Paris Hilton in Jail

June 16, 2007 2:46 PM

Sarah Silverman roasting Paris Hilton at the MTV Movie Awards.
[single-link one-minute youtube post!]
posted by alona (62 comments total)

Ummm... Wendell? Are you there? Or are you busy sending spam?
posted by miss lynnster at 2:49 PM on June 16, 2007

Who the hell is Paris Hilton?
posted by swell at 2:51 PM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Honestly, even though Paris Hilton is deplorably shallow, a horrible example, and deserving of any legal action taken against her, I can't really support this. Jail is an appropriate punishment; I'm not sure that having an auditorium full of people laugh at her defeat in her presence is called for. I hate to come out in support of a celebutante, but this is a bit much for me.
Besides, there are smarter jokes to make than "Paris sucks dick."
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 2:51 PM on June 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

Actually, I'll admit I thought this was very funny when I first saw it... the only possible way to make a Paris Hilton joke uniquely funny anymore is by having the nerve to do it right to her face. The way she acted maternally concerned for her feelings immediately afterwards is what really made it work, though.
posted by miss lynnster at 2:51 PM on June 16, 2007

Just because I'm in jail, it dosn't mean I can't get this post deleted. Just watch!
posted by Paris Hilton at 2:51 PM on June 16, 2007 [11 favorites]

in theory im against all deletions but... delete this please
posted by petsounds at 2:51 PM on June 16, 2007

Sarah Silverman is usually much, much funnier. This is not the best Silverman thread that could happen. Shame, really.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:52 PM on June 16, 2007

The way she acted maternally concerned for her feelings

Maternally? How can you have a motherly view of your own feelings? Did you mean materially?
posted by Paris Hilton at 2:53 PM on June 16, 2007

And keep in mind... this joke was made a week or two before Paris was crying in the back of a cop car like a human being displaying emotions. Easier to feel sympathy for her now.
posted by miss lynnster at 2:53 PM on June 16, 2007

Best of the web, that would be nice.
posted by ijsbrand at 2:55 PM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

No, the way SARAH SILVERMAN put her hand to her chest and sympathetically said, "Oh, honey." or whatever she said. Right after insulting her. Um, I mean... you.
posted by miss lynnster at 2:55 PM on June 16, 2007

Silverman's bit demonstrates how venal, shallow and stupid a great deal of modern "comedy" has become. The only other time I've seen this woman was for a moment on TV where she was doing fart jokes.
posted by Tube at 3:00 PM on June 16, 2007

Sarah Silverman is great, and her whole image and comedy is about being immature and in-your-face.
posted by alona at 3:07 PM on June 16, 2007

[this is not good]
posted by Busithoth at 3:08 PM on June 16, 2007

Heh. This IS funny, but your timing sucks.

And anyone who feels sympathy for Paris Hilton because she blubbed a bit needs to be taken out and shot.
posted by Artw at 3:12 PM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Funny if she's agreed to be roasted like at the Friar's Club or something. Funny if she can even laugh at it herself. But the crwod's cheers at the "she's going to prison" and her reaction to the jokes...well, it made me feel uncomfortable, and I wasn't even there.

Metafilter is too classy for Paris Hilton posts, anyway.
posted by misha at 3:13 PM on June 16, 2007

And at the aftershow party she shot all these stupid fucking fish in a barrel. But then I've thought Sarah Silverman is completely overrated from the first time I saw her (in the completely overrated The Aristocrats).
posted by nanojath at 3:14 PM on June 16, 2007

Silverman is a hack. Cute girl with a bad mouth. Revolutionary...
posted by lovejones at 3:19 PM on June 16, 2007

As desperately as I want to find Sarah Silverman funny (largely because I think there's she's hot), it has yet to happen.
posted by JaredSeth at 3:19 PM on June 16, 2007

I really enjoy Sarah Silverman, and I got a good laugh over this. She makes me feel uncomfortable in a way that only people who are consciously pushing boundaries can. My favourite is her skit about the gems at the tailbones of African babies. Sure, you have to kill the babies, but if you saw these diamonds...! Wow.
posted by arcticwoman at 3:20 PM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

The only other time I've seen this woman was for a moment on TV where she was doing fart jokes.

When she was a kid, she and her family had this amazing vaudeville act...
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:27 PM on June 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

This makes me begin to wonder what sort of radical form of poetic justice will eventually befall Sarah Silverman. They're both incredibly crass women, in fact, I have a hard time telling the difference sometimes.
posted by litfit at 3:31 PM on June 16, 2007

!

