Comments on: Comments on 6223

Post number 6223

tobyslater — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 09:17:37 -0800

KPMG Consultanting's official corporate song - playable as Shockwave audio or as an mp3. The lyrics of this suitably wishy-washy and jargon-laden elevator anthem may inspire you: "KPMG, we're strong as can be, a team of power and energy. We go for the gold, together we hold to our vision of global strategy..."

By: tobyslater

tobyslater — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 09:21:49 -0800

Not sure what "Consultanting" is but it sounds impressive. Apologies for the typo... is there any way to edit messages once they've being posted?

By: freakytrigger

freakytrigger — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 09:28:17 -0800

And there's plenty more where that came from...

By: raettig

raettig — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 09:34:02 -0800

*nod* - the jungle version (linked from the corporateanthems website) is particularly special. thankfully, everyone i've spoken to at kpmg has been appropriately embarassed by the whole thing ;-)

By: vanderwal2

vanderwal2 — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 09:50:52 -0800

This makes me happy to work in a small company.

By: Chairman_MaoXian

Chairman_MaoXian — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 10:02:40 -0800

Is the corporate anthem supposed to inspire the "troops?" Perhaps it's intended to amuse them. Imagine what they paid for that shlock, sheesh, corporate waste at its finest.

By: sonofsamiam

sonofsamiam — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 10:19:35 -0800

I wish it was my job to write those songs. I write the songs that make the whole world SUCK.

By: Skot

Skot — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 10:24:37 -0800

Don't turn around, wah-oh! (Zsa zsa!) Der Komissar's in town! Wah-oh!

By: armando

armando — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 10:32:29 -0800

I couldn't even make it past the first 30 seconds. It's awful.

By: jasonshellen

jasonshellen — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 10:42:16 -0800

Yikes. Sounds like Kathi Lee Gifford. All if would motivate me to do is to start looking for another job.

By: davidfg

davidfg — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 10:44:43 -0800

I always wonder about the people who have to sing these things. How do they manage to sound soulful and impassioned while doing umpteen takes of a song about global strategy or Ford trucks or Tampax? How do they live with themselves afterwards?

By: Mekon

Mekon — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 12:12:53 -0800

If you want a good company song, work for a university. On Wisconsin is better than anything KPMG has.

By: skwm

skwm — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 12:47:55 -0800

Theres a pretty good compilation of ridicuolous corporate themesongs. most of which date from the 50's and 60's. I don't know the name of the album, but a former roommate of mine had it on cd. Some are short jingles, but the best track on the album is a 9 or 10 minute long song, extolling the virtues of using coal as a heat source. I think it was called "Everybody Get A Little Cold, Sometimes," and dates from somewhere in 60's. The song starts off with a little girl talking about the summer, how wonderful it is to be warm, over some orchestral bubbley pop. Soon though, winter sets in, and the music turns to scray psychadelic music, with some evil baritone vocals. Once the narrator ventures inside though, everything turns sweet again, thanks to the wonders of coal heating. If anyone has any idea as to what the name of this record is, *please* let me know (d_jurnove@hotmail.com).

By: Dreama

Dreama — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 13:01:22 -0800

In college, I worked at a jingle mill. The bulk of our work was creating musical drops for radio, with occasional commercial work. It was tedious and dumb, spending all day singing "KPTC, Omaha's At Work Station" and "KDKA, something special's on the air." But never was work more horrifying than the day I was told that our assignment was to record a corporate theme song for a huge agribusiness concern in the midwest. Never in my life have I sung anything as scary as "Corn, golden and glorious, the heart of our business, corn, it's everything to us." I'm making myself slightly nauseous just remembering it. Gah.

By: raku

raku — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 13:34:48 -0800

I hate to think, given some of the places I've worked, what a compilation of my employment career might sound like. Assuming these are mostly taken internally, like nasty medicine, why in the world would any company think this was a good idea?

By: shinybeast

shinybeast — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 13:51:26 -0800

Want a corporate anthem of your very own? Scott will demo one for you, at a price that can't be beat. According to Scott: "So here's the deal: There's no money to spend up-front; so you've got nothing to lose. Just send an e-mail with your idea for a commercial jingle or for a personal song you'd like to have written. You can suggest lyrics, song styles, etc. You will be contacted a week later. A rough cut of the song will be posted at a secret site for you to preview. Then you can decide if you want to pay to continue the work. You can work out the $ considerations privately at that time." Anybody want to write some lyrics for Metafilter?

By: Skot

Skot — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 14:18:55 -0800

Never trust anyone who doesn't know the correct spelling of "Skot."

By: sonofsamiam

sonofsamiam — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 14:26:07 -0800

Anybody want to write some lyrics for Metafilter? o/~ Oooohhhh... I ain't seen my dog since the neighbor kilt 'er, I drown my sorrows in MetaFilter... My aunt's the county's champion quilter, She trades her patterns on MetaFilter... Ooooohhh... o/~

By: BobInce

BobInce — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 14:26:15 -0800

I'm downloading with trepidation, since I have the sgi CD and its wounds still ache. If that's only number twelve I dread to think what the rest are like. Sure it's BS, but these are corporations - what can one *expect* them to sing about? "We're-compelled to-make mon-ey for-our sharehol-derrrs/ We have no-particular vision for the worrrrrld/ Our services are-prob-ab-ly-no better or worrrrse/ than our competitors"? Hey, that's quite catchy...

By: argybarg

argybarg — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 14:40:23 -0800

How about: MetaFilter, MetaFilter, not as good as it used to be. Please don't self-post, this topic is more appropriate to MetaTalk. Hey, doublepostguy! Oh, baby. MetaFilter, MetaFilter, this looks like a troll to me. Why do you whiny liberals think every posting by a conservative is a troll? You two take this to email. Baby, yeah. bridge: Aaaieeee!! Scary pictures of Michael Jackson. Excuse me, but Dubya did steal that election, Blogger is down!! Any news from Pyra? MetaFilter, MetaFilter, Warning: Salon post. You really should warn about linking to a 2.4meg video. Flash isn't evil, but this is Flashturbation. Don't mention Jakob Nielsen. No no no, yeah yeah yeah. I'm willing to donate any profits.

By: mathowie

mathowie — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 14:51:22 -0800

*sniff* argybarg, that was beautiful man. (you forgot to mention "when headlines go bad", "I hate that damn a-list!", "kottke! kottke! kottke!", and "NYT: sorry, it requires registration" in a verse.)

By: allaboutgeorge

allaboutgeorge — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 15:22:10 -0800

*holds lit lighter aloft in tribute to argybarg*

By: shinybeast

shinybeast — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 21:33:35 -0800

Nice! Not quite as catchy as "Blind Man's Penis", but still worthy of booty shaking. Were those lyrics written with a particular melody in mind? Or a particular musical style? In the interest of science, I would be happy to e-mail them to Scott.

By: argybarg

argybarg — Tue, 06 Mar 2001 22:20:57 -0800

I should think Scott would know best. Although if it could, at some point, segue from Bob Seger-style ballad to cheesy calypso I'd be all for it.

By: Zeldman

Zeldman — Wed, 07 Mar 2001 03:16:57 -0800

this is why i love metafilter.