March 6, 2001

8:36 AM

Baby Think It Over. Teens care for a lifelike doll programmed to do all the things a baby does--including waking them up in the middle of the night. "It's a seven-pound, computerized contraceptive!"
posted by frykitty (15 comments total)

Actually, some high schools have been doing something like this for a very long time, only cheaper. What they require is that their students keep a raw egg with them for a week, 24-hours per day, without breaking it. They have to take it with them everywhere they go.

As strange as it sounds, it's apparently very successful in demonstrating to the kids just how much work caring for a kid is.
posted by Steven Den Beste at 8:38 AM on March 6, 2001

I've heard of that program--but an egg doesn't ruin your sleep. I'm for realism, m'self. These kids really grow to hate the responsibility.
posted by frykitty at 8:55 AM on March 6, 2001

I took part in an "Egg Parenting" experiment in Junior High, as part of Home Economics. Let me tell you, it taught me NOTHING about taking care of a baby! It was cute, everyone loved it, we all decorated our eggs and made them cute baskets. The only responsibilty I had was to find someone to watch it during gym class - not tough at all. It didn't eat, it didn't poop, it didn't cry, it didn't do anything. "Baby Think It Over" sounds like a much better project.
posted by xsquared-1 at 9:10 AM on March 6, 2001

If it's really a realistic doll, it should sleep more soundly when it spends the night in bed with the parent(s), nursed to sleep.

Oh yeah, and in the evenings, it should indicate that it wants to be fed with increased frequency, like every 15-30 minutes. This is how they manage to go longer at night, by filling up their tummies a bit more with high-fat milk.

Okay, I'm a lacto-freak, so I think these things are primitive at best. Make 'em take care of a *real* baby for awhile, that would be more realistic.

They could room in with a mom o triplets or something, waking for the night feedings, and giving the mother a bit of a break.

Or even moms o non-triplets. New moms need *tons* of help that they don't get, so why not teach teens in a more realistic way *and* keep mothers of new babies from getting post-partum depression (or psychosis)?

For cruel and unusual punishment, you could have 'em care for a real baby during the day with *no tv*. That'd help...
posted by beth at 9:26 AM on March 6, 2001

If you want to scare teenagers into either abstinence or careful use of contraceptives, nothing beats a good movie. That'll sure make you think twice about premature parenthood.
posted by anapestic at 9:43 AM on March 6, 2001

Ick. My biggest experience with my egg was that I had to get some thing signed and I always forgot and got detentions. Somehow I doubt that taught me much.

The baby doll was stupid because it forced you into doing really dangerous things you shouldn't do with a kid, like holding it while you're driving.

Maybe you should make them try to teach kids like I had to. Putting up with little brats who ask you things like "How do you say Travis in German? How do you say Brianna in German?" and get in arguments whenever you try to get them to to do Cute Little Group Projects...
posted by dagnyscott at 9:51 AM on March 6, 2001

The baby doll was stupid because it forced you into doing really dangerous things you shouldn't do with a kid, like holding it while you're driving.

No, that's the situation that you concocted for yourself. You do NOT drive while holding a fussing child. You pull over, and attend to the child's needs, then get back on the road. You decided to be risky and foolish; don't blame it on the baby.
posted by Dreama at 10:21 AM on March 6, 2001

They had these at my high school.
I got in big trouble in my art class for rolling a piece of paper up and sticking it in the doll's nose and having it 'snort' a line of glitter on the table.
Also, I remember watching someone who couldn't turn off the crying, so they wrapped it in their jacket and locked it in their locker.
posted by sonofsamiam at 10:24 AM on March 6, 2001

Also, I remember watching someone who couldn't turn off the crying, so they wrapped it in their jacket and locked it in their locker.

A real baby would've ruined that jacket.

I think 2 in the afternoon at any McDonald's is a good lesson. This is the time when you get parents with cranky children, both of whom have gone slightly past lunchtime and the only thing they can do is pray that a McD's is nearby.
posted by amanda at 11:34 AM on March 6, 2001

I thought that the VD films they showed in my high school were a pretty good disincentive. I spent a half hour trying to find the title of one they showed us which was animated and set in a war room with armies of germs. It also featured pus-exuding chancres on surprising body parts.
posted by plinth at 1:15 PM on March 6, 2001

No, that's the situation that you concocted for yourself. You do NOT drive while holding a fussing child. You pull over, and attend to the child's needs, then get back on the road. You decided to be risky and foolish; don't blame it on the baby.

I don't drive while holding a fussing child (or doll, which is wht I was talking about), because I took real classes, not parenting. This is the story I heard from some random girl who was taking parenting who was the assistant person in my biology class. When did I say that this is what I did?
posted by dagnyscott at 1:28 PM on March 6, 2001

The lengths that Americans will go to to avoid decent sex education in schools continues to amaze me.
posted by lagado at 3:26 PM on March 6, 2001

Geez, Dagny. You said "you," meaning apparently, "someone," and Dreama also said "you," meaning, apparently, "someone." What's the difference"?
posted by rodii at 3:27 PM on March 6, 2001

I would have the damned thing dispense contraceptives:

• The doll (with built-in clock and calendar) would keep track for non-mommy and would scream and puke and shit and kick and rotate its head 360 degrees and so on until non-mommy removed her pill from a dispenser built into the doll and presumably gobbled it down.

• Twist its ear and a rubber pops out of a little toaster slot on top of its head.

Also, for those scary school training programs, give it a proximity sensor (like one of those bracelets they use to track people on parole) so that the teenager you're trying to frighten would wear a bracelet and not be able to get more than a few feet away from baby within an alarm going off in the bracelet and the baby screaming and puking and shitting and kicking and rotating its head 360 degrees ...



posted by pracowity at 1:49 AM on March 8, 2001

And it talks backwards and vomits pea soup! And violates itself with a cross!
posted by sonofsamiam at 8:00 AM on March 8, 2001