Comments on: Start Your Own Cult, with Dr. Emeril Lazarus

Start Your Own Cult, with Dr. Emeril Lazarus

Kattullus — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 02:19:13 -0800

"The time is right, and the time is now! The Lord has spoken to you. He has commanded you to create the New Jerusalem, to prepare for His arrival, to gather the flock, bring together the faithful, spread the Word. Blinded like Paul on his way to Damascus, you are now set to follow His Way. But how do you start such an ambitious project?" Dr. Emeril Lazarus has all the answers.

By: amyms

amyms — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 03:16:31 -0800

I LOLed.

By: doctor_negative

doctor_negative — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 04:03:22 -0800

People skills can be broken down into two main groupings: attracting people, and then crushing their individuality to your will. Or, at least, it's always worked for me.

By: mattoxic

mattoxic — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 04:05:25 -0800

Ooooh, I can almost taste the koolaid, where do I sign

By: amyms

amyms — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 04:09:44 -0800

Not koolaid, mattoxic... That's for politics... Religious cults prefer FlavorAid.

By: zouhair

zouhair — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 04:26:06 -0800

hehehe

By: imperium

imperium — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 05:04:25 -0800

Some cults have found in beneficial to dispense with sexual urges entirely, believing them to be unclean and influenced, perhaps, by the Devil or other Evil Forces That Lurk Unseen. If this describes you and your organization this article is not for you! Check my article on Castration instead. No thanks! I'll stick with "Controlling Sexual Attractions" instead.

By: three blind mice

three blind mice — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 07:03:55 -0800

Let's kick it up a notch.

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 07:26:22 -0800

A wonderful resource, Kattallus, thanks much for this valuable link.

By: priyatam

priyatam — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 07:41:29 -0800

The Cult.

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 09:26:21 -0800

My black Nikes are itching my feet.

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 09:59:06 -0800

That'd be the flames of hell licking at your heels, Miss Lynnster.

By: kch

kch — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 18:05:55 -0800

check the Castration article- "don't waste the protein" !!!

By: kch

kch — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 18:11:12 -0800

one more: "but here are a few things to keep in mind. Look for sites on magnetic meridiens for better channelling of Telluric Currents. Do not worry about being too far from Jerusalem--I have received a prophecy that God will be destroying it in a few years anyway."

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 20:02:58 -0800

I have received a prophecy that God wants us to stop believing in Him. He's been getting razzed by the other pan-dimensional interstellar immortal beings. Whenever he tries to get a word in edgewise they're like, "why don't you just go play with that humanity of yours on that little speck you used to fawn over? Got any more children you can let them kill for you?" He really wishes we'd stop praying to Him too, cuz that just gives His peers more ammunition with which to make fun of Him. We're embarrassing Him.

By: eye of newt

eye of newt — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 21:58:49 -0800

As soon as a movie critic says a movie is going to become a cult classic, it is doomed to be a boring, forgotten movie. I think religious cults are the same thing. You can't call it a cult. It has to become one on its own. It is like a comedian asking people to clap for him. If he has to do that you know he isn't funny. If a religion calls itself a cult, you know it really isn't.

By: priyatam

priyatam — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 11:27:34 -0800

Here you go.