the other McDonald's drudge work he or she does all day.
posted by frecklefaerie at 9:02 AM on June 15, 2007

im diabetic.what can i eat at macdonalds

Unfortunately McDonald’s cannot give medical advice...
posted by miss lynnster at 9:04 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'm wondering if their burgers are made from 100% beef. They seem very vague on that.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 9:04 AM on June 15, 2007 [3 favorites]

Why do I get the Spurlock McGurgles everytime I eat at your resturants?

McDonald’s is not aware of the ‘Spurlock McGurgles’ as being a specific phenomenon. Everyone has a different digestive rate and can be affected in different ways by the things that they eat.
posted by gurple at 9:06 AM on June 15, 2007 [14 favorites]

I’m an American currently living in England, why are portions here so small compared to the ones back in the states, smaller portions at a higher price?
Portion sizes in UK are designed for the UK market. Pricing is country specific and depends on a number of factors including the cost of locally-sourced raw ingredients.


Translation: "Just go back to America, fatty!"

Goldmine indeed.
posted by miss lynnster at 9:06 AM on June 15, 2007

McDonald’s hasn’t made any changes to its restaurants as a result of ‘Super Size Me’.

OK, now they're just lying.
posted by gurple at 9:07 AM on June 15, 2007

OK, I'm getting post-happy and I'll stop abusing the thread, but this is just lovely:

Have you (as a company) studied the documentary/film "Super Size Me" and have you learned anything from it?...

Some of McDonald’s employees have watched the film but neither they, nor the company, learned anything new.
posted by gurple at 9:09 AM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

As funny as it is, I think the site works. Don't we all feel like, whether they are evil or not, they are responsive?
posted by DU at 9:11 AM on June 15, 2007

If modern science reaches a stage that can clone humans, and these clones are never legally considered "humans", and then it becomes legal to eat them (under the same strict safety guidelines as the meat industry follows), would McDonald's start serving human flesh in it's combo meals? McLongpork, perhaps?
posted by jcterminal at 9:13 AM on June 15, 2007 [3 favorites]

Is it true you put cow ears in your milkshake?

1. No, this is not true.
posted by fire&wings at 9:14 AM on June 15, 2007

I asked a question about the Legendary Burger Which Grants Immortality, but I guess it may be a while before they get around to answering it.
posted by Greg Nog at 9:15 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Q. What is the best burger to serve with a 1982 Cheval Blanc? Does the mix and match of a bacon double cheese perfectly complement the ethereal and complex nose of the wine, or would I be better with a simple meat dish, such as a big mac and fries?

A. Have you not considered the Quarter Pounder with Cheese? A timeless classic meets a once-in-a-generation legendary vintage. The bold flavours of 100 percent beef patty blend beautifully with the velvety smoothness of the wine – a match made in heaven.
posted by RMD at 9:20 AM on June 15, 2007 [12 favorites]

"What is the average semen content of a big mac?"

wow. just. wow.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 9:21 AM on June 15, 2007

There were no Kelis references in the Milkshake section. Yet.
posted by probablysteve at 9:23 AM on June 15, 2007

Haha great! Stupid, but great!
posted by Zephyrial at 9:30 AM on June 15, 2007

Why did your emplyees ejactulate into my grandmother's milkshake?
Any rumours and stories about this sort of behaviour have never been found to be true and are regarded as urban myths. If McDonald’s receive any allegations about bodily fluids in food these claims are fully investigated. If something like this were to happen any employee acting in this way would be dismissed.
posted by miss lynnster at 9:31 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Is it true that McDonalds have given money to the IRA?

McDonald's does not, and never has, funded the IRA. This story is based on an old urban myth that dates back to the 1970's when McDonald's first opened up shop in the UK. The payslips used for UK staff at that time were imported from the USA, and included printed reference to the American equivalent to NI pension contributions - the 'Individual Retirement Account' - or 'IRA' for short. The rumour that McDonald's donated to the IRA terrorist group arises from this misunderstanding.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 9:31 AM on June 15, 2007 [4 favorites]

A red car traveling 100 miles west at 45 mph and a blue car traveling 70 miles east at 60 mph both start at the same point. How many Big Macs does Millie have?
posted by katillathehun at 9:32 AM on June 15, 2007

I read in the paper that some burger contain poo.