ROU_Xenophobe

Oh, right... the one with the cucumber, the mule, and the sherry enema.

What did they call themselves, again?
posted by The Confessor at 3:34 PM on June 16, 2007

Isn't Sarah Silverman's boyfriend Jimmy Kimmell? There's your poetic justice, litfit.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 3:34 PM on June 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

To be catty for a moment, leave it to Sarah Silverman to be an expert on annoying celebrities who fuck their way to a mediocre career.

That out of the way, this is a shitty clip of an event from two weeks ago that anyone who would care already saw that will likely die in the next 24 hours because MTV enforces copyright on YouTube.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 3:35 PM on June 16, 2007

"creepy populism"--Hilton --Hitches--slate
posted by acro at 3:46 PM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Not content with seeing her undressed and variously penetrated, it seems to be assumed that we need to watch her being punished and humiliated as well. The supposedly "broad-minded" culture turns out to be as prurient and salacious as the elders in The Scarlet Letter. Hilton is legally an adult but the treatment she is receiving stinks—indeed it reeks—of whatever horrible, buried, vicarious impulse underlies kiddie porn and child abuse.

posted by acro at 3:48 PM on June 16, 2007

Thanks for the link, acro. Girl needs to serve her time like anyone else would, but something about celebrating this really does stink of a lynching.
posted by litfit at 3:54 PM on June 16, 2007

Thanks for posting Hitchens, acro. Being able to read that kind of - kind of - redeems this thread.
posted by rmm at 3:55 PM on June 16, 2007

Hitches is a moron.
posted by Paris Hilton at 3:57 PM on June 16, 2007

Paris Hilton?
posted by Citizen Premier at 4:05 PM on June 16, 2007

Way to go Sarah , you made me both care about , and feel sorry for Paris Hilton.
posted by nola at 4:13 PM on June 16, 2007

Thats a first for me.
posted by nola at 4:16 PM on June 16, 2007

according to the latimes (doing cutting edge journalism), she's spending a tad bit more than the average shlub would.

to sum:
The Times analyzed 2 million jail releases and found 1,500 cases since July 2002 that — like Hilton's — involved defendants who had been arrested for drunk driving and later sentenced to jail after a probation violation or driving without a license.

Had Hilton left jail for good after four days, her stint behind bars would have been similar to those served by 60% of those inmates.

But after a judge sent her back to jail Friday, Hilton's attorney announced that she would serve the full 23 days. That means that Hilton will end up serving more time than 80% of other people in similar situations.

this is not a defense, and gods help me I hope it's the end of my involvement with the whole phenom, but I found it illuminating (Tip of the hat to)

and I like Silverman, but this isn't new, and I didn't know a soul who escaped its rounds after the awards.
posted by Busithoth at 4:17 PM on June 16, 2007

Nope, not funny.
posted by Jikido at 4:18 PM on June 16, 2007

Wow, Hitchens is completely full of shit. He makes it sound like the public has been hounding Paris for years, while all that time she has suffered again and again because people just wouldn't leave her alone. Could it be, perhaps, that for several years she actively courted any and all publicity? That she purposefully made a spectacle of herself and kept herself in the public eye? And that now it turns out that once in the spotlight, the same public you have gotten to focus you through increasingly outlandish behavior will turn on you in a heartbeat and laugh at your misfortunes? Hitchens' piece is beyond ridiculous. I don't think she deserves all the attacks she's getting, but in a large measure she brought this on herself, which Hitchens completely ignores. If she were just some rich girl who got in trouble, it might make a blip in the tabloids but certainly wouldn't be on CNN and the major papers. They carry her stories because that's what she's been pushing them to do for years.
posted by Sangermaine at 4:25 PM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

I loved this clip when I saw it (the day after the MTV awards) and I loved the Paris Hilton thread here (which this should have been in). But enough. This doesn't belong up here and is just going to unnecessarily irritate everyone who already (vociferously) reached their saturation point with the other thread.

Ackowledging with a wink that it's a short single-link youtube post doesn't let you off the hook for pasting boogers in the blue.
posted by hermitosis at 4:25 PM on June 16, 2007

On preview: GYOBFW
posted by hermitosis at 4:27 PM on June 16, 2007

Thanks for the link, acro. Girl needs to serve her time like anyone else would, but something about celebrating this really does stink of a lynching.

Well, I was going to stay out of this, but that Hitchens riff is just too reeking a pile of sanctimonious horseshit to ignore.

