Comments on: One hell of an obituary

One hell of an obituary

Gamblor — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 11:40:28 -0800

"Count Gottfried von Bismarck, who was found dead on Monday aged 44, was a louche German aristocrat with a multi-faceted history as a pleasure-seeking heroin addict, hell-raising alcoholic, flamboyant waster and a reckless and extravagant host of homosexual orgies."

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 11:46:42 -0800

Man, the dude was mad louche.

By: kuujjuarapik

kuujjuarapik — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 11:47:21 -0800

The Bismarck that sinks itself.

By: jamesonandwater

jamesonandwater — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 11:48:19 -0800

"When not clad in the lederhosen of his homeland, he cultivated an air of sophisticated complexity by appearing in women's clothes, set off by lipstick and fishnet stockings" Ha! I saw this on Present Tense yesterday and it had me cracking me up all day. Sadly, google image search gave me nothing :(

By: dammitjim

dammitjim — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 11:48:31 -0800

By: ericb

ericb — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 11:49:06 -0800

I recall this from last August -- "Tragedy hits another party hosted by flamboyant count. Gay party at aristocrat's penthouse ends in 60ft death plunge."

By: Zephyrial

Zephyrial — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 11:49:37 -0800

"He never married." You don't say. Hmmm.

By: psmealey

psmealey — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 11:53:58 -0800

Paris Hilton is Debbie Boone next to this guy.

By: lekvar

lekvar — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 11:54:57 -0800

I never thought I'd be so intensely jealous of an obituary.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 11:57:28 -0800

Huh. Rocky Horror lives!

By: gomichild

gomichild — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 11:57:42 -0800

I can only hope my own obituary reads so energetically.

By: litfit

litfit — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:06:42 -0800

Ach. What a painful life to live without consequences.

By: DU

DU — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:07:19 -0800

I'm getting the impression from this obit that Count Von was a little light in the lederhosen. Or am I reading too much into it?

By: pupdog

pupdog — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:10:19 -0800

was a louche German aristocrat Damn, I was expecting absinthe...

By: aramaic

aramaic — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:11:13 -0800

Goddamn. We really need to get serious about partying if we're to stand even the tiniest chance of defeating this dead man. OK, who's with me?

By: Gamblor

Gamblor — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:13:09 -0800

"...and became an enthusiastic, rubber-clad member of the Piers Gaveston Society and the drink-fuelled Bullingdon and Loders clubs." Clubs dedicated to sexual excess and destructive binges? I'm more than a little upset that I'm only just now learning about these people.

By: Prospero

Prospero — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:14:34 -0800

The only obituary I can think of that could legitimately end with "...The Aristocrats!"

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:19:30 -0800

He's freebasing in heaven now. .

By: timsteil

timsteil — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:22:08 -0800

I used to write obits for the Chicago Tribune years ago....damn would I have loved to write that one. That is just freakin gold Actually Prospero....I think the last line speaks for itself. Like we wouldnt have fiured that out after the page and a half on his gay orgies. I just hope the world remembers me with similar fondness.

By: 2sheets

2sheets — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:22:11 -0800

I don't need to read anything else today after that lederhosen line.

By: DU

DU — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:24:38 -0800

Hey, Hugh Grant was a member of Piers Gaveston. something something something, oral sex from a prostitute in a parked car!

By: lekvar

lekvar — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:26:59 -0800

Goddamn. We really need to get serious about partying if we're to stand even the tiniest chance of defeating this dead man. OK, who's with me? Well, aramaic, the MeFi 10-Year Anniversay is coming up. We have two years to plan this thing. You start rounding up the whores, I'll secure the opium...

By: bruce

bruce — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:28:37 -0800

since he was apparently childless, could we have a moment of measured applause for the end of the von bismarck line?

By: Pope Guilty

Pope Guilty — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:31:54 -0800

Say what you will about the tenets of hedonism, Gamblor, at least it's an ethos.