This sentence is miraculous; I find that I can read it aloud in any voice or accent and it just keeps getting funnier. Seriously, I want everyone here to spend ten minutes doing this and we're all gonna have a great day.
posted by escabeche at 9:33 AM on June 15, 2007 [21 favorites]

You claim that "millions of people enjoy eating your food every day". Do you have PROOF that they ENJOY eating it? Could it not be a case of peer pressure and personal blackmail? I heard that somebody left half a McNugget and Ronald McDonald KILLED THEIR ENTIRE FAMILY. Did this happen?

McDonald’s likes to think that its customers are able to make their own choices, and would not visit McDonald’s purely because of the reasons you state. And no, Ronald McDonald has never killed anyone.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 9:34 AM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

My surname is McObessidy and I would like to open a hamburger restaurant (well, more of a stand really) under my name in my remote Scottish village. Is it okay? I heard that you are big on copyright.

I have not laughed this hard in months.
posted by probablysteve at 9:36 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

the Spurlock McGurgles

This one made me laugh so much, tears came to my eyes. I haven't laughed like hat in a while. Thanks gurple.
posted by WPW at 9:36 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

There were no Kelis references in the Milkshake section. Yet.

The Make Up Your Own Mind team will endeavour to answer my question as to whether or not Kelis' milkshake is from McDonald's within two weeks, and I will be sent an email when my answer is live on the site.
posted by katillathehun at 9:37 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

McDonald’s has no idea how many burgers you can make from one cow
posted by klue at 9:48 AM on June 15, 2007

do you think macdonalds shoulds be banned

No, McDonald’s doesn’t think so.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 9:51 AM on June 15, 2007

Six complete evasions of questions about the ethics of advertising McDonald's food to kids.
posted by gurple at 9:53 AM on June 15, 2007

I love McFlurry, but whenever I eat it, my skin turns red and chapped, my mouth stings and I have difficulty breathing. The problem seems to be getting worse. Should I continue eat it in the hope that I might harden myself, or is there some other explanation? Do you put poison in McFlurry?

There is absolutely no poison in the McFlurries. If you are having some particular kind of reaction when you eat a McFlurry, then it would be advisable you discontinue purchasing and eating them immediately, and speak to your doctor about the symptoms you are having.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 9:53 AM on June 15, 2007

what part of the cow do you use in the burgers cos i heard it was the teeth.

This post made my day great.
posted by Verdandi at 9:58 AM on June 15, 2007

While these folks are quick to claim that their fries are 100% vegetarian, the articles that I read at the time this fiasco surfaced claimed the same thing: McDonald's never seasoned their fries with "beef essence", but that said seasoning had taken place at 3rd party facilities where the potatoes were originally cut and frozen for shipping to the McDonald's stores.

So, I can't see that the fries questions actually answer my family's fears over eating at McDonald's again. I personally love the place, but I'm a meat eater, and they aren't.
posted by thanotopsis at 10:03 AM on June 15, 2007

are big macs big?

Yes!

This site is funny.
posted by Totally Zanzibarin' Ya at 10:24 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'm not even halfway through this thread and between 'two beef of these patties' and 'Spurlock McGurgles' I'm in hysterics. Thanks, East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94!
posted by Space Kitty at 10:32 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

It’s McDonald’s opinion that the Haggis Burger would have a very limited appeal.

I have tears in my eyes, this is either the funniest FPP ever or the best viral marketing scheme ever.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:34 AM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

HOW DO YOU GET THE KIDS VOUCHERS THAT ENABLE YOU 2 PICK UP A FREE SMALL DRINK WHEN YOU SHOW IT.

1. McDonald's is not familiar with this promotion. Individual restaurants do run their own promotions from time to time so it’s best to ask at the restaurant where you saw this offer.

I'm going to have an aneurysm from laughter. Best medicine my ass.
posted by boo_radley at 10:40 AM on June 15, 2007

this is either the funniest FPP ever or the best viral marketing scheme ever.

It's both!

I dont eat meat but i love dipping my chips in the sauce on my boyfriends big tasty! Its delicious.
posted by gurple at 10:43 AM on June 15, 2007

This is freakin' awesome. I have not laughed till I cried in years.... Thank you so much.... damo wins the internets.
posted by Debaser626 at 10:46 AM on June 15, 2007

oops... no insult to damo... but I meant East Manitoba...
posted by Debaser626 at 10:48 AM on June 15, 2007

Fantastic post.

I couldn't resist:

Name: Jules
Email: [e-mail]
Ask your question: You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 10:50 AM on June 15, 2007 [6 favorites]

Do your employees get health benefits?