So now, a young woman knows that, everywhere she goes, this is what people are visualizing, and giggling about. She hasn't a rag of privacy to her name. But this turns out to be only a prelude.

Well, boo fucking hoo, Hitch - and I'm being generous by not quoting the bigger pile where you call her a "tearful child."

Everything about Paris Hilton - every fibre of her being, every overt action she's taken since she was a teenager sneaking into exclusive NYC clubs, practically every breath she's taken post-puberty - has been carefully calibrated to arrive at this moment. Her entire existence has been dedicated to being invited to meaningless awards shows, to possess enough renown to warrant special attention in the monologues at those shows, to be a tabloid cover girl hounded constantly.

Not only does she deserve not a single shred of sympathy for her current situation, it might be the only thing she deserves real praise for. Well done, Ms. Hilton: you've transformed almost no discernable talent and not-particularly-remarkable dynastic wealth into that level of fame so enormous that not even other celebrities can muster false sympathy in your presence.

Hitchens, on the other hand? The fact that he'd go this way on this issue is all you need to know about how reflexive his contrarianism has become. "Hasn't a rag of privacy"? What, you mean at the end of decade-long auction of the stuff she herself conducted with nothing but massive fame and even greater fortune to show for it? Poor tearful child. Hitchens, I mean.
posted by gompa at 4:28 PM on June 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

that dress sarah's wearing reminds me of a pup tent i slept in as a child ... between that and the fact she thinks you give blowjobs with your teeth, it's no wonder she can't get herself a date ...
posted by pyramid termite at 4:32 PM on June 16, 2007

Not funny and very old. Did your grandmother send you this?
posted by justgary at 4:34 PM on June 16, 2007

Pyramid, she's actually famously canoodling with Jimmy Kimmel.
posted by hermitosis at 4:35 PM on June 16, 2007

Ah Hitchens... "The purpose of this book is not to prove God does not exist; it is to prove I am cleverer than Richard Dawkins."
posted by Artw at 4:41 PM on June 16, 2007

Hermitosis, I think Kimmel's brand of painfully NOT funny has rubbed off (heh) on Silverman.
posted by Liosliath at 4:47 PM on June 16, 2007

Hermitosis, I think Kimmel's brand of painfully NOT funny has rubbed off (heh) on Silverman.

So, you watched her Comedy Central meta-sitcom too?
posted by maryh at 4:50 PM on June 16, 2007

Everything about Paris Hilton - every fibre of her being, every overt action she's taken since she was a teenager sneaking into exclusive NYC clubs, practically every breath she's taken post-puberty - has been carefully calibrated to arrive at this moment. Her entire existence has been dedicated to being invited to meaningless awards shows, to possess enough renown to warrant special attention in the monologues at those shows, to be a tabloid cover girl hounded constantly.

My first awareness of Paris Hilton came as a result of a political cartoon syndicated in my hometown newspaper. At the time I was reading the Times every morning (I parked at the journalism school, it was free) and generally managing to avoid television for the most part. The cartoon was something about a wife getting excited about taking a trip to France because her husband had been googling Paris Hilton. I didn't get the joke. So I googled "Paris Hilton". I got an eyeful of some vapid, skinny girl getting plowed in monochromatic infrared nightvision green.

As far as my awareness of her, she was an old media creation who didn't seek her own fame, but once she had it, tried her level best to wrestle it to the ground in some sort of semi-respectable fashion. Problem is the girl doesn't know from respectable.

Not only does she deserve not a single shred of sympathy for her current situation, it might be the only thing she deserves real praise for. Well done, Ms. Hilton: you've transformed almost no discernable talent and not-particularly-remarkable dynastic wealth into that level of fame so enormous that not even other celebrities can muster false sympathy in your presence.

Right. She deserves no sympathy. But don't make an ass of yourself by piling on. Ignore it.

Hitchens, on the other hand? The fact that he'd go this way on this issue is all you need to know about how reflexive his contrarianism has become. "Hasn't a rag of privacy"? What, you mean at the end of decade-long auction of the stuff she herself conducted with nothing but massive fame and even greater fortune to show for it? Poor tearful child. Hitchens, I mean.

He drinks a bit much and gets a tad weepy, but at least he's showing a little fucking class.
posted by litfit at 4:51 PM on June 16, 2007

This thread is like a parade of wrong...
posted by Artw at 4:53 PM on June 16, 2007

and Sarah Silverman officially jumps the shark.