By: amberglow

amberglow — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:32:15 -0800

*declares self the inheritor of the von Bismarck line* ; >

By: peeedro

peeedro — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:32:45 -0800

since he was apparently childless, could we have a moment of measured applause for the end of the von bismarck line? No, we can't because he had an older brother, Carl-Eduard von Bismarck.

By: litfit

litfit — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:36:34 -0800

since he was apparently childless Childless, save for one miniature clone.

By: flashboy

flashboy — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:42:29 -0800

"Coroner Dr Paul Knapman said a room in the flat contained what most people would consider 'unusual' and 'bizarre'. He listed items found, including a large rubber tarpaulin on the floor, towels, lubricants, buckets of sex toys, propped-up mirrors, a butane gas canister, a box containing dozens of syringes, bottles of vodka and a television and video player, set up to show 'scenes of a pornographic nature'. ... Giving evidence at Westminster Coroner's Court today, Count von Bismarck said he had not seen any homosexual activity."

By: IndigoJones

IndigoJones — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:51:32 -0800

I guess they still do make them like they used to. Olivia Channon, incidentally, was the grand-daughter of Henry "Chips" Channon, with whom Bismarck seems to have had a few similarities. Noted gadabout of late 1930s to early 1950s politics and society in England. Married one of the Guinness family, later had an affair with Terence Rattigan. His diaries were published some years back, albeit highly expurgated. Story is that they will be available in 2018 after all the innocent and guilty are too old or dead to care. I, for one, can hardly wait.

By: nixerman

nixerman — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 12:58:31 -0800

von Bismark was a great man, even if the world is no longer capable of appreciating such elegance and sophistication. That said, the Germans, really, they overdo everything.

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 13:00:11 -0800

So is this the official end of the Golden Age?

By: ericb

ericb — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 13:00:16 -0800

Hey, Hugh Grant was a member of Piers Gaveston. something something something, oral sex from a prostitute in a parked car! Now-Millionaire Divine Brown: "I Love Hugh Grant, Hugh Grant Put My Kids Through School".

By: chinston

chinston — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 13:04:09 -0800

Forget "." Try "!"

By: ericb

ericb — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 13:05:02 -0800

I'm getting the impression from this obit that Count Von was a little light in the lederhosen. Or am I reading too much into it? This sentence was a dead-giveaway for me that he was more than a little light in the lederhosen:

"Never concealing his homosexuality, von Bismarck continued to appear in public in various eccentric items of attire..."

By: mendel

mendel — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 13:09:30 -0800

bruce: he has a brother.

By: TedW

TedW — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 13:14:03 -0800

So is this the official end of the Golden Shower Age?

By: uri

uri — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 13:14:58 -0800

Somehow, even an exclamation point doesn't do the departed justice... \m/

By: chinston

chinston — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 13:17:54 -0800

The only obituary I can think of that could legitimately end with "...The Aristocrats!" Incidentally, this is why, although I enjoyed the movie, I felt like a fundamental element of the aristocrats joke was lost on me. This guy's life is precisely what first snaps into my mind when I hear the word. Yet many of the comedians seemed to think that the contrast between the debauchery and the supposed refinement of an aristocrat was funny. I mean, the debauchery was funny in itself, but at the same time when I heard the punch line, I was like, "Uh, exactly."

By: Cranberry

Cranberry — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 13:18:38 -0800

My only regret is that the obit writer called him a "flamboyant waster" thus missing the chance to call him a "flamboyant wastrel". Wastrel is one of those loaded words that says much in a few letters.

By: hypocritical ross

hypocritical ross — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 13:26:57 -0800

Louche German = awesome obituary.

By: electroboy

electroboy — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 13:39:36 -0800

Get a room, funboys.

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 13:41:23 -0800

Huh. Rocky Horror lives! - five fresh fish That was my first reaction too. RIP sweet transvestite.