Firas, why would someone ask this of McDonalds UK?
posted by atrazine at 11:05 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

do you SPIT in chips?

No.

This site is the funniest thing I have seen in weeks.
posted by teleskiving at 11:06 AM on June 15, 2007

This is great.

This is why I love Metafilter.

I love all of you.

My secretary now thinks I am insane. But it's worth it.
posted by dios at 11:06 AM on June 15, 2007 [3 favorites]

Seriously, who do they have answering these questions? They have nerves of steel for not answering every stupid question with "F off you twat".

McDonalds question board admin, I salute you.
posted by GuyZero at 11:08 AM on June 15, 2007

Wait a minute, dios has a secretary?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:11 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Go take your ad hominems somewhere else, dios.

I kid, of course.

1. McDonald’s staff are not invariably spotty – some have spots, some don’t.
posted by gurple at 11:11 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

my teacher said in a science lesson that when you kill the cows you tie their legs up and put them on a machine with high pressure water and literally burst the cow is that true
posted by probablysteve at 11:20 AM on June 15, 2007

My God, if the numbers are right then they've answered like 60 more questions since I first looked at this. I'm NEVER going to get any work done at this rate.

New favorites:
I heard that Ronald Mc Donald is now more Hamburger than man, is this true?
No. Ronald McDonald is a man, not a hamburger.

I think McDonalds has an interesting role in society. I'm intersted in some of my observations particularly in Hong Kong but also elsewhere around the world: Did it ever occur to you that your staff are invariably very spotty. The implication is that it's MacDonalds food that causes this. I wonder if anyone ever observed this within your organistation?
McDonald’s staff are not invariably spotty – some have spots, some don’t. Many people, young as well as older people, suffer with spots, acne and other skin problems. This is not exclusive to people that work at McDonald’s - it happens to others in many different kinds of employment. Often, skin conditions are not related to diet.

is it true you need to add a gerkin to your burgers so that it isnt classified as a desert?
This is a bit of a myth. The gherkins are actually there as a signature ingredient of McDonald’s burgers, and have been part of McDonald’s sandwiches for decades for no other reason than taste.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:24 AM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

Encyclopedia McBrown:

Why did your staff urinate in the ovens at your restraunt on the M24?

This is not true. McDonald’s kitchens do not have ovens nor does McDonald’s UK know of there being an M24. McDonald’s is very strict about its food safety and hygiene procedures and if McDonald’s receives any allegations about this sort of behaviour, these claims are fully investigated. There are many such stories that do the rounds and not one has ever been found to have any factual basis. Needless to say, if there was any truth in any such allegations, it would be a dismissible offence.
posted by gnomeloaf at 11:33 AM on June 15, 2007

This goes down as an all-time favorite. I started laughing half-way through, and when someone asked me why, I couldn't even say "Spurlock McGurkles" until the third try.

By the time I reached the end of the thread, my eyes were teary.

I think they were covering for Ronald McDonald, though. He hangs out on park benches around small children and clams up when adults come around. And Mayor McCheese was definitely on the take, or else how did the Hamburglar get out of McPrison all the time?

Thanks for the thread!
posted by misha at 11:35 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

I cannot believe it. I just learned something.

i notice on you tray liners that fanta isn't suitable for vegetarian's could you tell me what's in it that makes it unsuitable
Fanta Orange contains a fish oil as a carrier for the orange colourings. It is, therefore, not classified as suitable for vegetarians.

[Note to self: NEVER DRINK FANTA. IT IS FISH SODA.]
posted by miss lynnster at 11:36 AM on June 15, 2007 [10 favorites]

is it true you need to add a gerkin to your burgers so that it isnt classified as a desert?
This is a bit of a myth.

It's only a bit of a myth? Which bit is true then?

I haven't laughed so much in ages!
posted by Helga-woo at 11:36 AM on June 15, 2007

Do Goths come to McDonalds? Yes. I love this fpp and everyone here!
posted by dog food sugar at 11:40 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

is it not true that mcDonalds stopped selling the rootbeer which was so nice cos it had ingredients like chemicals which was used on the soldiers in vietnam to make them fight and keep them awake. my freind said its true and read it on a website. thansk danny

No, this is not true. Root Beer has been off the menu for some time now, and was removed as it proved unpopular with customers in the UK.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 11:46 AM on June 15, 2007

I heard that Ronald Mc Donald is now more Hamburger than man, is this true?

OK, lynnster, you're cleaning up the partially chewed pretzels from my computer screen.