Paris should just wear a sign-on her back that says: "please misdirect your working-class outrage here. -sincerely, the rich people who really run things."
posted by drjimmy11 at 4:57 PM on June 16, 2007 [5 favorites]

I got an eyeful of some vapid, skinny girl getting plowed in monochromatic infrared nightvision green.

No, that was full color, litfit. She's actually part amphibian (originally from Frogtown, but not related to Hell), so her skin is actually green and her eyes glow. She sometimes wears normal-skintone makeup at awards shows.

All other Aristocrats jokes pale before Gilbert Gottfried's. Of COURSE there's blood!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:01 PM on June 16, 2007

The MTV movie awards were AGES ago... well, in the fleeting world of celebrity news. So much has happened since then. This footage is considered an historical archive.
posted by spec80 at 5:02 PM on June 16, 2007

Who would have thought that Paris Hilton has more class than Sarah Silverman.
posted by Pastabagel at 5:07 PM on June 16, 2007

I saw Sarah Silverman in The Aristocrats. It was the most unfunny part of the movie. Well, her and Bob Saget.
posted by puke & cry at 5:27 PM on June 16, 2007

Hmm, I thought Silverman and Saget were two of the funniest in that movie. Apparently, we are mortal enemies, Puke and Cry.
posted by jefbla at 5:40 PM on June 16, 2007

I haven't seen it in a while but from what I remember, Saget was really disjointed in his delivery, making little side comments. Really killed the joke, I though. And Silverman's attitude changed to abruptly at the end of her joke, which killed the delivery. I thought Gilbert Gottfried was pretty solid though.
posted by puke & cry at 5:49 PM on June 16, 2007

changed too abruptly
posted by puke & cry at 5:49 PM on June 16, 2007

Whenever I've seen Sarah Silverman, I've had a strange reaction:

I understand that she's making fun of the attitude that she is displaying. And on some level, I want to like that.

But her typical line seems to be something like "Black people rob stuff! Did you notice me say black people rob stuff? I said black people rob stuff!".

Again, I understand that it's supposed to be a meta kind of thing. I'm not opposed to it or anything. It's just that, with Silverman, there's no joke to her jokes. They're just shock: "Chink! I said 'chink'!"

In fairness, there is occasionally something that she does that I get a kick out of. For example, I enjoyed her song imploring Santa Claus to bring her presents despite the fact that she's Jewish:

Don't be a douche - what would Jesus do?
He'd say, "Give the Jew girl toys, give the Jew girl toys"

posted by Flunkie at 5:59 PM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

The episode where she thought she was a lesbian and the gay guys dressed up like cans of Tab was funny. Really funny.

Tig's vagina.
posted by vronsky at 6:16 PM on June 16, 2007

As far as my awareness of her, she was an old media creation who didn't seek her own fame, but once she had it, tried her level best to wrestle it to the ground in some sort of semi-respectable fashion.

So you don't know what you're talking about then. Got it. This girl's had a publicist and a manager since before she was old enough to drive.

He drinks a bit much and gets a tad weepy, but at least he's showing a little fucking class.

See, lots of people do those things - I do them myself - but most of us restrain ourselves from doing them in the form of a Slate column. Everyone's got their own idea of class, I guess.
posted by gompa at 6:59 PM on June 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Flunkie, your comment sums up the way I feel about her perfectly. I used to really like her stand-up act, but after watching a 3 episode block of her Comedy Central show I had this sinking feeling that I'd been projecting more onto her act than was actually there. You take away the "this-is-a-joke-about-how-people-tell-jokes-about-black-people" kinda thing and you're left with... well, what, Coulter Lite? It's not just that she may be a mean/shallow comic, but without context a lot of her stuff consists of like-a-jokes that seem funnier because a sweet looking girl (well, back in the day. Mee-OOOW!) is delivering them.

And the Hilton thing- There's low hanging fruit, and then there's fruit delivered to your door, pre-peeled, cut into nibble sized rosettes, and hand fed to you on the tips of dazzling silver skewers by the help. Cheapest cheap shot ever.
posted by maryh at 7:03 PM on June 16, 2007

Sarah Silverman singing "Amazing Grace" solo. In three part harmony.
posted by ColdChef at 7:13 PM on June 16, 2007

ColdChef, I think I hate you.
posted by Liosliath at 7:34 PM on June 16, 2007

This girl's had a publicist and a manager since before she was old enough to drive.

Cite your sources on this "fact" or quit making unqualified claims, trolling and karma-whoring.
posted by litfit at 7:41 PM on June 16, 2007