By: geos

geos — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 13:41:52 -0800

thanks hypocritical ross In what became known as the Orgy of the Year, Immendorff was discovered naked having his nipples licked by a retinue of seven young filles de joie, while 11 grams of cocaine lay ready for consumption on a Versace ashtray nearby. Notwithstanding his exotic private life - he had also been a luminary of Dusseldorf's sadomasochistic scene - Immendorff was regarded by many critics as an original and vigorous artist of great complexity. vigorous indeed.

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 13:44:30 -0800

Dammit, I want to lead an "exotic life of gilded aimlessness!" Life is so unfair.

By: bukvich

bukvich — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:00:16 -0800

Did they have a cause of death in there? Also I didn't get the part about he "only earned a third" and then later he is running around with a PhD. Do they give booby-prize PhD's in England? These are quibbles. That is a great post.

By: ninjew

ninjew — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:00:56 -0800

His removal from Oxford was so abrupt that he was not given time to settle his bills; Prince Ferdinand sent a servant who did the rounds of von Bismarck's favoured watering-holes, restaurants and his tailor bearing a chequebook. That's how you know you're someone. Some polite Englishman running about with a chequebook, paying off your tabs.

By: kirkaracha

kirkaracha — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:07:34 -0800

You know who else liked lederhosen?

By: kirkaracha

kirkaracha — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:10:27 -0800

Hint: it was Hitler.

By: Gamblor

Gamblor — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:12:43 -0800

Did they have a cause of death in there? If I had to guess, I'd say everything.

By: ericb

ericb — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:14:02 -0800

Be it known, though, that most cats don't like wearing lederhosen.

By: ericb

ericb — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:16:12 -0800

"British newspapers reported that he had suffered a heroin overdose. A postmortem examination was to be held."^*

By: kosem

kosem — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:26:25 -0800

The only obituary I can think of that could legitimately end with "...The Aristocrats!" Incidentally, this is why, although I enjoyed the movie, I felt like a fundamental element of the aristocrats joke was lost on me. This guy's life is precisely what first snaps into my mind when I hear the word. Yet many of the comedians seemed to think that the contrast between the debauchery and the supposed refinement of an aristocrat was funny. I mean, the debauchery was funny in itself, but at the same time when I heard the punch line, I was like, "Uh, exactly."" I believe that one of the British comedians interviewed makes this point exactly in the film The Aristocrats.

By: kcds

kcds — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:29:02 -0800

"He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament... "

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:33:58 -0800

I keep rereading the obit, and I find new things to envy each time. I hope SCIENCE can preserve his brain and transplant it into Hedonism-bot.

By: salishsea

salishsea — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:39:02 -0800

Metafliter: "an exotic life of gilded aimlessness"

By: John of Michigan

John of Michigan — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:54:09 -0800

I remember this cat! He was in The Simpsons: Ja ja ja, mach schnell mit der art things, huh? I must get back to Dancecentrum in Stuttgart in time to see Kraftwerk. Hey, und dummkopf! Watch out for the CD-changer in my trunk, eh? Idiot.

By: hortense

hortense — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 15:02:12 -0800

Otto:"my dear I could buy a battleship with what I've spent on you. Olivia: "you could float one with what you've spent in me!"

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 15:14:19 -0800

shouldn't that be "you could ~~float~~ man one with what you've spent in me!"...?

By: LooseFilter

LooseFilter — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 15:16:09 -0800

(kcds, is that Mr. Show?)

By: rhymer

rhymer — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 15:25:50 -0800

This is a far better headline.

By: Zonker

Zonker — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 15:38:14 -0800

Wowee, the Bismarcks have come a long way since "sondern durch Eisen und Blut." But I'd probably still have to agree with Tom Lehrer that "the juiciest, spiciest, raciest obituary it has ever been my pleasure to read" was that of Alma Mahler Gropius Werfel.

By: WPW

WPW — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 15:46:49 -0800

I hope SCIENCE can preserve his brain and transplant it into Hedonism-bot. It sounds like he devoted most of his life to getting out of his head. Science is presumably welcome to his brain - he was clearly devoted to escaping it, or rather the thoughts within. I found this story rather sad.