Holy shit this is a funny thread. It's the sort of thread that would make me join if I weren't a member.
posted by hifiparasol at 11:47 AM on June 15, 2007

MetaFilter: Now More Hamburger Than Man
posted by hifiparasol at 11:48 AM on June 15, 2007

is it true that there is paint in your chicken nugets?

Definitely no paint. Chicken McNuggets are made from carefully boned white chicken breast meat, which is then coated in a specially seasoned batter.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 11:49 AM on June 15, 2007

what is the critical analysis of George Ritzer’s theories concerning ‘Macdonaldisation’, discussing whether it remains useful as a contemporary relevance cultural critique of rationalisation. and to what extent to which Ritzer develops the work of Max Weber in your answers.

Sadly, they won't do your homework for you.
posted by gnomeloaf at 11:49 AM on June 15, 2007

I wish you could favorite a thread more than once.
posted by chunking express at 11:49 AM on June 15, 2007

Is it true that Ronald McDonald is 19' tall, composed mostly of erectile tissue, and he believes the Pyrenees mountain range is his girlfriend? When he goes skydiving without a parachute, does he love the feel of crumbling masonry against his naked flesh? Thanks so much.

Still waiting for a response to this one.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 11:54 AM on June 15, 2007 [3 favorites]

I just realized what this reminds me of: The Timewaster Letters.
posted by teleskiving at 12:00 PM on June 15, 2007

This is not true. McDonald’s kitchens do not have ovens nor does McDonald’s UK know of there being an M24.

I LOVE this one.
posted by smackfu at 12:01 PM on June 15, 2007

A McDonald's chicken nugget is 56% corn, according to Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma. I have enquired about this.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 12:02 PM on June 15, 2007

Why do none of your emplyees talk english? rubbish about the local area depends its a load of parp

Wasn't there recently some AskMe thread about irony?
posted by hifiparasol at 12:03 PM on June 15, 2007

what is ronald macdonalds favourite meal?

Ronald McDonald doesn’t have a specific favourite meal as he likes to eat lots of different types of food. Ronald knows the importance of a balanced diet and makes good food choices across a range of foods to make sure that he stays fit and active.

why is RONALD MCDONALD such a SINISTER character for McDonalds!

McDonald’s doesn’t think Ronald is sinister! In fact, Ronald is McDonald's Chief Happiness Officer and has been the face of the company since 1963. He is a recognised character around the world, and advocates both a balanced diet and the importance of an active lifestyle.
posted by probablysteve at 12:06 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Kirk: Ronnie, I need more happiness!
Ronnie, down in the Happy Room: Cap'n, I'm givin' her all she's got!
posted by DU at 12:10 PM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

My contribution:

I heard the Hamburglar was indicted on 223 counts of Aggravated Hamburglary and was sentenced to 15 years in a federal prison. Now he tours the US and Canada on the lecture circuit, speaking out against prison rape, but nobody attends the lectures because all he ever says is "robble robble robble." Is this true?
posted by hifiparasol at 12:13 PM on June 15, 2007 [15 favorites]

hifiparasol did they answer that question? How do you answer that question?! This is all too funny.
posted by dog food sugar at 12:17 PM on June 15, 2007

I just realized what this reminds me of: The Timewaster Letters.

See also: Letters From A Nut
posted by designbot at 12:17 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

This is seriously the best post ever, and absolutely why I joined Metafilter. Thank you, EMRJKC'94!
posted by malthas at 12:26 PM on June 15, 2007

Still waiting for an answer, dog food sugar.

why do you allow merciless killings of millions of animals? how can anyone associated with mcdonalds sleep at night?

I sort of hope this person is eaten by a lion.
posted by hifiparasol at 12:29 PM on June 15, 2007

is it true you use uranium in your chilli sauce?

No.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 12:37 PM on June 15, 2007

This is fucking amazing.
posted by serazin at 12:42 PM on June 15, 2007

Why have you stopped chocolate donuts in the UK, its a stupid idea, im so angry. Everyone loved them including me

McDonald’s still has the Chocolate Donut on the menu.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 12:56 PM on June 15, 2007 [5 favorites]

What were the chicken nuggests made before they became "100% pure chicken" ... my childhood is at steak.
posted by gurple at 1:09 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

I wonder if anyone will ask if they put anything other than beef in their burgers.
posted by tristeza at 1:09 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

I love how whoever has the misfortune of answering these questions tries so hard to answer them all so seriously. So funny!
posted by MythMaker at 1:35 PM on June 15, 2007

Good use of the "cowshitinsane" tag.
posted by churl at 2:11 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

do people spit in my big mac?

1. No.
posted by subaruwrx at 2:50 PM on June 15, 2007

My absolute favorite...

do you think macdonalds shoulds be banned

1. No, McDonald’s doesn’t think so.
posted by subaruwrx at 2:51 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Congrats on giving them your email address
posted by A189Nut at 2:54 PM on June 15, 2007

Oh no! I might get spam! On the INTERNET!
posted by smackfu at 3:04 PM on June 15, 2007

Oh no! I might get spam! On the INTERNET!

Well played, sir. Well played.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 3:06 PM on June 15, 2007

I heard that your milkshake was made from chicken hooves, is this true? I know the rumors about the nuggets being all beaks and feet and burgers being filled out with chicken are no longer true but I can't believe the milkshake is also chicken enriched!

1. Chicken hooves! No, there are definitely no chicken hooves in the milkshakes, or any other chicken parts for that matter.
posted by punchdrunkhistory at 3:27 PM on June 15, 2007

So, apparently in Australia, they also have a site. In general, not as interesting, except that apparently their Heart Foundation has a program to identify healthy foods that McDonald's participates in. The name of this program: "Pick the Tick". Ick!
posted by smackfu at 3:57 PM on June 15, 2007

My question for them:

Is it true that your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard? If so, why? Do you use some sort of boy-bringing chemical ingredient in your milkshake, or is it something about the nature of boys? Or possibly the nature of the yard?
posted by dersins at 4:31 PM on June 15, 2007

This is fascinating.

I once have a chicken mcnugget and when i bite into it it there was somethink like gristle and the same applied the other 3 mcnuggets i ate as well Can you explain why this happened?

McDonald’s is sorry to hear that you didn’t enjoy your Chicken McNuggets. McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets are made from carefully deboned chicken breast meat and you should not find gristle in them. If you are ever unhappy with your food, please speak to your restaurant manager and they will be happy to look into the issue and replace your order. Alternatively, please give the Customer Services Team a call on 08705 244 622 so that this can be fully investigated.

posted by sswiller at 5:58 PM on June 15, 2007

Research into bacon has occurred over the last few years...

How bout quoting some sources, buddy?
posted by sswiller at 6:02 PM on June 15, 2007

Tonight we out for big game! We hittin' the official Burger King Chat Zone!
posted by AaronRaphael at 6:58 PM on June 15, 2007

Fantastic.

I'm forwarding the link to the McDonald's Workers Resistance.
posted by jack_mo at 7:16 PM on June 15, 2007

Some are sort of poignant:

1. Would you be able to make a burger for babies. i would be interested if you could make a burger made from baby food? I am 14 but my teeth have not properly developed so a soft burger would be nice. Thank Robert Rothon

...although we are sorry to hear about your teeth difficulties, the company has no plans to produce any baby food products.
posted by jack_mo at 7:20 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Fanta Orange contains a fish oil as a carrier for the orange colourings. It is, therefore, not classified as suitable for vegetarians.

This sounds much like how some orthodox jews will not drink store milk as it contains vitamin D made from pig. However has with any pure chemical, it does not carry some kind of 'essence' from its source. Anything else is psychological.
posted by MrLint at 7:33 PM on June 15, 2007

Reading this thread was by far the best way I could possibly spend this evening.
posted by saladpants at 8:03 PM on June 15, 2007

I can get "small" meals, "medium" ones, "large" ones, and "supersize" ones. How about "super duper mega" size?

McDonald’s currently has no plans to introduce a Super Duper Mega Value Meal. And, within the UK, McDonald’s does not serve the Supersize meals either.
posted by phrontist at 9:02 PM on June 15, 2007

You can do research on bacon?! All this time, I've been doing astrophysics like a sucker when I could have been doing baconology...
posted by dirigibleman at 9:18 PM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

Mine: " I CAN HAS CHEEZEBURGER?!"
posted by BrodieShadeTree at 11:09 PM on June 15, 2007 [4 favorites]

What is the yellowy coloured sauce in cheeseburgers please?

1. The yellow sauce on the Cheeseburger is mustard.
posted by PercussivePaul at 2:23 AM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

McDonald's does not, and never has, funded the IRA. This story is based on an old urban myth that dates back to the 1970's when McDonald's first opened up shop in the UK. The payslips used for UK staff at that time were imported from the USA, and included printed reference to the American equivalent to NI pension contributions - the 'Individual Retirement Account' - or 'IRA' for short. The rumour that McDonald's donated to the IRA terrorist group arises from this misunderstanding.