By: retronic

retronic — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 16:08:33 -0800

(kcds, is that Mr. Show?) posted by LooseFilter That's a Dr. Evil quote from one of the Austin Powers flicks, IIRC.

By: stbalbach

stbalbach — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 16:16:25 -0800

Otto Bismark had a famous quote, which I can't find right now, that goes something like - the first generation makes the money, the second generation becomes a financial manager to try and keep it, the third generation goes into the arts and the fourth generation blows it.

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 16:16:52 -0800

He was a hero, this will be my first and only ".", for a lion of the faith, a man who, for once, has truly earned a moment of silence.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 16:33:41 -0800

It sounds like he devoted most of his life to getting out of his head. Yes, it seems that at every possible opportunity, the Count got fried off his nut.

By: ninjew

ninjew — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 16:41:08 -0800

Ja ja ja, mach schnell mit der art things, huh? I must get back to Dancecentrum in Stuttgart in time to see Kraftwerk. Hey, und dummkopf! Watch out for the CD-changer in my trunk, eh? Idiot. posted by John of Michigan at 4:54 PM on July 5 How coincidental that this episode rerun aired this evening on my local Fox affiliate.

By: everichon

everichon — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 16:44:16 -0800

This made my day. Vielen Dank!

By: TheOnlyCoolTim

TheOnlyCoolTim — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 17:46:56 -0800

It's pleasing to know there's still dissolute aristocrats from dwindling families living a truly decadent lifestyle. Much better than Bush's coke and DUIs.

By: geoff.

geoff. — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 18:46:10 -0800

Simpsons clip, sound is off.

By: snoktruix

snoktruix — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 19:18:14 -0800

He was a hero? As an ex-Cambridge undergraduate Oxford post-graduate I've seen at first hand people of this ilk. Wasters who happen to very rich. They're horrible, selfish, destructive people.

By: A dead Quaker

A dead Quaker — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 19:34:47 -0800

Reading this obit, I found that I had to keep checking the date to make sure it wasn't 1 April. I mean, this guy sounded like some caricature dreamt up by a reporter to mock the Germanic nations. I mean, I was thinking of Sidd Finch, for fuck's sake. But this Bismarck guy is (was) real? I am so happy to finally have it demonstrated to me that truth is stranger than fiction.

By: davy

davy — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 21:02:56 -0800

"We really need to get serious about partying if we're to stand even the tiniest chance of defeating this dead man." I'll drink to that!

By: davy

davy — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 21:07:24 -0800

It looks like I might well outlive him and I'm just a lowlife lumpenprole.

By: lukemeister

lukemeister — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 22:04:22 -0800

Count Gottfried's great-uncle and namesake was a Nazi official who allegedly became part of the famous plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler. More here.

By: jack_mo

jack_mo — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 02:26:25 -0800

Zephyrial writes '"He never married."

'You don't say. Hmmm.' That's a standard last line for obituaries of gay men, from the days when being gay could only be implied. Using it in this context is bloody genius. chinston writes 'I mean, the debauchery was funny in itself, but at the same time when I heard the punch line, I was like, "Uh, exactly."' I thought the same thing, and as kosem says, at least one of the British comics makes the point in the documentary - it's a much funnier joke with the (original?) alternative '...the Sophisticates!' punchline.

By: ancientgower

ancientgower — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 04:08:29 -0800

Having thought the same thing about "the Aristocrats!," I hereby propose a punchline of "the Baptists!"

By: howfar

howfar — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 06:36:31 -0800

I've also heard it with the punchline "...the Debonaires!", who appear to be a reggae band as well...they sound alright, but perhaps not as entertaining as their namesakes.

By: dash_slot-

dash_slot- — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 11:34:31 -0800

a room in the flat contained what many people would call "unusual" and "bizarre". Amongst other things, police officers found buckets full of dildos, large rubber sheets, gallons of lubricant, mirrors, a butane gas canister and a box full of syringes. Obviously, his parties were not for the shy or retiring. Is this the man we're looking for? He doesn't look a day older than... wha? 43? Eh?