This is partially true - whilst not specifically a donation McDonalds did in fact pay protection money to the IRA for a number of years in the 1980s and 1990s. The misunderstanding is correct (viz. the IRA = Individual Retirement Account) but to say that McDonalds and many other large companies did not in some way add to the IRA's funding at some point is not exactly true.
posted by longbaugh at 2:24 AM on June 16, 2007

McDonalds did in fact pay protection money to the IRA for a number of years in the 1980s and 1990s

Where did you hear that?
posted by pracowity at 7:35 AM on June 16, 2007

Where did you hear that?

All McDonald's hamburgers are made of beef. Nothing else. Just 100 percent beef, made from whole cuts of forequarter and flank (the same as a good mince you'd buy in the supermarket). All McDonald's adds is a pinch of salt and pepper after cooking.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:59 AM on June 16, 2007 [2 favorites]

The questions on that site are so hilarious that I can't even read them at work. Ditto for this thread.

Will return.
posted by LiliaNic at 11:41 AM on June 16, 2007

'Twas from a friend who worked in the security services. He was only 50% beef. The other 50% was made up of semen, lips, teeth etc.
posted by longbaugh at 3:57 PM on June 16, 2007

I can't believe this isn't on the sidebar yet...I literally had to stop looking for a little while to save my ribs.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 5:41 PM on June 16, 2007

Notice how all the answers refer to Golden Arches in the third person? It dawned on me: The retirement employment service for Congress, formerly run by Pfizer, has been outsourced to the UK.
posted by rob511 at 9:27 PM on June 16, 2007

This thread needs to be made into a movie.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:26 PM on June 16, 2007

why did you refuse to change the lids on your mcflurries despite 100s of hedgehogs getting trapped and killed?

for really? hedgehogs?
posted by spinturtle at 7:57 PM on June 17, 2007 [1 favorite]

The Quality Scouts are members of the public who are reporting back on their visits to McDonald’s farms and factories

It's made of people! Oh Noes!
posted by five fresh fish at 9:59 PM on June 17, 2007

Best. Post. Ever.

Thanks for this, East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94. I laughed my head off all weekend. :D
posted by zarq at 8:24 AM on June 18, 2007

what is the critical analysis of George Ritzer’s theories concerning ‘Macdonaldisation’, discussing whether it remains useful as a contemporary relevance cultural critique of rationalisation. and to what extent to which Ritzer develops the work of Max Weber in your answers.

...If you would like to find out more about the McDonald's business in order to answer the question here for your college paper, please request a Student Information Pack...

pwned.

Hope this thread goes up on the sidebar.
posted by misha at 2:45 PM on June 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

so reports tell me you tend to use grade 'E' meat in bergers and nuggets ect... should i be eating dog food at grade 'D' instead for fast food? make sence to me, better quality.

I heard you use mudkips in your beef burgers. Is this true and if you do do you like it?

Semen seems to be a huge concern...

is it true that in a branch in Kent someone got food poisoning and when the food sample was analysed it contained 5 different types of SEMEN??

What is the average semen content of a big mac?

Is it true that at one of your branches in Devon, uk - a customer got herpes on his mouth. When the source was traced, inspectors found 8 semen samples in the mayonnaise of the local Mcdonald's...?

Why was the Macdonalds in Edgware Closed down? i Heard a rumor that it was because someone masturbated in one of the burgers. is this True?
posted by misha at 8:52 PM on June 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

What measures have you put in place in your restaurants to prevent another case of Russian spies poisoning your sushi with radioactive contaminants?

someone stop me, please
posted by misha at 9:13 PM on June 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

HOLY CRAP! I didn't see that mudkips question! I actually asked whether they used charmanders in their burgers! Developmentally disabled minds think alike, I suppose.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:50 PM on June 21, 2007

update:
I'm impressed that you've posted some of the questions asked here, and I think that they show the British public in worse light than they do your company (I'm a Yank). How on Earth can you keep a straight face long enough to write the responses? I've been laughing continuously for 48 hours about the shakes being made from dogs' lips.

1. McDonald's is pleased to hear that it brightened your day! The website has been designed so that anyone and everyone can ask any reasonable question they want - from the sublime to the seemingly ridiculous - and all will be answered with the same interest and commitment. (June 2007)
posted by misha at 3:09 PM on July 9, 2007 [6 favorites]